Dr. Dot’s tips on where to eat, sing and drink in NYC

The last few days have been so gorgeous, even the buildings in the city are basking in the long awaited sun.

You get the idea, gorgeous weather, nice breeze through Central Park. I walked by the Dakota, where that ASSHOLE shot John Lennon on my way to the park. There are always people gathered out front, no matter what time of day or night. They are there to show love. I roller-bladed around the park one time, which is 7 miles. Dodging the many bikers and horse drawn carts, dogs on LONG leashes etc.

There were so many people on the Grand Lawn, I looked to see if Bob Dylan was in the middle somewhere playing or something, but no, just a normal sunny day in the park- packed full and happy.

I find the biggest problem in the park for women is finding a place to pee. There are only two places that I know of to go to and the lines are about a block long, so forget it. You can’t find a private bush or hope to drop your knickers real quick and have a pee without anyone seeing you, both ideas are absolutely impossible. There are always people around no matter what square inch of land you find in the park. I had to go to like 110th street ( which I think is already Harlem) and ask the NYC Bus Department  if I could roller-blade in and use their bathroom. I was the only white cracker around for miles, but they let me. I personally never saw the black/white thing. I get along with anyone until they give me a good reason not to. After I used the bathroom, the bus drivers ( all black) were shootin’ the breeze with me, asking me to show them how to skate someday. I told them I can’t drive a bus, so we are even. We had a few laughs and I was off. Thinking the whole time how wierd it is that from almost one block to the next you go from million dollar apartments to Harlem, where it is obvious the people struggle for every dime they earn. I feel safe no matter where I go to, as the people can sense that I do not think I am better or worse then they are. It is all about how you carry yourself. Use your body language to let people know “he, it’s all good, let’s get along and forget this class/color bullshit!”.

Anyhow, after skating, I had a bit to eat at Dallas BBQ on 72nd street ( almost corner of Central Park West- near Dakota) and thought, why not let you know where my favorite places to eat are and maybe some favorite places to go etc, in the city. If you knew HOW fucking picky I am in restaraunts, you would know that if I suggest a place, it IS GOOD. I am no diva, but I can cook really well and if I go out to eat, it had better be much better than what I can cook or at least have perfect service. So, for food here we go:


Dallas BBQ ( think they have 5 or 6 locations just in Manhattan alone but the one on 72nd street is REALLY clean and has amazing service probably because of the neighborhood it is in, they want to be ready for when Mike Tyson pops in again)

Dallas BBQ is rather inexpenisve AND gives you huge portions, like this obnoxious thing they call the ONION LOAF:

Can you see how BIg this thing is? Afraid 

I had to whip out my camera and take photos, prompting everyone around to laugh their asses off. I wondered how many calories are in that heap of onions and fat. It could feed a small country, it is about a foot tall! Anyways, they have BBQ ribs, chicken, baked potatoes, fries, corn bread, all that stuff and more ( I ate a salad and some of that Onion Mountain and was so full, I had to take my BBQ home and I just ate it, it was AWESOME). So, if you want down home cookin’ in the city and don’t want to spend a fortune ( or dress up) go to Dallas BBQ. You can stuff yourself for under $10!

Moving right along.


Yaffa Cafe: 97 St. Marks place between First ave and Ave A.

This place is open 24/7 everyday! You can get eggs, pancakes, salads, pasta, seafood, crab cakes, and incredible desserts. The best part about this place is the famous decor.It has paintings of Elvis, plastic friut everywhere, gilded statues and big tacky fountain out back for when the weather is fine. There is not one square inch of wall that isn’t decorated, so you will always have something to chat about. The prices are great! Again, you can have a meal, dessert and drink for under $15. Love it!


Sala: 344 Bowery at Great Jones street 1-212-979-6606 ( you may have to reserve a table on weekends).

This place is a bit pricey, average main course is about $17 ( not including drinks and tip!). I love it because it is an extremely romantic place, huge wooden doors that make you think you are entering a castle and it is lit up by candles everywhere. It is a Spanish restaraunt that has a breath taking wine list.Bread topped with garlicky saute’et mushrooms are just one of the many tasty tapas you can order. They have a downstairs lounge that has an almost Moorish setting of bead-encrusted blue tiled walls and most of the week they have a cool DJ there to entertain while you sip gorgeous wine. Anyone looks good here in the lighting and even the tables are covered in colored tiles that make up for the perfect setting for a date. Yummy, gorgeous, but expensive. Expect to pay around $65 for two people (or more if you drink a lot). Very polite service but tell them right away, you DON’T do tap water. ( I read that each glass of water in NYC has been in and out of at least 9 different people by the time you drink it! EW!)


