Dr. Dot's Blog

The main difference that see between living back in the US to being in Germany, well, is honesty and porno nails. Of course, there are many many differences, but lets chat about the first one, caller I.D. The many Germans who read my daily diary may not know what that is, as they are just now getting it over there. 99.9% of Americans have caller ID, a system in their phones to show who is calling them, to give them the choice – do they want to chat to this caller or not. In some cases, I say , it is a good thing, but in others, well, I find it a cowardly way to deal with reality. Sure, if you are dating more than one person, caller ID is a must, or if you owe people money, etc. But I find that it makes it easier for people, who may already be superficial, to get yet, more cowardly. Why hide from people? Pick up the phone and be honest, say, “I don’t want to go out”, or “I don’t want to fuck you anymore”, or “I don’t have the money “, or “yes, dear, I am at the bar with the guys, and it is more fun than coming home rite now” . To me, this would improve our living standards, I hate cowards. yes, you could say, that is merely a way of being diplomatic, buy I call it being a FEIGLING, a wimp, pussy, sneak, spineless turd. Guess you could say all this fresh MASS air is clearing my head, or maybe giving me too much tim to think too deeply- but then again,I always think very complex, just never have time to write the shit down- but shouldnt some one adress this caller ID shit? Honesty may hurt, but it saves time. I have to admit, sometimes caller ID has saved my ass- “why should I answer that now, then they will know I am still home and not on my way” I think to myself. I prefer to be blunt and tell people what I think, and it feels so dam good. Or you could choose the advice my mom ( when she was alive) told me ” the best reaction, is NO reaction” perhaps the only good advice ( oh, and that men love subtle colors) my mom ever gave me. Hell, what about the old fashioned way of avoiding conversation- when an undesireable ( stop making fun of my spelling!) calls, just tell ’em “no thanks, or I dont want to talk to you” and hang up. Now that takes BALLS! Are we running out of balls people?? Are so many females ( myself included) on the PILL, that we piss out so many female hormones into the water, and we all drink it (filtered ) again and the men really are getting too many female hormones, so they lose their balls??? Hmmm- perhaps this explains the large amount of emails I get from people complaining their guy cant get it up, or keep it up. He drank too many gallons of female hormones. Also, I have a theory- now listen up: In Europe, they don’t have flouride in their drinking water- the German goverment doesnt allow it as it has been proven to weaken one’s will, makes you too influenceable ( thats why Germans are so fucking stubborn) BUT they never have trouble getting a hard on( read:stubborn pricks hee hee). They ( Europeans) also are not cut ( you know what I mean, CUT)-and I believe that uncut men last longer, get errections easier, it is just plain better( this info comes from interviewing millions of females and tons of my gal pals naturally). BUT on the downside, they mostly have bad teeth ( brown, crooked as hell- not a pretty sight). So, the Plus side of shagging European men- Harder, last longer.
Bad side to shagging European men: nasty teeth/breath sometimes they don’t clean under the hood and dick cheese builds up, hello!!!! ( this can cause cervix cancer in the woman if it goes on and on).
Now, so that the American men don’t flip out: They have gorgeous teeth thanks to the flouride in the drinking water and cleaner ‘tools’ as there is no hood to hide cheese under. Americans decided long ago, that men don’t clean often enough down there, so just cut the shit off at birth ( which is a dam shame really, shoulnt they just be taught from day one to pull it back and clean there? Tsk tsk, The unshielded penis becomes some what calloused, what, with all that rubbing amongst the trousers and boxers etc over the years(not to mention all the wanking!). The flouride, in my opinion, also makes it harder for the penis to get hard and stay hard. Why else would Eorpean men, who dont have flouride always be hard? Surely not due to the hairy ‘natural” women (hee hee ).
I am just generalising so don’t flood me with “my dick is always hard” emails. Perhaps we can all compromise. European men can start going to the dam dentist more and cleaning down there more often, and American men can drink imported – pure water, that has NO flouride in it, simply using a flouide toothpaste or mouthwash to get your fill for your nice teeth.Also, ( hey the ladies are writting me every day and complaining about this) : Drunk men are NO fun to shag.Always the same dam excuse isnt it ladies? “oh, I guess I had too much to drink, sorry” . What a waste. Why not just stay home and wank?? Don’t waste a girls time if you show up drunk for a date or drink too much on the date- and by the way, you girls, it is your fault if you bring a drunk guy home.
