I have been back in Berlin now for 5 days and I was already feeling like a stranger, amongst the bitchy Berliner's and the gray skies until I crossed the street near my house in Kreuzberg, heard "Watch out where the Huskies go" playing VERY loudly in an older man's car. I looked at him and smiled, then I felt ok again. Ok, I am not alone, I am not the only one listening to cool music here. Little things about Berlin make it feel so far from home, like going to one of the biggest book shops here, on the MAIN drag, called the Ku'Damm (this shop could be compared to a big Barnes and Noble or Virgin Record store, on a main street which could be compared to 5th ave) – anyways, I went there today to buy a gadget that you can stick your iPod into and listen to it out loud (like the one Lemmy got from Phil in my Motorhead blog) and I was ready to plunk down a decent amount of cash for this thing and when it was time to pay, they said "oh, we don't take credit cards" (well, they said it in German ). I was like, oh you are kidding right? No, they were not kidding. A GIANT shop,with 3 floors, that has cds. dvds, iPods etc. and they don't take credit cards. WTF? No wonder Germany and Berlin in particular is in debt. Also, you have to hunt high and fucking low to find a fucking ATM machine (cash machine). Guess they really don't want your money, let them squirm. I said forget it, as I couldn't be bothered to go down 3 floors, and out side to the nearest bank to get cash. I am just happy the Holidays are over, aren't you? Jesus! All that pressure to buy shit for people you love, to prove to them you love them by buying shit for them. The Christmas trees, wrapping paper, all that food, the closed shops… I am happy the shit is over. It's all commercial brainwashing to get you to spend, spend, SPEND. It stresses everyone out and I just don't see why we buy into it year after year. If you are over 10 years old, you don't need a fucking present. Get over it.
Moving right along, last month I went to see and meet (and touch) Placebo. I wouldn't know a Placebo song if it came up and slapped me in the fucking face. But hey, I did have a look and listen to the show for about 5 minutes and they sounded great. I liked them better than Tool heh heh.
.
< Nice stache
This pic ^ was taken before the show. Try to ignore the fact I am dressed like a Welches grape.
I was in the production office before the show, hanging with their tour manager, Quinner whom I have known for about 14 years and a couple German journalist from the dreaded "BZ" were suddenly alone with me in the office. They asked me if I was going to massage them and all that. Steph, the Swedish guitarist came in and sat down to do an interview with them. I sat there and listened. They asked him the dummest fucking crap I have ever heard. "do you like sex, drugs and rock and roll?" was the first one. "Do you like to have sex with groupies?" was the second one. The guy, Steph was like "WTF?!". He was trying so hard to be polite, but he is not the type to be overly happy-go-lucky and his patients was running thin. I felt so bad for him. The journalist said "we are sorry, but our boss said we MUST ask these questions". This was like the 6th interview they had given that evening and the dumb questions grow old fast.
It is NOT all fun and games being a musician on the road. I would say it's about 3 hours of fun per day and the rest is boring,tedious , annoying and hard work. Been there a bit with my band and I was like "uh, no". Touring is the worst, I feel so sorry for people who tour all the time, in fact, if you want to make any money in the music biz, it only happens with touring and merchandising. So I figure they deserve a kick ass massage. I didn't earn much that night but it was REALLY fun.
< The singer
I heard the singer is from Scotland and lived a long time in the USA as well, so he has an American accent but he said "only when I talk to you Americans". He was super polite, friendly and charming. I liked him. But by far, my favorite was the drummer, Steve. He is from Manchester, UK and has my favorite markings: light eyes, dark hair. He is mad into Hendrix and when he saw from my flyer that I had massaged Vinnie Colaiuta , he was very impressed. He said he was jealous that I got to meet him, let alone touch him. I showed him the videos I made of Vinnie during the recent Herbie Hancock sound check and he nearly fainted.
Oh well, I guess I should listen to a bit of Placebo before I meet up with them again, if you have any suggestions as to what their best song is or best cd, a starter kit or so, let me know.
I miss NYC badly, can't wait to return. I was only there for 10 days and went out 8 nights. I have to hang low and recover now. I am working on a monster blog, a NYC blog. it is taking FOREVA! (read that with a New Englander accent please). I have to get to bed and watch some more "Meerkat Manor", I am hooked… nite nite
I am happy to say our team is growing, slowly but surely. Of course, if we didn't go through the trouble of screening and testing each Massage Therapist on our team, we would have one in every town, world wide. However we insist on auditioning every one on our team to insure top quality service. Quality, not quantity is what the Dr. Dot massage team is about. Read below about Aisha, who has hands of STEEL and never tires.
Thanks..
Dr. Dot
Bon jour! My Name is Aisha. I am a Certified Massage Therapist living in the Philly area. I'm available 24/7 and willing to go on tour.
My specialties are Swedish, Deep Tissue, Reflexology, Myofascial, Trigger points, Prenatal and PNF. I also perform spa techniques.
I am very excited and appreciative for the opportunity to be working with the famous Dr. Dot.
I was introduced to Massage Therapy when I was registering to go back to school for Graphic Communications and the head counselor asked me
"Have you ever thought of massage therapy?" So I decided to give it a shot. From the beginning I'm loved it and have been relieving tension ever since. I have been told that I have a great touch and a natural gift. I love all types of music; you can catch me listening to Jazz, Rap, and R&B, Classical, Heavy Metal, Pop and Rock. Some of my favorite bands are The Killers, Maroon 5, Jay-Z and Mariah Carey. I believe that music is also therapeutic for the simple fact that it can put you in a good mood or bring it down. With that being said, Thank you for your interest and I look forward to working with you. Peace Out!
< This video caught my eye and I've been a fan ever since
Tuesday, Sept 12th, 2006 Berlin (Kreuzberg) Germany at the club KATO..
line up:
headliners: Motion City Soundtrack
OK GO (stole the show from headliners)
The Hard Lessons (were amazing!)
< Sound check
I normally shy away from new music, it's hard to win me over, as I am so taken by the classics, you know, Zappa, Beatles, Roger Waters/Pink Floyd, Zeppelin, Hendrix, The Stones, The Who, etc…. but once in a while I hear or see something new that impresses me and this band, OK GO is very impressive. I saw their amazingly simple, yet utterly entertaining video out of the corner of my eye while at my desk in NYC just a few weeks ago. I turned up the volume and watched in awe.
