Tag: and

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Help End A Bear Poaching Plague

America’s bears are facing a poaching plague. Increasing demand for traditional medicines using bear parts like gallbladders is fueling a lucrative black market — and poachers are targeting bears in the U.S.

Representatives Raul Grijalva (AZ) and John Campbell (CA) have introduced legislation that will help bears by banning the trade in gallbladders at the federal level. The Bear Protection Act will end a patchwork of state laws that create an enforcement nightmare and allows the illegal killing of bears to continue.

Tell your Representative to become a cosponsor of the Bear Protection Act today:

 Click  HERE   please

x 

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18th Annual Zappanale

‘ ‘

                                                                                                  ^ Napi primping for his performance

 Finally, a street named after Frank Zappa. I asked myself, “why, why Marzahn?” In case you didn’t know, Marzahn is a part of Berlin that is a tad dangerous if you are a foreigner. There are some neo-nazi’s lurking about still, if you know what I mean. It’s on the outskirts of Berlin and well, I would normally never, ever, go there. I found out though, why Frank Zappa street was born in Marzahn. 

The Orwo Haus is the reason. The Orwo Haus is the biggest recording studio in Europe and (some are sure) the whole world. 150 bands at a time can (and do) rehearse there daily. From the out side, it doesn’t look like much, no one would imagine what is going on inside. Well, you can read more about it HERE  if you want. Blah blah blah. 

< Harry

Napoleon (Napi) steals the show wherever he is. You gotta love Napi. Laughing

Around 3,000 people came from all over the place, on July 28th ( I know, this blog is long over due) to celebrate the unveiling of Frank Zappa street. Many bands played and headlining was Germany’s best Frank Zappa tribute band “Sheik Yerbouti” . Napoleon Murphy Brock joined them as their special guest. Nappi gets around 🙂

 

You can see many more pics from that event if you click HERE 

 

 

I was asked to join them for their Encore, a hot version of “I am the slime”. I was freezing my tits off. When I left my flat, it was steaming hot, so I wore open toed shoes, a skirt and t-shirt and even after 18 fucking years living in Berlin, you would think I would KNOW by now you have to literally drag a bag of clothes around with you as you never know how the weather will be/change.  Me= dumb-ass.

 

I was literally shaking from being so cold that by the time I was asked to come on stage and read a letter from From Frank Zappa’s brother, Bobby to the crowd, my lips were purple. But, like a trooper, nothing keeps  me from spreading the love and music  of Frank Zappa. Nothing.  

^ Robyn & Dot

 Another HUGE Frank Zappa fan ^ (I don’t mean she is huge, I mean, she is a big fan, well, you know what the hell I mean).

She flew all the way from the USA along with a tour run by a man named Scott.

They all came together for the street naming and the Zappanale.  

 

 

Like I was saying, NOTHING prevents me from preaching Zappa music. In Germany I am often invited onto talk shows and written about, as they find my career fascinating (so do I ). And every single interview I have ever done, since 1997, I have mentioned Frank Zappa. He crowned me “Dr. Dot” long ago, so that is usually how his name is mentioned “How did you come up with that name?” they ask. Then I tell them about Frank, how my Dad is a massive Zappa fan and how much his music means to me. His music is the BEST (well, I am also insanely into the Beatles, so it’s a tie). 

 

This is my new Zappa shirt ^ My pal Mark drew it and made it for me. I won’t mention were you can find him online as I have  a suspicion a certain family may not like Franks face being sold on anything without their approval. Sorry.

 

That man ^  in the above picture with me, is Thomas, the President of the Arf Society. What is the Arf Society you ask?

“Founded on the 20 March 1993, the Arf-Society is a
Frank Zappa fan club based in Northern Germany
with an international membership.”

It’s best you just click HERE to read all about them.  

 

Wolfhard K. actually founded the Arf Society but Thomas is the pres. since a few years (Wolfhard is a busy man). Wolfhard and Thomas are extreme Zappa fans and have been putting on the annual Frank Zappa music fest which they call the Zappanale. This year was the 18th annual Zappanale and they invited me to help out a bit and to join Project Object on stage for some fun. So I accepted and I will try to find the words to explain how happy I am that I went. 

 

Project Object (my favorite Zappa tribute band) ^

What’s missing from this picture? Ike fucking WILLIS, that’s what. Where was Ike? His name was on the posters, the tickets, the press releases. A driver was sent to pick him up in Berlin, all the way from Bad Doberan, which is a 3 hour drive. He did not get off the plane as planned. In fact, he never even bothered to get in touch to tell them he missed his plane.

Why would Ike miss his plane? Because he is having an unfortunate struggle with cocaine addiction. I am not leaking any private information here. Everyone who is hip to the scene knows this. In fact, just about everyone who has met Ike in the last few years, has lent him $50. Ike owes EVERYONE $50. It’s rather ironic that Ike, who was Frank’s right hand man for YEARS and his best friend, ends up a crack addict. Frank was shrewdly against drugs (well, cigarettes are indeed a drug too, but anyways..).

In my opinion, drugs suck. I have never tried cocaine and can’t stand being around people who take it or even talk about it. BUT I can imagine why Ike does this drug. Not making excuses for him, but imagine your best friend dying, how horrible that must be and then on top of it, having to sing his songs almost daily to a crowd of his fans. Frank’s shoes are impossible to fill, and being on the front line,  almost daily (well, nightly) singing the lyrics your best mate wrote must do your head in. It must be hell. Hell in paradise.

Making a living doing something you love is paradise, but in such a circumstance, it can be difficult. If you are sensitive (most artist are overly sensitive) then falling into such a trap, is understandable. Not good by all means, but I can see why it happens.

Fame, drugs, money, (or was it the music? ) heh heh. I just hope Ike gets help and fast. He could end up dying, like other artists have done, thanks to that pesky, overwhelming, addiction People should plan a huge intervention and toss him into Rehab. SO MANY famous artist are having trouble now a days. Amy Winehouse is throwing her fucking career in the toilet too, just like Ike is. It’s so sad. 

But anyways, with or without Ike, the Zappanale party went on. 

The first night ( Thursday) everyone meets and greets in preparation for the Zappanale party following the next day.

I LOVE that sweatshirt I have on. I got it in 1988 in Boston. It’s held up pretty well. It says “Broadway the Hard way” on the  sleeve.

