Tag: hoboken

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Myspace WHORE

It is sunny in Berlin, but really cold. Not just the weather either Wink  I have to say it is getting harder to adjust each time I go back and forth from NYC to Berlin. Takes longer each time. The differences are amazing. It's cleaner here in Berlin and more organized but the people just do not smile on the street and if you make eye contact with them and grin, they look at you like you must be drunk and/or crazy. Note to self: stop smiling.

Jasmine is back from Italy and can speak really good Italian (she would stop me and correct me "It's NOT GOOD, it's WELL!!" but hey, I think if James Brown sang "I feel well" it just wouldn't have had the same impact. I feel GOOD dammit. Well, not really, my throat is still keeping me down, making me sleep 10 hours a day. Going to a new Ear, Nose Throat Doctor today, see what SHE says. If it's true the American Doctor "Forgot loads of tissue!".

Anyways, it is sooooooo great to see and squeeze Jasmine again. My true love. My sweetie pie. She's a big girl now and wants to go live in NYC for 5 months or so. NOT Hoboken, she wants to live directly in Manhattan and will do so soon. OMG, more sleepless nights to come. I often ponder having another kid but would I just worry even more? Does the love outweigh the worry? I am sure it does. I am so stuck in my ways now though, I love sleeping in; sleeping until I feel like it. Traveling where and when I feel like it. If I have another child all that shit will come to a screaming halt. But I now have the funds and capability to have a nanny, to do the boring work: laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning.. which would leave me more time and energy to give more fun love to the child and sneak in a jog or two as well as regular concerts and karaoke nights.. oh the decisions. I am a Libra and can never decide anything.

My Birthday is this Friday. I hate birthdays. I think anyone over 30 hates Birthdays. BUT it is a fact, we all grow old (unless we get shot, run over or die of cancer before old age sets it). I guess one has to embrace it, but I will remain immature and youthful as long as possible. I am very immature. I admit it. I find myself gravitating to older women (STILL) to get my Mommy fix. Never got that motherly love so I crave it, still. Any women who read this and have a child or are thinking of having a child, be sure to love your child the best you can, as often as  you can or they will grow up clinging to older women, like I do, it's pathetic.

Joe Jackson just called, he will come over again for another massage. He came last week and pointed out something to me that has never, in 18 years of flying back and forth from Berlin to NYC, occurred to me. Joe was trying to get a massage at like 8 pm last week and I said "Oh, no, I fall asleep at 7pm for a couple weeks after landing, thanks to Jet Lag". Joe says something that made me feel dumbstruck. He goes "Wot? You go to bed at 7pm and get up at 6am, that means you have Backwards jetlag Dot". LOL!!  We talked about it and he is right. It makes NO fucking sense that I get up early after flying from NYC to Berlin. If I go to bed at 7pm here (Berlin) it is 1pm in NYC. Then I get up at 6am here but it's only midnight in NYC. But that's how I've been doing it for the last 18 years. So I have Backwards Jet Lag, as diagnosed by Mr. Joe Jackson. heh heh.

Anyhow, the two pictures below were taken on my balcony in the USA (notice Danny in the background)..Someone from myspace sent me (well, my assistant in Baltimore) this t-shirt to me as a present. I LOVE IT.

Gotta run, ttyl

x 

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Recent pictures of NYC, Weehawken and Hoboken, NJ

 Ok, 8 days after surgery and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can only sleep for 4 hours max, then due to ear aches & dry throat from the surgery, I wake and can't fall back sleep, but I have been getting a lot done nevertheless. Look at all the blogs I have been writing Kiss

 

Some of these pictures are a few weeks old. The one above, from left to right, is of Tom, Jeremiah & my uncle Jack (my late Mother's younger brother). They are obviously flaming gay and call themselves the "Sears of Gay" since they are from the 'burbs of CT. They have been together for 19 years (maybe even 20 by now) and are legally married. Now they have reached the pot of gold at the end of every gay rainbow and have adopted a baby. He is cute as hell and actually a blood relative. 

My cousin Crystal, who's Mother Irene is my late Mother's younger sister is her mother. Anyways, Crystal already has 2 healthy children and decided to make their dream come true and allow my Uncle and his husband adopt her baby; they were even there to cut the cord. I suggested they call Ophra, but then again, in conservative CT, it may be unwise to cause a fuss. 

Jeremiah gets all the love he needs and Tom is the dotting "Mom" so to speak and can barely wait to get home from work to show his son loads of love and attention. They are great parents. Funny thing is, when we all go out to eat, I catch myself putting lipstick on at the dinner table, you know, after eating and looking in my pocket mirror for food between my teeth, self absorbed behavior and I look around and see people watching me and imagine they must be thing "what an ignorant Mother! She has barely given that kid any attention all meal, the poor men have to do all the work!". Then I have to giggle and think , if they ONLY knew the situation.

