ask Dr Dot DRAFT

Q.

Thelady I am seeing has had 3 kids already (she is a cougar, I am only22). She is extremely uninhibited in bed and that is why I keep goingback to her for such nasty, dirty sex. I do not mind that she isolder or has kids but I am either too small for her pussy or herpussy is too big for me. There is not enough friction. I read ladiescan have such operations to make their twats tighter but she is farfrom wealthy. How can I put a dent in this situation? I feel like Iam fucking a can of paint most of the time but she is so fuckingsexy, I adore her.

MightyMouse

A.

Avoidmentioning the vaginal rejuvenation operations as that would probablyget you cut off from the exciting trim. Have her lie on her stomach,enter her pussy as deep as you can get in there, then ask her tosqueeze her legs tightly together, then you put your legs on theoutside. Tell her to maintain that grip, don't slip out and sheshould feel like a virgin again (this works with her on her backtoo). Another variation you can try is to have her put a couplefingers in her cunt (nails must be cut) while you fuck her. Donecorrectly, this feels amazing for both partners as her fingers canrest on her clit while the fit for you feels much tighter. Wherethere's a will, there's a way.

Q.

Ihave been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and we havebeen having serious relationship issues because every time we havesex, she gets a yeast infection. Its to the point where she resentsme so much for it, that we constantly fight, argue, and refrain fromsex all together. She claims its my fault and I keep giving it toher, but I don't feel any symptoms and she is the only girl I havehad this problem with. I work part time and I don't have medicalinsurance so I haven't had the chance to see a doctor either. Ireally love her, and I don't want to do anything stupid like cheat onher, but more importantly I don't want to lose her over this. Whatcan I do?

TorturedTimmy

A.

Thishappens A LOT. Tell her to make sure she cuts back on eating sugar,carbs and avoid using any soaps on her snatch. Get some yeastinfection cream, like Yeast Guard or something similar. Try and giveit a rest for a few days to work it's magic (if you simply have tofuck, use the creme as lubrication). She also needs to wear cottonpanties (no thongs) to bed so her crotch can breath. You can both eatacidophilus tablets and lots of natural yogurt to keep your bodiesbacteria in check. Try using a condom next time, perhaps that willhelp. Tell her MANY women get itchy/irritated pussies after sex; itis not your fault.

Q.

Iam 22 years old girl and had my first relationship with a guy whotook my virginity and after few months he dumped me. I decided haveanother affair with a guy who made me pregnant. I am not in a goodrelationship and I wish to go back to my first boyfriend who too mycherry and ran. I try to find his whereabouts but only found thathe's in jail and was sentenced for 15 years. I love him very much andI wish to have him back whenever he comes out of jail; am i right togo back to him? I miss him so badly and I have a 4 years old daughterI don't know if he will accept me. Help me.

DitzyDonna

A.

Youmay THINK you "love him" but loving someone who doesn'twant you is retarded. People tend to romanticize about their firstever lover. The one who took their virginity sometimes stays in ourhearts and minds but this does not mean they are "the one".In fact it seldom ever works out being theone. He already dumped you once. It's over. It will never work out.Not only does he not want you (you can TELL when a man wants you, hemakes it very clear by calling, texting, emailing, trying to find youlike the sperm tries to find the egg) but he is in JAIL. Do youreally think this is the best father figure for your daughter? Youneed to get busy as it sounds like you have way too much free time.Would you want your daughter to spend her time chasing a criminal whodoesn't even want her? I doubt it. Set a good example for your kid byworking hard and only loving men who love you (and I don't just meansex you, I mean LOVE you). You are wasting your time even thinkingabout this idiot. Get busy, move on and the right man will comealong. Men usually don't mind when a woman has a child already,especially a cute little daughter. It shows them you are capable ofpushing out a healthy kid and either gives them hope they will getone out of you too or if they don't want any of their own, they willenjoy the fact you have one and won't be bothering them for a child.

Q.

