Sorry NO photos

I have surfed around for hours in the new layout of the Blog and can not find any way to upload a photo or as Blog City suggested, a photo album, as in, “in order for me to show you one photo, you  have to create a new photo album for each new photo.”

They tell me if I am so unhappy with the Blog lay out to just get refund and leave it at that, but what they don’t understand is, I am happy when it is running correctly. I just want to be able to write and share my almost daily photos- 

That is not  possible right now, I have searched high and low for HOURS  to see any button or so that says ” upload photo” and there is nothing. Can someone out there in Blog City land tell me how to add a photo or photo album ( which I think is silly just for one photo) as I have so many new photos to show you but can not until it becomes possible on Blog City to add a photo.

Ho hum. I am off to Berlin next week for 19 days or so to visit Jasmine. I am sure I will feel some left over hate thanks to the Jew Bashing experience I had. The journalists there had a field day making the German guy who knocked me out to be the poor victim,  and me the bad one who wore the Star of David etc- I get hate mail from Germans every day about this bad press and hate crime case. They should get over it and see the light.

Oh, I gave up on the 5th Wheel, I called them and now they say ” Oh, your episode will for sure air on May 27th!” Hello?! Forget it, if you accidentally see me on the show, tell me how it was, otherwise ( to quote Eminem) ” I just don’t give a fuck!”.

(NOTE: I NEED “spell CHECK in my blog!”)

Going to show Marylin Manson’s tour manager around tonight, probably bring him to a HUGE karaoke birthday party and make him sing some KISS or something hard rock. I spoke to Arturo again finally and asked him “why the HELL do you dissapear like that?” and he said he is busy working on his book with Johnny Ramone. It is a book about the technical/buisness side of the Ramones career, not a peronal one. Like I told you, the further down south one lives in Manhattan, the more you have to go to them ( even call them).

I wanted to post a HOT photo I took of Sting’s trumpet player, Chris Botti, but like I said, I can’t do this now, and it is making me crazy!

This meeting I have next week on the 16th is so important and I am dying to tell you about it, but I have to keep it a secret until it happens, then I will purge in the blog and either celebrate the good news or whine and moan about the let down, but it is a BIG DEAL. Basically what I have been waiting for, say for YEARS! Cross yer fingers for ol’ Dottie would you?

I am off to jog, 6 miles or so,

” I don’t know but I’ve been told, if you never slow down, you never grow old”  Tom Petty

Dr. Feakin’ Dot

Quicke

Another wonderful night out in Manhattan. Excuse the non-photo blog again, but I got alot on my plate right at the moment, what with showing Rachel around etc. She had a falafel for the first time of her life today and bought a baby pink New York Yankees cap tonight. We tore up karaoke again and are up WAY  to late as usual.

A shout out of joy to Blog City administration for the now more modern version of Blog City and sorry for being impatient. For a while there was around 100 people per hour reading my blog so I felt a bit of pressure to write and a few days without writing feels like months to me. Rachel goes back to CT tomorrow, she should bring a few men with her, they seem to love her! She said ” it’s raining men here!”. A note to CT men, be nice, she said CT men don’t have the manners like NYC men. She didn’t have to buy one drink the whole time she was here and was being chatted up frequently. I told her, well, in CT or in any suburb kind of place, the men know there isn’t much competition and the women get used to being treated only “fair” but in the big cities, there is ALL kinds of competition and you have to be nice, friendly and fit to make it there, so people try harder at everything, and that is a good thing in my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, every area has its good and bad points, the city for example is not so nice for big dogs, jogging ( unless you are directly next to a park) blah blah, we all know what I mean. I just love it here in NYC, it ROCKS!

and now, a few lyrics from my hero, Mr. Frank Zappa:

“Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know you’re prob’ly gettin’ tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta try
A little friendly advice
And be a CREW SLUT
Hey, you’ll love it
Be a CREW SLUT
It’s a way of life
Be a CREW SLUT
See the world
Don’t make a fuss, just get on the bus
CREW SLUT
Add water makes its own sauce
Be a CREW SLUT
So you don’t forget, call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you
You never to get move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer prob’ly gettin’ tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what it’s like
To go from place to place
So, darlin’, take a little ride
On the mixer’s face
Be a CREW SLUT
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a CREW SLUT
Hey, you’ll love it!
Be a CREW SLUT
It’s a way of life
I ain’t gonna squash it
And you don’t need to wash it!
CREW SLUT
Hey, I’ll buy you a pizza
CREW SLUT
Of course I’ll introduce you to Warren
The boys in the crew
Are only waiting for you

At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time, borrow some of the big rock group’s equipment and have a blues jam session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they are endowed with a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. Obviously impressed with LARRY’S ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching little noises come out of it, MARY kneels again and reaches upward in gestures of supplication, listening intently as LARRY continues to sing…

