Sounded to good to be true at first, but turned out to be ear candy galore. Clapton and Beck touring together. Ahhhh. Like butter. I was asked to go to Madison Square Gardens for both shows to give complimentary massages since I am the boss; to heal a few band members and it was insanely cool, as usual. Being in Jeff Becks presence is always FUN and I talked to Eric in the hallway a minute about “the fussball match” we had in Berlin years ago. He remember and laughed (well I got the first four goals, then he wiped the floor with me, I never got another goal in three straight games). He was looking as handsome as ever. Like a fine wine he just gets better.
One thing about MSG is it’s like fort knox- takes FOREVER to get in, even if you are on the list and WORKING there. But I guess they have to be that way, since 9/11 and all.
Also, stars are not as personable when they are backstage at MSG. Everyone acts like a machine there, like they are on stage, even when they are backstage, but then again, it IS Madison Square Gardens. I prefer when they play smaller venues; then they relax more, let their hair down and really have fun and let loose. It seems they are surrounded by press at MSG and have to keep their “star suit” on you know?
I was there for the Jeff Beck camp so I didn’t see much of the Clapton show at all but I HEARD it all. I am partial to Beck, I feel he stole the show, but that’s just me.
I don’t have the Clapton set list, sorry. This pic below is from the time Eric whooped my ass at fussball (table soccer). He is a wizard at that game. Hardly anyone has ever scored against me let alone won, but Mr. Slow-hand WILL win against anyone, it seems. He is the best at it. Seriously. Not sure about this tour, but last time he had a fussball table on tour with him, a really professional one, had a leveler and all.
Enter Rhonda Smith, Becks new choice for BASS. Let me just say she is MILES better and cooler, kinder, funnier, funkier and more talented then his last bassist. I don’t wanna hear how “young and cute” his last bassist is. She isn’t that young; she is 26, she is just SHORT which makes all of the horny fucks in the audience think she is “so young” and cute. Age and appearance don’t matter when it comes to playing bass and Rhonda, in my opinion, is AMAZING. Nice choice Jeff!! Rhonda toured with Prince for YEARS. Check her out:
One of the highlights for me those two nights was seeing and talking to Mr. Roger Waters again. He stood near me while watching the last few songs of Jeff Becks set at the 2nd show. Seems no one else recognized him but me when he came out to watch. We talked after the show and I asked him if he remembered the massage I gave him in Berlin and he said “how could I forget that?”. Gave him my new laminated flyer. SWOON!! I was massaging the drummer in one of the backstage lounge rooms and Roger walked in and joked “Oh I see you’ve no time for my massage Dot. Cheeky git” and we all just had a giggle. Told him it would just be five more minutes but Roger left. Ugh. I wish there were two of me.
Eric Danville is a friend and my editor/boss at Penthouse Forum magazine (that host my sex column "Calling Dr. Dot"). Eric wrote this book here The Official Heavy Metal book of Lists, which I contributed to. The book release party was October 1st 2009. It was a blast.. the book is SUPER fun, grab a copy. My pages are 106-109.
Since Eric is also my Penthouse editor I decided to come dressed in my Dr. Dot costume..
I brought my very close friend, Chrissi with me. She is always a million laughs (AND she loves karaoke too, just like me)
Got Milk?
From Left to Right: Cliff Mott (illustrator of the Heavy Metal Book of Lists), me and Eric Danville (author/editor/friend)
The book release party was held at the Double Down Saloon and it was naturally a freak show, as it always is in the Lower East Side, yes! 🙂
Not sure what Ass Juice is but I am sure it taste YUMMY
Finally got to meet my Editor assistant of Penthouse Forum, Jenn – after soooo long working together per email.
I was lucky enough to have an illustration to go with my Heavy Metal List- Cliff Mott did the honors… I like!! You can find my pages on 106, 107, 108 and 109.
Congrats Eric, the book ROCKS!!! Thanks for giving me a copy, Chrissi and I dug into it over waffles at the diner and laughed our heads off- good stuff!!
For me the Zappanale fest already started in Berlin with Project Object playing at the DOT CLUB on August 13th. It was so awesome and my buddy Joe Jackson came and stood in the audience the whole time and watched. He said he enjoyed the show, the band was good but he said, as I said, the sound could have been better. The club is HOT as FUCK and smokey too- with bad sound. NOT good. But Project Object, of course, did the best they could do and nailed it.
My good friends Dirk and Bully came to the show too and refused to accept free tix, they wanted to support the band! Snarky, a myspace Zappa group friend of mine came all the way from Virginia to see the show (and the Zappanale too)
Dirk, Bully, Snarky McBullhorn ^
Dot at the Dot Club. I felt at home here apart from the cig smoke, cough cough, I am NO fun, innit!? I LOVE the shirt I am wearing, my friend Robin Gelberg gave it to me, I treasure it.