Mylover and I have great sex but whenever he is about to ejaculate hewithdraws and beats off over my tits, face or ass. He very rarelycums inside me. I have never climaxed with him because he alwayswithdraws and spews over me. I am then left feeling frustrated. Ihave been with him for almost a year but don’t know how to talk tohim about this. He watches a lot of porn and I think that becausemost of the porn he watches this is what the guys do, he thinks thatis the norm.

FrustratedFridah

A.

Menshoot their spunk over a woman for numerous reasons (1) In theirsubconscious they may think the girl won't get pregnant if they pullout (2) It's fun to watch themselves mark their territory (3) Theyare curious as to how exactly big that batch is.

Heshould be grateful he has such a good sport as a partner as somegirls would get offended when a man sprays his baby gravy all overthem. I am guessing he never asks about you having an orgasm and ifnot, you should learn to speak your mind. The fact that he is doingsomething that annoys you is partly your fault because how the fuckis he supposed to know it bothers you if you don't speak up? I assumehe isn't a mind reader.

Justcome right out and say, "Darling, would you stay with a girl whocan't make you cum?” Then he will probably give you a dirty lookand answer, "fuck no! why?" then you say, "well, Iknow it's my fault for not saying anything, but I never, ever cumwith you, in fact I would prefer you cum IN me sometimes, not just onme, so lets try something different please". If you don't whipup the courage to say something, then you deserve to just be hisloving cum rag. 

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Q.

I met recently met ayoung, sexy attractive bloke (I think he is about 24) and we havekissed a few times already. The other night I cracked a joke aboutwanking and he said “I have never wanked”. I thought he wastaking the piss but he was serious and said he would never touchhimself. I kept at it, saying things like “oh come ON, everyonedoes it” and he stood by his statement. Could this be true? Arethere men out there who just don't?

Skeptic Silke

A.

Unless a mans hands areboth broken, he will be using them to snap his carrot. This guy iseither embarrassed to admit it or just flat out lying and either oneshould be a huge turn off (it would be for me). In my opinion,everyone (especially men) masturbate. Keeps the pipes clean. There isno point in prying with this one; he will just keep denying it and ifthere is a SLIGHT chancethat he really has never beat off, I say make a run for it while youstill can as there is something fishy going on. Maybe he has no penisor was brought up by overly religious parents; but my guess is he isa fucking lair and if you stick with him you can expect hefty heaploads of bullshit to follow.

Q.

Dot,I guess u are 1 person that I know that can put things intoperspective. I'm trying to for the life of me figure out why thishappened. I'll give u the short version. I met a woman online, wetalked for about a month, saw each other. 1st night together, shegets me drunk, I pass out, wake up to find her riding me w/oprotection. Took my virginity & like a fool, I fell in love withher. After that 1st night, sex was consensual. Things ended when shewanted to patch things up with her abusive ex. Devastated, notsleeping, & drinking, I got mad one day because her ex waspublicly bashing her, while she still had feelings for him. Inconfronting him, in not thinking, I accidentally told him that her &I slept together. All hell broke loose afterwards. My apology wasaccepted, but she didn't want 2 hear from me after that. They managed2 get back together. However, she's bragging 2 people how she took myvirginity & thinks that it's funny. Understandably, I don't drinkanymore. I have suspicion that I was a rebound.

Insanely-PISSED-OFFPaul

A.

WellI am sorry to hear that your first time, which is supposed to bepleasant, memorable and special, was robbed from you. I would NOTrepeat that story to any females you meet, as it will give themleverage and perhaps they will use it against you. Just chalk it upto a learning experience that excess alcohol rarely leads to goodthings. She seems to like abuse and it perhaps she deserves it.Forget her and when she comes crawling back to you, which she will,you can tell her "no thanks, I have learned my lesson and by theway, you were crap in bed" and this will help you get yourdignity back in check and even have a laugh. Chin up, it wasn'treally your fault, blame it on the booze.

Q.