So this was night 1. I was a tad tired, but knew I could handle the up coming 3 nights of partying. It was so fun to meet some of the Zappa-teers (huge Zappa fan organization) and see Nappi, Andre’ and the guys again.. 

Andre’, guitarist/vocalist and founder of Project Object with his sweet heart, Cheri. ^

Andre’ preaches Frank big time. He doesn’t earn jack shit touring with his band, he does it for the love of Frank’s music.  

This is the list of all the bands that played at the Zappanale ^

 

 

My hotel ^   it is really strange. There is no one at the desk all night, you could have a massive party in the living room they have off to the side of the lobby  and you could drag that party into your fucking hotel room and no one would care; completely the opposite of the uptight rules they have in Dublin where you can’t even have someone come up to your room to help you with your bags. You have to give it to the Germans, they are liberal Fother Muckers. 

   

The Park across from my hotel. I heard this is where the first ever Zappanale took place. But it got too big for it’s britches and moved to a huge field.. 

 

The town of Bad Doberan is clean, quaint, gorgeous and very tolerant of the annual Zappa festival.  

< Dressed for my “Mary” skit

I finally got to meet my pen pal. Andrew ^ and I have been corresponding online for years. He runs a UK Zappa news/fan web site called “Idiot Bastard Son”. He has intervied many of Zappa’s alumni and I did one for him too a while ago. He was as funny in person as he is online. But then again, most Zappa fans are intelligent, special  and funny, just like Frank’s music. 

  < Bass extraordinaire

 

Project Object were one guitarist and vocalist short ( Ike) but you would have never known it! They were fantastic! 

Don Preston , the man in the purple velvet jacket on key boards, was one of the high lights of the whole Zappanale. He plays with Project Object on tour most of the time, but is busy with many solo projects. I am sure he is over 70 as he is one of the original members of the Mothers of Invention.  

Project Object doing their thing ^ 

One of the few females at the festival was serving beer. I brought that plastic urinal with me, thinking they may not have anything to throw water on me when I play Mary. I got this urinal in a bar in Berlin called  Cafe’ Klo (Klo is a nick name for Toilet in German). Everyone drinks out of these urinals in that bar and you can buy them as well.  I don’t drink beer, but they do hold a lot of beer, so I made good use of it and kept my pals well watered with all of those unwanted beer tickets I was given..

This is Andrew’s pal Ian ^                    Andrew wore this ^ shirt, thinking Ike would be there.  

 Andre’ is a master on guitar ^  

 

This is not the first time I have played “Mary” on stage with Project Object. I like participating anyway I can. I asked them to learn “Valley Girl” so I can sing that with them next time our paths cross.

Here are the lyrics to the song “Fembot in a Wet T-shirt” in case you are one of those people who don’t know the album Joe’s Garage by Frank Zappa..

 

  Act I

SCENE FIVE
THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST

After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
Toad-O’s road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.
With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie…

IKE:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin’ ‘n’ dancin’ ‘n’ payin’
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they’re ready to party
“Cause the sign outside says it’s WET T-SHIRT NITE
‘N’ they all crave some Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They’re gonna get wet
‘N’ the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get ’em upset
‘N’ they all think they are Reety-awright
‘N’ they’re ready to boogie
‘Cause the sign outside says it’s WET T-SHIRT NITE
‘N’ they all crave some Pink delight
When the water gets on’em
Their ninnies get rigid
‘N’ look pretty bold
It’s a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it’s cold
‘N’all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin’ off tonite
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
And it’s WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!

At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and
bought a groovy sport coot and moved to Miami and changed
his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand
in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE…

BUDDY JONES:
Ah, thanks, IKE…
Yes, it’s WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
Here at The Brasserie… Home of THE TITS… huh huh…
And it’s the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals…
Hi,Mary…howya doin?

Having been fucked senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the
rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills…
confounded by his sport coat, she replies…

MARY: Hi!

Realizing that she no longer recognizes him… or even appreciates
the patient religious training he had given her in the past, BUDDY JONES,
like a true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person, proceeds to say various
stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself take longer, thereby
giving the mongoloids squatting on the dance floor an opportunity to buy
more exciting beverages. . . liquid products that will expand their
consciousnesses to the point whereby they might more fully enjoy the ambiance
of Miami By Night…

BUDDY JONES:
Where ya from?

MARY:
Ah, the bus…

BUDDY JONES:
Which one?

MARY:
You know…the last tour…
You know…
Leather

BUDDY JONES:
Oh.. .you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III…
why don’t you get in position now and take a deep breath, because
this water is very, very cold, but it’s goin’ to be so stimulating. And
Mary’s the kind of Red-Blooded American Girl who’ll do anything…

MARY:
Anything…

BUDDY JONES:
I said anything… for fifty bucks
That’s right!

MARY:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!

BUDDY JONES:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed… that’s right,you
heard right… our big prize tonite is fifty American Dollars to the girl with
the most exciting mammalian protruberances…

MARY: Here I am!

BUDDY JONES: …
as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male
person’s conservative kind of middle-of-the-road COTTON UNDER-GARMENT!
Whoopee! And here comes THE WATER!

MARY:
EEEK!

BUDDY JONES:
No, you’d squeak more if the water got on you …sounds like you just got an
ice pick in the forehead… AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD…
a million laughs, Mary! Anyway; good golly, what a mess…she’s totally soaked..
totally committed to the fifty bucks.. .That’s it just step into the spotlight.. let the guys
get a good look at ya honey!

MARY:
Here I am!

BUDDY JONES:
Whaddya say, fellas?
Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how’s about shakin’ it around a little…

BUDDY JONES:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!

MARY:
Oooh! I’m dancing!
I’m dancing!

BUDDY JONES:
Ain’t this what living is really all about!
Here’s your fifty bucks, Mary…

MARY:
Oh great! Now I can go home!

BUDDY JONES:
Home is where the heart is.

MARY: “On the bus!”

 

That water was fucking freezing, so the look of shock/horror is authentic. heh heh.  

<  “ Oh great! Now I can go home!”< “with leather?”

The headliners of the whole Zappanale ^.

