Tag: columnist

Q.

My girlfriend and I broke up last Summer when she moved to Asia. But for the last year that we
 were living together we didn't have sex I started watching porn to satisfy myself. Now that I am
dating again, I seem to have a harder time staying stiff when I am with a woman. I don't have a
difficult time when I'm watching porn though. Obviously, I can get an erection. Am I addicted
 to porn, or have I just developed the beginnings of ED? What can I do to figure this out?
I just don't know what's normal anymore. I never had this problem in my life.
Softie Sal

A.
"ED"? Wtf does that stand for? Eating disorder? Exiguous Dick?
It could be your penis is rebelling. He is pissed the fuck off he lived with
a pussy for a year and didn't have any access at all, only your hand was there for him. Now he
 is showing YOU who's boss. Take control again and retrain him.  Your cock is spoiled by
your over tentative hand. No one can fuck you like you and porn if fun but it can make men lazy.
 There is no need for bringing your hand out to dinner, giving it compliments or foreplay.
Porn provides the scene and your hand provides the "pussy". Time to break up the monotony
 and prepare for real pussy. Cut back a bit on the porn and wank once a day
 instead of 4 times a day for example. It's hard for a normal girl to compete with a Double-Penetration-hungry
 porn star on her first date. Try to start all over again, getting excited over a date, her smell, glimpse of cleavage,
possibility of a first kiss, the anticipation, and the foreplay when it finally comes. Kind of like putting a fat
 kid on a diet, even though it's parents own a Haagen Daz ice cream shop. It must be done.

Q.
I am a randy young woman, with a slammin' sex life. What bothers me though is
how often I have to put the breaks on spicy make out sessions when it comes to
the penetration point. Most of the time, the men I make out with don't have condoms
but still want to fuck. Naturally I say no and they either are upset that I don't have
any on me or that I won't let them shag me without a condom. Why are men so
willing to dive into an unknown pussy without protection? Is it because I look
so innocent or are they just dumb? And is it our job as females to suddenly be
the condom machine?
Pissed off Patti

A.
They may be so willing to dive in without protection because
they’ve probably been lucky so far, not having experienced a STD
that turned their cock purple with red spots or having knocked up a girl
on a one night stand. These fearless, horny buggers who, thanks to
their raging hard on, aren't thinking at all. I’d be lying if I said protected sex feels
better than bareback but you have to protect yourself from Aids, STDs and pregnancy,
unless you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship.
A man expecting the lady to carry condoms is as arrogant as it is ignorant.
We don't own a cock, so we shouldn't have to tote rubbers around; they
don't own a pussy and shouldn't have to supply us with tampons. Next time
you get busy with a man who hasn’t any protection,
 take a walk to the corner shop together and make him buy condoms. This will
 teach him that you are a safe, responsible,
yet fun and eager. Great combo.

Q.
I’m 18, I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before although there’s
a girl in my life currently who I really want to date. I’m totally straight, there’s no
question about that and I love being a man. The thing is that I like dressing up in
women’s clothes. I don’t know what it is that  makes me do it but I can't help it.
 What makes it worse is the fact that they’re my sister’s clothes. I don’t feel anything
 sexual towards her at ALL.
I want to stop but whenever I try and resist the temptation, I fail. I always tell myself
'right you’re not going to dress up' then 5 minutes later I am admiring myself dressed up.
 Would any girl be completely scared off by this sort of thing if I tried to tell her about it?