Mybest friend has a fabulous apartment off of the Kudamm but since shemet this man, she sleeps at his place 99.9% of the time. I needadvice on how to save her. She wants to be there every night for himas she says “if I sleep there every night, he can't cheat on me”.She is Latino and has a feisty temperament so I do not want to gether angry at me but I love her and do not want to see her hurt again(she had a painful divorced). I warned her that she is very clingy.She is 40 and is acting desperate to close the deal, if you know whatI mean. Please help me help her.

GuardianAngela

A.

Justlike you can not save a drug addict; they must really want the help otherwise it goes in one ear and out the other. You won't be able tohelp her unless she asksfor it. You can tell her though, that just because she abandon's herlovely flat to secure her man in his flat, does not mean hecan't/won't cheat. In fact, her being up his ass every single nightmay bore him to the point where he has to fuck around just to keephis sanity and Berlin isthe land of opportunity; you can shag in the Tiergarten for lunch ifyou want or even nosh in an elevator at work; dirty deeds aren't justfor nighttime. Hopefully she is a sexy as she is naive as it seemsthat is her only hope to keep his attention at this point.

Q.

Guessingit would be selfish to end a relationship just because my boyfriendsimply cannot make me cum (?) I have been seeing this Turkish guy (heis 22 and I am 28) and we have a lot of fun together, although thelanguage barrier is tough (his German is worse than mine!). He isbeautiful and passionate; our kisses are like fire. BUT I try my bestto explain to him how to make me cum and it's useless. Oral: nothappening; him on top; not happening; him on the bottom: he wigglesaround too much and is too thin; it seems his is old fashioned anddoesn't realize how important it is for the girl to climax. It's justextremely frustrating! Makes me want to call my ex just to get myrocks off. Words of wisdom please..

HorneyHanni

A.

Yourcheck list didn't include fingers or toys but it sounds like he isn'tbothered anyways. Use a translator (either a person or online) andtell him it is very important to you and if you don't climax with himyou will have to (1) do it in front of him so he can see thefireworks he is missing (2) agree to an open relationship so youdon't explode (3) will have to leave him. I sincerely doubt there isa man on earth that would stay with a woman who could not/would notmake him cum one way or another (unless he was impotent or paralyzedfrom the waist down). Brings to mind a Frank Zappa tune called'DynamoHum'.. “Igot a spot that gets me hot; and you ain't been to it” 

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Q.

   I was with my wife for nearly 20 years before she passed away. A while has passed and now I got this new girlfriend. She is great and all and does stuff for me more so then what my wife would do in the bedroom. However my wife and I had a great sexual relationship. She would do all the stuff I asked but only as special occasions not like this new girlfriend who will do them on command. My wife came all the time from the sex we had. She was even a squirter. She would always orgasm from clitoral stimulation, vaginal sex and sometimes from anal sex as well in any position.

   My new girlfriend  (11 years younger) don't do that and I'm beginning to feel inadequate. I'm an average size guy and was able to satisfy my wife all the time but, with this girl, the only way she gets stimulation is if I hold her legs together in missionary or doggy. Oh and also if I pound the hell out of her.  I can see she's liking it but she never seems to orgasm from it. I've given her plenty clitoral orgasms with my fingers. She enjoys when I use my mouth but my tongue can't create the same pressure which my fingers can that she enjoys so much. She's different from my wife in that after she has an orgasm her clit gets extremely ticklish instead of sensitive. Which sort of kills the mood somewhat by her laughing but I'm sort of use to it now. Also its frustrating when you go from a women that is getting pleasure from your penis in every position to a woman who if she does not have her legs together she just says its ok. And for me seeing and hearing her enjoy the sex is what turns me on and makes me orgasm. I get off on hearing her enjoying herself as well and if she ain't I might orgasm but it's not as fulfilling for me. Hearing her say it was "ok" is real buzz kill. She did mention to me that she doesn't seem to get any feeling down there and its not me. She's had a guy larger than me and it felt the same way. So I'm wondering will kegels get her to feel me better. She has had a child and never heard of kegels when I mentioned them to her. I feel her ok, only when I do put her legs together, it intensifies the sensation to make me orgasm more quickly creating a feeling of her being more tighter. Even though I orgasm more quickly from her legs being together I have done it when I really had no orgasm left but just kept going strong for a while hoping she would orgasm but to no avail.