I haven’t seen Chad since 1988!! He is so shy, so soft spoken. SO SWEET!!! His whole band is sweet in fact. I loved hanging out with these guys. They played an all instrumental set. No Zappa tunes at all, although at certain points you could hear a tad of a Zappa riff, like they were teasing us. They were brilliant. I suppose everyone was expecting them to whip out at least one Zappa tune, but they didn’t. 

Perhaps Chat wants to stay on Dweezil and Gail’s good side. At least now they can’t bitch at them for playing any Zappa music! 

 

Oooh they sounded like butter. Lovely! x 

 

^ you can see from his smile how sweet and genuine he is

 

 

Eric Slick ^ plays drums with Project Object. He is a genius (started playing drums at age 2 🙂

His Mom, Robin Slick, is a famous writer. Check out her blog HERE  

 

The English band, Monty and the Butchers ^ were soooooo fun to hang out with. A million laughs indeed.  

 

Jorg, the film director, who happens to be holding the mic, films each Zappanale. They make a dvd of each Zappanale. They interviewed me for the dvd. I was obnoxious as usual.  

I was lacking sleep, which I really really need right now, as I am literally running on fumes. My tonsils are beyond infected and I was told a year ago they have to be removed but I never find the time, so I have been living on antibiotics and feeling like shit for about two years. I know, it’s stupid. A vicious cycle, but I just never find the time. So if I get less than like 7 hours of sleep, I feel dizzy, sore throat, all that wimpy shit. I was devastated when I was told I had to be up and ready for an interview on stage Saturday at noon. I know this sounds like a diva talking but it’s not. I am just a night person and seldom fall asleep before 7am. Hard habit to break at such short notice 🙂

Jim Cohen, who has been the host for a few years at the Zappanale, was to interview me Saturday at noon. He does a representation each year on the Saturday of the Zappanale  (the Zappanale always takes place in the first week of every August fyi) . He interviews guests and talks in great detail about Frank Zappa. He is a walking encyclopedia of Frank Zappa trivia/facts/info. 

I was there, on time, and went through with the interview. I did most of it in German as it takes place in Germany, but said somethings in English too for the English speaking audience. What I am getting at, is this weekend is a marathon. You won’t be resting, you will be ON the whole time, partying, talking, laughing, dancing and by the end of the weekend, you won’t have a voice anymore. I swear I am still hoarse from the festival and it was a few weeks ago. Found that out the hard way last night at karaoke.  

 

 

Eric Svalgård  ^

The other Eric of Project Object and I signing the symbol for the Arf Society.  

 

Monty and the Butchers hamin’ it up during the grand finale’  ^

 

The crowd (above) and the sound men ( are nice guys, but have to work while everyone else is raising hell, hence the glum faces) 

 

 Chad and Andre’ ^

Don and I discussing his amazing threads his wife sews for him. What a sweet heart! ^ 

 

 

Christian ^ was my driver for the whole festival. The Arf Society was obviously trying extra hard to please me 🙂

 

 Musician soup ^ …………. backstage at the Zappanale was heaven on earth

Hasi ^  a Zappateers member, from Austria and I in the Zappateer tent. This tent is out in the camping area at the Zappanale festival. Everyone in the camping area pretty much parties straight through, with no sleep, from Thursday to Monday morning. It is a non-stop Zappa themed party. The Zappateers tent is the center of it all. I was welcomed with open arms and even knew a few of the people hanging out in the tent.. It was super fun, but I had to hang backstage most of the time, as they had tiny tasks for me to do. 

 

What are the Zappateers? ” The Zappateers are dedicated collectors of Zappa live shows.”

It’s best to click HERE to read more about the Zappateers.. 

 

These two lovely gals ^  know every word to every Zappa song and I love them. They were a fixture in the Zappateers tent and later on stage for the Grand finale too. They are seriously dedicated Zappa fans. They are also big Project Object fans… YES! x 

 

Sunday when I woke up, I thought, “FUCK THIS!” I am too tired to go to the Zappanale grounds again. I thought I would just sleep all day and hide until my ride took me back to Berlin. WRONG ANSWER. Thomas, the president of the Arf Society called and said “where are you hiding!?? We need you on stage at 9pm!”  Eh? I thought my work was done. Guess not. So I dragged my ass out of bed, well, off the floor as I always sleep on the floor in hotels, as I am a walking sleeping disorder. 

Painted my face a bit and tried to get motivated for yet another night of partying. I am only used to going out like once a week, sometimes once a month. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t go out much at all. I am a hermit. It looks like I go out a lot because I blog about it every time I go out. I can only handle two drinks and hate smoking so I am a light weight and need a day to recover when I party (I have always been that way, so don’t laugh to yourself as you say  “it’s called getting old” under your breath). I have always been a light weight. sigh. ANYHOW, where the hell was I?

Oh yes, my lovely driver came and basically had to pry me out of my room as I was really dragging my ass by Sunday. But like magic, once I set foot on the Zappanale grounds, I woke up like a freshly watered flower.  

 

So, I was wondering, what was my chore of the day? Why was I needed on stage at 9pm? Another Wet T-shirt thingy? A massage for Chad? Was I entered into the Zappa trivia game without my knowledge?  

 

< Napi

Um, I know he works for the Zappanale, I think he is the director of transportation but don’t quote me on that, but at any rate, that is Napi posing with a man I think may be Hendrik.  Surprised  (Lets play “name that German!”)

 

Chad & Andre’  ^

 

 

Kurz, Italian Frank Zappa fan and musician (he let me draw that stache on his face 🙂


   

 

 

I was attacked by a sharpie pen ^ 

 

Naturally after 3 nights of camping, the Zappanale guests, artist, campers and workers started to smell a bit. I mean, it is hot, humid, dusty.. everyone is sweating and drinking.. you get the picture. I had a close wiff of Matthews (bassist/vocalist/founder of Monty and the Butchers)  underarm. Me likey. I LOVE the smell of a man’s sweat. Fuck deo and perfume and show gels. I want to smell the MAN, not the fucking brand. Nothing I hate more than a man wearing perfume, cologne, aftershave, deo etc. I want to smell the truth baby!

Well, it’s only fair…    ^ 

Sunday night, we were ALL TOAST. I couldn’t believe that Monty and the Butchers hadn’t seen the Zappa statue of Bad Doberan yet!

The drivers brought us there and we had a little photo shoot. The one with the glasses (passed out) is Joe. he plays horns some times for Project Object. What a laugh that night was! 

