Month: March 2006

Just did a quick interview for an online magazine called Deansplanet.com.  You can read it HERE if you want…

Saw George Clinton  and the P-Funk play last night at the Starland Ballroom (in NJ) and just like last time I saw him, it was fucking amazing. His guitarist Blackbird sounds like Zappa and he keeps it all nice and tight. I told him he was amazing and that he reminded me of Frank Zappa and he responded to me today on myspace:

 "By the way FRANK ZAPPA is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE GUITARISTS!!!, I ALSO SAW JIMI HENDRIX ON YOUR SITE , THAT WAS MY GUY TOO !!!! THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT , We’re leaving town now THANX again !!!! BBMc"…

You couldn’t help but get high at the show, everyone smokes grass there. It was amazing to see how many young people love George, all these teenagers were yelling "we want the funk!!!" in unison. George is like a big teddy bear and just makes everyone smile. George is one of the best artist to see live in concert…if he is heading your way, you really should check him out, it’s quite the experience. LOTS of love in the air and the music is AMAZING. 

George is so friendly to the people back stage and signs autographs and poses for pictures with everyone, he is just one of the nicest stars I have ever met. I love giving him HUGE hugs! He is like a Funk Daddy!  In the dressing room, I showed them all that blog I wrote about them last year and they loved it.

Click HERE to read that blog.  

   

< George and I (YAY!)

You gotta just love him, so colorful and friendly….

  < Carlos the amazing dancer

George had his Grand daughter on stage for a while rapping, she looked to be about 17 years old.. she is about to release her first album and he is letting her do her thing during his show. He lets a lot of his buddies come up and jam, I think that is so cool.. sharing the love, sharing the spot light, the man hasn’t a selfish bone in his body.. LOVE YA GEORGE!

As promised, Catherine drove up from Baltimore again to indulge in a massage-trading binge. I massage her, she massages me, then we eat and start all over again.  It’s heaven and I need that from time to time, as like I said, she is my favorite massage therapist, she can kick my ass JUST how I like it.

I have been back in NYC for almost 2 weeks and haven’t gone out yet, until last night that is. I have been ill (still am a tiny bit) and raising hell has been the least from my mind. Anyhow, Jonesy, Catherine and I all met at  Iggy’s  for some rowdy karaoke. Well, Catherine didn’t sing this time (she had a bit of stage freight).. But Jonesy  (one of my best friends, like a Brother to me) tore up the stage and I was out of control and it felt mighty fine 🙂

  < Iggy, the owner of Iggy’s (go figure)

It was Iggy’s birthday AND he made an announcement.. that he and his wife are expecting! Papa Iggy! YAY!

  

Jonesy singing "Feels like the first time" ^                            Catherine chillin’ like Bob Dylan^

 < After my second Patron Margarita     :O

I think I weigh twice as much as Jonesy  heh heh ^

Getting  tired of me posting nice pictures of me? Not to worry, this one should make you feel better (or turn you off of eggs).
Catherine and I stormed into a 24 hour a day Diner and could not stop laughing. I think I was giving oral sex to my egg yolks… um.. that’s Patron  Tequila for you…

Q.

 Dear Dr. Dot, I’m a man in my mid-forties and I’ve been in a steady stream of relationships since I was 18. I’ve never really been able to enjoy the single life. I always seem to rebound right into another one. Mostly out of convenience, I think. I’ve recently become single and I’m really enjoying the freedom. My past relationships seem to have been like one long date (averaging about 2 years).

 I owe this to my complacency and not being as good at the game as the women I’ve loved/or not loved. And for this reason I feel like I’ve always been with the wrong woman when the right one came along. But my question is this: How do I stay single and happy? It seems most women fall in love with me the moment I have sex with them. Forgive the arrogance of that statement, but it’s an experience I’ve had many many times. Even when I explain that my goal is to stay single, they seem to just take that as a challenge. I don’t want to be celibate and I don’t want to be tied down. I want to be single until someone I really like comes along and love grows out of a "mutual desire" to be together forever. Which brings up another question: In this day and age, is it improper to date more than one person at a time? And that brings up this question: How truthful should you be to these women about the other women? It seems things stay uncomplicated if I don’t sleep with anyone but…c’mon. Any light you can shed on this is very much appreciated.