Oliver (in the middle) owns a bar called the Jansen Bar in Berlin and they have Frank Zappa night the first Tuesday of each month. Ike was happy to pose with Oliver and the Jansen bar bar-tender who swears he isn’t gay (inside joke). Check it out: http://www.jansenbar.de/
Rather bad quality but here is a video of one ^ of my performances at the Dot Club in Berlin
Not much time to write, just posting a few pics I took last night. The Zappanale gets better each time I come, I LOVE it (“it’s a way of life” 😉
To see the blog I wrote about the last Zappanale I went to two years ago, go to:
Bruce Bickford is here at the festival, if you don’t know who he is, you must not know the Frank Zappa film “Baby Snakes”. Google him, he is a legend- or just click link below:
CREW SLUT at the Zappanale ^ (I knew a better quality version would turn up 🙂
And I FINALLY met the famous Paul Green. We run in the same circle, never had the pleasure until tonight- wicked fun guy..
And it felt like MAGIC to be in between these two legends, Don Preston and Robert Martin (they just met for the first time tonight!)
Haven’t seen Don for two years, it is always a pleasure. Haven’t seen Robert since 1988! We had a LOT of catching up to do and he gave me 2 hours of fitness and advice about what to eat and what not to eat (he is a strict Vegan). He is 61 and is still ripped, you should see his abs. Check out his web site, you can see videos of him doing one legged squats, he is amazing!! http://www.lookgreatnakedatanyage.com/
Robert’s shoes fascinated me to no end ^ I told him if they made them for women, they could paint the toe nail part red to make them sexier. ha.
Eric Svalgard ^ and Eric Slick of Project Object
Eric Slick and Robbie “Seahag” ^ (Guitar for Project Object)
Project Object fucking RULED!! I performed as “Mary” for them during Crew Slut and Wet t-shirt night. Always an honor. Ike Willis is in top form, Don kicks ass, Andre’ gets better all the time, Eric Slick on drums, wow! Robbie Seahag on bass, Eric Svalgard the crazy blond on other keyboards and Robert Martin came out and did a few numbers like Whipping Post and NAILED IT!!! Gregg Allman would approve.
Gotta sleep, ttyl
x
ps. Here is me below as “Mary” for the Crew Slut song/performance (would love to see a video of that, it was hilarious!)
Thursday night at the Dot club and Friday night at the Zappanale I played MARY in the songs Crew Slut and Fembot in a Wet Shirt (still waiting for someone to send me some pics of that)
I was slinking around each Project Object band member during the song and in this shot ^ back to back with Robert Martin
Robert Martin again ^ and I
“Hey hey hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know youre probly gettin tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta try
A little friendly advice
And be a crew slut
Hey, youll love it
Be a crew slut
Its a way of life
Be a crew slut
See the world
Dont make a fuss, just get on the bus
Crew slut
Add water makes its own sauce
Be a crew slut
So you dont forget, call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you
You never to get move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer probly gettin tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what its like
To go from place to place
So, darlin, take a little ride
On the mixers face
Be a crew slut
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a crew slut
Hey, youll love it!
Be a crew slut
Its a way of life
I aint gonna squash it
And you dont need to wash it!” FRANK ZAPPA
https://vimeo.com/38287559
Back again with more pics from Saturday night at the Zappanale:
Project Object leader ^ and his lovely lady
OMFG, Roberts hands are AMAZING!! Wish he would do my feet 🙂
It is really hard to get good in concert shots. But I get some good in person pics. You can’t capture their music in pics anyways and my camera is too crap to make any decent videos of the shows
Eric Slick (drummer genius) on stage after his performance with Project Object ^
SUNDAY (last night of the Zappanale) below:
Was fun hanging out with Bruce again. He told many private things about himself, it was awesome to get close to such a genius mind. He is so kind and gentle; makes you want to protect him.
Ike and I have known each other for 21 years. His mind is still sharp as a whip and his sense of humor is as amazing as his voice. LOVE HIM!
Ah, to be a fly on the wall- wait, I was there. Super Fly. ha.
The Zappanale is 4 days/nights of Zappa fun, but everyone is SUPER tired by Sunday night. Terry looked so fucking fit, wow. He claims he is “getting fat” but I didn’t see any on him.
Zappa alumni Sandwich part 2 (or 3?) keep em coming..
Wolfhard is the founder of the Zappanale, started it 20 years ago. Super nice guy and he is a MASSIVE Zappa freak, he doesn’t do this festival for anything else but the love he has for Frank Zappa’s music. Thomas is the president of the Arf Society (google it, I’m too tired to write about it 😉
Wolfhard is rather shy and keeps to himself, not one to ask for pics or autographs, but he did want one with Bruce. They are both amazing people.