 

 

Me posing with the Zappa statue. There was a LOT of controversy surrounding the statue. Gail Zappa didn’t approve it and is still not happy about it. The Arf Society had to fight tooth and nail to convince the town of bad Doberan to even allow the statue to be erected there. All the drama!! It’s so sad how everyone  behaves after an icon dies (James Brown, Zappa, Elvis, John Lennon, etc).I hope to fuck the dead idols are looking down, watching the behavior, keeping tabs….

I want to close this now and mention once more, how AMAZING the Zappanale was. I will be there for sure next year. This festival has been going on 18 years, and I hope it keeps going on for many more years. It has a special vibe to it, so much love for Frank, so many cool people, so much fun!!!!!!!!!!! The area is amazing too, it’s magical, in fact I couldn’t think of a better place to have such a wonderful meeting of minds. Thank you Arf Society for the lovely time, I will never forget it.

x 

ps. If you haven’t seen them yet, I made 3 videos (well, one long one, broken up into 3 bits) of my Zappanale experience.

Click the links to see the videos:

 

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3 

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Ask Dr.Dot (Cougar trend/ condom battle/ Al the ass-man)


Q.
Why do all the best men end up with bitches? My husband and I have a male friend who is the
perfect guy; he’s handsome, has money, is smart, ambitious & treats women perfectly. Over the
 last 5 years I’ve seen him be screwed over repeatedly. He attracts moody, selfish women; of
course in the beginning they’re nice. Quickly the worm turns & they mistreat him. This guy is
a very confident, successful business man. It pains me to see such a great man wasted. All
these bitches use him like a credit card. Double dates kill me! It’s not fair because some of
 my girls swoon over him but he’s always taken by some slut and of course being the man he is
he is very loyal, doesn’t flirt. Should I intervene?
Meddling Mary

A.
Ever heard the term "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"? A lot of men LOVE to be treated
like that. It turns them on. It's a challenge. I am not defending the woman you are
moaning about, I'm trying to remain neutral here. You say they are usually "sluts". Hmm, I wonder
 what could possibly keep him around? Dirty, hot sex perhaps? Women who have the upper
 hand are usually very confident, and that’s a huge turn on for most men. Not all men
want an agreeable, good girl. As hard as it may be for you to witness, that is what he
chooses and one can not change a man. Maybe someday he will get tired of the demanding
 divas and snap up one of your "girls" but I wouldn't hold your breath or get involved.
Count your blessings you have a blissful marriage and that
you’re out of the dating game.

Q.
I'm getting divorced after 22 years of 'bliss'. My wife and I are like oil
and water. I haven't changed since she met me.  I’ve the same
interests; the most important one is a need for a loving sexual bond with my mate.
 I'm very physical. She’s never been, though at first she put on a good act.  She prefers
 intercourse more than anything else, and loathes oral.  Very rarely in our years together
 has oral sex been something that she wanted; to give or receive either! All my other
 girlfriends before her, including my first wife who could cum at the drop of a hat orally
 and otherwise, loved the way I licked their pussies.  My nickname is "Spock" because
my ears had been pulled in ecstasy so many times. I recognize that there is a technique
 that most men really can’t master. This is what I’ve been told by dozens of women over
 the years.

From the many articles I've read on the subject, it seems that often times, women who are
self-conscious about the way their box smells are typically the ones that hesitate to have
 their lovers go down on them for fear of grossing them out. I guess since taste is about
 75% smell, they also figure that their pussy tastes bad as well. I LOVE the way pussy smells,
 tastes, looks, feels and even sounds!

That old joke 'once you get past the smell, you've got it licked' never made sense to me.
I totally love inhaling the scent of a woman! As I said, it adds to the sensuality.  I don't
think it has a damn thing to do with cleanliness.  In fact, the inside of a woman's pussy is
typically cleaner than the average mouth, when it comes to bacteria.  

Bottom line question: in your experience, how common is it for women to loathe their
partner practicing cunnilingus on them, and why?

Bobby Brown (“watch me now, I'm goin' down.”)

A.
Licking pussy is like a lap dance for your taste buds? Lovely. But if your partner
doesn't like it, you can't force her to spread 'em. Most women do enjoy it, the first few
months, but may grow a bit bored of the same old thing; even if it's heavenly genital licking.
 I am well aware of the fact men couldn't
imagine getting bored of head, but women can. If sex becomes routine, women tend to get a
"headache" or a mysterious second period that month. I hope you aren't divorcing her just because
 of her lack of sexual appetite, as that same thing can happen with other,
women as well. If your mind is set on divorce, try to avoid getting married again and/or living
together with a woman if you thrive upon a sizzling sex life. I don't give a FUCK how hot
you/they are, seeing someone ALL the time, sex will get boring and even spectacular oral becomes
 routine. Marriage and living together are so overrated and old fashioned. Sure, it's good for
raising kids and trimming your taxes, but even that can be done successfully while living
 separately. It all depends what your priorities are; family, sex, free time, money, etc. It’s
 hard to have it all and as cliché as it sounds, absence still makes the heart (and genitals)
grow fonder. Last but not least, some women simply don't enjoy having their twat licked out.
Some prefer to give and feel guilty getting pleasure and some ladies are too nurturing and kind
to tell their partner "I've got a spot that gets me hot, and you ain't been to it!"

Q.
I am recently divorced after a 25 year marriage.. During the entire 25 years,
I (we) never used a condom. I now find myself 'suddenly single', and the women I've
encountered insist on a condom. I completely understand the necessity of their use.
However, I just can't seem to move past the awkwardness and loss of sensation with their
use. In fact, I hate them!  Any suggestions?
Withering Willy

< Jimi Hendrix's cock, immortalized in plaster, thanks to Cynthia Plaster Caster

 Jimi found a way to reman hard forever

A.
No one likes them, not even us girls. Have the lucky lady suck on you while you unwrap
the condom. Say "do us a favor darling and keep me in your mouth while I wrestle with
this thing", make it fun and they will. Hopefully she will give you good head while you
get it ready, then quickly slip it on and slip in her as fast as you can.
It would be best to give her good oral, no, GREAT oral before the condom is even mentioned,
to make sure she got her fun before you possibly loose the nerve. If you go soft while
wearing the condom, try to make her cum with your mouth or hands and then wank off
onto her breasts or face…It may take time to train him to get used to the ol' wet
suit again I'm afraid. Find a girl to be monogamous with and perhaps you can ride bareback again.