 Free-Bird Frank

A.

 My Grandmother told me to "play the field" until you find the right one. You said you are upfront to the ladies that you just want fun and to remain single, so of course you should do what and who you want. If they don’t like it, show them the door. Ask them if they would prefer a lying coward who claims he is loyal or a brutally honest (and brave) man who puts all his cards on the table. I prefer the honest approach personally. Going with out sex just to hold onto your freedom is like bombing for peace. It’s just stupid. Sex is one of the best things on earth (besides music) so never deprive yourself of that. The fact that they all "fall in love" with you after you fuck them is a compliment but I hate to break the news to you, it’s normal, happens all the time if the sex is even remotely good. Most women feel that if you are IN them, you love them. They usually equate the love feeling with how good the sex is. (Also, it is rather hard to find a man who lets the ladies cum first AND can lick them until they cum, so once they get a hold of one of those men, they hang on tight!). You can either start pretending to be a shitty lay, or stand by your rules, which are as clear as day in my eyes. Stop being so wishy washy and stand up for your freedom, don’t let the pussy whip you.

                                                  

Q.

 My boyfriend (since 4 years) is really pissing me off. He is addicted to watching the World Cup soccer crap on TV and it’s ruling our lives. We live together so I have to see and hear all the dam games. On weekends it’s worse, he goes to Sports bars and watches them with his buddies. This Soccer thing will go on until the end of summer, I don’t know how to deal with this situation that long. I have tried crying, yelling, screaming, nothing works! Worst of all, he doesn’t screw me as often as he used to. I feel left out and need ideas on how to get me back onto his menu. I don’t want to leave him for another but this World Cup BULLSHIT is pushing me to my limits! Frustrated Frida A. Men love to watch other men chase balls around, you can not change this phenomenon. You should get busier with your own life so his hobby doesn’t annoy you so much. Even if you left him for another man, the new man would probably also have a hobby that diverts his attention from time to time. . Bitching and moaning and pouting will only make the game look much more exciting. When he is watching the games at home, make sure you know when the big breaks are and just come into the room wearing only a smile and blow him

. This will remind him in a nice way how much fun you are. Actions not words my dear.

 Q. What will happen if I stick pencil in my vagina?

A.

 I didn’t have to answer this stupid fucking question, but I want my readers to know how ridiculous most of the questions that are sent my way each day are. This has got to be one of the dumbest ones so far. Part of me thinks a horney 13 year old boy wrote that question, but if not, and it is truly from a female, all I can say is (1) It won’t get sharpened (2) Never stick a pen or pencil in any of your holes. They can harm you by their sharp edges and germs AND they may get stuck somewhere and you will have to go the Emergency room and explain how dumb/desperate you are. If you can’t find a man to plug you and can’t afford a decent dildo, you can always use an unpeeled (and washed) smooth skinned cucumber……..

        

…..I suppose this answer puts me on the Highway to Hell, but then again, you should love your veggies.

Dr. Dot

 

If you need help, call us ^

   

If you are heading to the Bahamas and plan to stay at the Atlantis Hotel, on Paradise Island < The Bahamas: "A little bit cheesy but it’s nicely displayed"

(No, I didn’t take this amazing shot of the hotel)  ^

make sure you bring your own food (the food I ordered from room service was nasty as hell every time). Also, oddly enough, you are not allowed to SWIM after 5pm in the ocean or the pools. Since when is the ocean owned? I was sick as a DOG the whole time ( I was there from Friday to Monday) with an ear infection that spread into my head and sinuses etc… but at least I got some day light on my face (something that usually never happens cause I am up all night and sleep all day).

What I loathed the most about the area, is everyone is sucked into the Casino which is in the hotel. You have to walk through the Casino in order to get to the ONLY good place to eat called the Market ( $44 for all you can eat AMAZING quality buffet).. I can’t STAND gambling and the casino is smokey and loud, it was really annoying. I really don’t have time or desire to lay around a beach, but I was invited for free, so I couldn’t resist checking it out.

