Tag: berlin

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Eagles of Death Metal meet Staind in Berlin

Saturday night (last night) was pretty entertaining. Met up with Aaron Lewis , singer of Staind who is by FAR the Dot Bots favorite client. He gets a massage pretty much every single day of every tour he does and he LOVES our massage team (the feeling is mutual). He is super generous, funny as hell and a good challenge (he expects EXTREME deep tissue, like no other!). Anyways, Aaron had his two hour massage then we went over to the Franz Club where the Eagles of Death Metal were playing.

I have not been to the Franz Club for years, so when we (Aaron and I) got out of the taxi, I asked the very first people I could "which way exactly is the Franz club?" – but I said it in German as it IS Berlin. The guy, looked at me like I was nuts and I said it again in English- and added we are looking for the backstage door to the Eagles of Death Metal. He said "WE ARE the Eagles of Death Metal" ha ha. I didn't recognize the singer, Jesse Hughs, as his hair is longer now..There was a video camera rolling the whole time, but I wasn't sure why- there was a massive soccer game tonight so I just assumed it was the local news, but it was a tv crew following the singer and drummer of the Eagles of Death Metal around outside for some reason, lol. So, I say "I am Dr. Dot and this is Aaron" and he said "I know who you are" and then he shook hands with Aaron and gave me a hug. I was perplexed as I had never met him before and he could not see my Dr. Dot shirt under the umteen sweaters I had on – eh? Guess he knows the Dr. Dot massage team and assumed I was just one of the Dot Bots lol. ANYHOW we all went backstage and had a BLAST.

Jesse Hughes , singer of The Eagles of Death Metal ^

Jesse, Aaron and Eagles of Death Metal drummer, Joey Castillo ^ who also plays with Queens of the Stone Age

Guitarist of Eagles of Death Metal, Dave Catching ^ was super cool to talk to. He played me some OLD Roxy Music on his iPod and I have to admit, I will be looking it up online and buying it. Sounded great. It was before the Talking Heads had formed and you can tell the Talking Heads must have been heavily influenced by early Roxy Music (the Brian Eno connection going on too)

This was taken months ago ^ just thought I would toss it on here again

 

We came so early to the Eagles of Death Metal show and Aaron and I both couldn't be bothered to see the opening act, so we booked it to White Trash for some yummy grub and ARROGANT service. The hostess there pretty much SCREAMED at us to get out of the big booth and move to the tiny table Wolfgang the owner reserved for us. JEEEZE. Even Aaron could not believe how fucking bitchy they are there. White Trash is fun and the food is great but they are FAMOUS for snotty fucking service. Not kidding. Their french fries are called "Fuck you fries". lol

Took these pics of Aarons new tatt's while awaiting our grub.

 

Aaron had his hands tattooed not so long ago ^ looks mad cool. 

He told me who certain songs of his are about, he said no one knows except him and his band. Felt privileged to know that inside info. I swore to secrecy, so I will just have to leave it in my will. lol

 Ate and ran out of there to make it back in time to the Eagles of Death Metal gig. They still had a half hour before show time, so we had some laughs. Some cute groupies slinked back stage, oooh la la:

Electrical Tape bra. She must be a Wendy-O fan ^

 

Their tour manager, Louie and I go WAY back. I have known him since 1989. He used to tour for YEARS with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Great to see him again. "Rock and Roll never forgets"

Two minutes before show time. Jesse is pumped up and ready!

Drummer Joey waiting til the very last minute to put sticky tape on his drums sticks so they don't slide out of hands. 

 

"The band's on stage and it's one of those nights, oh yeah
The drummer thinks that he is dynamite, oh yeah
You lovely ladies in your leather and lace
A thousand lips I would love to taste
I've got one heart and it hurts like hell
If you can't rock me somebody will
If you can't rock me somebody will"

Rolling Stones

 

 The Franz Club was beyond sold out. This was a special record company gig, super hard to get in if you didn't have a hook up. The band sounded fantastic. VERY energetic. Their intro song (before band comes out) was "Ladies Night" super funk!

Well, gotta get to bed, the Staind show is tomorrow at the Columbia Halle, gotta rest up.

x

 


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Berlin, Monday at sunset

 

Haupt strasse ^ same street David Bowie lived on in the 70's (5 minute walk from my house). On my computer the colors look darker, wilder, but when I upload them onto my blog, they seem to fade. Strange that. 

I have lived in Berlin, on and off since 1989 and I don't ever recall seeing such vibrant colors in the sky in winter. I MUST start bringing my camera out and about with me from now on, ugh! These were taken with my crackberry, which I always have with me. Not great  quality, but you get the idea.