They have so much enthusiasm, energy and humor… the music, text, moves, the whole concept is really cool in my opinion. It's no wonder they were asked to perform this video
live recently at the MTV Video Music awards…
last month in NYC. They had the tread mills on stage and all. Their video came out so late in the year, it was too late for it to be submitted for an award, THIS year. I hope they win a prize next year and I hope this vid isn't just forgotten about by then. The singer, Damian, told me his sister came up with the idea/choreography for this video and their video called in the Back Yard dancing (equally cool): < Video for their song "A million ways"
< Tim the bass player is really fun to talk to
The band is super friendly, but not in a superficial way. They are just fun people, very sharp witted and energetic, a breath of fresh air into the music industry.
I got to watch the sound check then I started massaging them all (everyone except the drummer( Dan) had a brutal massage from me). ..
DAN the man ^
The band isn't flirty at all, no one drinks much, no drugs, they are very focused and VERY into what they are doing. They are all extremely talented and if you think they are an overnight sensation, you are wrong. They have been a band for over 7 years and are just now enjoying WELL DESERVED success. I know, it sounds like I am kissing their asses, but if you have been reading my blog for years, you have read rather unfriendly reviews of certain bands too, so I am not always so nice, I only give compliments when I like what I see/hear.
..
The guitarist Andy ^ looks a tad like a young David Gilmour and the singer ^ Damian, is ridiculously GORGEOUS. Andy during sound check ^
< The Anvil, KoKo and Augie
^ The Hard Lessons, seconds before show time
( I LOVE that magic moment, RIGHT before the artists take to the stage, it's so full of energy, it makes me high)
The first band to go on were the Hard Lessons ^ I was really impressed by their sound. She has a VERY soulful voice and played her ass off, all the while dancing in dangerous pumps. She and the guitarist/singer are engaged and the drummer, who calls himself "the Anvil" is a little cutie pie, I really kicked his ass after the show. Drummers always need a deep tissue massage, it really helps them stay flexible. He asked me to marry him, heh heh… some do blurt out marriage proposals during a great back rub 🙂
Tim ^ sitting next to his friend from LA. Her name is Kelsey (spelling?) and she is back packing around Europe. So pretty that it makes you *sigh* to meet her. No make up AT ALL, no hair styling, just plain gorgeous (and super cool by the way). See that picture of Damian holding a piece of paper? ^
I gave him a German lesson before the show (a lot of artist ask for that). He wanted to learn how to say on stage:
"Hallo Leute, wir sind OK GO!" (hello people, we're OK GO)
then they played a few songs and he spoke again:
"Wie gehts? Tut mir leid, ich kann kein Deutsch. Ich bin nur eine Doof Ami" (how is everyone? Sorry, I can't speak any German, I'm just a dumb American)
Later on in the show he showed off, randomly a few other words I taught him like how to say Sour Cream, Spoon, Fork, etc.. just random stuff.. lol
It's a good thing he threw that "I'm just a dumb American" out there, as Germans, in general, hate us Americans. Since BUSH was voted into the office, they LOATHE
us with a passion and it's really unfair. I don't hate all Germans for the nasty things they have done in the past, so they should chill the fuck out and just live and let live.
Anyways, saying something like "I'm a dumb American" just made the crowd love him, somehow pointing out one's weakness endears people to you even more.
Like if you are really fat, you could say to your girlfriend/boyfriend "man, it must be hell looking at me". This will disarm them and make them laugh and embrace your humor and honesty. Europeans love this cheeky, twisted sense of humor…
A view from on stage ^ … It was pretty full considering there was NO PROMOTION AT ALL for this show, which was on a Tuesday night.
I swear, not one poster, flyer, mention on a radio station, NOTHING was done to promote this show. Right before the show,
a guy who works at the club, came out and taped a tiny poster on the window "Tonight, Motion City Soundtrack".
( OK GO covered ELO's "Don't bring me down" with perfection)
I told the lads that I found it odd they are part of the opening act and not headlining BUT not that odd, because that happens in Europe all the time! I saw Robert Plant
OPEN for Lenny Kravitz here. That would NEVER happen in the USA, where Robert is a Rock GOD. I've also seen Wide Spread Panic play to about 20 people (all Americans that flew over to see them play here in Berlin). But OK GO played with so much enthusiasm and perfection, you would think there would have been 20,000 fans egging them on. That is pure professionalism. I have to admit I didn't even see one second of the Motion City Soundtrack set. I was too busy massaging Andy's feet and Damian's back (did I mention how beautiful this man is?). You know me, I don't flirt with (a) artists (b) taken men but I can still swoon.
from left to right: Damian, Toby and Augie, the singer/guitarist of the Hard Lessons, Augie ^
Ok, Toby, the guitarist for my band, Bitchfest is a HUGE OK GO fan (since 2 years). He really really wanted to get backstage to meet Tim. He loves the whole band, but
really wanted to meet his hero, Tim. So the band agreed and I brought him backstage. Toby was in heaven and the band really enjoyed talking to him (which is amazing, as most bands want females only around them backstage, but this band is super cool).
< Tim and Danielle (with Dave, the English roadie in the background)
Damian is eye and ear candy ^ (note: he isn't vain or arrogant at ALL)
It was Tim's idea to pose in such a cool manner ^ Tim is fucking hilarious, luv him! You can see Danielle and Damian snacking on cheese in the background 🙂
So, if OK GO is coming to a town near you, please go check them out, you will see how fabulous they are…. very fun, very danceable, very unique. Here are their tour dates:
09.18.06 Bristol University Bristol 09.19.06 Uni Solus Cardiff 09.20.06 Wulfrun Hall Wolverhampton 09.21.06 Newcastle University Newcastle 09.22.06 Manchester Academy Manchester 09.24.06 ABC Glasgow 09.25.06 Metropolitan University Leeds 09.27.06 Pyramid Centre Portsmouth 09.28.06 The Astoria London 10.08.06 The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion The Woodlands TX 11.26.06 Eagles Ballroom Milwaukee WI 11.27.06 The Pageant Saint Louis MO 11.28.06 Orpheum Theatre – Memphis Memphis TN 11.29.06 Republic New Orleans New Orleans LA 11.30.06 Hobby Center for The Performing Arts – Sarofim Hall Houston TX
A few days later, I went with Danielle to Tacheles. She has been in Berlin for 10 months already (she is from Canada) and still hasn't been there. tsk tsk.