   This girl is addicted to me because she said she's never had someone make her feel the way I do. I love the fact that she does all this stuff on command but when you go from having a woman who is all you knew for 20 years who orgasmed in any position to a woman who does not, makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. And all of the sudden me being average which satisfied my wife perfectly has me wondering if the only way she'll orgasm is with a dude who is really big.

   I've read one of your post that suggested the lube on the belly thing with her on top. Out of the question for me. Got a bit of a beer belly. Can't rub her clit in doggy; she's got a bit of a booty on her and if I lean over to reach for it I lose the ability to thrust her well being that I'm not 10".

   With all the girls I've been with when I was a teenager up until I met my wife (7 in total), this is the first time I've came across this problem and feel very inadequate about my size. She says I'm fine. But I don't like the feeling of not making her orgasm from intercourse and it's hell going from 20 years of having a woman who I made squirt with my penis inside her to a woman who can barely feel it unless I squeeze her legs together. I know every woman is different but she is unique. First woman to be this uninhibited but also the first to make me feel like I'm not not up to par. Not by her on purpose like to say you are too small or anything, just that I feel like shit when ever I ask her how a certain position that I knew got me and my wife and other girls off and she says it was "ok". I just can't help this feeling of inadequacy.

Beer Belly Bart

A.

It is impossible for a normal woman to compete with a squirter who comes in every position. That voodoo pussy your wife took with her to the grave is a rare thing. If you keep comparing every woman to her, you will remain frustrated. I still think you should lay on your back, on the floor (naturally on a blanket) and let her ride you so she can come like that, belly or not. The belly may even help make her come as her clit rubs against it. Try it, what's the worst that can happen? Most women NEED lit stimulation to come so please do not be surprised that she can't come in the positions you mentioned that avoid clit contact. It's SEX for fuck sake, not boot camp. Every partner is different. This woman is "addicted" to you, loves you and does what you want on command. You're the envy of most men at this point yet you're still whining. Asking her to kegel is like her asking you to take viagra. If she is open minded and has a good sense of humor, buy her the “Kegelmaster” (google it). Either work with what she has or find another partner. Not sure why you are already settling down with another woman when you have only had 7 in bed so far. Perhaps it is time to enjoy playing the field a bit as this one you have now literally doesn't seem to fit.

Q.

Me and my boyfriend just started going out and we both love to do it doggy style, but whenever we try, he can't enter me almost like he doesn't reach. He's not small he's an average size like 6 inches but I have a crazy hourglass figure aka a big butt lol. Is this the reason and how can we do it in this position?

Berth Butt

A.

You are telling me your Ass is literally too big to mount, which I find very difficult to visualize (although I'm sitting here trying). How about you sit him on a stool and squat on him instead? That way you will get all of his whopping "6 inches". If you really insist on Doggy Style, try it standing up (put on foot on a step). Where there's a will; there's a way.

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Q.

So,I've been told that I give pretty good blow jobs. But, the only thingthat I am not sure of is how to finish. After he cums and I swallow,what do I do? I just was wondering what was customary to doafterwards after his erection is going away. Thanks a bunch,

NaughtyNadia 

A.

Afterdowning a half pint of his Throat Yogurt, he probably doesn't carewhatyou do. He is surely still in heaven at that point. Maybe get a glassof water to wash it down while he comes back down to earth or justlie next to him, give him space and relax. Let him entertain you,don't worry about "doing" anything.

Q.

My ex is a bar tender;super hot babe but sadly, her being repeatedly unfaithful lead to ourbreak up. We dated for 5 months and she claims we were “notexclusive” and therefore she wasn't “cheating”. I was pussywhipped; best ride I've ever had and now I find myself gravitatingback to her like a moth to flame because I am starving for her cuntagain but she's dating my ex best friend now too. Part of me wantsrevenge. Take her back or run the other way?

