Me- sleep deprived forgot to cut the music clip from “Philly Part 1” so the music goes on 3 minutes longer than the freakin’ video footage. Oh well, at least it’s a great song. 
I told my uncle Jack that for some strange reason, I felt ‘at home in Philly. He said “probably because when your Mother was young, Philly was her stomping grounds, her play ground for raising extreme amounts of hell”. My Mom was born in Camden, NJ and even though I hear it’s a shit hole now, it was apparently great back then.
I was asked to go to Philly to massage Mr. Simon Cowell, who is on the American Idol audition tour. I left NYC around 2am and Pooh and I got there at 3:55 am. Last time I was in that area, well, Camden, to massage Sting, it took me SIX HOURS because of traffic, so I learned one should never attempt that route in the day time, if in a hurry.
Had a wonderful sleep on the floor of my Four Seasons Hotel room floor. The bed was as soft as Hugh Hefner’s balls. They need to invest in some new mattresses. I prefer the floor anyways.
I find the Philly accent so amusing. Especially the way the say “Coffee”. I pretend I didn’t hear them and make them repeat it over and over again. It’s hilarious. It’s like “Cawfee”
Danny, my ‘Boken buddy, reminded me that FET my top friend from myspace lives in Philly, so we finally got to meet and make some cheeky pics & videos.
Don’t let him fool you, there is Beer in that there jug ^ 
Fet and I had a BLAST from the moment we met. He is a good laugh and has a good heart.
I didn’t know which way to point my camera, there was so much action, so many sights and things to gawk at..
People are STARVING and yet us American’s still invent and drive these obscene gas guzzlers that destroy the Ozone at an alarming rate, just to show off and be “cool”. 
I am at a loss for words….
Doesn’t that look like a beautiful day to you? LOVED it.
This is where the naughty behavior started; the statues were oh so inviting.
“Ride ’em in RAWHIDE!”
< A gift from Danny
Danny insisted I give Simon these silly collectors card, which pokes fun at him. I wasn’t sure how he would act, but I love to push people’s buttons, so I handed it to him and he just laughed. Simon and I chatted for a half hour before I started the massage, I guess so he could get some insight as to what I was like as a person. After a while he realized that I was extremely cheeky, very sarcastic indeed and he said “wow, and I thought I was mean. Dr. Dot you should be on my show; you would even make ME look nice”
Ahh, music to my ears. Heh heh. Yes, I am MEAN. Love it! The Grinch all year long in fact.
Anyways, Simon even posed with the silly card, as you can see below. He is so fucking cool. Some celebs are stuck up or stuck on themselves and refuse to pose and some even snicker at giving an autograph, but Simon was fine with me taking his pic and signing an autograph for me. What a sweet heart.
Danny is over the moon about this ^ fyi
You can tell he is a nice guy by his smiling eyes..
I STILL can’t figure out the f*cking self timer on my camer, so I took this one with my left hand ^
I don’t have a scanner here, so I had to photograph it ^ Doh!
He is for sure one of my favorite clients now. SUPER polite and generous; an English gentleman.
Typical situation here ^ All bed clothes on the floor, where I sleep, and Pooh close to my heart (I have had him over 20 years & can not sleep without him)
work, work, work, it never ends ^ and since I LOVE what I do, it doesn’t feel like work.
OMG!! LMFAO!! 
On my way back up to NYC, one has to pass through Cherry Hill, NJ and I was speeding along, on the phone when this guy above, caught my eye. I nearly caused a major car crash by zipping over a couple lanes of traffic at full speed as not to miss the street closest to this amusing Diner. I even went up a one way street, the wrong way and pulled an illegal u-turn to get into the parking lot.
This is one of those old fashioned diners, where the people still eat in their cars. ^ I couldn’t BELIEVE it. That old couple couldn’t believe that I have never seen one before.
The Elvis impersonator was out there, alone, with a TINY boom box and an Elvis cd, singing away, to NO ONE. He was so sweet to perform for me and pose. I gave him a massive tip and a hug. It was around 90 degrees out that day, so he must have been sweating his great balls of fire off in that red polyester jumpsuit. Poor fella. The stuff I come across is so bizarre, I am So happy I have my camera on me at ALL times now a days. Wish I did that when I followed the Grateful Dead. That was a nonstop freak show. I was too care free to carry a camera or a cell phone or even a beeper. If it didn’t fit in my back pack, it didn’t come with me (and yes, Pooh was there with me too).
It was so fun to meet the photo-shop King in person (Fet). Look at the funny things he makes me ^
ps. The Elvis impersonator can be contacted at:
mcmichaelshark@yahoo.com
and/or 1-856- 665- 2249