So I brought her and she was well into it… Click ^ on the word Tacheles to read about this joint, you have to visit it if you pass through Berlin..
It was a buidling taken over by squatters, but now it's an organized art hang out..
< I am taller than her, but the steps make me look like her mini me.
Berlin is in "Indian Summer" mode at the moment, super warm, sunny, and, ahem, MOIST! 😉
Pic I took of Frank and his son Ahmet during sound check in Long Island 1988 ^
(note: Ahmet is sadly not on the tour)
Monday ( May 22nd) was one of the best days I have had in years. I saw the ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA show . You must know by now that I am pretty much obsessed with Frank Zappa’s music, so seeing Frank’s son, Dweezil, play his fathers music with perfection was pretty much heaven on earth. My obsession started LONG ago when I was a child. My Father (well, he adopted me when I was 1 year old, so he is my Father) is to this day a huge Zappa fan. Chet raised me on Zappa music, and my Mom constantly played the Beatles when he was out. My hippie aunts (both really young, in fact, my Mom was 16 when she was preggy with me and my Dad was 17 when he adopted me) always played Janis Joplin and Zeppelin when I was around. The house was pretty much a hippie flop house ( “every town must have a place where phony hippies meet, psychedelic dungeons popping up on every street” Frank Zappa). So, out of all that music, I really hung onto the Zappa and Beatles the most, as you can see.
Zappa was not only the best musician I know of, but his lyrics are so funny, they make me literally roll on the floor with laughter when I hear them. What a great combo, what a RARE combo. My Dad brought me to several Zappa concerts when I was a young whipper snapper, and I am grateful for this, thank you Dad! At one of the shows he got me a Zappa t-shirt that said ” Tittie’s and Beer”, which is the name of one of his songs. I wore it to school the next day (I was in the 7th grade) and the teachers were “not amused” and I was sent home. Frank has never been mainstream. I mean, how many times have YOU heard Frank on the radio? Seen him on TV? Not often. People who are into Frank were usually turned onto him by someone who cares. It’s mostly through word of mouth that you hear of Frank, that’s why I spend so much time preaching him, I want to turn as many folks onto Zappa’s music as possible, it’s that amazing.
In 1988, I went on Zappa’s “Broadway the Hardway” tour and never asked for a penny for massaging Frank and the rest of his giant band. I made it clear, I wasn’t “only in it for the money”. I told Frank and co. that I would massage them for free and my payment would be the honor to see every sound check and show for free. Sooo , I got to see their sometimes 3 hour long sound checks and shows every night, it was PARADISE. Yes, I was missing classes and pissing off parental units but I didn’t give a fuck. This was much more important. Hey, I even got to eat their catering, so it was all good. Frank was very fun to be around, I was in awe the whole time, but tried my best to hide it. Me and about 4 other Zappa freaks got to sit in the empty hall during sound check and during their Portland Maine sound check, I accidentally let out one of my MONSTER BURPS. When I drink Diet Coke, all hell breaks loose. AnyWHO, I let one rip and Frank (who had his back to the empty venue while he was conducting his band) turned around, leered at us, and said “which one of you did that?”. Naturally the other Zappa fans who were somehow connected and lucky enough to be watching the masters sound check turned on me and all pointed at me. I turned NEON RED and raised my hand sheepishly and said with a , squeaky, cracking voice “it was me”.
Frank motioned to me and said “come here, come up here” and pointed to the stairs on the side of the stage. I reluctantly went to him, like I was going to lay my neck down on a wooden block, waiting for the blade. The whole band was watching impatiently and Frank had me come right up to him and said “could you do that again into the sampler?”. I exhaled so strongly I almost fainted. I thought for sure I was about to get my face ripped off and expelled from the Zappa sphere. But no, it was time to perform. I said “I need another Diet Coke though”. Frank said to a stage hand “get her a Coke!”. I said, “um, it has to be Diet Coke, more bubbles”. “Ok, he said, get her a DIET Coke, and make it snappy”. So finally my burps were recorded into a sampler and they used it for the rest of the tour to make fun of the TV Evangelists at the time, and now you can hear it on the Zappa live Album called “the Best band you’ve NEVER heard in your life”.. or simply click on the banner below..
The tour was amazing and I got to meet Dweezil and Ahmet, Frank’s sons and Frank affectionately crowned me “Dr. Dot”. I was just DOT before, as Dot is short for Dorothy. My Granny was named Dorothy and most called her Dot. I was named after her and so most called me Dot. Frank would say “go get the Doctor” or “hi Doctor Dot” and so it stuck. I am honored. When Frank died of prostrate cancer in 1993, I was in tears for days. I have never gotten over it and preaching his music is my way of thanking him for his music and allowing me to see his sound checks and shows. I was estatic to hear that Dweezil is touring with an amazing band, playing his Father’s music. Even though I knew I would probably get in for free and end up massaging them all, I still bought a ticket, just in case.
Napoleon Murphy Brock (< click on link to read about him) and I have been buddies for years. < Napi and I
He has been touring with a Frank Zappa tribute band called Project Object, keeping the faith. Now he is on tour with Zappa plays Zappa. He does most of the vocals in the show. He usually steals the show, he is so talented; sings and dances like no other. He knows Frank’s music inside and out as he played with Frank for YEARS. Anyways, Napoleon and I have kept in touch and he called me from the Zappa plays Zappa Norwegian show, telling me the whole band is excited about getting the Dr. Dot rub down on Monday in Berlin. I was so excited, I think I didn’t sleep for a few days after that. Monday finally came and I arrived with my guitar player (for my band Bitchfest) Eno, who is one of the biggest Zappa fans I know. Napoleon, or Napi as everyone calls him, was outside to greet me personally. He gave me a giant bear hug and then shook Eno’s hand. Eno handed him 10 Finish marks (on one live Zappa recording, it was said, if one handed Frank 10 Finish marks, they would play whatever they were asked to play). Sadly, it didn’t work heh heh.
Napi proudly introduced me to the band. I already knew Steve Vai, but never met Terri Bozzio before, so I was star struck, yes, even I get star struck! I got to watch the sound check *sigh*
<Dweezil at sound check
Sheila,Terri, Jamie, Joe , Aaron (part of the Zappa plays Zappa band) ^
Terri Bozzio warming up before his AMAZING performance ^
(how my camera SUCKS!! Note to self, get a fucking new camera!!!)