Larry:
Well you been to Alabama, girl,
‘N’ Georgia too
‘N’ all the boys in the crew
Is bein’ good to you
I know yer sayin’ to yourself
‘This is the way to go’
‘Cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some mo’
`Cause you’re the CREW SLUT

Mary:
Eh, hah ha, I’m into leather…

Larry:
That’s good! A lot of the boys in the crew Love leather…

Mary:
And rubber…

Larry:
Yeh, they like rubber too…shrink-tubing
With a hair dryer…

Road Crew Chorus:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
And be a…

Mary:
Ha ha ha…

Larry:
You like that, huh?
I told you you’d love it…
It’s a way of life!

Road Crew Chorus:
The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
A present for me?

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry:
Hmmm, we got a present for you!

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
Whaddya got?

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah

Mary:
Whaddya gonna give me?

Road Crew Chorus:
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry:
It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
You’ll love it…

Mary:
With Leather?

Central Scrutinizer:
Eh errr, eh eh…This is,eh, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again…
And so Mary was enticed away from Joe
By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket
Lured into a life of SLEAZERY
With the entire road crew of some
Famous Rock Group
(I don’t know whether it was really Toad-O or not
…I don’t know… I’ll check it out)
Again we see
MUSIC
Causing
BIG TROUBLE!”

The Fifth Wheel lie

I now believe the 5th Wheel tells the contestants several false air dates just to get more people to tune in to watch their stupid show. I was told so many different times when it would air, now I don’t believe them no matter what. Oh well, no big deal. If you are really curious as to when it will air, call the 5th Wheel wankers and ask them: 1-323-954-9424 ask them when is the ‘5th Wheel episode number 537’ going to air.  They piss me off, tell them I said that.

My cousin Rachel is here visiting from CT, she has never been out on the town in NYC, so even though I am massaging Sting’s entourage and I am on call, I am still taking her around the city and showing her a good time. She is also a karaoke queen, in fact, she was into it way before I was, she is the one who got me into it, so it’s all her fault 😉

Gotta rest up for another day of touring the city with Rachel

xx Dot

’bout freakin TIME

Don’t even get me started about the vanishing of ‘Blog City’ for days at a time without a reason or apology. Don’t they know we NEED to blog?
If you are awake tonight at 1am ( NYC time) turn on the newtwork station near you that shows “the Fifth Wheel” show, as I was told tonight is the night they air my episode. They said that last night to, but didn’t pull through. I called today and whined about it and they said “sorry for the mix up, but for sure it will be on tonight” .

Hope it’s good.
Glad the blog is back-

Dr. Dot

Lil’ Kim being a Lil’ disgusting

I know she can afford underwear. I have to say, Lil’ Kim is by far my least favorite celebrity, hands down. I would rather stare at Michael Jackson’s face then hers. She has had so much plastic surgery that she doesn’t even look similar to her first album cover. She is, like Michael, also getting whiter. Lipo, new teeth, fake hair, fake eye colors, tit job, nose job, cheek implants, eyes lifted etc, she was so creepy to see at the Grammy’s. All that is nothing compared to her nasty choice of clothing, or lack of it.

Sure, we all dress hot sometimes, but shoving your FURRY Beaver in the crowds face while you are singing on stage is down right lewd. Why doesn’t she just do porn? I guess since Janet let her tit flop out at the Super Bowl, the shock bar has been raised, so in order to shock now, you really have to let it ALL hang out.

How to deal with Assholes

I was talking today to one of my best friends in the world, Andrea, and she told me that the father of her child is still being a cheap asshole and refuses to take any part of raising the child or give money willingly. I was telling her I think he is an ASSHOLE, ( he is from Iceland, so he is an icy asshole!) and I didn’t understand how anyone can just walk away from such a young angel:

Tara is Carmen; thanks to Prince

How many times is VH-1 and E! going to tell Carmen Electra’s life story and make PRINCE out to be such mean freak. He discovered her and bought her plastic breast, produced an album and video for her, it isn’t his fault that she couldn’t sing. Every time the story is told, Prince is the big bad short guy who controlled her and made her “sleep in full make up and sexy clothing” . Poor girl, makes me weep. Prince is a unique musical genius and she is lucky he discovered her; she should stop complaining about it once and for all. Had it not been for him, she would possibly still be just

Don’t leave us now, we love you Sex and the City! ;)

Was that good or what? My eyes swelled up at least twice. Glad Mr. Big came through and the nerve of the Russian guy slapping Carrie!! How are we to go on now without fresh Sex and the City episodes to look forward to? If you are not into the show, why not? Once you see one show, you are hooked. Thank goodness for DVD’s.