When I first get back to Berlin it takes me a while to get back into the loop. Friends are happy I am back but are weary of giving their hearts over again, somehow, as they know I am leaving again in March, know what I mean? THAT is the part that sucks the most about living two lives on two different continents. Takes WEEKS to warm yourself and others up to the fact you are back, then once things are in full swing, you leave again, leaving sad and leaving people sad. I hate that part. It may not be like that if you are peddling from one small town back to another, but it is REALLY difficult with cities like NYC and Berlin, where the people are hard to win over anyways, super hard to make friends in either city. I would say it takes at least 2 full years to make a friend in Berlin, a good friend, one you can trust and one that trusts you. Maybe even longer. My REAL friends understand my lifestyle and it seems we never miss a beat. The other kind of friends, well, they are hard work. Not that I even have time to see friends often, sometimes I don't see anyone for DAYS as I am in my flat answering over 1,000 emails a day, writing the sex columns, answering love/relationship questions from strangers (or people I know posing as stranges, and that person knows exactly who I am talking about you fucking freak) also answering emails from people all over the world who hope to join my massage team, hoping to meet and massage their rock and roll idols or just make some cash- thing is, I can not and will not hire anyone with out them giving an audition massage, so it's all about planning and logistics, when and where this test massage will take place. This is why I only have like 200 people working for me and not 40,000, because I insist they have to give that audition massage. Some feel they are above doing such a thing, and their emails are then deleted, some take the test and suck ass, and then they are deleted. 

Emails fly back and forth all feckin' day and night- people getting fired (usually every other day someone gets fired) people quitting "I am moving, I am pregnant, I took another job, my boyfriend/husband is too jealous" etc). There is DRAMA every fucking day,. seriously. Dot Bots making critical mistakes, costing me valuable contacts and money, band managers screaming at top of their lungs down at me over the phone because of mistakes made by a Dot Bot or two (Dot Bot is a nick name bassist Bryan Bellar gave to all Dr. Dot massage assistants a few years ago).  He says it is too much work to keep saying "Please send a Dr. Dot massage assistant to the show" so now people just say "send a Dot Bot". And you have to remember, it goes on 24/7. 

When Dot Bots in Melbourne wake up, Dot Bots in NYC are sleeping, etc, there are always folks awake, wanting something from me, calling, texting, emailing, wondering, crying, bitching, lonely and wanting to chat. I LOVE it, so don't get me wrong I am just telling you why I am online so much and why the blog suffers as it is last to get attention. I still have so many blogs in me, Italy, France, Flogging Molly, Project Object, Ac/Dc, Rock am Ring for Christs sake and that was last summer. Omfg. My ass starts to hurt from sitting and after answering like 800 emails in a row, I hit refresh and then there are another 200 in line waiting. You scoff and say "hire a fucking assistant tight ass and stop micro managing, ya dumb cunt!". Well, I do have a few assistants that I trust and they do somethings for me and are a huge help, but no one can sign into my email account, for what seem to me, obvious reasons. They would/could steal all of my contacts, but mainly, no one knows who I know, as in, no one would know that Suzy in LA knows Frank the roadie from Aerosmith and they are both in Dallas as the same time, etc.. Or no one knows that a tour manager that once toured with Depeche Mode is now touring with The Eagles and he can hook us up, etc. So even if my top Dot Bots who I love and trust signed into answer some of the emails, they would still have to call me ask what to do. "who is Stan and why is he asking for Cindy's number? Who is Cindy and what is her number?". I just doesn't work. 

 

But I think, fuck it, I have had so much fun in my life, more than most people for sure, so if I have down time and have to hide at home in front of the computer, it's all good, I don't feel I am missing anything. Been there, done that, shagged that, eaten that, saw it, heard it, experienced so much I am grateful, satisfied, content. Most people freak and feel they have to travel here and there and see this and that, I followed the Grateful Dead on tour for almost 3 years straight, drove a hearse across the usa, been to Guatemala, all over Europe, the USA and Canada, been backstage to over 3,000 concerts, met musician except Rings Star that I really want to meet, so I am just chillin' now. Good times still to be had, but for me, working is FUN. Sound strange? Most people hate work, I live for it. Guess that addictive trait from my family rubbed off on me, but instead of drugs or alcohol, I got the work bug, and bad. 

But if you love your work, it doesn't feel like work. It just pisses everyone around you off that you are always busy and even when you are out, looking on blackberry to avoid missing any work. I REALLY enjoyed myself at Christmas in Florida, I finally relaxed. Still got about 500 emails a day, which I am still paying for, but it as fucking awesome. Just know, I can't write everything I want in my blogs, as certain people get hurt, pissed off and crazy when I do. I am pretty much banned from writing about my daughter (she is very private). I wish I could post TONS of pictures of her and brag about her and her accomplishments, but her friends all read my blog and report back to her and sure enough, Bitchfest. Then the love life, can't write about that either, that is private. (heh, someday I will write a book about it, big fat juicy book). heh heh. I hate being stifled, restrained, censored, controlled in any way. HATE IT. 