I chatted with Dweezil (haven’t seen him for years). He was more gorgeous then I remembered. I tell you, all he would have had to do is say “I want you” and it would have been done. BUT, contrary to the rumors I heard (I heard he was single), I was let down to hear he was married and is expecting his first child next month. BOOOOO! Well, I am happy he is spreading those genes, but gutted that it’s not with me. heh heh.
I first massaged Sheila Gonzalez (sax, keyboards, vocals). She loved it and did good PR for me which made everyone else in the band fight over who was next. YAY! Next on the slab was Steve Vai (one of the best guitarist in the world)
Sorry Ladies, Steve has been happily married for 28 years to his college sweet heart.
Steve is so polite and friendly, I have been massaging him over the years and have yet to see him in a bad mood. He said this tour was like a tiny vacation for him as he didn’t have to play during the whole show. He just showed up for the last 30 minutes or so and kicked ASS! He was busy in his dressing room writing/composing the whole time. The papers he was writing on were so big, they covered all the tables, like plans for a house, but covered in musical notes that would confuse Beethoven . I introduced him to my daughter, Jasmine (who also plays guitar) and he was super nice, Jasmine kept saying to me”as a guitar player, I have to say, I’m not worthy”.
One of the funniest parts of the night for me was when Steve Vai picked up one of my BITCHFEST flyers, which were laying around all over the backstage area and he read the GROUPIE APPLICATION out loud to everyone, he LOVED our Bitchfest flyer. He then asked me to explain the whole thing to him and was laughing his ass off.
Jasmine and Steve Vai (my little cutie turned Red upon first meeting the guitar hero) ^
The show was amazing, but the venue had shitty acoustics. I stood next to the sound man most of the show. I asked him about the sound and he was furious. He was cursing the venue the whole show. He couldn’t turn it up louder as the shape of the Tempodrom was so strange, the sound merely got fuzzy when he turned it up. They played wonderfully, words escape me, but I like it loud and this joint couldn’t accommodate. Keep that in mind if you are ever touring you are about to play the Tempodrom in Berlin. Tell the booking agent/promoters, NO THANKS!
During the encore , some Frank Zappa fans held up a BIG yellow banner that read “You may have the genes, but we keep the spirit alive: ZAPPANALE 2006!”. This was like a big FUCK YOU to Dweezil. He told me how much it pissed him off and why during his 90 minute massage. Zappanale (please click the link to read all about it). It’s an unofficial, annual festival that celebrates Frank Zappa. There are two sides to the Zappa story. Well, you see, there are millions of Zappa fans that are starving to hear someone play live Zappa music and to hear unreleased Zappa tunes, and they satisfy their desire by seeing Zappa tribute bands and going to the Zappanale etc. But the Zappa family frowns upon such things because they want his music done EXACTLY how Frank made it, and preferably by his sons, Dweezil and Ahmet. So some Zappa fans resent the Zappa family because they know the Zappa family doesn’t support these festivals etc. Frank’s sister, Candy Zappa makes special appearances at the Zappanale and Frank wasn’t even close to her at all. Kind of like what Pete Best does at Beatles conventions. This pisses off the Zappa family, so it’s complicated. I think it was fucking RUDE of those idiots to hold up that bitter banner right in front of Dweezil, he is trying his best to play his father’s music exactly how it is meant to be played and has hired incredible musicians to help spread the music around the world. Dweezil says he really hopes more young people get into Zappa music and was happy to see my daughter wearing an official Zappa t-shirt at the gig. Dweezil said so far the best audience was in Sweden. He was amazed to see what appeared to be three 15 year old GIRLS in the front row singing to every song, he said they knew every single word to every song and was very impressed.
I told him that people write to me every day and ask me what is a good starter kit to get into Zappa, as in, what albums should one buy to get into Frank. I usually tell them Joe’s Garage; We’re only in it for the Money and Tinseltown Rebellion. Dweezil said “really? I always suggest Apostrophe and Overnite sensation as a starter kit”. I usually don’t speak during a massage, but Dweezil was very chatty and hello, I wanted him to be chatty, I couldn’t get enough of his insight and comments about his father and the music. Dweezil is so relaxed and cool, so down to earth and friendly. I mentioned is amazing blue eyes and he said he is the only one in the whole family with blues eyes. I also asked him why doesn’t he sport his dad’s signature stash and tiny beard. He said he grew it once but it looked ridiculous on him and shaved it off.
This man is extremely talented, his guitar playing rivals his Dad’s, but yet it’s different. If you are on your way to see a Zappa plays Zappa show, please, show the band how much you LOVE the music, give big time applause, show the love, make Dweezil understand how grateful we are that he is taking this show on the road and let him know we support him 100%.
–
Dweezil and I *SIGH* ^
Dweezil and Jasmine ^ (she was in heaven ok?)
Jasmine and Terri Bozzio ^
Jasmine, Terri and Me ^ (no, im not a midget, they are sitting on a table)
It hasn't been a good year for polar bears. On Monday, the World Conservation Union (IUCN) released their 2006 Red List of Threatened Species, and for the first time, polar bears made the list. And according to a study published just last month, global warming could push polar bears to extinction in just 25 years. According to the IUCN, "Polar bears are set to become one of the most notable casualties of global warming." This bad news for bears comes just days after ExxonMobil, the world's largest oil company, announced first quarter profits of $8.4 billion. Take action today!
It's a stark contrast – ExxonMobil, swimming in cash, is the only major oil company still pushing to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, one of the most important onshore denning habitats for America's remaining polar bears. At the same time, polar bears are literally drowning due to melting sea ice. We can help polar bears, no matter where we live – by changing our activities that contribute to global warming and urging corporations to do the same. And one of the best ways to start is by letting ExxonMobil know that we won't buy their gasoline unless and until they stop trying to drill in the Arctic Refuge and start making a real investment in cleaner energy sources.
Take action: tell ExxonMobil's CEO to stop pushing for oil drilling in the Arctic Refuge; to withdraw its support of the pro-drilling Arctic Power lobbying group; and to start investing in renewable energy for the future. Let ExxonMobil know that until they mend their anti-wildlife ways, you will be boycotting their gasoline! Sign the petition: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/639369850?z00m=83266&z00m=83266<l=1146885921
It was the movie Rock ’n Roll High School
that turned me on to the Ramones. I had this burning teenage lust to meet the
singer, Joey Ramone. He looked so sexy! I’m not sure if it was how he sang “I
want you ‘round” so sensually to the girl in the movie, or how he wore his
jeans so snug on his boney hips, but I just had to meet this man.