Q.

My son is 21 and he is dating a 38 year old woman. She looks great for her age; very
youthful and she is fun, and I understand why my son loves her, but I can’t help but
wish she would just disappear and let me boy enjoy his youth. Should I just ignore this
potentially hazardous relationship or try to wake him out of this puppy love?
Mrs. Robinson

A.
When a person is 21, they can and will do whatever the fuck they want. You can buy him a
copy of the film Harold and Maude and hope he get’s your point, but as long as they are
both happy why make waves? The more you mention it to him, the more you will drive him
towards her. He has many years to experiment and fool around; she should be the worried
one, not you nor your young ripe son. Rather than trying to fight the Cougar trend, try
to love him unconditionally like a parent should. What will be, will be.

Q.
Ok, here is my problem. I love women. I love women a lot. Maybe too much. The problem is
that most women can only get me excited one time and one time only. I look at them completely
different as soon as the act is finished. I don't even want to ever talk to them again.
I feel horrible. Like I am a bad person. I am 40 and see no sign of slowing down. Any
idea why I feel this way? Am I a fucking asshole? Am I a freak?
Johnny Apple-seed

A.
I feel the same way sometimes. You aren’t a “bad person” in fact being “fruitful and multiplying”
is what being a man is all about, genetically. I am sure a lot of people feel that way,
maybe not to that extreme, but a tad, it’s just they can’t do much about it, as relationships
and social responsibility renders the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ routine. As long as you are
completely up front with your conquest before you dive in, and they are cool with your motto,
why beat yourself up over it? Maybe someday you will meet your match and fall in love. Hopefully
 you are using condoms as you could get a nasty unpronounceable disease and/or knock someone up
which would surely slow you and your unquenchable appetite down.

Q.
In one of your recent columns, you told a girl to avoid anal sex if she was against it. I think
she should try it, I know a few bitches that let me fuck their ass, and they don’t mind. Don’t
be so close minded. Anal is great.
Al the Ass-man

A.
I am thrilled that your bitches put up with you pounding their asses, now I can sleep soundly.
I told “Exit only Alice” to avoid letting her persistent boyfriend screw her in the ass if she
was against it. Had you took the time to read it thoroughly, you would have seen she was afraid
and against the idea. I don’t see how men who haven’t tried receiving anal sex can be appropriate
pro-anal cheerleaders. Have you ever been fucked in the ass Al? If so, did you like it?
Did it hurt? Come on, don’t be so close minded. Anal is “great”. Wouldn’t want you missing out on
any of the “fun”.

 

 

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen weekly at:

WWW.NYPRESS.COM

and   www.nyrock.com

and www.exberliner.com    

 

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Juliette Lewis and the Licks are on FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I know, it has taken me 6 days to complete this blog, but I am dam busy- hard to believe I know. No matter, the sweet taste/smell/sound of Juliette and her Licks are still fresh in my mind. Honestly, I had only heard that she has a band a year ago in NYC, my Jewish friend, Seth Abrams, who is very good friends with the band H20 told me about Juliette and the Licks, that they were playing in NYC and he wanted to bring me but at the last minute, it fell through, blah blah, apparently it was sold out as fuck and I couldn't be bothered to try to work/con/beg my way in, so I missed the show. Seth said it was amazing and I now know that was an understatement. I formed my band just this past April and was told by a few that I remind them of Juliette and I hadn't seen any of her videos or even heard any of her songs. Now that I have seen/heard her, I though "fuck it, why even bother! I will just throw in the towel right now, no point in even trying". This woman RULES Rock and Roll (and even Punk). She does stuff on stage I wouldn't dare do, things I couldn't do, things David Lee Roth did in his prime, things Iggy Pop tried to do. "She will rock you" (see the Rolling Stone  magazine cover she graced).

 

When I showed Juliette this picture I printed out for her to sign ^ I said "I hope your band isn't upset that I just have a picture of you instead of the whole band" she smiled and said "oh please, they are SO used to 'the Juliette show' ". She is sooooo funny, I was laughing my ass off the whole night..

I massaged some of the band before Juliette even arrived. They were on a tiny Promo tour and were already all knotted up, tired and stressed out. They are NOT getting special treatment, they are paying their dues like all bands do. Living on 3 hours of sleep a day, riding  in buses instead of sleeping in hotels and yes, barely getting paid.

I know Juliette from her films, From Dusk til Dawn, Hysterical Blindness (my favorite), What's eating Gilbert Grape, California, Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear, etc etc…she has done about 50 films in 8 years, I think she is a work-o-holic. It seems she has just put the movie star career on the back burner to focus 100% on the Rock star career. It was a big risk and for the life of me, I can't think of another actor/actress that has done it successfully, but she is on her way to being the next  female icon. I won't dare compare her to Janis Joplin, as Juliette is of course hotter, very modern, very very flexible and she stage dives, head first, then crowd surfs without fear, something Janis nor any other female rock/pop star has done, to my knowledge. She flirts with the audience sometimes in between songs and everyone, even females, melt.

She couldn't have chosen a better band to back her,  they are tight and in person, are super cool, no attitudes, no ego's just great musicians  (oh, they are all hot too, but that's besides the point completely).

     

Set list ^

This is Todd, formerly of H20 (just google it ok?). Seth lives or lived in the same building as Todd ^  in NYC. Todd is calm, cool, collected and extreme eye candy. The band has her back, the click so well together.

Kemble, is also extreme eye candy ^ , is very polite and friendly and WAILS on guitar!

The drummer is fairly new, not sure why they changed drummers, but this one learned all of their songs in 3 weeks. His name is Ed ^ and he is from Austin, Texas. I totally kicked his ass; wonder if he could move properly the next day.. but he needed it. Drummers always need deep tissue massage, more than anyone else in the band…

 < Kemble in action

I did get a new camera – a bigger and better Sony cyber shot with 7.2 mega pixels, but still, it's not the best camera for onstage shots.

The band came out in full force and never let up. They had the crowd going mad, they were slam dancing so wildly that even I was getting crushed and tossed around and I was waaaay up front on the side near the amplifier (my ears are still ringing). She brings out the crazy fucking Indian in you, she makes you want to play, get sweaty and just ROCK.