Dressed up Dan

A.
You may as well just embrace your fetish now and get it over with, rather than struggling with it
for years, going to therapy which you don't need, blah blah blah. We ALL have our weird sides,
and I mean everyone. Young girls may not understand this habit of yours, but older women will.
Thing is, you shouldn't change for anyone. You like the feel and look of women's clothes on your
body and who can blame you? Our clothes look and feel sexier than men's clothes. Perhaps this
is your cue to take up a career in Fashion. Lots of straight men make ladies clothes and I know
quite a few straight men; some rock stars even, which love to cross dress in private. It's not a
a big deal, honest. There is no sense in hiding things from the girls you choose to date. Don't tell
them until you are sure you can trust them and you can even make it fun like when you are both
naked before/after sex, just get up and try her clothes on; it will surely make her giggle. Make her
try your clothes on as well. Don't sit them down for a serious chat about your habit, just slowly
weave it into things. I am sure they have strange habits they keep from you as well. Life would
be boring as fuck if we were all just plain, boring and straight laced. Be proud that you're different.

Q.
A lot of my exes, past lovers and current girlfriend wouldn't let me make them cum. Why is this?
I get them right to it and they stop me. Do or did they want us to cum together maybe?
 Or with my most recent ex, she was very shy. Maybe she was shy about cumming in front of me?
Honestly, their climax is  more important to me than my own and I wanted to know what you have
 to say about it.

Climax Carl

A.
It could be a control issue, afraid to lose control and hand it over to you. Maybe they can't let their hair down,
have fun and give into pleasure. Sometimes, women never find out HOW to cum. It's obviously not as easy
for girls to cum as it is for guys. Since everyone is different, the only way you will find out, is by asking each
girl you get in the sack. Just come right out
and ask them if it happens again. Say, ""Can you make yourself cum?” If she says "yes" then ask her to show
 you how she does it. Bed is no place to be shy or afraid to ask questions.

Q.
Hoping your advice will save my love life. I have always been the giver in my
relationship and now I am thinking of asking my woman to marry me. We have an outrageous sexy life and have been together for 2 years and we still make each other crazy in bed. I love her a lot but she has sometimes been unkind. She is demanding and no matter how much I give, it never seems to be enough. Her attitude does turn me on but I wonder if she will ever treat me a bit better, like if I ask for her hand in marriage. I would marry her but wonder if this will give away all my power?
Every time I pull away from her she tries to pull me back. I feel like
things have come to a head and its do or die. Should I pop the question? (I swear I treat her soooooo good.)

Whipped Woody

A.
Everyone is "unkind" now and then. If you think marriage
will change things, you need to get a grip. If you find yourself
pulling away from her, then marrying her is a stupid idea.
Marriage is not even necessary anymore. People do not
need a contract to love one another. A big party to celebrate
your love and commitment should satisfy everyone's need
to wear tacky dresses and receive presents from friends and
family, but why the contract? The very thing that people
think will make them feel like they've "sealed the deal" is the
same thing that leaves them craving for regular sex, which
seldom occurs in a marriage, hence the fact that most marriages
end in divorce anyways. If she is mean to you, grow some balls
and ask her why. If things don't improve, move on and find
a woman who loves a giver (there are plenty of them out there).

Q.

I am a 23 year old female, and was wondering if you had any suggestions as to
how to make "doggy style" feel better for me. For some reason, when my fiancé
and I try this, it is uncomfortable EVERYTIME. Sometimes painful, sometimes just
flat out UNCOMFORTABLE! I know He loves it, as he keeps asking me to do it, so we need to perfect this.

Any tips?! thanks!

Don’t-like-the-Doggy Daisy

A.
I am guessing your man has a long schlong. You can try it standing, and cross
your legs tight when he is in you, to be able to control how deep and hard he
prods you but squeezing his cock with your pussy (crossed legs make the grip
tighter). If you do it on the bed, tell him to go in you, and then carefully lie flat
On your stomach, with him in you, and again, close your legs together tightly
And cross your legs. He will love the tighter grip and you will love the fact
He isn't playing pool with your ovaries anymore. If it STILL hurts, try to keep
One hand on the base of his cock while he fucks you to control how deep he
Goes. If none of that works, stop doing it doggy style. Get on top of him and
squat on him so you can control the pressure. You may have a cyst or two on
your ovaries, which is very common. You can either have them removed or
start taking the pill, which pretty much makes them disappear.