But you have to protect and respect the people you love, and so it goes. Friends read my blog and have learned how to read between the lines. They read it, call me and pretty much get 10 pounds of shit from a 5 pound bag. Bravo. Even Dweezil Zappa reads my blog. How do I know? I posted a blog a while back titled "Is Gail Zappa only in it for the money?" and he emailed me 10 minutes later bitching about it. But, I now write what I want about Gail and the ZFT as I have tried to be nice and suggest ideas on how to please all the fans and tribute bands and Zappa festivals etc, but those ideas fall on deaf ears (they refuse to bend at all) and so they go on suing every cunt who plays a Zappa song, even had all of my youtube videos removed that had ZAPPA songs playing IN THE BACKGROUND!!! "The Zappa family trust has written in and claimed copyright infringement on one or more of your videos. You can either replace the sound and have them active again, or they will remain frozen". So all the work I did nararrting my videos was all done in vain because stupid me had some Frank playing on my iPod in the background. Pffft. lol.

Not even sure I am going with all of this rambling. I have to leave now and power walk to the KuDamm (main drag in West Berlin) to a Doctor appointment (still ill from drinking tap water in Key West Florida, so if you go there DO NOT DRINK THE TAP WATER). I get fit so fast here as I walk everywhere, ride my bike and when it is dry, rollerblade. In the USA I get in the car, drive everywhere and pound the Resee's Peanut Butter cups, tsk tsk tsk!! I get softer, which I guess isn't such a bad thing, but I like to remain firm and fruity, you know? 

Gotta go, ttyl

x

 

 

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Oasis sold out concert in Berlin

So glad I decided to come back to Berlin in time to see/massage Oasis. My flight, by the way, was HELL. Stupid me, went to airport in a rush, no food in belly and sat at a bar to check emails, felt guilty for not ordering anything and decided on a white wine. Tasted so good I had another. Barely made the flight (plane had closed its door) and once I got in and settled, that old "i'm gonna puke" feeling came to me. Plane was barely off the ground and I was yacking in the bathroom. I pretty much threw up every 30 minutes of the 8 hour flight. Took me a day to get over that but the jet lag is still here. But NOTHING would stop me from missing Oasis again (last time they played Berlin I missed my flight out of JFK airport, that's why I never use JFK anymore, I use Newark instead).

 

Anyways, it was SO FUCKING GREAT to see Liam and Noel again, haven't seen them for years. Noel, who I first met in 1993 when he was a guitar tech for a band I was massaging called the Inspiral Carpets , always says the same thing when he sees me "you used to have blonde hair, what happened?". LMFAO. I guess he loves blondes and when he first met me in 1993, I was indeed blonde. I have massaged them many times since 1993, but he still remembers that first time. So funny. In 1993 he kept coming into the massage room backstage at the Loft (name of venue) and kept saying "one day you will be massaging me, I will be a rock star soon". He wasn't fucking lyin that is for sho.

 

I always get a warm welcome when I walk backstage at a Oasis show as I wear my Man City foot ball jacket (which I got in 1994 when dating a Manc named Steve from Strettford (Manchester). The lads welcome me with open arms "that's a nice top that is" they say 🙂

Liam is so fucking fun, I made him laugh so loud a few times, I love that. Making him CRACK UP is the bomb- his laugh is the best. Their new drummer, Chris Sharrock – who previously played with Liam's arch-rival Robbie Williams , remembered me from the last time he was in Berlin with Robbie.  Chris and Oasis is a great combo, he fits in perfectly and it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Chris is from Liverpool and says he is as big of a Beatles fan as I am. I burnt him George Harrison outtakes last time and mailed it to his home, this time I burnt the lads "Joe's Garage" a good starter kit for people who "have never head any Frank Zappa". I hope the listen to it on the bus and it doesn't end up in the trash or used as a beer mat. 

 

Liam is looking FINE ^ as ever. SCHWING! Noel looked gorgeous too, but I didn't take a picture, in fact, I am PISSED off at myself as I forgot my fucking camera AGAIN. This is the third time (Paul Weller, President of Georgia and tonight, Oasis). WTF. I am surely getting Alzheimers or am still drunk from the flight. FOOK!! So my Blackberry had to do. The pics come out shitty, but they are better than nothing. 

 Above and directly below: Not taken with Blackberry

 

Another band from Manchester, Twisted Wheel   . They have a rather Punk edge to their sound. They LOVE the Clash, Sex Pistols, Buzzcocks and Oasis. Drummer is hip to Zappa. The singer is only 22 years old so he didn't know much Zappa (not that young folks don't know Zappa, but most don't, especially the Brits. Not many Brits I meet know Zappa.) The singer/guitarist is the one to the far right. I am sandwiched between him and the Drummer, Adam, dark green shirt. The blonde is Rick, the bass player. How fucking cute are these guys? Massaging them was an absolute pleasure. sigh.