So, now onto the porno nails. Arent we over this look? I guess not, here in Wakefield, a tiny TINY town, there is about 25 NAIL salons, all run by Koreans wearing quasi gas masks due to the offensive fumes that come off of those platic fucking claws. How can so many ( not all) but many American women be so fucking FAT, but still have GORGEOUS fake nails? You would think, when they wake up, they would think, ok, most importantly, is to be fit and healthy, THEN I worry about the nails. Trust me ladies, men dont give a SHIT about your NAILS.( clean is sufficient!) These nasty nails are also the reason it takes for fucking ever to pop into Stop and Shop or CVS, as the cashiers always have 4 inch nails and can’t run the cash register properly due to the pointy extensions popping off of their hands. Poeple are starving all over the world, but hey, our nails look nice(!!??). I had them put on one time a few years ago for a photo shoot. I HATED every minute of it, first of all, I can’t sit still ( even now as I type, I am stretching my legs and wiggling all around annoyed) so it took what seemed to be 2 hours to get those fuckers on, it smelled so nasty my eyes were watering and nose was burning. Then my finger tips hurt all night, I had them on two days and went mental, I couldnt pick my nose or scratch my ass as freely as normal, it was hard to apply lip stick etc, and It honesty HURT my finger tips, and forget massaging! I had one massage appointment they day after my porno nails were plastered on and it was HELL. I tried to cut them off and then file them off and scrape them off, I was going insane. I went to a nail salon and begged them to get the remains off my nails. This was in 2000, and my pointer finger nails STILL are messed up, they never grew back fully. The things should be illegal. Not sure if you all know this, but my hands are now insured for One million dollars ( since one year). Hey, not mentioning any names, but some people have their ASSES insured, so it makes sense to insure my hands, what will all the massages and flipping people the bird all the time 🙂 I need them!
One more obnoxious theory before I try to go to bed ( its ONLY 4am).
Last night, when I was out in LYNN, MASS, I really got an ear full of the MASS accent, well, even better, the LYNN accent. There is nothing quite like that accent, I don’t know if any celebs that have this accent, it is so hard edged, unreal. when they say “CAR” it sounds like ” CAAAAA” . Every other word is “wicked” and it is just very entertaining for me to listen to them talk. This got me to thinking, was different accents and languages a ploy from good ol’ mother nature, to get men to spread their semen as far as possible? To avoid inbreeding ( monogloids?) Why do I come up with this shit? Please don’t say there isnt an accent out there somewhere that makes you hot. Isnt it sexy when you meet a French person, to hear them speak, or a deep Southern accent, its like , wow, exoctic, not from here, I must try some of that- or the best accent of them all, Brittish- oh gawd! Or Italian. And then there is many different dialects, I prefer the Nothern English to the Southern, Manchester/Liverpool just plain yummy. Northern irish? God help me when I hear that- its like music to the ears. It is the same here in the states, New Yorkers, Alabama, Mass, Maine, its all so different, so it makes people want to expreiment, even in their own countries. When I speak German, I have a Berliner accent, or so I am told when I go to Munich or Switzerland.
Just my theroy, doesnt mean it is true. Just makes sense to me, that flowers have a certain smell to attract bees and birds, people have different accents and -ew- smells. And what about blind people, perhaps mother nature thought, well, so that blind people dont get bored, I will make humans have different accents to keep the blind entertaintained too.
I want to thank all of the readers for putting up with my lack of photos – GRRRRR! its making me crazy. But perhaps my “vacation” up here in MASS is good for me.
Later peeps
MFG aus MASS.
