Tag: berlin

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Karaoke in Berlin

 
 Jet Li ^
  Jonas ^

Jet Li is in Berlin and called for a massage. I was so EXCITED… until he said it has to be a male. Sigh. So I send my assistant, Jonas  (who massages me every week, so I KNOW Jet is in GREAT hands. I will be adding Jet to our list of “satisfied clients”. Yay!! I guess he feels only a man can give him super deep tissue. Ahem, he has never met me. Hands of steel that heal. Cool

 
   

Last night I visited my friend Ron, an American cult figure here in Berlin. He is a karaoke whore to the extreme. He went so far as to open his own karaoke club (Moster Ronson’s Karaoke bar ). They have karaoke 7 nights a week (he said he LOATHES Bachelorette groups/parties with a passion fyi- they show up already pissed out of their heads (drunk) and don’t buy any drinks at all and hog the mic). Ron’s place is very bizarre. Some men wearing dresses, women wearing motorcycle gear, people arriving at 5am- I guess it never closes. Drinks are dirt cheap and finally, it’s finally smoke free, HUGE song list, I mean EVERYTHING and it’s free to get in and sing. No tourist there at all. Just freaky Berliners.  Is it just me or does that guy above resemble Barney? ^

 
   Karaoke Stripper

 Another cool thing about Ron’s karaoke place, is you just NEVER know what’s gonna go down. Ron announced that this guy, above, in dread locks, will take off his clothes AND swing round the stripper pole for TEN EUROS. He started a collection, asking the crowd to donate, to raise the 10 Euros to have this guy get good and naked and give us a show. Naturally, the Berliners held tight to their pennies.  Fuck that. I just gave him 10 Euro. Get yer kit off, I need entertainment dammit.

 Something me told me this guy has done this before (his female friend sang the Kiss tune “I was made for loving you baby” during the strip. Gene would have vomited. 

 

 

 

 My friend “M”  ^ and I posing for Monster Ron.

M sang some Rocky Horror Picture show (and Pulp and Bowie)  tunes which drove the crowd MAD. I sang some Led Zepp, Rod Stewart and Janis (‘Cry Baby’).

Every 2nd Friday they have karaoke at Oscar Wilde’s Irish Pub on Friedrich strasse  and their sound is THE BEST. Another bonus, NO SMOKING. So your hair and clothes won’t smell disgusting when you get home. HUGE song list, great sound, but LONG WAIT.

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Joe Jackson’s Guide to Berlin

Speaking of Joe Jackson, look at this video he made about Berlin. He is so witty.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1mHVMPb7M8 

 

(don't be fooled by the sun in that ^ video, it's not sunny here lol) 

 

 I think he should have his own travel show. I love the way he words things. Sometimes he tells me of his travels, whilst on tour, and the way he describes things makes me feel like I am there with him, looking at what he his talking about. The smells, sights, moods of the people. Very descriptive and informative. He doesn't take any pictures though, as he "isn't a photographer". He is so modest, low key,  understated, fucking cool but without trying at ALL. 

 

It's gray, cold and moist out, again, here in Berlin. And I have to think that maybe one of my neighbors may have read my blog about no one listening to any hippie music as I woke up at 5pm (yikes) and someone was blasting Janis Joplin's Pearl album. Ha! Nice one! Love it. Perhaps I will go karaoke tonight and sing me some Janis. aaaaaaaaah. Love her.  

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“Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why, you had to hide away for so long”

I feel like Joe Btfsplk  lately. Not because I am dirty or scruffy, but because there is a fucking storm over my head wherever I go. While I was in NYC last time, it was cold and wet the whole time. Everyone said "This is SO weird, as it was gorgeous before you got here". While freezing in NYC, my friends in Berlin bragged about the hot weather and blue skies every day. I get to Berlin and it's fucking raining every day, gray skies and freezing. Wtf? Oh well. I guess one advantage of missing out on the sun is lack of sun damage to the skin. Many ask me how my skin stays so nice. I tell them "I never fucking see the sun". I either sleep too late, work on the computer and get out when it's already dark or wear 50 SPF sunblock if I do get out when the sun is out lol.