 

 

So there is their set list ^  Click HERE to see Oasis tour dates

x

ps. Before I drag my aching bones into bed with Pooh, I had a silly thought whilst out power walking today. The NYC/Berlin comparisons never stop in my brain, and I thought, that song by Frank Sinatra about New York "If you can make it there you'll make it, anywhere" would be like this if it was about Berlin "If you CAN'T make it there, you won't make it anywhere". SO fucking easy to make a living in Berlin. Rent is SUPER cheap. You can walk everywhere. Hardly any pressure here at all to make ends meet. Had to laugh. If you can't make it here, forget it. 

 

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Hooter and Greenway show

Staying home on a cold Friday night here in NYC as I have my sex columns due NOW and I am on antibiotics AGAIN. My lungs couldn't handle the 5 mile jog I did Sunday night before going out to karaoke (wild night of karaoke) with my friend Jill. I am sure inhaling all the put smoke in the karaoke bar didn't help. I was jogging my ass off down in FLA without any problems, I guess I have to quit jogging in the winter OR move down South.

 

Some buddies of mine have their own radio show called The Hooter and Greenway show and they have been waiting for about a year for me to pose in their shirt so I finally did it. I have a stack of t-shirts I am suppsoed to pose in, but I never think of doing it. Doesn't cross my mind. 

(you can see Pooh to the left of me, sniffing my armpit as usual)

 

I HOPE I get over this round of Bronchitis before I fly back to Berlin (within the next ten days). NOT looking forward to landing in Berlin this time as I head it is BELOW zero (it was 19 below the other night). OMFG. I have to go, lots to do over there. Lots to do everywhere for that matter. 

Gotten used to the USA way of life again, been here since August and there are some things here that are much easier than in Europe. You don't have to force a smile out of anyone, people are happy- rich or poor, they are still happier here. Making a living in NYC is much harder, but the mood is better in general. Gas prices are SUPER low now (filled my tank for $20 the other night). GREAT FOOD everywhere here. I gained 3 kilos since August (5 pounds?) but it seems the pounds went straight to my tits anyways, so I am not moaning. I will surely hate Berlin for the first few weeks, then I will grow to love it again and hate to leave. Never ending story! I would write more now but I have to do my sex columns. 

I have some fun pics from our Sunday night out and will load them later

x

 

 

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Leaving Berlin for a while :(

Going mad here trying to pack for my trip to NYC. I will be there a few months, not even sure how long this time. I do NOT want to leave Berlin. I love it here now. How crazy is that? I always do things ass backwards, ugh!!

Anyhow, I interviewed Joe Jackson for the Exberliner magazine, the English magazine for Germany; same one I have been writing my sex column for since it began 6 years ago. Joe is very private and I was surprised he agreed to do the interview at all and NOW, I am proud to say, it is the cover story and his picture takes up the whole cover of the September issue. Guess I will only be able to see it online as I am leaving to NYC in a few days. 

Recently I have had many friends pass through Berlin and I showed them around a bit, as much as I could. First, Norm, my buddy from San Diego and bassist for the band Hard Echo came to Berlin-

then Tina, Robin, John and Shirley who are ALL  into Frank Zappa as much as I am, came this past Monday, and they brought two friends along with them as well (they all went to the  Zappanale , the same Zappa festival I went to last summer). I sadly didn't make it this year, but will be there next summer, hopefully. They passed through Berlin and we all went out and explored and quoted Zappa all night, wicked fun!!

 

Here are some pics..

Hard Echo in the house!!  ^ (Norm is the Blonde and "Prince Harry" is on the right 🙂

Standard tourist spot, the bombed "blue church" on the Ku'Damm ^

 

Tina and I at Potsdamer Platz ^  
 

  Robin and I ^ at same tourist trap (gasp, pieces of the WALL! oh my my)

                                

 

Robin, Shirley, Tina and John a the Brandenburger Tor (gate) ^

John, from Chicago, is a massive Zappa fan and knows Cynthia Plaster-Caster personally (hoping I can get a good deal on the Jimi Hendrix cock replica (below)  Laughing

 

Raising ^ HELL in Murry's Irish pub at 1am (they had to be at airport by 5am, YIKES!) 

 Looking forward to going back home to NYC, to see Jasmine and then up to CT  for my class reunion and THEN to Boston to visit friends, family and loved ones and my DAWGY Frankie is in CT waiting for me too, but I am truly gutted to leave Berlin. This time its really hard because I know Jasmine will be studying for 4 years in NYC, so coming back to Berlin won't be so urgent. I know people all over the world, but I have more real friends in Berlin than anywhere else. It takes YEARS to earn someone's friendship here in Berlin, but once you do, you can trust them with your house keys, bank card, child, everything. My heart is truly torn in two (Berlin/NYC). Funny thing is, Joe Jackson is in the same boat. He too loves Berlin and NYC and he too, can't decide. So we both go on, living in both places. It's great knowing someone else in the same boat. sigh.