Dottie

Wakefield Mass. is a gorgeous town, it is a clean, expensive, safe town with a HUGE lake in the middle of it, in which most of the towns folk power walk or rollerblade around everyday. There are swans and geese and lots of strange critters hanging around the water. I have been coming here since, let’s see, 1985(!). My favorite woman on earth lives here, I shall call her Mary. Mary has been like a mom to me, much more than my biological mom ever did. I have to repeat a phrase I have been saying my whole life, “you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your relatives”. So, if certain people in your biological family etc, let you down or have never been around or what ever the case is, it doesn’t ,mean you don’t have family, as you can build a new one, picking the people you chose to be around. We are all dealt a hand of cards when we are born so to speak, it is up to us to keep that hand or discard the crappy cards and pick up new ones that enhance our lives. This is what I do.
So, I drove with Jasmine two hours north today in a rain storm, from CT to MASS, listening to whatever Jasmine wanted to, and so she wanted to hear only ( and I SWEAR I let her choose) Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin. I have a lot of sound board tapes of live shows and when the studio stuff gets too familiar, well, we hear live stuff, tracks you can’t find in shops, they come from years of following the Grateful Dead ( over 300 shows) hangin out on the sound board and trading tapes with the sound guys and other Dead Heads ( name for fans of the G.Dead). The sound of sound board live tapes is the truth, if they sound bad, the band is shit, if they sound good, they are DAM GOOD, the proof is in the pudding. We heard Big Brother and the Holding company live 1967 from San Fran. Jimi live, 1968 at Winterland- amazing music. I love, and I mean LOVE to sing, hence the karaoke obsession, but since I have grown up around music, hearing Zeppelin, Beatles and Zappa from toddler age on, I am stumped ( presently, but who knows-) on how could I write music or lyrics, I mean, after hearing ” In search of the lost chord” (moody blues) or “Abbey Road” I think, why should I even bother, it can’t get better than what is already out there. Maybe song writting gets easier with practice, I mean, a year ago, I never thought I could sing, but now I win contests at karaoke clubs.
When I arrived at ‘Mary’s’ there was a package waiting for me, 10 copies of the cd/demo I recorded in Tappan Town NY 10 days ago, with my dear friend, owner of Chunky Productions, Micheangelo.
I recorded 5 Janis Joplin songs and Peggy Lee’s ‘Fever’ . I recorded them, and then we went out to a bar, and they had karoke! I sang 3 songs and found out I won the contest( didn’t even know there was one, only found out when I started to leave, the DJ, said ” dont go, I think you may have won”. Anyhow, I never got to hear the finished product. Until tonight. I popped the CD in and everyone here sat around listening and I was really pleased with the results. Ok, wise asses out there, this doesn’t , mean I will now try to be the next Britney! It simply means explore all areas of talent you want to, and do it the best you can. I LOVE J.Lo because she made it clear that sticking with one thing is boring, do it all and shine while doing so. Ambition, sucess, it makes me high, aim high folks no matter what you do, it feels great! I was just telling a wonderful person I met yesterday, how incredibly attractive and sexy ambition is, I find it such a turn off when people just settle, especially men.
Even if you have a simple job that you like, isn’t there a drive built into us all, that makes us want to be stronger, healthier, happier, more sucessful, or at least more creative? I can not relate with people who CAN do more, but won’t /don’t. If you got all of your limbs and you are healthy, there is no excuse to just coast through your life, passing time. I don’t get that.
I am writting on ‘Mary’s’ MAC computer, and now I have the old version of BLOG for some reason, there is not even the option to add images! When I get my ass back to NY, I will flood my bog with so many photos, you may get sick of them.
I get very relaxed up here, even though “massholes” (nick name NH/ME/CT/VT/RI gave to people from Mass.) are high strung, they are smart as a whip and love music. I clear my head up here, go for long jogs, skate my butt off and think, really THINK. What do I want to do? Comedy, Books, Sing, Massage and Make Over dvds, and keep helping folks with their love and sex problems- my favorite thing to do!
Some of you write to me and ask me why don’t I write about my sex/love life in my Blog.Come on people, what do you want for free? heh heh. No, seriously, my truth is much stranger then fiction, what really happens to me everyday- well, you all would not believe it anyways, and the people in my life shall enjoy what happens and be grateful I don’t post it up here. I just say, use your imagination. Do I look boring?