 

Anyways, I STILL haven't gotten done uploading all my France and Italy pictures. I mean, why even fucking bother now. UGH. I am so busy, my massage team is growing like MAD  and my sex columns keep me busy too. Then there are my massage clients, friends, 300+ emails a day. OMG, I need a break. Leaving again next month back to NYC for a long haul. I will miss Berlin. Not sure how long I can stay away from it this time as I have really FINALLY grown to love it. Sure, there are things I don't like about it, but you will have that anywhere you go. One good thing about Berlin is there are no forest fires, floods, hurricanes, tornados, earth quakes or many shootings. ha.

 

Jasmine is in town, but I only saw her once. Not happy about that. I find it hard to blog if I am not happy. Why log on here and dump a bad mood on you? I just can't. There is ALWAYS someone in the world that has it worse than you do, so my motto is, if you haven't anything FUN to say, shut up.

Joe Jackson came over this week for a massage. He is probably the only star (no, I forgot, Jerry Garcia too) that I have massaged but never asked for a picture or even an autograph. At this point, Joe and I are friends, so it would just be STRANGE. He, and Jerry, are just not the type. You never even get the feeling of wanting to ask them (yes, I fucking know Jerry is long gone, I mean, when he was alive). They both have this "I am not a star, so don't act like a fan" vibe. It's really cool. Joe doesn't like the whole show biz crap anyways.  He is so down to earth. He loves the Beatles and Zappa as much as I do, so we get on perfectly. Only thing we butt heads over is the smoking vs anti-smoking arguments. He smokes and hates the idea of a smoking ban. I hate smoking and smoky places and LOVE the smoking ban. ha. 

 

Anyhow, here in Berlin I don't massage nearly as much as I do when I am in the USA. There I massage ALL the time until my fingers hurt (and that takes a long time to happen). Berlin is just so laid back and slow paced. No one gives a FUCK about earning money (OR spending any). They really do live for today. Hippie bastards. Ha ha. Just kidding . I am the ONLY cunt in my building that listens to anything even remotely "hippie". The others listen to techno shit. ew. I blast Led Zepp, Beatles and Zappa right back at them. (Frank would roll his eyes if he heard me mention his name in the same paragraph as "hippie". It is 7am and I am still awake. I have a massive sleep disorder. When you work at home, and there is no one nagging you to "come to bed" you can end up working all the time without any structure. But I actually love the fact no one tells me what to do. Freedom is one of the most important things to me.

 

" Give me my freedom for as long as I be.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me,
And all I ask of dying is to go naturally.
Oh I want to go naturally.

And when I die, and when I'm gone,
There'll be one child born
In this world to carry on,
to carry on."  Blood Sweat and Tears

 

x

 

 

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Dr. Dot sets up shop at Cafepress.com

Click Banner to see my cheesy shop ^

With A LOT of help from Crystal, the assistant on the phone at cafepress.com, I opened my own shop to sell merchandise, if/when there is a demand for it. Thing is, every once in a while, people (mostly on myspace) ask me where they can buy a Dr. Dot shirt. For the longest time, Mark, the guy who does my Dr. Dot massage assistant shirts, had them for sale on his shirt site. BUT the Dr. Dot assistant shirt situation keeps him too busy to handle the rare occasion someone orders one of my hand print/lip print shirts. So, the shop is now officially open:  http://www.cafepress.com/drdot

 

One less thing to do 🙂

 

 I watched the Gene Simmons Roast the other night on iTunes. OMG, it was GREAT! Gene took it all like a pro. You can find the file on mininova.org if you can't get it on iTunes.Raining here in Berlin. BUT "I'm only happy when it rains"

And last but not least, Happy Birthday Ringo Kiss

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Venus wins again

Not turning into an avid sports fan, but I am fascinated by the Williams sisters and their success. I listened to the whole game today on the radio, BBC while making my morning fruit shake and breakfast etc.. it was so exciting to have both sisters playing against each other. I wonder what the Brits think of Americans dominating Wimbledon again? Do they hate it or do they just stay mutual and enjoy the game? If I was their Mother I would be so dam proud. These girls are go-getters; I LOVE their ambition and drive.