 

I have to go pack

x

 Dr. Dot 

Posted on

Seitenstrangangina and other exciting activities happening in Berlin

I am not surprised that I am ill now. It's so great here in Germany, if you are ill, you call the Doctor, 24 hours a day, and they come to your house within 90 minutes. If you have insurance, it cost nothing, if you don't, it's like $80. Who has time to wait in a Doctors office anyways? I was told I have Bronchitis again (it never goes away, it lingers in your lungs if you have had pneumonia and it scars the tissue in your lungs). If your immune system is down (for example, if you have stress from people stabbing you in the back) you are bound to have a Bronchitis flare up. AND since I had my tonsils removed last September, when I get a sore throat, it happens further down and in German it's called Seitenstrangangina or some shit like that, it's not good! I am on antibiotics again and trying to rest. UGH!!

I don't smoke, barely ever have a glass of wine, eat fruti and veggies and still end up ill. Not fair. I see the old men when I pass the bar on my corner (it's open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) and wonder how they manager to drink every day/night and still survive? wot? Anyhow, starting to pack for my trip to NYC and I tell you, it is hard to leave Berlin. I have FINALLY fallen in love with the place. I will be spending MUCH more time in NYC now that Jasmine is going to school there, so I feel like I am leaving Berlin for good, but I will still keep a flat here. Berlin is fucking cool (wish they would smile more and quit smoking heh heh). 

 Joe Jackson gave me the rare honor of interviewing him for the Exberliner magazine (September issue). He is very private and keeps to himself, hates the limelight, so I feel very privilaged. Joe is so fucking cool and he never even tries to be. Did I mention his favorite group is the Beatles and Frank Zappa? We get a long great, apart from his view on smoking. He is PRO and I am very CON. ha ha. Oh well, no two folks have the same point of view on everything, thank God, otherwise the world would be so boring. 

I feel kind of good now that Lisa, the traitor is getting what she deserves; a big fat fine to pay and every manager/roadie/rock star/promoter in my address book knows of her stunt and will not be hiring her. Tsk tsk, don't bite the generous hand that teaches/feeds you. 

 

On a different note….

 My Dad just sent me a funny email, check it out:


Unsuccessful German Restaurants:   

LuftWaffle House   

BlintzKrieg   

What-a-Braten   

BurgerKraut   

Dolph & Eva's Secret Garden   

Mein Kaffe   

Reich's Chris Steakhouse   

Just-Stop-O   

Burgermeister & Jerry's   

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“I’ve got nasty habits”

I shouldn't write a blog right now, it's almost 8 am and I am STILL up working. I finally figured out why the president of Georgia hasn't called about his massage (Georgia is at war with Russia). He called and said "Sorry Dr. Dot, I do want a massage, but I have too many asses to kick at the moment". Just kidding. Laughing

I am still fuming mad about Lisa betraying me. Fucking lying bitch! Now I start to think maybe that client DIDN'T run out on her, maybe he paid her and she made up that stupid lie just to keep the 20%. I don't trust her one bit now. She is fired and will be paying a massive fine. She is still trying to bullshit her way out of this saying she knew the band before. BULLSHIT. I sent her to massage them and she emailed me back saying she "has always wanted to meet them". In her paypal note she wrote "one of the guitarist wanted to bring me on tour, isn't that sweet?". BITCH. Rot it hell you lying cunt. I Hope Def Leppard does the right thing, but you would be surprised how far a cute face goes. She will probably cry, lie and beg her way back into Vivian's house and massage him again. Oh well, at least people can't say I tried to warn them. 

 I had a 3 hour massage last night from Sabrina and two hours of acupuncture tonight from another lady. Thing is, I always feel that I eat and behave so healthy, but in reality I have been making big mistakes. I found out the protein shakes I make for myself every "morning" when I wake around 4 or 5 pm are bad for me because of the 1 grapefruit, 3 oranges and 1 lemon I squeeze into them. Apparently all of that citrus is hell for my stomach and bladder. Also, the coffee is also doing a number on my bladder and sleep disorder, so I have to quit coffee 🙁 and cut back on the citrus (which I thought was soooo good for me). AND 99% of what I eat is raw/cold. I eat fruit, salad, shakes, cold beans in my salad, avacado mashed onto whole wheat bread, I mean doesn't that sound healthy to you? I have been told by so many people I have to eat warm meals. So I am doing a whole change now, not gonna like it, but something has to happen as I am a nervous wreck (oh, and the stress has got to slow down, but how?).

The massage biz just keeps growing and growing and not being able to trust people sucks ass. Shitten' kittens. This is nothing new to me. My mom fucked one of my boyfriends when I was younger, my best friend stole my passport to get into a 18 and over Santana concert in NH (Wendy you bitch) and then SHE fucked my boyfriend after. Then another best friend fucked yet another boyfriend. Needless to say, I don't introduce many girlfriends when I am dating a man. Then the employees who fuck me over. May they rot in hell. 