Seriously, I prefer Key West Florida (sun, fun and classic ROCK everywhere!)  to these exotic locations.. too many rules, too expensive (internet was $22 for 16 minutes) and the food sucks… the best part was the turtles….

 View from room  ^

They are so cute!!!!!

My FAVORITE creatures, Turtles…. love ’em!

As usual, my hair is messy and a wreck.. can’t help it, I’m a rock star ……. heh heh

  Seagul who was threatening me with a fly by pooping ^

It’s pretty in some spots, but bring your own food and a tent and you’ll be better off…

ps. I met Dennis Rodman and Glen Close briefly in the airport on the way there, but neither wanted to pose for pics…

Q.

I am 34 and just found out I can not conceive children.

 Now I have given up all hope of ever finding a man that would want me and stay with me forever.

I would be grateful for any advice you can spare.

No bun Barb

A.

"Forever?" It’s 2006, wake the fuck up.

There are some men who don’t want to have kids and there are MANY men who already have

enough children from previous relationships that just want a lady with no baggage, so they can be

her number one "baby". Sometimes having a kid together actually drives couples apart, as it is the most

 strenuous task two people can go through together. That is one less problem you have to worry about,

just try to see the positive side of your situation. If you radiate "woe is me" people will smell it and it’s

a HUGE turn off to men. As seedy as it may sound, check dating web sites for "single fathers" or

 "divorced fathers" ads. You may be surprised how many eager men are out there who want a woman

 for fun, not for reproduction.

Q.

Yo Dot, first off, you one fly sista. You dope on a
rope. i swear. But I got me a situation on my hands
and i could use some advice.
I’m a stand up comic at a club and the host and I have hung
out a few times. I think I could definitely shag her
but I’m worried about – ya know- shitting where I
eat..etc… she claims she is going to make a job
change soon but I dont know if that’s true or even when
that will be and I dont know if I can wait that long.
Shit, I mean she is SMOKING HOT!!! what’s a boy to
do?

Da Fruit Fly

A.

If you are both single, and she wants you, give it to her good. As we all know, you never know

 when your time is up, so do like Janis and "get it while you can".

Q.

I caught my husband cheating on me. Caught him a few times now and he swears the ladies mean

 nothing to me , but it makes me flip out and cry for weeks. We get along perfect in every other area of

 love and life but this can not go on. How much of this is a woman supposed to accept before she leaves?

I am tired of his pathetic lies but I love him. Help me.

Wise to the Lies

A.

No one is perfect. If you get along in every other aspect but he strays, you may want to try a

 different approach. Notice when you chase a dog, he only runs further away? But if you stand still

and get busy, act like you are having fun and ignore the dog, it will usually come back to you and see

 what the hell is so entertaining. This also works with men. Rather than whining and complaining about

 what he is doing when he isn’t with you, get busy and have fun. If he tries his petty fibs on you, casually

say "don’t insult my intelligence with your lies, just spare me ok?". Make him know his games bore you.

The more freaked out you get, the more exciting the other women become to him. If you are apathetic,

 they won’t seem nearly as fun. This approach is tough, but in these modern times, practical and realistic.

 All that should really matter is how your partner is treating you. You can’t control what they do when they

 aren’t with you and it will only make you crazy wondering.

Q.

I hate my labia, you know, the meat curtains. The lips are too long and one is a tad longer then the other.

I won’t make love in a lighted room, that’s how ashamed I am. Am I the only one with this problem? I want
a pretty camel toe.

A.

Dear Mighty Meat,

Take note that men aren’t really bothered much by most imperfections, they are just happy to get laid.

 I have asked men if they prefer tiny lips or big ones and they usually say (in the same tone a parent talks

about their offspring) "I love them all just the same!". But, if this is affecting your self esteem to the point

 where you feel unattractive, you could have them altered surgically. Bad side of that is you have to wait 6

weeks to try out your new and improved lips. I found a place for you that deal with that:

www.libertywomenshealth.com Have a nice trim!