In the movie, it’s totally impossible to even get a ticket to see the Ramones
in concert, much less to meet them in person. So I was going out of my mind
when I saw them for the first time at the Agora Ballroom in Hartford,
Connecticut, when I was 15. Before the show, I started talking to one of their
roadies, and he said he would introduce me to the band if I showed him my
tits. I was like ‘no deal’.
He let me watch the show from the soundboard anyhow, where you could see the
whole stage. The lighting person then was a guy named Arturo Vega, who
designed their logo and all of the record covers. He did sound, lights,
managed and organized the whole tour thing, and anything else the Ramones
needed at the time. Arturo was at the sound board and he asked me if I wanted
to meet the band (he kinda rescued me from the horney roadie guy who wanted to
see some TIT). So naturally I was over the moon at the offer. About twenty
minutes after the show, he took me backstage and upstairs to the dressing
room.
The band was very sweet to me. DeeDee Ramone, the bassist, was acting all
crazy, making wild faces and smoking.
< DeeDee spitting
Johnny, the guitarist, was not at all
like I imagined. Not overly friendly, definitely not a flirt. The drummer at
the time was named Ritchie. He looked good, but he was involved with a ballet
dancer and he wasn’t very chatty to other females.
Then came the moment that I spoke to Joey. He was sitting alone in a corner.
Joey speaks very softly, and you have to listen up or you’ll miss something!
But everything the man said was funny as hell. This I found unbelievably
attractive. A man that can make a lady laugh has it all! He asked for my
number, and said they come to Connecticut often and that he would call me up
next time they were in town. I was in heaven! Joey signed my left tit, and
wrote “ To OL’ Dot, love Joey Ramone” and made the “O” in “OL’ go rite around
my nipple, I still have
Now I was even more crazy about the Ramones. At the time I was living with my
Grandfather and an Aunt in Ellington, CT. Bless their hearts, they had
absolutely no control over me at all. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I
pleased. Sure, they complained sometimes, and frowned upon certain things, but
they were too busy to actually tighten the leash.
Anyway, Gramps can be very grumpy, especially if woken up in the middle of the
night. Joey would usually call late at night, after the gig. I was thrilled,
but sometimes Gramps would answer the phone beside his bed before I could get
to the one in the kitchen. He would scream down the hallway, “Dot!!!
Joey is on the phone, and it’s two o’clock in the God Damned
morning!” But I would still get on the phone every time. I’d have to sit on
the stairs that went from the kitchen to the basement and talk to him very
quietly. It was so great to hear from Joey, my „first love” – like a dream
come true.
He would tell me where he was and what they were doing, and ask when I could
come to the next show. Joey lived in Manhattan, and most of the shows would
happen on Fridays. So from then on, after school on Thursdays, I was finished
with school until Monday. I was almost never in school on Fridays in the 11th
and 12th grades, all because of those concerts.
Uh, by the way, I had told Joey that I was 19 years old. I know, I know,
that’s lying, but I knew if he knew how old I really was, he would never have
been interested. My breasts surely looked 19 years old, so the tiny white lie
went over without a doubt.Most young girls make themself older and as we all
know, most older women make them self younger. *sigh* -women!
I went everywhere to see the Ramones. Any show in Connecticut, Rhode Island,
New York, all over New England – and I was there. I even flew to Virginia for
a concert once!
^ Me and Vera (Dee Dee’s first wife) at a Ramones show in Virginia Beach. I know,I know my HAIR!
Joey and I were an item, and I always got taken care of. After the shows I got
to ride in the minibus back to the hotel or to the next gig, sitting right
next to Joey. I always massaged his feet and hands in the mini van, and later
on I would massage his back in the hotel room. (Joey had a really bad back,
totally out of line.)
DeeDee always had the back seat and he would toke on a joint and tell the
weirdest jokes and stories. We never needed a radio! Arturo sat in the
passenger seat, and Monty, the Ramones’ tour manager, drove. Monty never cut
loose and partied; he was serious about his job. Once and a while I got him to
soften up and smile, to relax. Sometimes a little shoulder massage while he
was driving helped.
Sometimes I would be so damn tired that I would put my head in Joey’s lap and
he would play with my hair for hours. It was heaven. Joey was actually very
shy and withdrawn. He wasn’t a loudmouth; he was very smart, funny and gentle.
He didn’t talk much, but when he did speak, it was always wise, sarcastic, or
hilarious. When he kissed me, he would put me on his lap and hold me, and the
kisses seemed to last forever. He had the softest lips oh GOD how lovely they
were.
^ Joey and I (that is a fake fur I am wearing so calm the fuck down)
After a while, I became a part of the Ramones scene. I even helped out a bit.
Before every show, Joey had a routine. He put on his fingerless leather gloves
and his stage clothes – which varied from time to time, but it was usually
very tight dark jeans, a sweatshirt, and sneakers. Then he would find an empty
room and do these very loud vocal exercises, clearing his sinuses with very
loud honking noises. No one was allowed to watch, but I was always waiting for
him outside the door, so I heard it all. I just thought it was great to be
able to witness all these pre-concert preparations. I still enjoy seeing what
all the stars do before shows. Some pray, some meditate. A lot of them do
vocal exercises. I have always found every aspect of backstage prep just as
exciting as the show., and sometimes even better!
Sometimes I would help Joey off the stage. Normally this was Monty’s job, but
I did it whenever I was around. Joey wore very dark tinted glasses, and it
would be so dark when the lights were off at the end of the show – and he was
so damn tall – he needed someone to hang onto, to help him see to get down the
ramp or the stairs.
Then there were the favors I did for DeeDee. At the time, DeeDee was married
to a gorgeous woman named Vera, but he also enjoyed nice scenery backstage. A
„looking at the menu, but not ordering” kind of attitude. DeeDee would have me
go out into the audience before and after the show to „find a cute chick.” So,
with my good eye for beauty, I would scout around and find the cutest looking
girl. I’d tell her DeeDee wanted to meet her, or ask her if she would like to
meet DeeDee.