Muffin Man

A.

Bartendersget their legs over more than any rock star so what did you expect?If you want your mates sloppy seconds, go for it. Make sure you wrapit up tightly though.

Q.

A.

Once in bed, never ask a woman "can I do this" except for when it comes toanal sex, then you really need to ask as it is painful as fuck andnot for everyone. Asking permission shows you're a wimp, a pussy,insure and unworthy of a tit fuck.  Simply sit on the edge ofthe bed, throw a pillow down by your feet and ask her to kneel on herknees. Get some lubrication gel and lube her cleavage up, make itfun, squeeze her boobs, massage them, oil up your cock, lean forwardand guide her hands so that her tits surround your cock then squeezeher breasts tightly around your dick. She will get the idea andhopefully enjoy it. Help her out by thrusting up and down- it is notas easy as it looks in "films" but it can not be missed,one must try it at least once, at least for your wank bank. 

Q.

Having an orgasm throughintercourse just isn't happening for me. I tried the “cheese graterposition” you have spoke about a few times (girl on top, guyholding girls ankles, sliding her back and forth). No go. I findmyself masturbating before my boyfriend comes over just to take myedge off as I know he can't get me there. Oral has worked a few timesbut he moans that his neck, jaw and face hurts for days after so thatsort of takes all the fun out of it, innit? Am I destined to just bea wanker?

Famished Fanny

A.

Try preparing your pussybefore he comes over, without actually climaxing. Watch a “video”for a bit, perhaps pet her a few times, make sure you are a tadhungry (eating before sex makes climaxing more difficult). When hearrives, have him lick you a little bit so he doesn't whine aboutbeing over worked. Then stuff a pillow vertically under your ass soyou're twat is raised up, then have him mount you and go to town.Make sure he grinds into you and your clit and of course thinkingvery naughty thoughts should push you over the edge to get thatprimal scream you're seeking. If that doesn't work, he may have touse his hands OR watch you get yourself off. What's the rush? Youwill get there, just enjoy the journey along the way.

Q.

For the past three monthsI have been seeing a Turkish guy. Not one that was raised in Berlin,one that came to Berlin to study. His visa is over soon and he willhave to go back to Turkey UNLESS I marry him. Things seem rushed,although I am head over heels for him. Either he is the worlds bestactor or he is equally in love with me. He says it all the time andit feels like our love is real. It seems just too good to be true. Iknow people are blinded by love sometimes, this is why I am writingto you; to find out your opinion. How long should a couple know eachother before they marry? Is love at first sight really possible or ishe after a German passport? I would love to marry him but only if itis true love.

Lost in Love-Lana

A.

Immigration does tend to fuck with people's love lives sometimes. The pressure for people from different countries is enormous. Couples who would normally be okwith just dating each other tend to make haste decisions out of fearof losing their loved one. One way to find out his true intentions isto suggest you moving to Turkey to be with him. If he REALLY loves you for you, it shouldn't matter where you live. Tell him you canvisit him all the time  until you both certain you want to marry. If he hates that idea, it could be he is just as in love with Berlin ashe is with your snatch. You could be cheeky and tell him you will marry him if he passes a lie detector test; see what his reaction tothat is. Marriage after 3 months of dating is insane but if you are really crazy about theguy, get him to sign a prenup (if you have valuable assets), marryhim and see how it goes. You can always divorce him if things go wrong. Nothing is forever except the Earth and Sky. You could get run over by a tram and die tomorrow; take a chance on love; you only live once.

Q.

