Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..
Q.
My Fiancé says he is scared he can't have kids because his cum looks
like water. What is this caused by & is he able to have kids still? He has not had a sex drive since his ex gave his baby up for adoption. When we do have sexual intercourse he only last 5-15 mins. Not amused!
Quickie Queen
A.
Sperm consistency always varies. Diet, exercise and frequency of sex can all dictate how thick or watery his juice will be.
Sperm is constantly being made. Even if he just shot his load, a new batch is already in the making and you never know if it will be clear, cloudy, thin or chunky style.
Semen quantity differs among individuals and can also change during different times of a man’s life. Older men usually make a milky or pearly-white spunk and if the guy doesn't empty his balls regularly, it can turn a bit yellow and get really thick like clam (OMG!) chowder. A lot of factors go into the appearance and consistency of semen, including diet and ejaculation frequency. Changing any of these can alter the way your semen looks.
A nocturnal ejaculation may have more prostate fluid in it (which is whiter and thicker),
while a daytime ejaculation may have more sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles, which tends to be clearer and less viscous. You say he already produced a child, so I would tell him not to worry about being impotent AND you say his sperm is very watery, so if he isn't fucking you, he must be wanking a lot, when you aren't around. This may help him feel (1) Good (2) In control. Since he lost control of his child, wanking may make him feel in control of at least his cock. If he is that afraid, he should go to the Doctor and have it checked out but I think it would be a waste of time and money and make an already tense, unfortunate situation become that more tense, hence killing his sex drive even more. Just avoid talking about it and give him some sexy back rubs while wearing some hot undies. Try to have him get you off before he even attempts one of those 5 minute in and out escapades. Tsk Tsk!
Q.
Why is it I can only cum when I think about my husband having sex with his ex girlfriends? Any details he has given me race through my head and I act them out while fucking him and that is the ONLY way I can get off. I’ve never told him as I am afraid he would think I am nuts.
Am I?
Pervy Pam
A.
Wanting to love your partners past, right down to the juicy parts is nothing to be ashamed or freaked out about.
A lot of people have to let their mind wander while fucking to cum, as sometimes the here and now is either
too much or too little and letting your imagination take over to get yourself off is a common pastime. I think
it means you are just very into his sexuality and imagining him fucking other girls is a turn on. A few people
I know have admitted to doing the same thing, just relax and enjoy your home made, in-house porn.
Q.
I am also a massage therapist and want your opinion. Sometimes when I massage male clients,
they do obnoxious things that make me feel very awkward. For example, some point their penis
South when they lay on their stomachs and I massage their back and back of their legs.
I then have to look at their cock the whole time and this grosses me out. Another popular
antic is some men lift their asses up off the table so they are almost kneeling. What the hell?
This makes me so nervous, I am thinking of just massaging females from now on.
Miss Massage
A.
Simply ask the client to “Please point your member North so I don’t accidentally graze it
with my short fingernails” should frighten their cock as soon the words leave your mouth.
If they moan about it, insist you can’t concentrate and/or cover “it” with the sheet/towel
and only work on one side at a time, keeping his jewels covered. You could be cheeky and say
“Look, it’s bad enough I have to see your balls squished onto my massage table, do us a favor
and pack your meat up under your belly”. Humor helps in stiff situations. If they have their
ass up in the air, it means their ass is an attention whore, so why let it down? Put one
hand on top of your other hand and use full force when slamming his ass down onto the table.
He will get the message loud and clear without you even speaking. If he asks, tell him it’s
the “Slam dunk method”.
Q.
For a year I have been seeing someone I have many things in common with, except I don't smoke pot
or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety. He always made me feel beautiful, respected and
pursued. He always made the calls and arranged the dates. But, he has made it clear to me he
doesn't like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger. Once Saturday night we went
out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave. He took a walk with the boyfriend and left
me with his sister. When the boyfriend returned 15 minutes later he was alone. My boyfriend
stayed in another part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing by himself. He
stayed away almost an hour and I found him just because I was looking for something to do. His sister
had to set up her own band. He came over to me buy I was livid. When he realized I was angry he froze me
out of the conversation later when the 4 of us ordered drinks at the bar. I was hurt and angry the
rest of the night. When our date was over he was annoyed at my anger. He didn't call me for 2 weeks.
Then we exchanged a few emails, he called Easter and on my birthday. I couldn't see him the day he
invited me to celebrate my birthday over a week ago, and I haven't heard from him since. Should I
let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can't never get angry.
Fed Up Franny
A.
As nice as he may be, this ganja smoking Peter Pan is lost in his
own little never-never land. He can’t behave anyway
he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest
child or a spoiled only child who always got his way.
I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on
eggshells your whole life long (exhausting!). If you really can’t live
without this sensitive control freak, let him do all the work, all of
the contacting and planning. Trying to turn a pot head/pill popper
into a caring, thoughtful partner is an uphill battle. He sounds about
as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house.
Q.
Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me?
Burning Bush Kate
A.
Think back. Did all of your other lover’s spunk burn you? If you have
both been tested for STD’s and came out clean, this could be mother
natures way of saying "this guy is not the right one for you". Smell
and the way one makes you feel can really say a lot about a lover.
“Love” should feel great, not painful and like someone used a flame
thrower on your snatch.
Q.
On a recent night out with the girls, I fell ill and came home much earlier than I had planned
only to walk in on a horrifying scene. I am almost too embarrassed to even write it. My
husband was letting our dog lick his balls in the bathroom. I almost fainted when I saw this.
He poured chocolate sauce all over his testicles, making a huge mess on the floor and
submitted our poor dog to a crude act. I left and slept at my sisters house and instead of
being able to pour my heart out, I just can't get the courage to tell anyone but you. I am back at
home now but things are awkward between my man and I; I am hurt, angry and confused.
I feel he has cheated on me, but has he? I mean is that cheating? Is that sick enough that I should leave him?
Should he see a shrink? He claims he was just bored.
Humiliated Hannah
A.
*NOTE: This is the kind of question that makes people think I make them up but I don’t, the world is just full of horn dogs* Sigh.
If you really love him and this is the only problem, you may want to start licking his balls so your
dog doesn't have to do it anymore.. Everyone does daft, embarrassing things and you just happened to walk in on one of his.
Not cool using animals for sexual pleasure but life goes on. Buy a rubber tablecloth and some sugar free chocolate sauce
(to avoid any yeast infections) and show him you too, can lick his chocolate covered balls.
