Q.
I'm married to the hottest chick ever. We have two awesome young kids, a great apt.
good jobs and are 100% faithful to each other in mind and body. However she is literally
addicted to "mom" chat rooms, "Myspace" and the computer in general. Subsequently our
sex life has all but disappeared.
Before the computer came along we had vibrant, frequent, imaginative and mutually fulfilling sex.
These days I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. When we do, it is under the covers, lights
off and late at night. I come home with flowers, wine, cook diner and get the kids to sleep.
Is she waiting for me in the bedroom in a black lacy garter belt, thigh high fishnets, half
cup bra and spiked leather collar like she used to?
No. She is not. Instead she says, "Don't pressure me to go to bed! I'm on the computer right now!
" I am frustrated, hurt and miserable. How do I get my wife off the computer and back into the bedroom?
Desperate for the solution,
Cuckolded by the computer.
A.
Having children usually does dampen the sex life of most couples. It's not them that do it, but
the task of being parents that sadly lets sex fall low on the list of priorities. Kids should and
do come first for most mothers but this chat room shit has got to stop. I got bored just reading
about it. Thing is, if you are making a decent salary, it may be worth it to stop buying flowers
and wine and invest in a part time, trust worthy nanny to help with the mundane chores which would
then give your wife more free time to tend to the kids, work out, buy sexy panties, etc.
You could maybe bargain with her and tell her you are willing to trade (nanny for her, more time
and sex for you both).
You may have to write her a romantic note and tell her you are sad that she gives people she has
never met (and will probably never meet) her undivided attention. The net is a double edged sword.
It helps so many people but yet kills so many marriages and sex lives. You really have to speak up
and tell her sweetly you feel neglected and miss her. If telling her nicely doesn't work, unplug
the PC and wisk her away in your arms to bed, even if she's throwing a tantrum, she has to see
the light or lose a good man.
Q.
I was thinking about an advice column you wrote a few weeks ago about internet relationships…
I have been involved (business & friendship) with a girl in Belgium for a long time. However,
we grew closer & closer. I admit to letting my dick do the thinking instead of my brain, but
I finally came to the conclusion to break this entire thing off.
She's a married woman who has no problem cheating on her husband with me (someone she's never met in person.).
Because of that I feel I cannot trust her. If she'll lie & cheat on someone she's been married to for
YEARS and has a child with, why wouldn't she fuck me over too?
Am I wrong here? I will miss her friendship so I am sad. but I think I’m doing the right thing by
getting out of this shitstorm of emotions and focusing on the REAL people I can look in the eye.
It was your column that opened my eyes to the situation, and no matter how much it hurts now,
I do think it's the right thing. I just want a non bias opinion. After all, you're the doctor…
Wide awake Wade
A.
You hit the nail on the head. Even though it’s almost normal in Europe to have affairs, the fact you
already can’t trust her is a giant red flag and what if you don’t even click when you meet?
Use your new found free time to meet local ladies instead. All the smoke and mirrors one can hide behind
online can be very misleading and disappointing. Love never comes with insurance but that situation
sounded way too risky.
Q.
When I think about proposing to my lady I feel tears approaching; is it ok to cry in front of your woman?
I have given her 4
years of strength; if I show emotion will she think less of me?
Mr. Softie
A.
It’s normal to leak tears in such special moments, such
as proposals, the birth of your first child or when you both
cum at the same time, you know, big moments, don’t sweat it, just do it.
Q.
Is it true that if someone sucks on my boobs for a few weeks that I will produce milk?
Busty Britney
A.
Even if you’re not pregnant, when the breast are sucked on a few times a day for a few weeks,
they will make milk. The suction makes the body think there must be a baby around and it produces milk.
You would have to find someone to suck on your tits at least 3 times a day and for 20 minutes each time
in order for that to work. In the past, some women went through this to wet nurse. Certain female
aristocrats who didn't want to breast feed would hire a wet nurse (a woman to nurse their baby).
Sometimes the wet nurse had a baby of her own, but it wasn’t necessary. Some men go nuts over
lactating breasts, so if you have the time and a willing feeder, it can be a sexy (but tedious) adventure.
Q.
My boyfriend says I need to learn how to give better head. It hurts my neck, so I never do it for long. It's not like I can take a class
or something. Any tips for me?
Eager Ester
A.
Make him sit on the corner of a bed. You kneel down on your knees (this will
prevent your neck form hurting).
Take his cock into your hand (your best hand, if you are left handed, use your
left hand, if you are right handed, use your right hand).
Hold his cock very firm, imagine the whole time how it feels for his cock.
Just like us girls like a big fat cock, men like a small, tight, wet, pussy.
Suck on the tip of the cock and at the same time, use your hand to hold it
tightly but move it like he is fucking a pussy, you know, stroke it , He
should only notice that you have it in your mouth, he should not see or notice
the hand much. Keep it wet so your hand slides nicely while you keep the head
of the cock in your mouth. Your mouth and hand should work together, the same
pace, the same direction, the same stroke. Ask him once, "does this feel good
baby?" and if he says yes, KEEP doing it, until he cums and when he cums,
don't miss a beat, let him cum in your mouth, and store some of cum in your
cheeks like a hamster does food, and swallow a tiny bit at a time so you dont
choke. He will be happy that you swallow his cum!
and try to look him in the eyes once in a while when you blow him, this makes
him know that you accept him, which is VERY important for a guy.
Act like you LOVE to suck his cock, that you can't get enough of blowing him
and he will go crazy over you!!
Make sure you blow him for a little bit, and say "is this how you want to cum
later? In my mouth?". Then fuck him or make him eat you, and make you cum,
THEN blow him again until he cums, he will be yours forever.