I would bring her backstage and introduce her to the gang. DeeDee would have
his very dark Sun Glasses on, so you couldn’t even see his eyes. He would just
casually say ‘Hi,” and stay sitting where he was, usually in a corner, and
hardly talk to the girl! Talking to her was my job. I would just chat with her
and try to make her feel comfortable. It was actually very difficult, because
they never knew what was going on (no one did).
Girls would wonder why they were brought backstage, and the only real reason
was to light up the room, to give the band some eye candy. Even though it was
DeeDee’s idea, he would just smoke his joint and stare, or even pick his nose
in front of the girl. He didn’t care. This behavior usually scared the shit
out of the girl, and she would ask to excuse herself and quickly disappear.
Once I asked DeeDee why he picked his nose when the girls were around, and he
said, ‘Well, I don’t want them to fall for me. I just like to look at them!’
It was hilarious.
THE RAMONES II, from Dot’s diary:
The absolute highlight of my whole time with
the Ramones was the concert they played in my „home town,” Ellington, CT. It
was summer 1984, and I was begging Joey to come play in my tiny little town.
„But there isn’t even a concert hall there,” he argued. So I told him about a
restaurant in Ellington called the Country Squire. I told him the Country
Squire had a little stage, and they sometimes had country acts there. And
besides, the bartender, Kenny, was the biggest Ramones fan in the world.
So, after a lot of pleading and foot massages, Joey agreed. I can still
remember doing sit-ups in my grandfather’s living room, watching MTV, and
seeing the VJ’s face when she read off the Ramones’ tour dates. When she got
to Connecticut, it sounded like she was asking a question: „The Country
Squire? Ellington, Connecticut?” (the Country Squire is now called
Cippinno’s ). All my friends from school called me in
disbelief. They all knew I was hanging out with Joey, but still no one
believed they would come to Ellington. It’s in the middle of nowhere! It’s a
cow town!
Of course, most of my high school showed up for the gig. An hour and a half
after the show was scheduled to start, there was still no sign of the band,
and I was sweating bullets. Everybody was teasing me, saying the Ramones
weren’t coming, that it was all a joke. Then the mini van finally pulled up in
the gravel parking lot. I was practically crying for joy.
The guys jumped out and started explaining why they were late. Just up the
road by our local 7-11, the cops had pulled them over, apparently for
speeding. One look at the Ramones, though, in all their black leather, and the
cops had a field day. They searched the whole van for clues of a rock band’s
party materials – but they found nothing. The police tried to keep them there
as long as possible anyhow. It was probably the most exciting thing that had
ever happened to them. I mean, how exciting could it be to work as a cop in a
town like Ellington?
Finally, the concert began. I remember Joey hitting his head on the ceiling
during the show, because he is so frickin tall. He cut his head – it was even
bleeding a little. But they kept on playing.
During the break, the band and I went out back to get some air. The guys were
like, „Dot, there are cows surrounding us, and there’s corn everywhere. What
the fuck is this place?” I was so happy, I just wanted to marry Joey and live
happily ever after. And all my friends were totally flipping that the Ramones
were playing in our town. It was Ellington being put on the map.
Joey wanted to stay with me so he and DeeDee came over to my grandparents’
house. Gramps, who even Joey called „Grumpy Gramps,” made them both sleep in
the living room. The next morning, I remember bringing them to Vernon, the
next town over. They wanted to ride the go-carts. It was quite a sight, as
Joey’s legs were a frickin mile long, so it was hell for him to squeeze into
the tiny go-cart seats. This is why I loved Joey. He was so fun, drinking
chocolate milk, riding go-carts, making me laugh. He was like a big kid.
As always, it was really fun hanging out with Joey. He didn’t talk much, but
everything he did say had me in stitches. He didn’t flirt with anyone or even
talk to other girls. He made me feel like the only girl on earth. I remember a
lot of other details from that time.
Joey, Arturo and I often went out to eat
Indian food when I was in town. It was like a ritual. I remember Joey had a
cat named „Mouse.” Joey loved having his feet rubbed more than anything, and
he would massage my back. This was way before I became a professional
masseuse. He was so generous and caring, so romantic. I remember he would hold
me in his arms and kind of rock me, and he would pet my hair. Unlike most
boys, who would go right for the naughty parts, he always wanted to make me
feel comfortable. He was an awesome boyfriend, and I couldn’t get enough of
him.
^ Richie (was the Ramones drummer for a while)
* I remember the Ramones played a place in New Haven CT called Toads place.
You absolutely had to be 18 to get into this place. The owner demanded to see
my ID but naturally I didn’t have one as I was still under age. Joey told
him that I was with him, but the prick didn’t care. He said under NO
circumstances
was I allowed in the building. This argument went on for a few hours and
finally
Joey said “either she comes in or we don’t play”. How romantic was that? Well,
we won and the show went on. What a man!!!!By the way, here’s some Ramones trivia: Joey told me that the name Ramones
comes from their love of the Beatles. In the 60s, when Paul McCartney would
check into hotels, apparently he would use the name “Paul Ramone.” Supposedly,
Paul took this from his album RAM which has a song called “Ram On”. In the
beginning of the Ramones’ career, they were being marketed as the punk
Beatles, because of the Beatles haircuts and matching punk clothes, four
members, etc.
—————————————————————————————————————
RAMONES, NOVEMBER 1989
In November of 1989, I was living in Berlin doing the Hausfrau thing my
twenty-year-old husband and six-month-old daughter, when the Ramones once
again entered my life. I was thinking that my rock & roll days were long gone. Then one day the
phone rang. It was Arturo, telling me the Ramones were playing that night in
Berlin. It wasn’t that far from our house, so I told my guy that I wanted to
go and say hello.
It was the call of the wild, echoing in my ears once again, going, ‘Rock and
roll never forgets, Dot! Come back to us!’ I brought Benjamin and my daughter
– with the stroller, the burp rag, the whole family thing – to introduce my
family to the Ramones. “We’re a happy family” was ringing in my ears. I showed
my daughter off to the band, took a photo of Joey holding her in her little
snowsuit – November in Berlin is cold!
Joey didn’t want to meet Ben, and Ben couldn’t have cared less.I understood
Joey,I wouldn’t have wanted to meet his new girl either,we obviously still had
feelings for eachother. When the show started, it got mega loud as usual, and
I did not want my daughter to get scared. So we left without even seeing the
show. But contact with the music scene stirred something up in me again. I had
been trying to ignore it, but I couldn’t any longer.
By the time the Ramones came back in 1992 I looked completely different. I was
wild, dressing like Madonna, wearing mesh clothes, and acting as carefree as I
ever had. They couldn’t believe how many times I changed my ‘image,’ but back
at the hotel Joey told me that he adored them all. We sat for hours in Joey’s
room, C.J was there too, it was the first time I met him, it was fun to hang
with the new Ramone and Joey,my old flame. While we were chatting, I made use
of the time by massaging Joeys big feet, that was his favorite, a firm foot
massage,with little to no oil on my hands, so he could “feel” my hands better.
When I said good night, Joey kissed me on the cheek and made me promise to
keep in touch. I would call on holidays and every time I went to America, I
would call Joey and we would have a nice chat, so we did keep in touch.I
still,to this day,know his old number by heart.
——————————————————————————————-
THE RAMONES VI, from Dot’s diary, January 1996:
The Ramones were just in
Berlin as part of their “Adios Amigos” tour, which is supposed to be their
last tour ever.
^ Joey, me and Monte back stage at Huxley’s Neue Welt
^ Marky gets a foot rub back stage in Berlin
^ CJ afer his massage
(CJ took over where DeeDee left off in the band)
It was great to see them all again, especially Joey. After the show, he wanted me to come back
to the hotel with them in the van, as it was a bit far from the gig. Johnny complained that only the band
should go in the van, because it was too full. Joey told Johnny to shut up and put me on his
lap and off we went to the hotel. You could have cut the tension with a knife.
We all got into the lobby, and everyone wanted to rush to their rooms for a
shower. I told Joey I would meet him in the bar, but as soon as I got out of
the elevator on the second floor the other elevator opened and Joey came out,
as if he was in a hurry. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he
would clean up later and that we should sit and chat in the bar now.(this
melted my heart). So we sat together for a while. All the Germans were
staring, of course, because Joey looks really unique. So he suggested we drink
up and just go to his room.
I thought it was so sweet that he hurried to meet me, and now he wanted to
talk in private. Up in his room, Joey told me he was dating someone, but he
still kept being incredibly sentimental with me. I massaged his feet and he
played a cassette for me that his voice coach had made for him to practice
while on the road. He did all these vocal exercises for me (just like old
times!). It was awesome, and once again I felt privileged to still be so close
to Joey after all these years.
Right before Joey died, he would email me and tell me how he was doing. I told
him I was writing a book and I wanted him to read the Ramones chapters I wrote. It
took him ages but finally he read it all and wrote back to me “not bad, but take it
easy on Johnny ok Dot?” I was floored. My orignial material really was brutal, as in,
I spoke my mind and mentioned how basically everyone felt about Johnny but I edited it as Joey
wished and was nicer to Johnny (MEOW!) . That just shows you what kind of man Joey was.
If you you know anything about the Ramones, you would know that Joey should have been
the last person to request that someone be nicer to Johnny (Johnny famously stole Joey’slong time Girlfriend from him,
(thank God othewise I wouldn’t have been with Joey)
^ Mr. Grump (Johnny) in Providence, R.I, doing the doughnut thing.
My next “close encounter of the Ramones kind” was in the summer of 1998, when
DeeDee called me from New York, asking if he could come and stay with me for a
while, and maybe his wife would come, too. He told me some really long stories
about the weird hotel he was living at in Manhattan.
He said he wrote a book and he was doing art, but he really wanted to come to
Berlin. DeeDee grew up in Berlin. His mother is German, and his father was a
US soldier. He wanted to resurrect his music career. He was really into rap
now, and he asked me to find some German rappers who would like him to rap
with them.
DeeDee’s wife Barbara is from Buenos Aires. She was 19 at the time, and only
14 when they got married. After a Ramones gig in Buenes Aires, Barbara, who
couldn’t speak any English at the time, asked DeeDee for an autograph. DeeDee
can’t speak any Spanish, but somehow they fell in love, and now they’re a
pair.
I picked them up from the Berlin airport in my little Volkswagen, and I
couldn’t believe how DeeDee looked. He was incredibly skinny, and his head was
almost shaved, and the hair that was there was gray.
Dee-Dee and Barbara coloring in my living room ^
Barbara is a cutie. She looks more like a Ramone than Dee Dee did sometimes. She has that original
Ramones haircut. Black hair with long bangs. A pageboy cut, you know? Like the
Beatles had. And she has the same exact tattoos that DeeDee has, on her
forearms. It’s a row of five skulls going from the elbow to the wrist, on the
underside of the forearm. So I figured it must be true love.
I have already learned my lesson about having stars as guests in my house. The
first thing you do after you pick them up is take them grocery shopping.
Otherwise you’ll be sorry. So we went to the grocery store and it was
hilarious. Just imagine DeeDee, super jet-lagged, talking my ear off up and
down the supermarket aisles. They bought mostly junk food, noodles and coffee.
No health food. Probably to keep up the Ramones tradition.
Next on the agenda: where can I get DeeDee some weed? Naturally they can’t
bring their own, and it’s legal in Germany. But grass is hard to find. Hash is
everywhere, but he wanted grass. I didn’t know many people who smoke; only one
friend I know smokes regularly, but he won’t sell it. He will smoke with
people, but doesn’t want to deal it.
I tried to explain this to DeeDee, and he got increasingly angry. So I brought
him and Barbara over to my friend’s house, and my friend laid out a hell of a
lot of hash and grass and we all sat around chatting. I explained to DeeDee
that it’s not cool to just show up, smoke and leave. That he has to get to
know the guy and have a nice chat. And then they can smoke together.
They looked at a lot of old German antiques that this guy had, and books,
photos. But you could see it in DeeDee’s eyes how impatient he was getting.
He wasn’t used to not being in control, and I couldn’t help him out in this
situation. I simply don’t hang out with potheads here.
Finally they smoked and DeeDee loved it and he asked if he could buy some. He
wanted a lot, but the guy said no. But he gave DeeDee some to take with him
anyway. The amount he gave him was generous, but it didn’t last long.
Then DeeDee started bothering me constantly about grass. I was getting
annoyed. I was giving them a free place to stay and taking them sightseeing
and getting him press galore, so I felt he should be more grateful.
It was easy for me to get DeeDee Press attention, because I am already famous
in Germany. I had my book, and I was appearing on every German TV show
possible. So the press is happy when they have a new story with me.
One of Germany’s most popular TV stations (like ABC, or NBC) is called SAT1.
The have an evening show similar to Entertainment Tonight called Blitz. They
came to my house and interviewed us while I was massaging DeeDee.
He can speak a little bit of German, and I helped him along when he was stumped.
It was hilarious.
They filmed us for four and a half hours, although they only showed eight
minutes on TV. That’s typical with TV. Even though they had hours of footage,
they chose not to edit out DeeDee trying desperately to put his T-shirt back
on. He thought he was stuffing his head through the hole for the head, and he
was trying to stuff his head through the arm hole. It was frickin hilarious to
see DeeDee with his head stuck in such a tiny hole.
I still have this interview on video. So we helped each other out to get
publicity, and I am still grateful. There was a constant stream of journalists
in and out of my apartment the whole week DeeDee was there, and his photo was
in every Berlin magazine. The press didn’t know before that DeeDee was from
Berlin.
Apart from interviews, searching for pot and staying up all night smoking on
my balcony, DeeDee and Barbara spent a lot of time playing with my daughter.
She loved DeeDee and Barbara, because they were like kids, too. They
especially liked to color with her.
DeeDee would draw all these crazy things for her and she loved the way he
talks. He would say the funniest things like, ”I can’t believe she (Barbara)
likes me. Look at me! I’m ugly!” And he would say it in such a childish voice.
Sometimes even today, my daughter tells me to ” talk like DeeDee.”
DeeDee grew up in Berlin, and he was bored out of his mind in New York, so he
came up with the idea that we should swap apartments for a year. I was
actually thinking about it for a minute.
Me massaging DeeDee in my Berliner flat (1997?)
I like DeeDee, but I think the music business has made him a bit eccentric to
say the least. He has mood swings like New England’s weather changes! He told
me he wrote two books, but couldn’t afford an editor, so the books are printed
unedited, with a shit-load of mistakes. I find this unique, and typical
DeeDee.
All in all, DeeDee has a good heart. While he was in Berlin, Arturo called. He
was also in Berlin, with the Misfits, a punk group from NYC. Arturo was doing
the same for them that he did for the Ramones: a little bit of everything.
Lights, sound, merchandising, graphic designs for the merchandise, etc.
Arturo invited us all to the Misfits gig, in a club here called SO36. It was
small and trashy looking; a punk club. The Misfits know DeeDee already, and
invited him on stage at the gig to sing a few Ramones songs. The crowd went
wild!
Barb and Dee-Dee at Misfits gig ^
^ Doyle getting a rub down in Berlin from my healing hands
The Misfits liked me very much. Jerry, the bassist, and Doyle the guitarist both asked me to massage them after the gig.
Jerry was extremely sweet to me, and told me I could come on the rest of the tour if I wanted, but
I declined.
The Misfits line up has changed a lot since then. They had Marky Ramones on drums for a while…
Well, anyway it was great to have another round of Ramones, no matter how
strenuous it was. “We’re a happy family!”
* Update.
I asked Monte why I wasn’t mentioned in his book “On the Road with the Ramones”
and he said it was because I was so young when I dated Joey, that it could make Joey look bad. But
it was my fault, I never told Joey my real age…
I still see Monte sometimes when I go to Arturo’s house. Arturo is one of my
favorite people, no one on earth is as dedicated to the Ramones legacy as he
is. He has a lovely dog named Diesel who I could just eat alive, he is so
sweet! He is a boxer and is getting a bit old now but still wags his nub every time I come over.
^ Arturo Vega and I at one of his Art shows at the Niagra bar
^ Arturo’s tatttoo. He replaced Marky’s name with his own..ouch.
Little fact not all Ramones fans know, Johnny’s ex wife is busy suing everyone she can. She has sued Vera, Arturo, Marky, Mickey (Joeys brother) and everyone else she can as she just can’t stand it unless she has ALL of the control over the Ramones legacy. Pathetic.She wants EVERY SINGLE penny. She tried to prevent Vera from telling her own story in her book ‘Poisoned Heart’ even though the book had NOTHING to do with Linda or Johnny. She made Vera’s life HELL and cost her thousands of dollars in lawyer fees. Tsk tsk. Linda wants to own the Ramones logo, all the song rights, get all the royalties etc. So sad. She runs around dressing in the nasties clothes EVER (fur, micro mini skirts (isn’t she 60 years old now?). Karma, where are you?
It is with tears in my eyes (and all over the keyboards) that I write the words, my dear friend Petra lost her fight with cancer last night
^ Petra Iris and Petra ^
^ Petra ^ Billy (Smashing Pumpkins) & Me
^ us two with Manny (ex Stone Roses)
^ Iris and Petra ^ Happy times.. Petra and I out in Berlin
I am brutally beating myself up mentally because I wasn't there for her at her bedside. The last time I saw her was October 28th, the day before I left back to the USA. I went to her house and saw her and her twin sister, Iris. I gave them their belated birthday presents and I gave Petra a massage. She was really ill and when I said good bye I burst out in tears, as I knew in my heart there was a chance I would never see her again. Fuck! Life is short, show the people you love how much you love them, don't wait.
Petra was a Libra, a sweet, caring fun person. An optimist, never saying anything negative about anyone,ever. She lived life to the fullest, even up to the end. I want to post some things below, images of things she loved, things she had pictures of in her cool, hot pink and red bed room. She had a red shag carpet, hot pink furniture and heart shaped lights all around, pink curtains and a fuzzy red chair, her room screamed Rockabilly. Here are some of Petra's favorite things, Heaven has just inherited a new Angel … 🙁
Petra LOVED ELVIS and the Beatles too
And oooh how she loved Sex and the city! We watched it together many a nights..
^ Petra has tons of these
< Petra loved the Lord of the Rings books and films and wore one of those rings
^ Petra knew Johnny really well, but never bragged. She adored him, says he is super kind and fun.
Going to bed now, will rub my puffy eyes to sleep. Now I am faced with another decision, go to Atlanta on Wednesday to see my family as planned
and then fly to Berlin on Dec 1st or change it all around and go to Berlin now. Not sure when the funeral is yet, I hear it can take weeks in Germany.
All I know is Death don't no mercy…
"Well now death don't have no mercy in this land He'll come to your house and he won't stay long Look 'round the room one of your family will be gone Death don't have no mercy in this land" Hot Tuna