 Venus is now a seven-time Grand Slam champion and she captured her fifth Wimbledon title by beating her sister Serena 7-5 6-4 in a high-quality final. BRAVO!!!

 

 
   


Today in Berlin some German guy ripped Adolf Hitlers wax head off. WTF? Laughing my ass off. It's the talk of the town today. Guess he had it coming to him. ha. The guy is from Kreuzberg, my neighborhood here in Berlin. Guess all the freaks live here in Kreuzberg 😉

Click HERE to read more about Adolf's decapitation. 

<  Adolf wants head.

I did go to the Hard Cock Cafe last night to eat with the German Vogue journalist, who said she'd never been there. It was fucking LOUD (dumb idea for us to go there on the 4th of July I guess). The service was TOO good, know what I mean? They kept interrupting our conversation, which we had to SHOUT over the music, every 20 seconds. UGH. There is no happy medium here. It's either the waitresses are UP your ass or ignoring you. That place has gone down the fucking tubes. It used to have great food, music, service. Now it just has LOUD crappy music and loud bloated tourists on top of Ice Berg lettuce, which I loathe entirely.

We ate and headed over to the Hyatt hotel for some wonderful red wine. If you want excellent service, eat/drink at the 5 star hotels in Berlin. They HAVE to be nice to you and they have the best food/drinks ever. I eat at the Ritz, Hotel Rome and the Hyatt all the time. I am not a clothing snob (hate fashion) or jewelry snob, but I do spend a lot on good food and wine.

I suppose drinking wine with a journalist isn't a bright idea either. After a couple glasses of wine, things get personal and private information rolls off the tongue. Oooops. Lets hope she has a heart. heh heh. If not, oh well, I already have a room reserved in Hell anyways. JK.

Jasmine alerted me today she is in Sicily. Wot? Jeeze she gets around. When I was her age I was on tour with Frank Zappa. She is just on tour. Oh well, I hope she is safe. It can't be more dangerous than LONDON! I think I should stop watching the news, I get so freaked out over the horror stories happening over there. The two French students that were killed in their flat yesterday.. ugh. I had nightmares about that. The news sucks. Not sure if it's better to hide head in sand or watch the news. If you ignore it, you become ignorant, if you watch it, you become jaded and jumpy. No wonder so many people smoke grass. Being apathetic probably has it's benefits.

 

Recently I was asked to contribute to this book:

The Heavy Metal Book of Lists, to be published in Fall
2009 by Backbeat Books, an imprint of the Hal Leonard Corporation—with
a foreword written by Lemmy of Motörhead! The HMBOL is a follow up to
their recent Punk Rock Book of Lists, by Amy Wallace and Handsome Dick
Manitoba.

Just got done with my list. I listed 11 of the top Heavy Metal Bodies that I have massaged but now I realize I have forgotten a few. Dam. It's hard to decide. Naturally I can't reveal my list but I am just saying, it's going to be a good book. Can't wait for the release party. I was at the Punk Rock Book of Lists party: http://drdot.blog-city.com/nyc_december_2007.htm   < click to read that blog… THAT party was the fucking BOMB. Here I am writing about all this current shit and I STILL have not finished my France and Italy blog. OMFG I feel like SHIT about that. It's nagging away at my conscience. It's on my mental lists of things to do, but with Berlin being so warm and fruity (there are trees in Berlin that smell so incredibly sweet and beautiful, the whole city smells amazing in the spring and summer here, it's intoxicating) it's hard to stay inside and concentrate on such a huge project. I will get it done soon, then I can move on and forget it. Wonder if all writers feel like that sometimes.

Off to bed to watch the Gene Simmons ROAST on iTunes. yes!