My friend Daniel and I both have something in common now, we both got rid of certain dead weight in our lives recently and it feels good. Not bridge burning, just a emotional house cleaning. You know, sometimes, if you have a busy life that is, one has to evaluate ones freinds and loose ends. If the people around you bring you down or try to make you feel insufficent or unloved, clean house!! move on. Nothing hasty, nothing mean, just delet that phone number or email adress if that person doesnt lift you or love you, life is short- think (1) Love only the people that love you back (2) Love/Friendship should be give and take, not just give give give. Do I sound too bitchy? mean? selfish? If so, you are too soft and will be treated like a door mat.
Ok, this self righteuous diva is out of here for today.
“Get it while you can baby!” Janis Joplin
xoxo MFG greetings from Wakefield
Dr.

For all of you who don’t know what burning bridges means, it means to cut contact with a friend or loved one, with a vengance, getting rid of someone in your life, hence, to ‘burn the bridge’ between you and that person. I, sadly, come from a family of stubborn bridge burners. You would think after the death of my mother ( she was only 47 years old) that relatives in this family would think, “hmm, I should have made up with Donna before she died, that bridge we burnt can now never be rebuilt” but NO, they don’t they keep on burnin’ em. Not mentioning ANY names, but there are a few that are ruthless, and think nothing of telling a reltaive to fuck off and die, and mean it.

I have to say, I am grateful for growing up in such an enviroment, it helped me become independent, knowing that you can depend on you and only you, helps me focus and stay strong, the unfortionate side to that is fear of intimacy ( I don’t mean physical intamacy either. Tough as nails, jaded, mean, ruthless, all words I have heard people call me. But didn’ they say that about Madonna and other super sucessful people? Didn’t even John Lennon say ” you have to be a bastard to make it to the top”.

So, I am still in CT, visiting my favorite Uncle, who allows everyone he knows to come over and use his computer, pool etc, he and his partner are very generous and open minded, but this attracts a lot of leeches ( people who take and take and TAKE). Cool, whatever, it has always been like that. He and his partner drove up to Maine, leaving me here with the dogs, still waiting for Jasmine to land at the airport which is 2 minutes from the house. My Uncle told me there would be two other gay friends of his coming and going as they please and not to pay any mind to it, also fine. Up until this point, I was very friendly with the guys, I have know one for many years, Tony( not a leech) and the other one, I don’t know so well, but I know he comes over everyday to use my uncles internet. He lives rents a aroom from a woman who lives next door to my Uncle. This guy, let’s call him Mickey, is about 39 years old. Mickey knows that Tony and I are staying at my Uncles house, as we all chatted in the drive way before we all went out in our seperate ways. MIckey told me about a place where he would be, they do karaoke there, so I went there, and he wasnt there, plus it was so smokey, I almost passed out when I went in. I left and went to another place, there isn’t much to choose from in Windsor Locks! Anyhow, around 2am, I headed home, Tony called me on my cell/handy to ask where I was, we were both heading home at the same time. We met in driveway, and talked about our adventures, then tried to get in the house, which was locked, and it is NEVER locked. All doors were locked, we yelled ” Mickey” really loud for a while and even called the home number- all lights on, no answer, so we started to panic. Tony went it back yard, climed over gate etc, and pushed th eback door in, it was locked ,but must be old or something as it went rite open, Tony walked into kitchen to see Mickey, who was shocked as HELL that Tony got it. He played dumb “was someone calling my name?” what the fuck ever dude! Then TOny let me in and Mickey went upstairs to break the bad news to the THREE guys he had somehow convinced to come over and hang out in my uncles ROOM with him. Naturally, I was mad and asked them all to leave. They all were drunk and barely dressed ( ew!) I told Mickey that I think he takes advantage of my Uncle AND the dogs were all locked outside at 2:30am, which is NOT the norm by the way, these dogs are spoiled to death and are usually sleeping on the bed with my Uncle by 10pm. I called my Uncle to tell him this and he was ‘two sheets to the wind” (BLAU) and didn’t believe Tony or I, because Mickey had already ran to a phone and lied to my Uncle that big bad Dot and Tony ganged up on him and he didn’t lock