I got myself into a predicament and I need advice. I am a touring artist and whilst in Spain I met a stunning 29 year old Lady (I am 38). We communicated for a few months online/phone and decided to take the next step by having her move in with me here in Berlin. I have a spacious one bed room flat with a work room where I do my art. Since she doesn't know anyone or speak German, all of her focus is on me. The first 4 months everything was amazing. She spoiled me with her cooking, hour long blow jobs and keeping the flat tidy. Working is difficult as she “pops in” every hour to talk to me while I am busy which makes me lose concentration but that is the least of the problems. She is overly jealous and flips out more frequently as time goes on. In fact, she has hit me three times. One time it was a violent slap but this past time she went off on me; punching, scratching and pushing while screaming “I hate you!!”. Next day she acted as if nothing had happened, as it was just a drunken stupor. Apart from the violent mood swings and jealousy, she is perfect for me. I am an attractive man and women are very flirty around me, which makes her wig out. Is there a sane way to tame this Goddess? 

Punching Bag Paul

A.

It never ceases to amaze me what Men will endure for great head. No one deserves to be hit. This can only get worse, not better. No matter HOW physically attractive she is, her true colors are shining through and they are ugly. Please try to imagine staying with her and having children with her. She will probably end up beating them as well. You work at home and she is up your ass 24/7, a lethal combination but NOTHING merits such behavior. If a man strikes a woman, everyone makes a big deal out of it but somehow when a woman beats up her man, some seem to let it slide but it is NOT ok. The fact that she is unapologetic shows she finds her behavior “normal” which means she may have been brought up in an abusive family. Unless you want copious amounts of drama in your life, I would buy her a one way ticket home and send her fiery ass back to Spain. Adios Bitch. 

Q.

Due to a car accident I was in, I developed Sciatica and have been on painkillers for the last year. I am having difficulty getting an erection during sex. I cannot take Viagra because of a heart attack I had. How can I rise to the occasion again Doc?

Mr. Softie

A.

Pain killers can give you a limp dick. If you quit the pain killers and get a few adjustments from a chiropractor to cure the Sciatica, along with regular massages to keep it at bay, you should be good to go. Pain killers, alcohol, weed etc, do a number on the cock. Wank often: just like any muscle, if you don't "train" your penis on a regular basis, it too will get weak.

Q.

I am heartbroken! My life has spiraled into the toilet and the pain is 

unbearable. I am super confused and I don't know where to turn for 

answers. First of all, I am 30 and my wife is 26. We have been married for 4 years now (dated a year before we wed). I met her in my hometown of  NYC, we got married after about a year and moved to Berlin, we then moved to London so that she can pursue a degree in Architecture.

I love her more than anything an she always told me how much she loves  me and is in love with me. Last week however after she returned from a  class trip to Venice she told me that she doesn't love me anymore and that she wants her life back, she says " you're a good man, a very good man and I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore, and I 

can't be with you anymore "I want my life back" she says!

I asked her if she had an affair and she swears that there isn't anyone. She said that she feels like her love for me is decreasing. I keep persisting that we see a marriage counselor but she adamantly refuses! She says that it will not help us. I am extremely confused, My wife means everything to me. Please help.

Gutted Gary

A.

Keep in mind that she was only 21 when you started dating and people change a LOT from year to year.  Sometimes people simply grow out of love with their partner. I am sure she still loves you but all of that moving around has probably stirred up her curiosity and made her yearn for independence. As shallow as it sounds, moving from one country to another with a loved one usually does fuck up the plan a bit. Why? Because people tend to want to explore their new land and that can mean exploring other people as well or just wanting to "start fresh" in a new country. If she is American living in London, the British men could be hitting on her left and right "I love your accent" etc. The temptation can just be too strong for some.    I  know if I lived in the UK I wouldn't get ANY work done as the men are just too charming.  It is best just to let her go and IF she comes back, it will mean it was meant to be  but you can not force her to fall in love with you again. 21 year olds seldom know what they want 'forever" and she seems to have outgrown your relationship. I am sure it hurts like hell but you need to get busy, keep in shape and move on. She may come back someday but she may never return and time should not be wasted. I know many couples who were "madly in love" and then moved to a new country and it fell apart because of the new unchartered territory being just too much to resist. That and the fact she was so young when you started this journey is part of the blame. Do not blame yourself. Try your best to see the positive side to things; you're also a Foreigner in a new land, which works both ways; the Ladies over there may be able to ease the pain.