 Hard to be sweet and easy going with all of that shit going on. Sometimes I think "fuck it" and just visualize me selling everything I own and moving into trailer park in Florida to play cards all day with old folks. But that vision quickly fades when I think of all the fun I have making sure touring musicians get a kick ass massage, each stop of their tour. (touring is HELL on the body). So I just plow on. Some have said "business is business Dot" but I thought people who study massage were different. I thought they had a heart. I thought they cared about people and had more integrity then say, a stock broker or lawyer. Guess not. This isn't the first betrayal, but it is the biggest. And then there was the friend I let use  my PC, who installed the KGB key logger and then read my emails and myspace messages for over two months before SHOWING me screen shots of all of my emails. "Down on me, yeah, down on me, feels like everybody in this whole wide world yea, is down on me" Janis Joplin.

 

I do LOVE life and LOVE people so much, so I will just have to try and trust again and keep on smiling. Lots to do and I guess having too much to do is better that having NOTHING to do. I really can NOT imagine being bored. I am never bored. Not even when I am sleeping. 

I went jogging Sunday eve and saw a bunch of rabbits, looking at me. Then I went jogging again on Wednesday, same area and saw two red foxes in the SAME EXACT spot as the rabbits had been, also staring at me. The wild life is NOT afraid of humans here. I bet the rabbits are fucking scare of those foxes though. I had to laugh when I saw the foxes, thinking of the smart ass rabbits just days before. I would much rather be the fox than the rabbit I tell ya.

Berlin weather is so crazy. One day (day, ha ha, that's funny) I mean, one afternoon, it's hot and humid, next eve it's cold, all the leaves are on the ground like it's fall and it's windy with rain. Like a fucking premenstrual wench. Oh yeah, the Doctors and acupuncturists also tell me taking the birth control pill is also bad. Omfg. How is it that I know some folks who eat french fries, steak, drink beer, smoke copius amounts of ganga and tons of coffee still sleep like a rock and seem fine and here's me, Ms. one glass of wine a week, one cup of coffee per day, salad til it comes out my fucking ears and I am a nervous wreck/stress ball? Could it be they are just punching a clock and get to "leave work behind" when they get home? My work never, ever ends. Go out to eat with me and I am looking at my blackberry 25% of the time. Have to! If I miss an email from Joel from GOod Charlotte, wanting a massage, he may call another massage company, ditto for any other celeb client of mine (and not just celeb clients, any client). 

I am going to bed, as I am starting to get cranky and the construction workers are already here, outside my window banging shit around. Men and their toys.

oh, but first:

 While searching for Lisa's contract to nail her balls to the wall, I came across this PROM picture of mine. Guess which hussy is me? ha ha. How embarrassing!! Rockville High School, Ct. My date was Billy Connelly (spelling?) who was a LOT like Huckleberry Finn. He normally wore jean overalls, no shirt, no shoes, bandanna on his head, smile on his face.  I absolutely LOATHED our prom song "one more night" by Phil Collins. Bite me. I wanted Joey Ramone (whom I was dating at the time to come with me, but he was touring. BUT he made it up to me by playing a show in Ellington for most of my school 🙂

Why didn't anyone take me aside and explain how tacky bleached blond hair actually is? My Mom started that. She put highlights in my hair when I was in the 7th grade. That is too young for that crap. She was just experimenting on me like a lab rat and from then on, my hair was fucked with. I am so glad I let it natural now. Not to sound even more queer than I already am, but I want to quote Cher "if I could turn back time" ha ha. 

DELIRIOUS at this point from lack of sleep. Why even bother going to bed? I should stay up and try to be a good Homosapien and follow the Suns rules.Oh, Rockville High is having a massive Class Reunion in September. Should be fun. See how many people still hate my guts. heh heh. They all know me as Dot Jagger. When I graduated, the principal even called my name out as "Dot Jagger". SO into the Stones at that point. OVER THAT!! Beatles RULE! Dot McCartney sounds way better anyways. I only went to Rockville High for two years, 11th and 12th grade, so the RHS kids didn't exactly welcome this blonde, mini skirt wearing blond rock chick with open arms. But I was used to being the "new girl" in school. Before that I was in Virginia Beach, Virginia at Bayside High and Bayside Junior High (only for the 9th and 10th grade). Before THAT I was in Newport, Rhode Island for some of the 6th and 8th grade and for my 7th grade I went to Thompson Junior High in Dover, New Hampshire, then back to Newport, oh God, don't get me going, in 12 years of school, I was in 15 different schools (still have the report cards here to prove it). Went to school in Memphis, Tenn.  for the 5th grade (going backwards here).