44&X :  It is called 44 times ten because it is on 44th street and 10th ave! Check it out their web site 

I go to this place the most. I LOVE it. It is really right on the corner of 44th and 10th, and it is all glass, so you have a cool view of Hells Kitchen while you eat. In other words, there isn’t a bad seat in the place! All of the waiters ( 99% of them are gorgeous gay men) have on t-shirts that say “Heaven” on the front, and “In HELL” on the back. I have brought many stars here to eat and their managers too. They all love it. The menu is so bizarre, you can get anything here, buttermilk fried chicken with waffles and grits, or beef filet slathered with a sweet tomatoe jam and served with mashed potatoes mixed with butter beans or grilled short ribs over polenta. ( I only eat chicken as far as meat is concerned) . The salads are creative and desserts to die for. The wine is the best here I have ever tasted and the all white HUGE dining room, they always have cool music playing and there are too many waiters, so you never have to wait for anything! The menu  has an Aisian and Southwestern mix to it, so everyone will be happy here it is AMAZING! Again, it is a bit pricey, so only go there with someone who wants to invite you to dinner (hee hee). I am getting hungry now just writting about the place! It is only open Mon-Wed 5:30pm-midnight; Thursday and Friday5:30pm to 12:30am;Sat and Sun 11:30am to 3pm then again from 5:30pm to Midnight. Enjoy!


Cafeteria: 119 Seventh ave ( in Chelsea) tel: 212 -414-1717  ( it is always packed, so you might have to call if you want a table).

This place is packed because Sex and the City has filmed there a few times and the food is good! It is not a place to go if you are a hetro female and want to pick up a hetro men. No no no. This is the gay area of Manhattan, so you won’t even have to make yourself gorgeous to go out to eat if you are a hetro gal ( which is a good thing). It is pretty loud and busy, lots of action. The menu is intersting ( the have green eggs and ham, like from the cat and the hat story, but they use pesto to make them green). Gorgeous salads and healthy foods. It doesn’t take long to eat here, the waitresses are lingering around like voltures in hopes you are finally finished and will get the hell out of there so they can seat the next paying customer, so you can’t linger here like you do in Starbucks. But it is thrilling, tasty and not that expensive.


By now you must be thinking, god, is that all you do is eat? Well, I do go out sometime to have a drink, but usually only to do karaoke. If you don’t know the name of my favorite karaoke places by now, why not? Find out what bar/club is having karaoke in NYC and the surrounding burrows buy clicking here .

 Lucky Chengs is on 1st street and 1st ave ( almost on the corner) this is the now famous karaoke/transvestite chinese restaraunt/karoake club/bar that Britney Spears went to last week and was almost beat up by a jealous girl from the audience. Britney was apparently judging the boxers or brief contest and got a bit to touchy-feely with one of the male contestants.Anyhow, Lucky Cheng is exciting and a good laugh, but the transvestite karaoke dj will sabotage your song if you are a straight, good looking woman ( hence, competition) and this is a fact. The song list is SHIT and you can’t bring your own.

There are always men dressed as women and women dressed as men, and men who used to be women and vice versa fighting over the mirror in the “ladies” room. I think it is dirty and over-rated, but what the hell, check it out.


Other clubs that are fun, that have nothing to do with karaoke are: Niagra ,CBGBS ( both in lower east villiage) which both have a punk aroma to them, and Niagra used to be one of Joey Ramones hang outs. Also, Black and White ( think it is on 10th street between 2nd and 3rd ave) extremely cool music and on Sundays they have open mic for poets and story tellers. Free entrance.

If you are an ass kissing VIP follower, try to get into Bungolow 8 which is where all the big wigs hang out and go to see and to be seen/photographed. I have been there and almost got ill from all the brown-nosing I saw.

Anyhow, I may think of more later, but have to get my broken ass down to the Chiropractor and have him crack my bones.

Lovin this weather-

“Good day sunshine!” Beatles

Love

Dr. Dot

ps. Naturally, if you are in the mood for the best massage in the world, I or one of my assistants can give you a rub down while you visit the city 😉

How Catty

Normally I tell the women who call me for relationship help, that I think men are a lot like dogs(don’t chase them, give them freedom, etc.) but lately, I have been thinking about it and found that men have alot  in common with cats.

1) If you are in a room with a cat and you close the door, the cat will immediately want OUT. But if you open the door and sit back down, the cat will want to stay in the room with you and cuddle. They just want to know the door is open and they can leave if they want. (This is why marriage is a bad idea).

2)If your cat is really hungry, notice how they brown-nose and purrrr, wrap their tails around your legs while you open the can of food. They are all lovey dovey. They won’t let you out of their site! However, after you feed them, they want nothing to do with you. They find a nice warm spot and clean themselves and carry on about their furry lives. Even if you try to pet them after they ate, they act like “talk to the furry PAW!” and “as IF!” and scurry away, UNTIL they get hungry again, then it starts all over again. What to do about it? Keep them a bit hungry all the time and give them freedom, just keep really busy yourself.