It must have been hard when she first started out with her band, I can imaging the critics bashing her before she even started "oh great, another star wanting to change careers". But I am sure they have eaten their words now, as if you hear her sing, you can't imagine why she ever chose a career doing anything else. Even if being a Rock star for a while was a role she wanted to try out, she has become THAT rock star, she IS the REAL DEAL.

I imagined since she is such a well know movie star that she would have a big hair and make up crew on tour with her, body guards and personal assistants to grant her every wish. I was dead wrong. She has NONE of those. Paul, the tour manager, takes good care of her. He, by the way, multi tasks, he does tour/production and personally catches her when she is done body surfing. Juliette is lucky to be surrounded by so many great people who all care about her and want to help make this Rock and Roll journey work like a charm.

 

 

^ If you watch closely, you will see Paul (big blonde man) helping Juliette after her crowd surfing

Juliette spoke to me while we all had dinner in the catering room as if she knew me for years. She makes you feel welcome and comfortable. Actually, she is pretty much exactly how I imagined she would be, similar to the role she played in "What's eating Gilbert Grape". Laid back, FUN, cute as hell and sexy without even trying.

Everyone is drawn to her and her irresistible charisma. She is NO DIVA, she is the opposite, a pure rock chick , running around without any make up, worn out jeans and an old YES concert t-shirt on, before and after the show. She wanted her scalp and feet done before the show and when I was doing her feet, she said when her band makes it big, and she can afford me, she wants to bring me on the road to massage her every day. For me, that is the biggest compliment *sigh*.. I am still purring. I did warn her that she would want to marry me when she tried my foot massage. She was really loving it (note to men: I TOLD you, ALL women want is their fucking FEET DONE properly, so get busy).

After the show I massaged her again… she was really ill that night, a cold and living off of 3 hours of sleep over the last few days.

She still looks amazing in my opinion, not that she cares, she is SO not into the whole hair and make up thingy. She carries her own bags and didn't make any demands at all.

The band did a rather long meet and greet after the show even though they were dead tired. She posed with people for pictures and signed loads of autographs like a champ.

Watching her and seeing how much work this REALLY involves ( I have seen it for years, but watching her do it from scratch was different). I really saw first had what it takes to keep a band going, it's SO MUCH WORK, it actually turned me off wanting to take my band to the next level. Touring is HELL and it takes so much out of you. I felt sorry for the whole band and wish I could have gave them SLEEP as a present on top of the brutal massages. I over heard her mention that she just turned down a HBO series, which would have been amazing for her career, to keep working with her band. She said "I'm gonna ride this thing until the fucking wheels fall off!!!". Now THAT is Rock and Roll.

Their two month tour started yesterday (see the dates below) and if they are heading to a town near you, please go check them out, you won't believe your eyes and ears.

These pictures are from their myspace page  ^   you can hear my favorite song of theirs American Boy on there…check it!

Sep 26 2006 8:00
 Concorde 2 Brighton
Sep 27 2006 8:00
 Astoria London
Sep 28 2006 8:00
 MDH Manchester
Sep 29 2006 8:00
 Leadmill Sheffield
Okt 2 2006 8:00
 Rescue Rooms Nottingham
Okt 3 2006 8:00
 The Village Dublin
Okt 4 2006 8:00
 ABC Glasgow
Okt 5 2006 8:00
 Metropolitan University Leeds
Okt 8 2006 8:00
 Backstage Werk Munich
Okt 10 2006 8:00
 New Estragon Bologna
Okt 11 2006 8:00
 Rolling Stone Milano
Okt 12 2006 8:00
 Usine Geneva
Okt 13 2006 8:00
 Cooperative de Mai Clermont-Ferrand
Okt 14 2006 8:00
 Vents Des Suds Toulouse
Okt 16 2006 8:00
 Sala Apolo Barcelona
Okt 17 2006 8:00
 Sala Arena Madrid
Okt 18 2006 8:00
 Kafe Antzokia  Bilbao
Okt 20 2006 8:00
 Trabendo Paris
Okt 21 2006 8:00
 Den Atelier Luxembourg City
Okt 22 2006 8:00
 Uebel & Gefaehrlich Hamburg
Okt 23 2006 8:00
 Pumpehuset Copenhagen
Okt 25 2006 8:00
 Folken Stavenger
Okt 26 2006 8:00
 John Dee Oslo
Okt 28 2006 8:00
 Trädgårn Gothenburg
Okt 29 2006 8:00
 KB Malmo
Okt 30 2006 8:00
 Debaser Medis Stockholm
Okt 31 2006 8:00
 Platensbar Linkoping
Nov 4 2006 8:00
 Palladium Warsaw
Nov 5 2006 8:00
 Roxy Prague
Nov 7 2006 8:00
 Coccon Club Frankfurt
Nov 8 2006 8:00
 Gloria Koln
Nov 9 2006 8:00
 Starclub Dresden
Nov 10 2006 8:00
 Riff Bochum
Nov 11 2006 8:00
 Karlstorbahnhof Heidelberg
Nov 13 2006 8:00
 Paradiso Amsterdam
Nov 14 2006 8:00
 Solus Bar Cardiff
Nov 15 2006 8:00
 Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth
Nov 16 2006 8:00
 University Newcastle

My friend (right) Fabi and his girlfiend (left) are soooooo smitten with Juliette. They begged me to introduced them. Fabi helped produce

a song for my band and he is super cool, so I did. This picture cracks me up, it looks like Fabi is punching his girl in the face. lol.

I took this shot of the band just minutes after they got off stage.. Juliette is so low maintenance, so naturally beautiful.

^ Jason, the bass player is the only one I didn't get a solo picture of, he was really busy with his new lap top, and I came to this conclusion about Rock stars, Lap tops are

the main reason modern day rock/pop stars stay out of trouble now a days. They now have something constructive to do before and after the show, surf online, mainly on myspace.com. Whereas years ago, before the internet / Lap tops were so popular and easy to get, the artist would be bored out of their minds on tour, as they are only on stage for 2 hours, what the FUCK else do you expect them to do the other 22 hours? No wonder Jimi, Janis, Keith, Jim and co. all partied too hard, it's fucking boring waiting around for show time. So in some perverted way, the internet has saved Rock and Roll. Amen.

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Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

 I started dating a younger guy, he is 26 and I am 30. We decided to see each other occasional for only sexual activities. I really like him because he is a very handsome man. The first time we made love, it took only 2 minutes for him to cum. The second time the same thing and his penis is only about 5 inches long. Why he does cum so quickly??? This doesn't give me a chance to cum too….please answer! but he becomes erect so quickly with me…no problem on that side. PS: It is because his penis is not bigger or he doesn't like me?

 

A.

Sounds like he cums so quickly because he doesn't care about you, just his little cock. The size of his penis has nothing to do with his stamina. Obviously he likes you a little bit otherwise he wouldn't be dogging you. He is young and selfish. Make him lick you until you cum, then let him fuck you, get your priorities straight.

Q.

 My wife and i have been together since 1989. we were having wild hot sex almost every night . She would always cum a couple of times before i'd fill her up.Then last year i found that i did not feel as horny around her (she looks great and has a firm body) . seems that i always have to be the one to make the first move and if i don't initiate sex then there probably wont be any. I am becoming flustered by always having to be the ONE start the ball rolling and sometimes when were having sex its like ho-hum didely dum .but whats worse is that now my cock hardly ever gets real hard and alot of the time it goes soft long before either of us are pleasured . and the more i thing about the fact that it may go soft … the faster it happens . this has become an obsession with me now . I ve got Viagra from my Doctor but with a small dose my cock still went soft … any ideas on how help me regain my stiffness would be greatly appreciated 

Big Softie

 A.

 Notice how the sperm race towards the egg? They fight to be the first one to the egg. In my opinion, sex is always best when the man initiates the sex. Sure it's hot once in a while when your lady shows you she is hot and ready, but if she was the one usually starting the romp, wouldn't you feel more feminine? How strange would it be for the egg to suddenly chase after the sperm? I doubt your problem has to do with the fact that she isn't asking for sex, I think it's more that you are getting bored and worrying that a mid-life crisis/dry spell is heading your way. I am against pill popping, even though I am aware millions make a living cramming pills down peoples throats. You have two separate problems, the first being your sex life has become tedious and boring. This happens to most couples, sadly. I feel that sleeping apart keeps passion alive. Sleeping next to your partner makes them so familiar it can be hard to lust after them. All the tossing and turning and smelling each others farts can turn any hot romance into a predictable hell. Try sleeping separately once in a while (I prefer ALWAYS sleeping apart, but that's just my twisted mind). Make sure you are having alone time with you and your best friend: your cock. Make sure you two have naughty sessions to remind you who's really in charge. As far as getting soft, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it does come with age. You can try to prevent it by avoiding fluoride ( tap water/tooth paste) because I think it's a hard-on killer (it can't just be a coincidence that men born and raised in places that have fluoride in their drinking water have trouble with erections but have nice teeth, where as in Europe, etc, they have crappy teeth because there is no fluoride in their water, but have NO problem getting and staying hard). You two could also try a change of scenery, fucking in the same old bed time after time will make fantasy and passion difficult.

Q.

 Even though it's over between me and my long term boyfriend (7 years) I am still obsessing about him. I always imagine how it looks when he fucks another girl. I put them into every position and worry if she is better in bed than I was for him. I always worry if he still loves me or if we will ever get back together. I wonder about him so much that I can't even sleep anymore. My girlfriends are tired of hearing it, so I am all alone with this problem. If you could just tell me how to get over someone, how to stop thinking about someone, maybe that would help.

Not over him Nat

A.

Sounds like someone has too much free time on their hands. Get busy, get your life back, in other words, get a life.What will be, will be. You can't make someone love you or come back to you. If it's meant to be that you two reconcile, it will happen, but sitting around sweating him will not change anything, it will simply waste time. Before my Grandmother, DOT senior died, she told me "if you have one foot in the past and one in the future, your legs will be wide apart shitting all over today." Stressing over what was or what will be is actually ruining your present life and that's all we really have so cheer up, this isn't a rehearsal, it's the real deal, we only live once.

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Ratdog shows (Bob Weir and friends)

Yes, it's been a whole week since I saw Ratdog for the first time out of the 3 times I saw them this past week, but this is the first time I've had the time to sit down and focus on the blog. Now my column, 'Ask Dr. Dot' is due out in many different places, so I have more dead lines to meet and asses to kiss lol. Nah, just kidding, I love writing my column and I am proud to announce it now appears online at NYROCK.com which has been goin' strong for 9 years.

They give me a lot of freedom (I am allowed to swear, yay!) compared to other US publications that run my column. So I have the rated PG version and rated R version. I don't like being tamed and having limitations, but I suppose sometimes you have to behave to reach a bigger audience with your advice/talent/what have you.

Back to Ratdog. Ratdog is fronted by the Grateful Dead's singer, Bob Weir. Now that Jerry Garcia is dead 🙁 the G.Dead still tours, but sometimes members break off and tour alone with their own solo projects. Ratdog has been going on for 12 years now (that's what the drummer, Jay, told me anyways. I first met Bobby WAY back in 1984. I asked him for an autograph, as I was overwhelmed and didn't know I would see him almost everyday for 3 years after that.

Steve Parish, the former stage manager for the Dead (who was with them for like 30 years) invited me backstage to massage his neck during the show, actually on the stage. That is how I met the Dead. My family, (hippie parents) brought me to many shows of the Dead even when I was young, so I was always curious to meet them and see if they were like I imagined.

After I graduated high school, I put all my shit into storage ( I will still dating Joey Ramone) but got sick of the same old scene. I wanted to be free and follow the dead. I stopped shaving, wearing make up and a bra and just turned “natural” you know, granola baby. Needless to say, Joey was shocked the next time he saw me, barefoot and high and 5 pounds chubbier, wearing tied dyed everything and not giving a shit about a thing except what the Dead played the night before.

I have to laugh now, as Zappa wrote a few songs making fun of people like that, exactly how I was at that period, playing my bongos in the dirt in San Fran, in between Dead tours:

FRANK ZAPPA 'FLOWER PUNK'

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?

Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band.
I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?

I'm goin' to the love-in to sit & play my bongos in the dirt.
Yes, I'm goin' to the love-in to sit & play my bongos in the dirt.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?

I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed.
I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?

I'm goin' to the shrink so he can help me be a nervous wreck . . .”

***************************************************************************************

I always wore a pin on my clothes of Frank sitting on the crapper, and so the dead heads all called me “Zappa Crappa” in stead of Dot.

There were around 3,000 of us dead-heads who were at every show, tour heads. I never asked for money from the dead for massaging them, I just wanted in to every show (back stage of course and to see every sound check and to occasionally take advantage of the catering 🙂 I mainly massaged Bill and Mickey, the two drummers, but sometimes Bobby would have a back rub and Steve Parish always had a neck rub during the show. (I made braceletes and sold tye dyes to make $$). Jerry sometimes had his forearms and hands done, but he would never take off that famous red t-shirt of his. I am getting WAY off subject here.

I heard from certain band members (Ratdog) that now that the Dead tour without Jerry, that the bass player, Phil has taken charge and he is a bit of a control freak to say the least. This lead to Bob being a bit depressed and drinking a bit too much on the last summer tour. I found out how different even the management is now when I called backstage last summer to see if anyone needed a rub down and the people working the management are absolute assholes, screaming into the phone that “Steve Parish doesn't fucking work with us anymore” and just being snotty pricks.

So much for the hippie-love vibe, that died with Jerry, let me tell ya. Loads of people had been fired to save money and well, increase the income of the remaining folks, which I suppose is only natural, it is the survival of the fittest now isn't it? It's all about the Benjamins now with the Grateful Dead, so don't forget to buy a few t-shirts when you see them so Phil and co. can relax and live the good life.

They were the top grossing touring band for like 20 years, all of their shows were sold out solid and I mean ALL. Guess they didn't save up for that rainy day, tsk tsk.

Backstage at the Starland Ballroom, last Tuesday night, I saw Bob Wier and he said “Hey Dot, long time no see” which was really nice. He seems really happy and healthy now, but yes, he is still wacky. He is hard to describe. Silly, strange, moody, sweet, mysterious but most of all fun.

His wife is about 20 years younger than he is and she looks like Shaina Twain. They have a kid or two together, I saw one backstage at the Beacon theater shows.

Anyhow, it was cool pulling into the parking lot, reminded me of the G. Dead days, everyone smoking doobies and dancing next to their car, each car blasting out a different dead tune. Most selling shit next to their car, like tye dyes, hand made jewelry and food. I was curious about the music, as I had never seen Ratdog before, just Bobby and the Midnights, his other solo project. Ratdog played mainly Dead tunes, check it out

^ I'm telling you, my camera is not the best

And keeping with Dead tradition, Bob had an oriental rug on the stage. The place was full of Dead Heads all twirling and dancing around, just like the old times. I think Bob is happier doing Ratdog than he is touring with the Dead, but they have to tour again for their 40th!! anniversary tour this summer.

I massaged the guitar player (he signed the set list above) and drummer, a hottie named Jay Lane. Hello, his wife is one lucky lady, he is super fun and extremely sexy, like an American Indian with a bit of European thrown in there. He is about 6 foot 5 inches tall and well, aaah, I am swooning still.

They invited me to massage them again the next couple nights at their hotel in NYC and then again at the Beacon Theater shows Friday and Saturday night, both were mega sold out. Loads of hippies standing outside just holding up one finger, as in “I need a miracle, just one miracle”.

My pal Steve, the tour manager goes outside at every show, when there are 3 songs left and gives out a bunch of “miracle tickets” as he calls 'em to random Dead Heads, which is so sweet of him.

Steve at work> Steve is a hard rocker, and so I hung out pretty often in his tour office listening to his favorite group, the Deftones on his computer. I am certain the hippie music is just not his thing.

I was told Bob's wife didn't want me to massage Bob. In fact, he used these very words “She would hand me my left nut”. LOL! She shot me dirty looks every time she saw me backstage. What ever snotty, get over it, if I wanted to shag Bobby, I would have done it LONG ago, before he met you.

She was just out for a few shows, bothering, I mean, visiting Bobby. No wonder most rock stars leave their ball and chain at home, no man wants to be told what he can and can not do, especially a rock star. No big woop, I had a blast hanging out with the lads, massaging them and then on the last night, going out to karaoke with a couple of them. One thing I will always remember, is telling Jay, the drummer, how it irked me that I never got to see Jerry play 'Dear Prudence' live.

I have seen the Dead over 300 times and it was always the show (Jerry solo) that I missed when he played that tune. (Also, I can't believe all those years and not one picture of them in person. You just don't ask the Dead for such a thing, it was like a religion and Jerry was the pope, you just didn't. I mean, how many pictures have YOU seen of Jerry and a fan? None. Anyhow, Jay said, “I will get Bob to play it tomorrow”. Sure enough, they played it Friday night, it was fucking incredible.

If Ratdog is heading your way, try to catch their show, it's almost like the old days, in fact, it is better than seeing the dead from 1986-1989 because when they released that song “touch of grey” and went on MTV for the first time in 1986, the secret party was over, it was laden with fake hippies selling crack and scalping tickets, it just wasn't the same anymore. Now that the smoke has cleared and they hype is over, Ratdog, even though Jerry isn't there, is a special exprerience, a secret party, so keep it low.

I just love how colorful the Dead passes were. I have to get my Ratdog passes scanned in, they have a snarling, vicious dog on them. My book 'Butt Naked and Backstage” (which isn't out yet in the US) goes into great detail about my years on Dead tours as well as every band I come across. My blogs are just quickes, someday the long version will be available for you if you want. It's a rock and roll diary, yeah baby.

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Ripping open old wounds ( and a cockey Arab )

One thing that has changed since I have been back here in Sauerkraut land, something quite amazing-is that I have become a morning person. I am not sure how long it will last, or if it is a sign that I am ill, but since I landed 6 days ago, I have gone to bed every night at 11:30pm and I get up at 9:00am! Of course I got up like everyone else for school at 6am for years and with Jasmine for years too, but like I said in a former blog entree,

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Animal Cops, Dogs and why Berliners are so angry

You no longer need to wonder why Berliners are so fucking miserable. Imagine, you work your ass off all year long, give about 50% of your earnings to the government for taxes, and just when the weather gets nice ( this happens about 14 days a year) you may go to the 'Beach' in Berlin, the Wannsee and naturally you want to stretch out and lie in the sun rite? WRONG!!