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heh heh

 

 

Funny thing about this ^  photo, apart from the obvious, is I swear this pic was taken in Berlin at Wittenberg  Platz, across from KaDeWe. I know this city inside and out 😉 

 

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Happy Independence Day

The 4th of July and Thanksgiving are the hardest days for an American living in Berlin (or anywhere in Europe for that matter) because no one gives a FUCK about those two holidays anywhere but America. Yanks tend to flock together on those two Holidays whilst abroad. It's pissing down cold rain today through a very gray sky and although Motorhead is playing (at an outside gig) tonight, I will probably just avoid too many outdoor activities "When the rain comes, they run and hide their heads, ya might as well be dead, when the rain comes, when the raaaaaaaaaain comes".

I have an interview with a journalist for German VOGUE anyways and would rather just sit with her over a cup of tea in one of hundreds of lovely cafes around my area after I have a well sheltered jog (hat, rain coat, etc). The Hard Rock Cafe is always fun on the 4th and Turkey day, but oh, so many tourist cram in there.. No barbeque's going on that I know of, sigh. Wish I was floating down the Chattanooga River in Georgia in a big inflated tire tube sipping a beverage with the Leckners in the Sun. THAT is my idea of a good 4th of July.

ttyl

x 

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Spain wins

Berlin is very silent tonight apart from a few car loads of Spanish fans honking their horns at their 1-0 victory over Germany. I feel bad for the Germans, they were so supportive and hopeful.

 

Most have been saying "Picking a goalie like Jens Lehmann for the tournament was the worst decision made by trainer Joachim Loew". Doesn't matter now, it's over and done. Oh well, there's always next year..

Congrats Spain, you played an incredible game! 

x 

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He loved it

Berlin is bursting with anticipation today. You can almost hear the people holding their breath whilst awaiting the big football match tomorrow. I will certainly be watching the show, but not on fan-mile, as it's too crowded and unpredictable, as in, you don't know if you're going to get smashed in the face or not.

Thursday MORNING my phone rang at 10 am. Normally I don't hear it as I turn it on silent, but because the night before was a bit wild (that was the night Germany beat Turkey and the wild Exberliner party night) and even though I ONLY drink two glasses of wine when I go out (any more and I end up blowing chunks) I still felt tired as fuck due to all the cig smoke in the air at Kaffee Burger. ANYWAYS, when I come home from a night out, I stay up even later than normal, catching up on the 300+ emails I receive whilst out.

So I had only been sleeping two hours, and they weren't even a good two hours as the construction workers seemed to be tearing down every building within a mile radius of my flat, the concierge of the Adlon hotel called and said the President of Georgia wanted another massage from me RIGHT NOW before his flight at noon. Um, sorry, can't do it.

I am not lazy by no means, but it's easier for me to do a massage at 4 am than at 10 am. 4 am is NO problem, I am still wide awake, full of energy, but 10 am for me is like 3 am for most normal people, who sleep from 10 pm to 6 am. I had to decline and the Pres will either be (1) angry and never talk to me again or (2) take that as a challenge and REALLY invite me to Georgia as he promised to finally get round two of "the best massage" he has ever had in his life. We shall see.  I think this was the first time I said "no" to a hotel here in Berlin, but after two hours of extremely interrupted sleep, the massage would have been half-assed anyways and I would rather to NO massage than a shitty massage.


 
 

Irish gals out on the piss ^  

Was out last night for a bit of karaoke at Oscar Wilde again. Can you believe the two dark haired girls at the top of this ^ picture are 17 years old (left side) and 15 years old (right side)? Well, I also didn't look 15 when I was 15, but it's funny seeing 15 year olds drink beer, as you know in Yank land you have to be 21 to even get into a bar. Berlin is so liberal. I sang 'River Deep Mountain High',  'Stay with me' < Rod Stewart, and 'D'yer Maker' < Led Zepp..  I love to sing but HATE being around drunk people who keep repeating themselves over and over again and there is one guy that is there every time I go there who SWEARS to GOD he is Smokey Robinson. Everyone believes him too- except me.