When I left the festival I noticed a rowdy bar still open in Bad Doberan and went in and it was PACKED with hard core Zappa fans (Zappateers). One of them, from the UK, had this hair cut goin’ on. Ha.
Will TRY to ad more text and pics soon.
Haven’t really wrote much about the music. Not much to say apart from you can never get enough Frank Zappa music. Some were bored with Terry Bozzio’s 90 min drum solo set but hey, he IS Terry Bozzio and well, RESPECT! One thing that REALLY gets on my tits about the Zappanale is you have to listen to the same fucking songs over and over and OVER again because it seems to be impossible to controll what each band plays so they ALL play Frank’s top ten hits (I am the slime, dirty love, etc etc.) Project Object did the BEST version EVER of Whipping Post with Bobby Martin and hello? Some Austrian Band (Sex without Nails) did it the very next night. Jesus, have some fucking respect will ya? Give it up. I hate that. I think all bands should pick their songs from a Zappanale lottery 6 months before the festival and NO ONE should be allowed to repeat a song!!
What about Truck Driver Divorce? Or Lucille has messed my Mind up? There are HUNDREDS of songs to choose from yet we have to endure the same fucking songs repeatedly (which is ok if you are drunk and stoned out of your Zappa loving mind) but I am NOT so it bothers me and the other few sober cunts there. FOR FUCK SAKE!!! I asked the powers that be (Thomas and Wolfhard) about this and they said they DO try to control it BUT the bands “do what they want once they get up on the stage”. How can they play repeats? Are they retarded? Don’t they know how many SONGS Frank Zappa actually has? pfft.
If you want a different view of the Zappanale, keep your eye out for Andrew Greenaways web site, he will surely cover it once he is back in the UK and sober: www.idiotbastard.com
x
Jimmy Carl Black’s lovely but very sad, widow “Moni”
Dance Recording: "LoveStoned/I Think She Knows," Justin Timberlake, Nate (Danja) Hills, Timbaland & Justin Timberlake, producers; Jimmy Douglass & Timbaland, mixers.
Electronic/Dance Album: "We Are the Night," The Chemical Brothers.
Bluegrass Album: "The Bluegrass Diaries," Jim Lauderdale.
Traditional Blues Album: "Last of the Great Mississippi Delta Bluesmen: Live In Dallas," Henry James Townsend, Joe Willie "Pinetop" Perkins, Robert Lockwood Jr. & David "Honeyboy" Edwards.
Contemporary Blues Album: "The Road to Escondido," JJ Cale & Eric Clapton.
New Age Album: "Crestone," Paul Winter Consort.
Contemporary Jazz Album: "River: The Joni Letters," Herbie Hancock. Jazz Vocal Album: "Avant Gershwin," Patti Austin.
Jazz Instrumental Solo: "Anagram," Michael Brecker, soloist.
Jazz Instrumental Album, Individual or Group: "Pilgrimage," Michael Brecker.
Large Jazz Ensemble Album: "A Tale of God's Will (A Requiem for Katrina)," Terence Blanchard.
Latin Jazz Album: "Funk Tango," Paquito D'Rivera Quintet.
Latin Pop Album: "El Tren De Los Momentos," Alejandro Sanz.
Latin Rock or Alternative Album: "No Hay Espacio," Black:Guayaba.
Latin Urban Album: "Residente O Visitante," Calle 13.
Tropical Latin Album: "La Llave De Mi Corazon," Juan Luis Guerra.
Tejano Album: "Before the Next Teardrop Falls," Little Joe & La Familia.
Norteno Album: "Detalles Y Emociones," Los Tigres Del Norte.
Banda Album: "Te Va A Gustar," El Chapo. Traditional Folk Album: "Dirt Farmer," Levon Helm.
Contemporary Folk/Americana Album: "Washington Square Serenade," Steve Earle.
Native American Music Album: "Totemic Flute Chants," Johnny Whitehorse.
Hawaiian Music Album: "Treasures of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar," Various Artists, Daniel Ho, George Kahumoku Jr., Paul Konwiser & Wayne Wong, producers.
Zydeco or Cajun Music Album: "Live! Worldwide," Terrance Simien & The Zydeco Experience. Reggae: "Mind Control," Stephen Marley.
Traditional World Music Album: "African Spirit," Soweto Gospel Choir. Contemporary World Music Album: "Djin Djin," Angelique Kidjo.
Polka Album: "Come Share the Wine," Jimmy Sturr and His Orchestra.
Gospel Performance: "Blessed & Highly Favored," The Clark Sisters; "Never Gonna Break My Faith," Aretha Franklin & Mary J. Blige (Featuring The Harlem Boys Choir).
(Tie.) Gospel Song: "Blessed & Highly Favored," Karen Clark-Sheard, songwriter (The Clark Sisters).
Rock or Rap Gospel Album: "Before the Daylight's Shot," Ashley Cleveland.
Pop/Contemporary Gospel Album: "A Deeper Level," Israel and New Breed.
Southern, Country or Bluegrass Gospel Album: "Salt of the Earth," Ricky Skaggs & The Whites.
Traditional Gospel Album: "Live — One Last Time," The Clark Sisters.
Contemporary R&B Gospel Album: "Free to Worship," Fred Hammond.
Compilation Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: Love (The Beatles) George Martin & Giles Martin, producers (Apple Records/Capitol Records).
Score Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Ratatouille," Michael Giacchino, composer. Song Written for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Love You I Do (From Dreamgirls)," Siedah Garrett & Henry Krieger, songwriters (Jennifer Hudson).
Musical Show Album: "Spring Awakening," Duncan Sheik, producer; Duncan Sheik, composer; Steven Sater, lyricist (Original Broadway Cast With Jonathan Groff, Lea Michele & Others).
Musical Album for Children: "A Green and Red Christmas," The Muppets.
Spoken Word: "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream," Barack Obama.
Spoken Word Album for Children: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," Jim Dale.
Comedy Album: "The Distant Future," Flight of the Conchords.
Instrumental Composition: "Cerulean Skies," Maria Schneider, composer (Maria Schneider Orchestra). Instrumental Arrangement: "In a Silent Way," Vince Mendoza, arranger (Joe Zawinul).
Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s): "I'm Gonna Live Till I Die," John Clayton, arranger (Queen Latifah).
Engineered Album, Non-Classical: "Beauty & Crime," Tchad Blake, Cameron Craig, Emery Dobyns & Jimmy Hogarth, engineers (Suzanne Vega).
Surround Sound: "Love," Paul Hicks, surround mix engineer; Tim Young, surround mastering engineer; George Martin & Giles Martin, surround producers (The Beatles).
Classical Album: "Tower: Made in America," Leonard Slatkin, conductor; Tim Handley, producer; Tim Handley, engineer/mixer (Nashville Symphony).
Orchestral Performance: "Tower: Made in America," Leonard Slatkin, conductor (Nashville Symphony). Producer of the Year, Classical: Judith Sherman.
Engineered Album, Classical: "Grechaninov: Passion Week," John Newton, engineer (Charles Bruffy, Phoenix Bach Choir & Kansas City Chorale).
Opera Recording: "Humperdinck: Hansel & Gretel," Sir Charles Mackerras, conductor; Rebecca Evans, Jane Henschel & Jennifer Larmore; Brian Couzens, producer (Sarah Coppen, Diana Montague & Sarah Tynan; New London Children's Choir; Philharmonia Orchestra).
Choral Performance: "Brahms: Ein Deutsches Requiem," Simon Rattle, conductor; Simon Halsey, chorus master (Thomas Quasthoff & Dorothea Roschmann; Rundfunkchor Berlin; Berliner Philharmoniker).
Chamber Music Performance: "Strange Imaginary Animals," Eighth Blackbird.
Small Ensemble Performance: "Stravinsky: Apollo, Concerto in D; Prokofiev: 20 Visions Fugitives," Yuri Bashmet, conductor; Moscow Soloists. Classical Vocal Performance: "Lorraine Hunt Lieberson Sings Peter Lieberson: Neruda Songs," Lorraine Hunt Lieberson (James Levine; Boston Symphony Orchestra).
Classical Contemporary Composition: "Made in America," Joan Tower (Leonard Slatkin, conductor; Nashville Symphony Orchestra).
Classical Crossover Album: "A Love Supreme: The Legacy of John Coltrane," Turtle Island Quartet.
Short Form Music Video: "God's Gonna Cut You Down," Johnny Cash.
Long Form Music Video: "The Confessions Tour," Madonna.
Recording Package: "Cassadaga," Zachary Nipper, art director (Bright Eyes). Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package: "What It Is!: Funky Soul and Rare Grooves (1967-1977)," Masaki Koike, art director.
Album Notes: "John Work, III: Recording Black Culture," Bruce Nemerov, album notes writer.
Historical Album: "The Live Wire — Woody Guthrie in Performance 1949," Nora Guthrie & Jorge Arevalo Mateus, compilation producers; Jamie Howarth, Steve Rosenthal, Warren Russell-Smith & Dr. Kevin Short, mastering engineers (Woody Guthrie).
