Q.
Hi Dr. Dot,
Your column rocks!
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. I’m 45, she’s 33, both in great health. I came close to breaking up with her a few times within the first four months,
as she did not want to become intimate. She convinced me to stay, and we’ve been having sex for several months now, and we’re monogamous. However,
she’s the least sexual person I’ve ever been with- she does not like me to touch or kiss her vagina (even the lightest touch is met with "it hurts, please don’t touch
down there"). She has a very methodical system of having sex; first she masturbates to orgasm, and then allows me entry. This is the only way she’ll allow it.
No oral either way, and not even any kissing. This is barely acceptable to me, but the frequency which she allows (I want it every day, she allows it once a week)
is not acceptable at all. Also, she never uses her tongue to kiss, keeps her mouth closed, and our kissing never lasts more than a few seconds. When I bring any
of this up, she says I am calling her an "ice princess", calling her frigid, which she gets very defensive about. She claims there has never been any molestation in
her past, and that she’s normal and I’m oversexed. I’ve had long-term, very sexual relationships in the past without complaint, but I don’t know how to handle this,
other than breaking it off. She’s a wonderful girl and very much marriage material, other than this issue.
Do you have any advice?
At Arms Length Larry
A.
You want it "every day"? Good luck finding someone who wants it every day for
ever and ever. Anything less than once a week is bullshit but every day could
turn into a chore. A dull routine.
In my opinion, you will have to leave her OR marry her and cheat to get your
fill. Imagine a whole life of no head, no French kissing etc.
Q.
I still live with my parents, even though I am 23. I am a very horny girl, compared to my friends. I like to have random sex (always safe sex!) with men
I just met at a party or bar. I have fucked a few guys in public and it turns me on more than in a bed. Any ideas or tips on how to make things run smoother?
I always end up getting disturbed when I jam out with my clam out.
Spanish Fly-girl
A.
Lead your prey into the ladies room and bring him into a stall. Lock the door and in the doggy style position, have one hand on the flusher and one on back of toilet.
Every time someone
sends people running. If he can keep shagging you through all that, he is a keeper. Construction sites, stair ways of hotels and malls are usually empty, just aim
for the top floor so there is no traffic. I still haven’t joined the Mile High club yet but I can imagine that would be the hottest, riskiest place ever.
< The Greek love getting naughty in Public
Q.
I am a flaming gay, hot 20 year old guy. I live in an area that is plagued by straight college guys, which make me Horny but confused. How do I tell if they can be
swayed to take a walk on the wild side? I don’t want to get punched out but I have to get laid or my blue balls will start dragging on the fucking ground. Send help fast.
Dainty Danny
< Flaming
A.
Eye contact has got to be the best way to tell if a guy likes to pack chocolate or not. When you gaze into their eyes and they get pissed off, bingo, not gay. Posting ad’s
online will save you time as well as telling waiters who you KNOW are gay that you are going home to have a pull should get you laid in no time. Embrace your sexuality
if you are gay, let it be known and word will get out and hopefully the guys who are curious or also queer will gravitate towards you. Straight guys know that buying lots
of drinks for their date increases their chances of getting in there, so why not try it on yours?
Q.
How can I tell if a guy has a big dick? Gawking at their hands and feet has let me down in the past.
Desperately Seeking Big Dick
A.
The Germans say you can tell by how big/small the man’s nose is. If you have a chance, just make out with them, clothes on, just bumping, grinding, feeling around.
If he doesn’t measure up to your cock standard, stop kissing and tell him “I am sorry, we are moving too fast” and politely end the date/face sucking session and move on.
My girlfriends and I have concluded that most men with giant dicks are usually GIANT DICKS. Sadly.