 

I'm like, fuck right off, if you were Smokey (didn't he die?) then why the fuck are you singing the same two songs every time karaoke is on? He sings "simply the best" by Tina Turner and "kiss" by Prince. Again, I love to sing, but karaoke is a freak magnet. Not sure how much more of it I will take. Ugh. Thing is, I don't like to just go out and drink as I don't drink much, so I have to have something to do, as in table soccer or karaoke, or I get bored. Hanging around in a bar just doesn't appeal to me. Watching a football match is good fun though but still, drunks irk me to no end.

 

Tough for me as I LOVE Rock and Roll but most of the guys who LOVE rock and roll are into drugs, drinking, lying around doing nothing. I love rock and roll, but work out, eat healthy as fuck and don't smoke and barely drink and I am as ambitious as Donald Trump (not as rich, just as ambitious) ha! Boo fucking hoo, I don't fit in. ha ha. Gotta run, it's gorgeous out

x 

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Germany wins over Turkey

       

 ^ "fan mile" (in background you can see the Adlon Hotel where Michael Jackson dangled the baby out the window AND where I massaged the President the other night).

 

I am sure you heard it already, but last night Germany won over Turkey in football (soccer to the yanks) 3-2. It was a close game the whole time, super exciting!!!

Martina, my preggy gal pal, is lovin' her extra cleavage ^ I found it hard to look in her eyes whilst talking to her with such lovely optical distractions right in front of me, now I know how it must feel to be a man

Martina (my pregnant girlfriend) and I went and watched it in Oscar Wilde Irish pub, which is normally a peaceful place, BUT last night hard core German football hooligans, all with shaved heads, Doc Martin boots and Nazi symbols filled the place. At first there were just ten of them and it was funny watching them scream and shout and carry on, but then 20 or so more piled in and it got scary. Martina is German and said the songs and chants they were belting out were old German Nazi songs. The other Germans in the place were also getting very very uncomfortable with this, but even the owner and bar tenders were petrified of them, so no one could do anything. It was even too crowded to leave at one point. The shit really hit the fan when the power went out. There was a massive storm in Basel which caused a disruption of video footage, which means, all over the world, people who were watching it live, had to watch a blank screen for a few minutes during the match, and that happened 4 times, which created even more anticipation and frenzies galore.

 

 
   

Every time there was a goal from either side, stools went flying, beer was tossed everywhere (Martina and I were dressed in girly dresses and little strappy sandals and got SOAKED). There is no stopping these guys. A few took off their shirts and showed they had Nazi ( swastikas  ) all over them as well as this one: 

Every country has it's nationalists, but this is the closest I have been to the chaos they bring. Sometimes it seems football and nationalism go hand and hand together, sigh. This one hooligan KEPT spilling beer down Martina's back (who is 7 months pregnant) and I asked him to back up and be careful and he just screamed at us and made obscene hand gestures. Scary guys.

 One of the Jewish waitresses was off duty and sitting with us during the whole match, she was not amused. Anyways, not sure how the Turks dealt with losing as there were NO TURK supporters what so ever in that pub, or on the streets in that area afterwards. I am sure they are pissed off, gutted, sad. However, the Germans are in the BEST mood ever, the sun is shining and Berlin is heaven on earth at the moment (if Jasmine was here it would be even better, but she is still in Italy). 

 

Lots of great concerts coming up again here in Berlin, Motorhead, Radio Head, etc.. I will never be able to decide between NYC and Berlin. I just can't. I love them both. So instead of me trying to decide, I decided not to decide. Less pressure. ha! Next month the official smoking ban will be enforced ( I will believe it when I see it) then Berlin would be even BETTER. The Oscar Wilde pub is smoke free; LOVES IT! But "Kaffe Burger " where we went after the match to help the Exberliner celebrate it's 6th anniversary, was smoky as fuck. Oh, it's predominantly men there, and even being 7 months pregnant< Martina & I were getting hit on non-stop. So, if you are a lady and looking for a man in Berlin, head to Kaffe Burger. jeeze!!