It is GORGEOUS out here in NYC, sunny, breezy, no clouds, everyone is smiling away. Paradise.I will go rollerblade and work off that Berlin ice cream situation.

Lovin’ life

Dr. Dot 

A moment of silence for good ol’ Joey

April 15, 2001 

“Joey Ramone, lead singer of legendary punk band the Ramones, passed away Sunday at the age of 49.

The towering frontman, born Jeffrey Hyman, did not respond to treatment for lymphatic cancer, a disease that attacks the body’s ability to fight infection. U2’s “In a Little While” was playing in his room at New York-Presbyterian Hospital when he died at 2:40 p.m.”  Sad, sad day.

Hope Joey is up there in Rock and Roll heaven having a good time, and knowing that he is still loved down here.

Love you Joey

Dot



“If you don’t register, you can’t vote and if you don’t vote, democracy doesn’t work.”- Frank Zappa

Register to Vote Today

Dear Dr. Dot,

Are you and your friends and family registered to vote? As a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists activist network, we know you care about the democratic process and want to make sure that your voice is heard. Generally, only about 50 percent of eligible voters actually cast a ballot. Here are two easy things you can do to improve these numbers: 

1. Register Today with easy online tools
http://www.registrationbyworkingassets.com/UCSUSA

2. Spread the Word
If you are already registered there is still more you can do. Send the following letter to your friends, family, and coworkers to encourage them to register to vote. Copy and paste the text into a new email and send it to your contacts.

Dear [recipients name],

More than 200 million Americans are eligible to vote in state and national elections, yet barely half voted in the 2000 presidential election. As that election demonstrated, every vote counts. It is time that we had a real increase in participation in this process. Register today and encourage your other friends as well.  Thanks to the web, it is now easier than ever.  Just click on this link and fill out the online form,
http://www.registrationbyworkingassets.com/UCSUSA

Sincerely,
Dr. Dot


So I am home now ( don’t know why the letters are so huge) but as predictied, it was the flight from HELL. From my Berlin house door, to my NYC house door, it took all in all 18 hours! I am exhausted. Please think of Joey for at least one minute today and smile. And, if you haven’t registered to vote yet and you CAN vote here, please feel free to do so above, it’s easy and we need some good folks in the White House if you get my drift.

overly tired,

Dot


“There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home”

Tuesday, April 13th

So, after 3 weeks of watching ALL of the Sex and the City reruns ( I have every season on DVD) and many pints of haagen-daas, I am leaving tomorrow, back to NYC.

Jasmine and I have had MUCH quatlity time together, hey, we are best buddies! I have to get my ass home and get the career ball rolling again. Hard to live two lives, I tell you that.

Today Jasmine looked at me and said “pk, it’s official, we are Sex and the City JUNKIES!”. Some one call the cops. But seriously, there is nothing better to watch ( apart from my Simpsons dvds- we got ’em all).

I have rented several dvd movies here too. Just saw the ‘Italian Job’, not bad. Saw a Russle Crowe film last night ( Command -something or other) it was supposively nominated for 10 Oscars. It was like Braveheart but on a friggin boat. Jasmine picked out “Wicked” starring Julia Stiles (absolute CRAP), then I saw “Invisible Circles” with Cameron Diaz ( annoying drug/suicide flick). Then the one where Matt Damon is stuck together with Greg ( guy from As good as it gets)- that was good for a laugh or two, but not more. Eva Mendes has officially joined the “Bimbo” league with this film.

Kill Bill was extremely cool except for two things: 1) It never shows or explains WHY the fuck they are chasing Uma Thurman or want to kill her!  2) Dumb ending (“does she know her kid is still alive”) and that’s it? They just leave you hanging ( probably to prepare for part 2. But I have to say, Uma KICKS ass! And of course, you see the typical foot fettish escapades of the Director ( Quentin Tarrantino-spelling?) He is crazy about womens feet, and reminds you in every flick he does.


next day ( Wednesday)

Now I am in the airport in Zurich, Switzerland, using the cheesy computer. I have to keep tossing coins into it out of fear it will shut down in the middle of my blog.

I only had a 4 hour layover here! I ate at a gorgeous Thia restaruant and bought hand made pralines.The Swiss may be boring, but they are clean, organised and take their food very seriously. You could eat off the friggin floor here it is so clean!!

I am just rambling on here. I will add more photos to the blog when I get home and settled. I will need a couple days of sleep after this.

Hope the plane doesn’t crash.Not a fan of flying. Germs galore, dry diesel smelling-air, having to SIT STILL is the hard part. I drive everyone on the plane mental as I am constantly getting up and strolling around, using the bathroom and stretching my limbs all over the place. I go crazy on planes. I should just take some sleeping pills and conk out, but I am afraid I would get run over by one of those vicious food/drink carts. I also loathe sitting next to 1)HUGE people who smell 2)chatty and or moody babies ( actually, don’t want to sit next to any babies) 3) Chatty people who talk about their niece/nephew  for hours and hours 4) Males who try to convince me to join the mile high club. I once scammed into buisness class. Try it; just make sure you are last to board, then scan any empty seats in buisness class, find one that it similar to your seat number, for example; if your seat is really 43, pick 13 in buisness class and IF they call you out on it, say “sorry!!! I don’t have my contacts in, I could have sworn that was a 13” and be very apologetic and crawl back to Coach class where everyone will scathe you with their eye rolling looks. But it usually works. They are NOT about to question eveyone in buis class as to who belongs where. Just a friendly tip 😉

Gotta get my butt on the plane,

catch you later

Dr. Dot

A tad mean, but funny as hell

An urban youth was asked to do a simple homework
assignment,

Befuddled by the whole school thing, he was given a                                             
set of
vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here’s what he
handed in:

1.  HONOR ROLL – We was playin’ poker on the stoop the
other
day, and man, I was HONOROLL.

2.  PLANET – I got me some seed to grow weed, so I
PLANET in
the backyard.

3.  DISMAY – I went for a blood test, the doctor
pulled out a
big needle. He said, “DISMAY hurt a little.”

4.  OMELETTE – Every time I start a new job, OMELETTE
go after
a week.

5.  STAIRWAY – When me and my homies get high, we
STAIRWAY into
space.

6.  MOBILE – I went to buy crack, I was short on cash,
my man
said, “Gimme one MOBILE.”

7.  DEFENSE – I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE
and got
away.

8.  AFRO – I got so mad at my bitch, AFRO a lamp at
her.

9.  AFTERMATH – I like to be high in school, so
AFTERMATH I go
to the field and smoke weed.

10.  LOCKET – I slam the door so hard, I LOCKET.

11.  DOMINEERING – My girly’s birthday was yesterday,
I got her
a DOMINEERING.

12.  KENYA – I needed change fo the subway, so I axe a
stranger
KENYA spare some change.

13.  DERANGE – DERANGE is where da deer and antelope
play.

14.  DATA – At my basketball game, I scored thirty
points. My
coach said, “DATA boy!”

15.  COPULATE – I called 911 and an hour later when
they show
up, I said, “COPULATE!”

16.  FASCINATE – My girly’s boobies are so big. Her
shirt has
ten buttons, she can only FASCINATE.

17.  BEWARE – I axed the man at the unemployment
office, “Is
this BEWARE I get a job?”

18.  DIMENSION – I be tall, dark, handsome… and not
DIMENSION
hung like a horse.

19.  COATROOM – The judge said, “One more outburst
like that,
and you’ll be thrown out the COATROOM.”

20.  DECIDE – I like Vonda and Yolanda, but I like to
have a
couple of womens on DECIDE.                  

Ladies, be sure to keep your meat curtains tucked in, that’s too much information for us- k?

Dr.

“He’s a real nowhere man”

My friend Andrea, her daughter and I were walking through the Volkspark ( the people’s park) near my flat here in Berlin. It was fairly standard weather for Berlin.  As we were crossing the street, I noticed this HUGE hippie van parked next to the park

There was a lot of writing on it, some in English, so I decided to go knock. The man called out that I can come in. Up until this point, I thought every German named ‘Dieter’ looked like Dieter from Sprockets on Saturday Night Live. Well, this Dieter is as different from Mike Myers “Dieter” as you can get. This Dieter is a regular rollin’ stone, a REAL Nowhere Man ( please hum that tune from the Beatles when you read this blog). I went in alone and started chatting with Dieter and after about 15 minutes, I called to Andrea and Sarina who were at the near by play ground. Andrea said when I went in there, a few people were staring in amazement, as in, I must have a    -lot of courage to enter –such a freaky van. Dieter said he has lived like this for the last 30 years. I didn’t have the balls to ask him how old he was, but he did say he has a 41 year old daughter. Dieter does mosaic tile designs to earn money. His bathroom in the van is so fucking cool, he laid each-  -piece by hand. 

The two dog dishes in the ‘heated floor bathroom’ belong to his only travel companion, Snoopy. That dog is super sweet and was letting himself in and out of the van the whole time. He gets spoiled and has a lot of toys on board which he kept exchanging. He would come in, grab the ox tail, go out, chew for 10 minutes, then come in, put the ox tail back(!), and grab the big bone and go out again.

Dieter keeps his “home on wheels” extremely tidy and organized. He has loads of plants and cool lights all over. He said it took him 7  

years to build it exactly how he wants it. He has an incredible stereo system in there and even in the bathroom it sounds like a concert. He played a ‘Melony’ cd. That was the first concert I ever saw, my folks brought me to see her and I think I was only 2 years old, don’t remember squat of course! I found Dieter to be so cool, I even came back later with Jasmine and we chatted with him for hours.

He said he was married at 20, had a kid and wife, and at 24 he wanted to move to Canada (he is a native Berliner) but his wife was like “oh, but here I have a great kitchen and school for our kid” she was clearly not flexible to move around, so Dieter had to leave her. He had paid her the mandatory HUGE amount of alimony and took off and never went back. Not sure if he sees his daughter or so.

Dieter lives on wheels; where ever he parks is where he lives that day. He reminds me of being on tour with the Grateful Dead, in fact I was surprised he had never seen them in concert. Dieter doesn’t smoke or drink any alcohol, ever. He is a vegan and never lets steel or silver touch his mouth, he only eats with the custom made wooden chop sticks he had made on one of his MANY trips to Nepal. He loves Katmandu and India too. Even though he is a tad old, he doesn’t have ONE grey hair on his head, which proves he is happy and stress free. He whipped out a photo of himself in his hey day and had long blonde hair, looked like a member of the Doobie Brothers.

 The photo to the left is Andrea  (standing) Sarina and some random brave German woman who also came aboard to look. There is Dieter in the drivers seat, playing us some music. He has many crystals and freaky lights, the kind that when you touch it, little lightning bolts come to your finger, you know, like at the science museum- that are sensitive to heat. Dieter is a classic nowhere man, he is happy and refuses to conform to society as we know it. He says he goes to Bielefeld (in West Germany) every once in a while to work (doing tiles). He earns money and takes off again. He says his boss loves his work so much that he can come and go as he pleases. He refuses to stay in one place and NEEDS to explore. The photos I made of his home do not do it justice, it is breath taking and has hand crafted wood from Nepal all over it inside. I brought him a few cds to enrich his collection, two Moody Blues cds and one of me doing Janis Joplin 🙂   Good luck Dietmar and keep on truckin’!

Movin’ right along. I went out tonight with Asita. She and I have been friends for about 8 years. Her dad is Iranian and her mom is German. Asista works for one of Germany’s biggest concert promoters and gets to meet a lot of Rock and Pop stars. She has a wicked sense of humor and we get along GREAT! Seeing her was exaclty what I needed as Berlin was really getting me down. Since I have been gone for about 2 years, (apart from me coming to visit Jasmine every third month) my friends have either moved or are so busy in their lives they have no time when I come so I am often alone. When Jasmine is home it is awesome, but she is a busy girl too and has a HUGE amount of friends and packed schedule, what with school, guitar and tons of gal pals (she broke up with Leon by the way). So if she comes home every day at 7 or 8pm, I am alone and missing NYC badly. I go shopping do the occasional massage and make- over, but still, I long to see friends. I am kind of on call all the time ,when Jasmine has free time, I must be free for her.

Anyhow, Asita and I went to the Irish Pub karaoke night. Fricky came too and did a Michael Jackson tune ( ‘man in the mirror’) and I did tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” .Notice we only did ONE song? The dj is a PRICK and insists on singing so much that no one gets to sing twice. Why do karaoke DJs insist on singing all night? Isn’t the point to let the people who come and spend loads on drinks and wait for hours to sing? I was there from 10pm to 1am and got one song, as did every one else. BUT the DJ, well, he sang 4 times. Hearing a German sing Frank Sinatra and Jerry Lee Lewis (with heavy accent) would piss you off too!

Not sure how long you have been reading this blog, but I wrote about this Dj waaay back, his girlfriend is always there and hates all females that come to sing, last time I went there to sing, he yelled at me the WHOLE time I sang that I wasn’t holding the mic correctly- both songs I sang had him screaming at me in the background- he is one angry KRAUT.

The two photos above: That is Asita sitting in the shoe shine chair. The Irish Pub is inside the Europa Center, Berlins answer to a mall (we have Wallmarts bigger than this “mall”) . Then that is Aista and I holding onto eachother in the pub, kind of holding on for dear life as so many creepy guys were trying to chat us up, I mean CREEPY.Even Fricky was afraid of the guys! It was so fun hangin’ with Asita again, if she dyed her hair platinum blonde, she would be a dead ringer for Mae West, I SWEAR. She is very sharp tounged like me and is a rock chick, which I love. I hope she comes to NYC to visit me, I will show her a good time.

Last but not least, I took this photo of Jasmine the other night  and she HATES having her picture taken and didn’t care too much for my hat either. Jasmine looks just like her father, Benjamin. She has naturally curly hair but hates it. She would like it to be straight. I tell her many women PAY for spiral perms to have hair like hers, she isn’t interested in that. Ah, teenagers. I love her to death.

This blog took me 3 hours to do; the photos and writing etc. I am now back on my bad sleeping habit schedule. It is 7:30 AM so I have to get my ass into bed. Keep those “product ideas” coming, I am grateful 🙂

“Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry- love is all, love is you” Beatles

xx Dr. Dot


Q Magazine and our new assistant TERSA from Dallas

Tersa passed her Dr. Dot team massage audition with flying colors. She is talented and strong, ready to spoil and heal you when you are in Dallas. I am happy her healing hands are now part of our team and trust her to handle you with care. If you are in Dallas or plan to go there soon, drop me a line drdot@drdot.com  and I will arrange to have Tersa give you a treatment. Read more about her below.

Here she is

My name is Tersa. I am a Registered Massage Therapist in Dallas Texas. I have been practicing massage therapy since 2001. I specialize in Performing Artist Body Therapy. Working with dancers and musicians. Working with local musicians here in Dallas has given me the opportunity to gain experience in order to help performing artists with their specific needs. I use techniques from some of the different modalities that I have studied such as sports massage or myofacial release. Right now I work within a rehab environment doing massage as part of the healing process for hand to back injuries. I love being able to help someone become better.  I am currently studying Neuromuscular Therapy to better help the people I work with. I truly believe in the old saying “Knowledge is Power.”  When I was just a kid I knew I wanted to be part of the music world and wasn’t sure how. Then I went to study massage therapy, I knew then how I could help and be part of that world. That is why when I read about Dr. Dot I was happy to see someone else had made their dream come true as well.


Guess the new issue of Q magazine is out-

Hi Dot

I hope you’re enjoying Berlin. I just saw the new issue of Q magazine. It’s on the newstands here now. It has the picture I took of you in it. I don’t know what you’ll think, but I think you look great.

best wishes

Rob
http://www.robhann.com

Don’t shoot the messenger

I am not 100% sure, but I was told the segment I did for VH1 called “The Fabulous life of Hip Hop Super Stars” will air tomorrow, April 4th at 1:30 pm EST (NYC time!) on VH1. I am sure I am only to be seen for a few minutes, but if you are home and laying on your sofa, probably hung over from your Saturday night escapade, tune into VH1 at 1:30pm and have a look. Let me know how it was, as I can’t even see it here from Berlin! I hope I wasn’t all shiny.

I have also been alerted that the 5th Wheel episode will “definitely air on April 30th” probably at 1am as it usually does ( so I am not sure if that means it is really May 1st at 1am, or what! I don’t even trust these 5th Wheel folks anymore, they have told me several times I will be on a certain date, and then I alert everyone and they all stay up and watch, and I wasn’t to be seen, so we all wasted precious time.But like I said, I am only the messenger.

My girlfriend, Andrea told me tonight how much the News on TV is upsetting her. The war in Iraq, terror in Spain, trouble in Israel etc. We see it all on TV, but feel helpless, we can not help or do anything about terror, so it is torture to watch it. Even though it sounds really ignorant, I prefer to watch Animal Planet and E! or VH1 or David Letterman, Sat.Night Live, Tough Crowd or the Simpsons, even Conan O’Brien when I watch TV. The news just makes you want to weep!

I told her she should listen to some Frank Zappa to ease her mind. She said she has trouble (she is German) understanding lyrics sometimes because the music to fast or so. Therefore, I will do us all a favor and now add some Frank Zappa lyrics to this blog entree. Frank HATED TV and these two songs below are so perfect for this topic, read em and enjoy.

This one is called “Trouble everyday”

Well I’m about to get sick
From watchin’ my TV
Been checkin’ out the news
Until my eyeballs fail to see
I mean to say that every day
Is just another rotten mess
And when it’s gonna change, my friend
Is anybody’s guess

So I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’
Hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’
Every time I hear ’em sayin’
That there’s no way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day

Wednesday I watched the riot . . .
Seen the cops out on the street
Watched ’em throwin’ rocks and stuff
And chokin’ in the heat
Listened to reports
About the whisky passin’ ’round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin’ down
Watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

And I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’
Hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’
Every time I hear ’em sayin’
That there’s no way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day

Well, you can cool it,
You can heat it . . .
‘Cause, baby, I don’t need it . . .
Take your TV tube and eat it
‘N all that phony stuff on sports
‘N all the unconfirmed reports
You know I watched that rotten box
Until my head begin to hurt
From checkin’ out the way
The newsman say they get the dirt
Before the guys on channel so-and-so

And further they assert
That any show they’ll interrupt
To bring you news if it comes up
They say that if the place blows up
They will be the first to tell,
Because the boys they got downtown
Are workin’ hard and doin’ swell,
And if anybody gets the news
Before it hits the street,
They say that no one blabs it faster
Their coverage can’t be beat

And if another woman driver
Gets machine-gunned from her seat
They’ll send some joker with a brownie
And you’ll see it all complete

So I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’
Hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’
Every time I hear ’em sayin’
That there’s no way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin’ every day

Hey, you know something people?
I’m not black
But there’s a whole lots a times
I wish I could say I’m not white

Well, I seen the fires burnin’
And the local people turnin’
On the merchants and the shops
Who used to sell their brooms and mops
And every other household item
Watched the mob just turn and bite ’em
And they say it served ’em right
Because a few of them are white,
And it’s the same across the nation
Black and white discrimination
Yellin’ “You can’t understand me!”
‘N all that other jazz they hand me
In the papers and TV and
All that mass stupidity
That seems to grow more every day
Each time you hear some nitwit say
He wants to go and do you in
Because the color of your skin
Just don’t appeal to him
(No matter if it’s black or white)
Because he’s out for blood tonight

You know we got to sit around at home
And watch this thing begin
But I bet there won’t be many live
To see it really end
‘Cause the fire in the street
Ain’t like the fire in the heart
And in the eyes of all these people
Don’t you know that this could start
On any street in any town
In any state if any clown
Decides that now’s the time to fight
For some ideal he thinks is right
And if a million more agree
There ain’t no Great Society
As it applies to you and me
Our country isn’t free
And the law refuses to see
If all that you can ever be
Is just a lousy janitor
Unless your uncle owns a store
You know that five in every four
Just won’t amount to nothin’ more
Gonna watch the rats go across the floor
And make up songs about being poor

Blow your harmonica, son!

And one of my all time favorites: “I am the slime”

I am gross and perverted
I’m obsessed ‘n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I’m the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you can’t look away
I make you think I’m delicious
With the stuff that I say
I’m the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I’m the slime oozin’ out
From your TV set

You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don’t need you
Don’t go for help . . . no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

That’s right, folks . . .
Don’t touch that dial

Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin’ along on your livin’ room floor

I am the slime from your video
Can’t stop the slime, people, lookit me go

I am the slime from your video
Oozin’ along on your livin’ room floor

I am the slime from your video
Can’t stop the slime, people, lookit me go



Frank rules!

xx Dot

“So Fresh and so clean” Two new Dr. Dot Assistants

I am PROUD to introduce Kati, my new CT/ NY area Massage Assistant. Kati is as strong as she looks.

She is extremely educated in healing the body and not just humans bodies, she heals animals as well! Kati is a non smoking, no bullshit kind of woman. Punctual and honest, I feel safe to leave you in Kati’s hands.

Let me know if you need a treatment next time you are in CT or NY. Read all about her below:

My name is Katie and I am a nationally certified massage therapist. I am licensed in the states of New York and Connecticut. I have a private practice in Greenwich, Connecticut and lower Westchester County, NY.
I approach massage from an integrative perspective incorporating aspects of both eastern and western modalities into my massage sessions. I am proficient at Swedish/relaxation massage, deep tissue massage, shiatsu, reflexology, and Reiki level 1. I am currently in the process of earning my certification in reflexology. I am also certified in equine and canine massage.

   Music has been an integral part of my life. I have very eclectic tastes ranging from blue grass to jazz to punk to classic rock and most everything in between. I have toured with the Grateful Dead, been to most of the lollapalooza festivals, heard many amazing fringe bands in clubs, and seen my fair share of mosh pits. Perhaps the only thing I love as much as music is travel. I have toured North America, Europe, India, Nepal, and many islands. In the course of my travels I have really enjoyed experiencing the local music and culture.

   Dr. Dot’s massage business seemed like a perfect fit for me. It melds two of my favorite things, music and massage. I feel fortunate to be a part of her team.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Hello and greetings from Berlin!

I want to introduce Maren, a strong, talented Massage/Physio-Therapist from Hamburg. If you and your entourage are heading towards Hamburg, please let me know and I will have Maren healing you with her powerful hands in no time at all!

So folks, meet Maren

 and read more about her below-

cheers 🙂 

 

 Hi, my name is Maren. I am 27 and come from a small town near Hamburg, in Northern Germany.After College, I  completed my education courses with flying colors and I am now a registered Physio Therapist.