I am so fucking tired of moving and traveling, I could scream. I really envy the people who have lived a stable life, with a stable family, in the same town their whole life, with  a nice house and many pets. What's it like? Maybe in my next life, eh? But I supposed what you have lived through, makes you what you are, so I am fine with all that. The grass is always greener I guess. I am so happy Jasmine has lived her whole life so far in Berlin. I gave her stability (and so did her dad). That is what parents are supposed to do. You are supposed to show your child a life better than the one you had. Mission accomplished 🙂

 

I got nasty habits, I take tea at three
Yes, and the meat I eat for dinner
Must be hung up for a week
My best friend, he shoots water rats
And feeds them to his geese
Don'cha think there's a place for you
In between the sheets?

Come on now, honey
We can build a home for three
Come on now, honey
Don't you wanna live with me?

And there's a score of harebrained children
They're all locked in the nursery
They got earphone heads they got dirty necks
They're so 20th century
Well they queue up for the bathroom
'Round about 7:35
Don'cha think we need a woman's touch to make it come alive?

You'd look good pram pushing
Down the high street
Come on now, honey
Don't you wanna live with me?

Whoa, the servants they're so helpful, dear
The cook she is a whore
Yes, the butler has a place for her
Behind the pantry door
The maid, she's French, she's got no sense
She's wild for Crazy Horse
And when she strips, the chauffeur flips
The footman's eyes get crossed

Don'cha think there's a place for us
Right across the street
Don'cha think there's a place for you,
In between the sheets?

 Rolling Stones

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Hertha BSC Berlin vs. Liverpool FC: Soccer in Germany

 

  
 ^ Video I made at the match  Oh hells yeah

 


My mate Julie and I bought tickets to go see Liverpool play Hertha here in Berlin at the Olympia Stadium. Last time I was there was a couple summers ago to see the Stones.  I actually saw Liverpool FC play there before, think it was August 1993. So fun to watch them play. They are amazing. AND The Beatles come from Liverpool, so naturally I am going to support them. Their color is RED, so my gal pal and I wore red. 

Tickets were only 25 euros ($35?), which is pretty fair. This was just a "friendly" match, nothing big at risk. Everyone was super relaxed (read:drunk) and having a great time.  

 

 Olympia Stadium, Berlin  (not taken day of game fyi)  

 

Our seats weren't that great, or even next to each other, but we managed to find an easy going security guard who went against the strict German rules and let us in a section that wasn't *gasp* the one on our ticket. We wanted to sit with Liverpool supporters (where the most red shirts were). As I said in my video, above, we soon found out, that just because they were wearing red and supporting Liverpool, doesn't mean they are FROM Liverpool, or even the UK. There were all East Germans, yes, I know, there is no more "East or West" officially, but mentally, it's still here. The "Ossi's hate the Wessi's" etc.. Anyways, the East Germans HATE Hertha (Berlin's Football club) so much because they are "West" that they would rather support the "Inselaffen" as they call the Brits (the Island Apes, because the UK is an island, blah blah).

 

   

Lots of players falling down and lots of "ecken" (corners?) wtf does that mean? I admit, I don't know all the football lingo and all, but it's even worse trying to figure out the football lingo in another language. I can speak and read (and write) German, but these sport terms had me confused.

 

We did the wave a few times. I love that. We all sang the football songs, and Julie told me as I walked up to have a slash (piss) the guys were singing "Get your tits out" but I didn't even notice because I thought it was just another football chant and blocked it out. ha ha. 

 

These lads sat two rows in front of us and asked us to pose for pictures like 10 times. They are from East Germany too. 

  
   

Julies perky tits are a bit hidden here… I guess I squashed them. Sorry Julie. Word: Underwire Bra.  

 

 A sporty sausage fest. 

 

Julie and I were asked by at least 50 guys to pose with them for a picture. So, why not ask them to take one of us? Julie was like "wot the FUCK Dot? Why are all these people asking us for pictures??". A couple of the German guys asked me if I was 'Dr. Dot' and one said he saw me on TV, one on Big Brother (I was in the BIg Brother container for one whole day a few years ago massaging all the peeps. You can see pics at www.puredrdot.com click on LINKS and see Big Brother banner). It was actually getting embarrassing as people were trying to watch the game and there was this massive hoopla around us, omfg. I am UNDER exaggerating. Seriously. Wish Julie would put her two cents it. She is a writer too, so perhaps she will blog too. The girls seated a few rows up from us were shooting daggers at us with there eyes. Hey, get yourself a red dress. Red is THE color apparently. 