I can understand why Carrie took Big back, you can’t fight real love; it is overwhelming. And in the end, you should stay with who you have the best sex with ( if possible). Just like Samantha said “Who you are in bed, is who you are in life”. Are you wimpy? Quick? Polite? Boring? Selfish? a Pig? God I love that show.

Another note about passion, I watched “The Piano” the other night, starring Harvey Keitel. It was SO amazing!!! I am now a Harvey fan, I mean , I was before, but the way he played that role in the Piano blows ones mind (Not to mention how incredibly SEXY he is in this movie!). I strongly recommend this film if you haven’t already seen it. Awesome and it also proves, passionate love prevails.

It is almost 8am and I am still up, can you say “Sleep Disorder”?

“Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I´m thinking of
Oh oh can´t you see
Love is the drug for me”

” I got nasty habits” Rolling Stones

Bad habits? Oh, a few I suppose! It is almost 5am and I am not even close to tired. Just had chocolate mouse and just saw Jim Carey on the Conan O’Brien show, which was filmed in Toronto. Jim is out of this world funny, love that man!

I didn’t go to Letterman, I was invited and could have easily gone, but Alan sounded like he REALLY didn’t want to go due to his busy schedule: He just picked up Ron Wood from the airport and had to get him situated. Ronnie is in town for a few gigs, among them two with Rod Stewart. It is Alan’s job to get Ronnie and his wife Jo settled into the hotel etc, and Ronnie’s son, Jamie ( actually Jo’s son from a former marriage) is Ronnie’s tour manager, so he is in town too. I am on call for massages as usual but like to stay out of Alan’s hair and I could tell by his stressy tone that he did want to bring me, but wouldn’t mind if I cancelled.

It is this sixth sense of mine that has gotten me where I am today, you have to be able to read people, their voice, face, tone etc. Alan is mainly here in the city as Elizabeth Jagger is moving out of her flat, and Alan is here to help her store her things, so he has his hands full, as usual. He is around 63 years old and has worked for Mick over 30 years, starting out with the Stones at the very beginning, as Brian Jones assistant. I owe it to Alan for introducing me to the Stones in 1985 for the first time and then later having me massage them. So, I give him space and never crowd such folks. I called and cancelled this morning as I really didn’t feel all that hot anyways, and Alan sounded relieved ( as I predicted) and assured me we can see Letterman again in the near future, so it was a good call.

I had millions of things to do anyways, do you know some folks will do anything to get on the Dr. Dot team, it is so flattering and a good thing, the team is growing like a strong weed! A guy named Roddy contacted me a few weeks ago and asked about joining the staff and mentioned he is from London. At the moment, I don’t have any help in London, so I said sure, but you would have to massage me to join and show me your credentials, sign the contract etc. He mentioned he would be in town this very weekend (Thursday to Sunday) . So I set up the time for him. Little did I know, he flew to NYC JUST for this interview. Now that is ambition!

He massages soccer players at a sports club in London and has several diplomas, he is very impressive. I had him come over at 7pm last night and he massaged me for about two hours. It was wonderful. His dad is Scottish and mom is from Jamaica, so he has a nice color to him and loads of manners. Super organized, I thought for sure he is a Virgo, but he is a Capricorn. He told me when he told his wife and family that he was flying to NYC to massage a “Dr. Dot”, they all laughed and told him to have fun massaging a 70 year old lady, they all assumed that I was like a Dr. Ruth type, and that I must be super old. Does my name scream “Old timer”? . Hmmm. Anyways, he told me he showed them my web sites and his wife was like “WHAT?” but still , stood by him and gave him the nod to go for it. He not only flew here, but paid for a expensive hotel and all that, I must admit, he has courage, as what if I didn’t like his massage? He must have been very confident to take such a risk. But I can assure you, he is dam good and I am super hard to please when it comes to massage. You have to have hands of steel and be able to crush my shoulder knots and pinch me like there is no tomorrow, even he admitted

Late Night with David Letterman and the 5th Wheel show

Top Ten Signs You Should Get A Divorce

10. For Valentine’s Day he gives you a box of Pop Tarts and says, “If you need me, I’ll be at Hooters.”

9. The only thing you have in common is your hatred for one another.

8. You ask the guy at Hallmark where the “Controlling Bitch” section is.

7. You keep finding receipts for the guys she’s hired to kill you.

6. You still haven’t forgiven him for nailing that fat intern when he was a resident.

5. She brings a date to couples counseling.

4. You just married Liza Minnelli.

3. He won’t shut up about how great his secretary is in bed.

2. You sleep in separate beds in separate bedrooms in separate houses in separate states.

1. Her pet nickname for you — “Numb-nuts.”