It's also funny walking around with them as people stop and want to say "the baby looks just like…..you?" ha ha. What a gas.  

Obviously Jeremiah is inspired by my many "foot on tour" pictures and has pulled a copy cat move here in Hoboken ^

 The view from Weehawken is also breath taking. I was thinking, Jeremiah is gonna have to grow a thick skin. He is half black, has white parents, who are both male and gay and his name isn't exactly the kind that blends in. I hope he takes karate lessons before he hits the 4th grade. The part of CT they live in is predominately white and conservative like I said. Oh well, it is his destiny to open minds; to rock the boat Innocent

 

 

So I am sitting here sipping pure cranberry juice and listening to the Who's Quadrophenia. I was inspired to hear more Who by my friend Justin Kreutzmann. His father is the son of the Grateful Dead drummer, Bill. Justin is a film director and just sent me a dvd he directed for the Who called 'Fragments; fan club dvd'. It is amazing. 

Justin said he would someday direct my "how to give a massage" dvd that I have been dreaming of making for years now. That would rock if it happened. I wonder if  I could convince Sting to keep his word and be in my dvd. Or I could ask Simon Cowell, I bet he would do it 🙂

Justin works full time for Pete Townshend, filming and doing whatever.. great job to have, or?  

Aaah, Jonesy . It was SO GREAT to hang with Jonesy again. He is one of my favorite people on earth. Talent oozes out of every pore of his. He is a singer and stand up comedian. He  was singing "I keep forgetting we're not in love anymore" by Michael McDonald when I took this shot. He sounded EXACTLY like the original. Jonesy can morph into anyone he sings. He can do Aretha Franklin and sound just like her, seriously. When I first met him, I walked into a karaoke bar and heard "Misses, misses Jones" (you know that great song?) and wondered which black dude must be on the mic. I came further into the bar and it was a short blonde guy from Boston. That was about 3 or 4 years ago and we have been best buddies ever since. I can NOT understand why he isn't famous yet. He is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay funnier than Dane Cook. I predict he will be the next Jim Carey. Mark my words. 

Brooke is a karoake DJ at Iggy's in NYC. She is 24 and an Opera singer so I have no idea what such a gorgeous girl is doing hosting karaoke. I love going there on Monday nights as you can sing ANYTHING as it's not so crowded. Jonesy, Danny and I were whipping out such crazy tunes. I sang Rocky Raccoon, Happiness is a warm gun  and Back in the Saddle again (none of which I ever tried before). Those were the days, when I could go sing karaoke 🙁  I wonder how long I have to wait to (1) sing karaoke (2) give head after this tonsil surgery. I really wonder. 

Danny and I ventured out to sing with the "Super Karaoke Fun Time Band" in Jersey City.

They were supposed to start at 10pm and only play until Midnight so I was rather annoyed that they played 20 minutes of them jamming (mainly cool Stones tunes). I mean, us karaoke whores were DYING to grab the mic and sing with the live band so it was torture just listening to them heh heh. If I want to go see a live band, I will go see Steve Vai ok? I went there because the bar was hosting Live Karaoke.

After 20 minutes of them jamming (which I figured out was them just pulling off a sound check while on the clock) Danny and I got to sing some songs. I sang Back in Black, Dirty Deeds and Helter Skelter. Danny sang I touch myself and YMCA, which he did NOT sign up for; I signed him up secretly and he was not amused, but still pulled it off well. Singing with a live band is waaaaay better than normal karaoke.  I filmed Danny and he filmed me, but it was too dark in the tiny shit hole, so I had to scrap the material, sadly.

 Fet once again, made our photo shoot fantasy come true by photo-shopping Danny ^

 

Even shopping with Danny is fun. I am such a fag hag. 

I was walking down Washington street in Hoboken the other day and thought to myself, these ^ guys look so old school Hoboken (home of Frank Sinatra and  supposedly the birth place of Baseball (but I can imagine Romans playing stick ball WAAAY before America was even discovered) 

Typical scene on a week end night in Hoboken outside the Path train station, girls waiting for a taxi ride home..

sweet. I LOVE Hoboken.

x 

ps. Steve Vai emailed me today and asked me for my home address. Wonder if he is sending me a get well soon present? I will definitely drag my ass to his show on the 28th (tomorrow). I can't miss it! I will just have to keep my mouth shut backstage and not say too much, as it hurts to talk.. it's a big challenge for me (being quiet 🙂 

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The NY Press passes the buck

Getting ready to have my tonsil operation. They will be removed Tuesday morning, bright and early ( I will probably just stay up as I have to be there at 6am).

The fact that the NY Press dumped a few of it's writers, me and Ed Koch (former NYC mayor) included because of their new format isn't as annoying as the fact that they probably knew ahead of time, like end of July that they would be dumping my column as that is why they didn't bother to pay me for all 4 of my August columns or the first week of September's column. For all 5 weeks, my column was printed but yet they won't pay. They are passing the buck. The new editor David Blum changes his story all the time. First excuse was "it will just take longer, but you will get paid". Then it was "It is not my responsibility" then he told the New York Post reporter Keith Kelly that I was already paid and that he is "only in charge since 1 August" (DUH, that means he should pay me for August and Sept, no? WTF!??). The New York Press is simply passing the buck.

 

LAWYER TIME. 

Jerry Portwood, the old editor, well, he is still there, but was demoted as now David Blum is the big cheese, claims it is the new editors responsibility. The paper simply disrespects it's writers; always has, always will. For the couple years I wrote for them, my column was ALWAYS punctual, yet my pay was always late. Always. They conveniently paid one month late and yet let me know one week before my column was dumped so you can imagine, I will never get paid. It's not the amount that bothers me, it is the principle that big corporations like Manhattan Media (which bought the paper recently ) can shit on the little people and get away with it.

The Libra in me is into justice and I can see it will take a while until Justice is served. I will keep you posted. Of course emails to David Blum and Jerry Portwood wouldn't hurt either. heh heh..

"Let it go" some say. Just let it go. Let the German guy who chased me (stalked me) and knocked me out in January get away with it, let the NY Press get away with having 5 weeks of my great sex column for free. Let everyone just go ahead and take advantage. Nice people get walked on, like a fucking rug. Karma is taking a break I see. Hope she gets back soon and kicks some serious ass. 

Jasmine is in Italy now, studying Italian. She loves it there. I will visit her in October.. she said where she is, is like the Kreuzberg of Italy. Hippies galore. Dread locks galore. Cross yer fingers she is safe over there, my little flower.

ttyl

x

 

 

Britney Spears finally explains ^ her less than excellent performance at the MTV "music" awards last week

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Thank you Philly, PA for showing me another great time x

  Me- sleep deprived forgot to cut the music clip from “Philly Part 1” so the music goes on 3 minutes longer than the freakin’ video footage. Oh well, at least it’s a great song.   

 I told my uncle Jack that for some strange reason, I felt ‘at home in Philly. He said “probably because when your Mother was young, Philly was her stomping grounds, her play ground for raising extreme amounts of hell”. My Mom was born in Camden, NJ and even though I hear it’s a shit hole now, it was apparently great back then.

I was asked to go to Philly to massage Mr. Simon Cowell, who is on the American Idol audition tour. I left NYC around 2am and Pooh and I got there at 3:55 am. Last time I was in that area, well, Camden, to massage Sting, it took me SIX HOURS because of traffic, so I learned one should never attempt that route in the day time, if in a hurry.  

Had a wonderful sleep on the floor of my Four Seasons Hotel room floor. The bed was as soft as Hugh Hefner’s balls. They need to invest in some new mattresses. I prefer the floor anyways. 

I find the Philly accent so amusing. Especially the way the say “Coffee”. I pretend I didn’t hear them and make them repeat it over and over again. It’s hilarious. It’s like “Cawfee”

Danny, my ‘Boken buddy, reminded me that FET my top friend from myspace lives in Philly, so we finally got to meet and make some cheeky pics & videos. 

Don’t let him fool you, there is Beer in that there jug ^  Cool

Fet and I had a BLAST from the moment we met. He is a good laugh and has a good heart. 

I didn’t know which way to point my camera, there was so much action, so many sights and things to gawk at..

People are STARVING and yet us American’s still invent and drive these obscene gas guzzlers that destroy the Ozone at an alarming rate, just to show off and be “cool”. Yell

I am at a loss for words….

 Doesn’t that look like a beautiful day to you? LOVED it.

 

This is where the naughty behavior started; the statues were oh so inviting.

 “Ride ’em in RAWHIDE!” 

  < A gift from Danny

Danny insisted I give Simon these silly collectors card, which pokes fun at him. I wasn’t sure how he would act, but I love to push people’s buttons, so I handed it to him and he just laughed. Simon and I chatted for a half hour before I started the massage, I guess so he could get some insight as to what I was like as a person. After a while he realized that I was extremely cheeky, very sarcastic indeed and he said “wow, and I thought I was mean. Dr. Dot you should be on my show; you would even make ME look nice”

Ahh, music to my ears. Heh heh. Yes, I am MEAN. Love it! The Grinch all year long in fact.