Julie and I took a taxi to the game to save time, but decided to take the S-Bahn (over ground train) towards home. It was so fucking packed outside the Olympia Stadium anyways, that no taxi would ever get through. So we plowed along with the hordes of football fans (some hooligans too) and squeezed onto the train. I usually never take public transport here (used to years ago) because you can basically walk anywhere in Berlin (keeps legs slim), rollerblade or walk. PLUS, Germans fucking STARE. I mean they REALLY do not know the difference between an innocent glance and an outright 5 minute long stare. No one has ever taught them that it's kinda rude. lol. I remember dating a massive brick layer from London named Kevin years ago, like hmmm, 1993, here in Berlin. He was a weight lifter and built like a brick shit house (normally not my type, but he loved Elvis, so that won him brownie points). Anyways, I remember my fling with Kevin didn't last long because every time we went somewhere in public, like a pub or the underground train, Germans would stare at us (I was doing Madonna dopple-gaenger shows (impersonations) for money because I could not speak German yet and so I had a short white wavy bob (like her Blonde Ambition tour cut) and super thin eyebrows and he looked like a fucking wrestler. Anyways, they would stare and he was so aggressive (he told me he took steroids to get bigger muscles ) he would SCREAM at all the Germans who looked at us, which of course, brought more attention to us, and then more aggression from him towards them. Omfg. Nightmare. Anyways, Germans stare and I was dressed in red, as you can see, and had the cleavage on at full force (hey, we only live once, let them breath. Someday they will shrivel up and rot, so for now, they are out). 

The guys on the train heard Julie and I talking in English (we can both speak fluent German) so the lads didn't know we could understand them at all. The train was PACKED and they were  making LOUD, obnoxious comments about her skirt, her tits, my tits, my dress, etc. We just smile to each other and kept on talking. After a few stops, some seats became available and she and I sat across from one another and the hooligans sat next to us (there were loads of them). The train got a bit quiet when they sat down next to us and they kept on talking about how they would LOVE to do this and that to us. They suddenly I turned to the loudest one and in perfect German, loud enough for everyone to hear, I asked "So what was that you said awhile ago about my tits?". His jaw hit the floor. They all turned bright red (guessing they were around 20 years old). The whole train, apart from them, was laughing their asses off. Snap. 

 I wasn't offended or pissed, I mean, if you dress that way, you have to expect some flack (got it every day in High School when I was dating Joey Ramone, but instead of Red, I was wearing PINK every day (hate pink now, would never wear it again). Most of the time, I wear sporty clothes, but sometimes I like to vamp it up. SO bring it on, I have a massive sense of humor and a sharp tongue. What was that one of my friends called me the other night "Tornado Tongue." hmmmm. heh heh. 

Well, neither Julie nor I are BVG (Berliner public transportation) savvy, so we got off at the Hauptbahnhof (main train station) and were both so famished we would have eating the South end of a North bound skunk at that point. We scarfed down some amazing German bread (Germans make the BEST fucking bread I have ever had) and then headed over to Murry's Irish Pub (used to be the Emerald Isle). My mate Steve is the cook there (he is from Dublin and is engaged to a German lady). A lot of the English speaking community of Berlin hangs here at Murry's. Hey, if you feel like just speaking English, you hang out with fellow English speakers. So we do.

 
 Great BOWIE shirt, no?  Sid and Nancy in Berlin? ^

 This is "Beano" and he is from Ireland and reminds me of Sid Vicious . He sings with a punk band too. The blond girl (Anne) is his German pal. All of us English mother tongue folk all see each other about town, drink at the same places and basically all know each other. Most of us all get along. 

 Two English regulars (guy at far left if Graham)  and Steve (did his hair blond recently) and Julie. Dam I wish I could remember everyone's names. Why can't people wear name tags? heh. 

 

Steve and I ^  My neck looks like one of the Olsen twins in this pic. sigh. 

Another blog, another morning that I am STILL up at 9am. Seriously thinking of going to Thailand for Christmas and New Years. Just a random thought. I need something new; always going to the same places. Just a tad afraid of the mosquitos(sp?), American haters (will I get kid naped and decapitated live on TV? Will a hurricane wash me away? What a pussy I am turning into lately.). If you have been to Thailand, tpell me, where did you go? Where is the best place to go? Not into lady boys and shopping. Clean beaches, good hotels and mostly, where one can feel safe. Yawn, off to bed.

x

Dr. Dot 

Posted on

Liverpool and Love letters

Went to a soccer match last night (it's now 8:25 am and I am still up). Liverpool vs Hertha (Berlin's home team). The score was 0-0 so everyone went home happy; erm, drunk. I didn't drink anything as they only served beer and coke. Never drank a beer in my life, not gonna start now. I took many pictures and even made a video, but they will have to wait a few days to make it on here as I am swamped, as usual. 

I found out the karaoke stripper is Swedish (karaoke bar owner Ron emailed me and told me). No wonder. Those folks LOVE to be naked. ha. The sun has made a brief appearance, so maybe we will finally get a taste of summer here. Not whining, mind you, I like it like this. If it's too hot, the men get too horny and people get cranky, or crankier I should say.

So glad Karadzic was found. Hope they fry his ass in the electric chair. All those people (over 8,000) he had killed. UGH!! Nightmare!! Anyways, the construction workers are already outside my window, making noise, so I have to try to get some sleep now. Tonight was lots of fun, will spill guts asap.

 

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz