Ask Dr. Dot (September 6, 2008)
Feel free to send me your questions about love, sex and relationships. Don't be shy, I always change the names, your secret is safe with me ๐
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Q.
I have been dating this really special guy (age 30) for 6 months. We took our time getting to know each other and have been having sex for the last two months.
Last time we were shagging, I got on top and squatted on his cock and apparently slammed down on it the wrong way or too hard, or something and he stopped me and said his dick hurts. We couldn't continue, even though we tried, as he was in
pain and his prick was swollen. He left and sent me a text message a few hours later and said he was in the emergency room as I had broken his dick! He stayed in there THREE days and the worst part of all of this is he told his parents, as they needed to bring him clothes and I haven't even MET them yet. I am horrified. How can I continue seeing this man and how should I behave if I meet the parents? SOS!
Vicious Vagina
A.
Oddly enough, I have broken a cock before too. It DOES happen. Telling his parents
means he is an open, honest guy who obviously has a good relationship to his folks,
which is a good think (he could have lied and said he did it while wanking). The best
way to handle this situation is with humor. If/when you meet them, don't apologize
for fucking their son so hard you snapped his willy in half, just leave it and if THEY
mention it, make a little joke like "yes, we were "driving" recklessly that evening"
and let it slide. They are probably proud of their son for being open, honest and having
wild sex like they surely used to.
Q.
I am a 31-year-old brother and my girlfriend, age 23 and I got engaged 3 months ago. Recently she got all dolled up and went out with the girls. They went out dancing and she came home around 3am in a giggly, sexy mood and I am pleased she had fun. We start making out and she says she needs to go to the bathroom. I could hear the shower going so I go in to surprise her. She was washing her pussy and a load of cum was sliding down her leg. I wiped it off and smelt it. It was 100% cum! I stormed out and slept over one of my homies houses. DEVASTATED DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL. I demanded the truth and she admitted EVERYTHING; some guy bought her drinks, she sat in his lap and he felt up her legs and arse then he got his dick out under her skirt and she sat on it. Later they fucked again out the back of the club. Of course she used the “drunk" excuse. She has apologized 50 times already. I don't know what the fuck to do.
Shittin’ Kittens
A.
Although I am aware that being 100% physically true is almost impossible, she crossed the line by putting you in GREAT danger. Had you not walked in and snatched the cum wad from her thigh, you would have never known. She can’t be trusted. The worst part is she didn't use a condom. This cannot be tolerated. If she that ignorant and irresponsible that she can go fuck a stranger in a bar without a condom, why would you want to keep her around? If you stay with her your self-esteem, confidence and most importantly your life will be in constant state of fear and danger. Show the whore the door.
Q.
My boyfriend and I have great sex but whenever he is about to ejaculate he withdraws and wanks over my tits or face or stomach. He very rarely comes inside me. I have never had an orgasm with him because he always withdraws and wanks over me. I am then left feeling frustrated. I have been with him 2 years but don’t know how to talk to him about this. He watches a lot of porn and I think that because most of the porn he watches this is what the blokes do, he thinks that is the norm.
Frustrated Fiona
A.
Men shoot their spunk over a woman for numerous reasons (1) In their subconscious they may think
the girl won't get pregnant if they pull out (2) It's fun to watch themselves mark their territory
(3) They are curious as to how exactly big that batch is.
He should be grateful he has such a good sport as a partner as some girls would get offended when a man sprays his baby gravy all over them. I am guessing he never asks about you having an orgasm and if not, you should learn to speak your mind. The fact that he is doing something that annoys you is partly your fault because how the fuck is he supposed to know it bothers you if you don't speak up? I assume he isn't a mind reader.
Just come right out and say, "Darling, would you stay with a girl who can't make you cum?” Then he will probably give you a dirty look and answer, "fuck no! why?" then you say, "well, I know it's
my fault for not saying anything, but I never, ever cum with you, in fact I would prefer you cum IN me sometimes, not just on me, so lets try something different please". If you don't whip up the courage
to say something, then you deserve to just be his loving cum rag.
Q.
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind. In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back. I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it. I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda
A.
You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patience and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.
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