I moved to Hamburg and worked in a clinic as a Physio Therapist for a long time. I became bored and saw a chance to combine my two passions, Music and Massage. Now I work for a company that  produces music for body, mind and aerobics. I practice massage there and I am constantly quenching my thirst to learn by taking more courses. I do Lymph-drainage massage, Classic Massage, Sport and Recuperation Massage. I have also completed courses in Sport Physio Massage and Aqua-jogging. I am almost finnished with my Pilates course as well.

Two years ago, I was reading a sports magazine here in Germany and read an article about Dr. Dot. Then I went to her web site and was very impressed by her concepts and ideas.Since then I have seen Dr. Dot in several Talk shows.

I wrote to her and went to Berlin to do the Massage Audition in March 2004. She allowed me to massage her and prove how good I was. I am now a very proud member of the Dr. Dot Team and look forward to massaging you when you come to Hamburg.

 

Hi, mein Name ist Maren. Ich bin 27 Jahre alt und in Norddeutschland in der Nähe von Hamburg geboren. Nach dem Abitur habe ich eine Ausbildung zur Physiotherapeutin gemacht und mit Auszeichnung abgeschlossen.

Ich bin nach Hamburg-City gezogen und habe dort in einer Privatklinik  als Physiotherapeutin gearbeitet.

 

Mit der Zeit wurde es mir dort zu langweilig und ich habe die Chance bekommen meine beiden Leidenschaften , Musik und Massage miteinander zu kombinieren. Ich arbeite jetzt bei MOVE YA!, eine Firma, die Aerobic- und Body & Mind – Music produziert, und bin freiberuflich als Physiotherapeutin tätig. Mein Wissensdrang ist kaum zu stillen und ich bin immer dabei mich fortzubilden. Neben der klassischen Massage, mache ich Lymphdrainage, Regenerations- und Sportmassagen.

Außerdem habe ich Kurse in Sportphysiotherapie und Aquajogging absolviert.

Seit diesem Jahr unterrichte ich auch Pilatesstunden.

 

Vor 2 Jahren habe ich in einer Fitnesszeitschrift zum ersten mal über Dr.Dot einen Artikel gelesen. Daraufhin habe ich ihre Homepage besucht und war von ihrer Idee beeindruckt. Zwischenzeitlich habe ich immer mal wieder von ihr gelesen oder sie in einer Talkshow gesehen.

 

Nachdem ich sie nun in Berlin kennengelernt habe, sie massieren durfte und von ihr noch wieder dazugelernt habe, bin ich stolze Assistäntin im Team von Dr. Dot

So, as you can see, I have been busy taking care of business here in Berlin. The last two days were gorgeous here in Berlin, but I couldn’t enjoy them much being so ill. I have a bacterial lung infection – which I got on the dam plane here! (and the slipped disc is getting better with time). I am on anti-biotics now, so it will only be a few more days of this coughing and laying around like a handi-capped monk.

Jasmine is doing great, learning ‘Wish you were here” by Pink Floyd on guitar and kicking ass in school. She has a 13 year old boy friend now called Leon. I met him a few times already and I approve. Clean cut, preppie looking, tall and very cute. Also, very German. He doesn’t  go to the same school as she does, but lives fairly close. He doesn’t smoke and is super polite. Guess he turns 14 pretty soon.

Moving right along.

My manager and the President of that particular company that produces TV shows ( still can’t say which one) wants me to ask you this:

If you could buy some products of mine, from  my site, what would you buy? I know that sounds so AMWAY, but I have to ask. Once I get some replies, I can tell them and then I get a TV show, so do me a favor, drop me an email and tell me what you would want to see for sale.

I suggested the following: A Dr. Dot “How to massage” DVD and a “How to do your own make up like a pro” DVD, ( naturally they would be loaded with laughs and rock stars)

Also, several Massage oils, cremes and gels 😉   How about my own make up line? Clothing line ( comfy clothing, to massage in, do yoga in, roller blade in). Snotty bumper stickers, my love/sex books, rock star diary, special massage tables made for women with BIG breast and or a preggy tummy?

If you don’t know my email adress, it is: drdot@drdot.com

I would be grateful for any feed back and as I was told, this is the last thing holding them up for getting me a half hour show. Aparently, they make more $$ from merchendising ( like the pop and rock stars do) then the actual show. Ho hum, if that’s what it takes, give me a hand please.

I am staying here now until April 14th, staying longer than planned as usual. I was going to describe to you how last Friday went in that karaoke bar, but it was SO horrible and SO smokey, you wouldn’t believe me. You would get angry reading it, so lets just say fuggetaboutit.

I have been surviving on my Sex and the City dvds, I have all 6 seasons now, and they keep me laughing!

Love from Berlin

Dr. Dot

ps. The group Chicago is extremely under-rated. They are fabulous!!