Anyways, Simon even posed with the silly card, as you can see below. He is so fucking cool. Some celebs are stuck up or stuck on themselves and refuse to pose and some even snicker at giving an autograph, but Simon was fine with me taking his pic and signing an autograph for me. What a sweet heart.  

Danny is over the moon about this ^ fyi

You can tell he is a nice guy by his smiling eyes..

I STILL can’t figure out the f*cking self timer on my camer, so I took this one with my left hand ^

I don’t have a scanner here, so I had to photograph it ^ Doh! 

 He is for sure one of my favorite clients now. SUPER polite and generous; an English gentleman. 

Typical situation here ^ All bed clothes on the floor, where I sleep, and Pooh close to my heart (I have had him over 20 years & can not sleep without him)

 

 work, work, work, it never ends  ^  and since I LOVE what I do, it doesn’t feel like work.

OMG!! LMFAO!!

On my way back up to NYC, one has to pass through Cherry Hill, NJ and I was speeding along, on the phone when this guy above, caught my eye. I nearly caused a major car crash by zipping over a couple lanes of traffic at full speed as not to miss the street closest to this amusing Diner. I even went up a one way street, the wrong way and pulled an illegal u-turn to get into the parking lot. 

This is one of those old fashioned diners, where the people still eat in their cars. ^  I couldn’t BELIEVE it. That old couple couldn’t believe that I have never seen one before.

 The Elvis impersonator was out there, alone, with a TINY boom box and an Elvis cd, singing away, to NO ONE. He was so sweet to perform for me and pose. I gave him a massive tip and a hug.  It was around 90 degrees out that day, so he must have been sweating his great balls of fire off in that red polyester jumpsuit. Poor fella. The stuff I come across is so bizarre, I am So happy I have my camera on me at ALL times now a days. Wish I did that when I followed the Grateful Dead. That was a nonstop freak show. I was too care free to carry a camera or a cell phone or even a beeper. If it didn’t fit in my back pack, it didn’t come with me (and yes, Pooh was there with me too). 

It was so fun to meet the photo-shop King in person (Fet). Look at the funny things he makes me ^

ps. The Elvis impersonator can be contacted at:
mcmichaelshark@yahoo.com
and/or 1-856- 665- 2249

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Dr. Dot …… the fag hag

< NOT gay

Ok I think it's best I make a few tiny blogs at this point, rather than one giant one. I had a LONG flight to NYC and luckily I sat next to a cheery lad named Bryan. He is from Wisconsin and was in Berlin visiting his girlfriend (who was an exchange student in th USA for one year). She made him a shirt, that he had on, that said "I LOVE STEFFI" with a picture of them two together. The boy is LOVE SICK. 

He and I chatted the whole flight and suffered together the WHOLE flight. It's not bad enough that it's 9 hours but they took an extra hour deciding when to fucking take off. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. We had an empty seat between us so it was ok. Poor kid had to change planes in NYC and missed his connecting flight and had to wait 6 hours for the next flight (he told me this on line). Have you ever seen the flick "planes, trains and automobiles"? You get the drift. HELL. 

 

 ^ I am wearing a string thong fyi …. (Mein arsch ist 'ne slip fresser)

It doesn't take me long to get back into the swing of things. Hanging out with my gay friends, baring our asses all over the place.. Danny is starting to get into karaoke, like me. He sings Abba "Waterloo" and "Sweet Transvestite" from the Rocky Horror Picture show soundtrack and "I touch myself" by the Dyvinls (sp?). He also belts out "you ain't woman enough to steal my man".

I sang "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse, "Coshise" by Audioslave, "Hurt so good" by John Cougar and"what's love go to do with it" by Tina Turner. Things are rather slow, erm, empty in the city, but I am sure that will change after Labor Day. Then it gets packed again. 

 ^VERY gay  Kiss

Danny and I ate at my favorite restaurant, the Yaffa Cafe (St. Marks Place). It's open 24/7 and has EVERYTHING. The cooks are outrageous and it's cheap.The gaudy, tacky surroundings keep your eyes busy throughout the meal if you get sick of looking at your dinner date. Perfect for taking pics.  

Danny is in school to be a TV writer. We are already working on our first screen play too. My idea, but he will have to write it, as I haven't the time. It's a movie, well, centered around music, that's all I can tell you for now, snap. 

I can't believe Danny has never posed at Times Square yet. He almost got run over, pants down and all. Anyways, I am happy to be back in the USA, NYC fucking ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel overwhelmed though, as I have to write my weekly column today and I STILL have not finished my Zappanale blog. UGH!! I have to do it within 48 hours or I will enter "self loathing" territory and won't be able to sleep. If I don't write, I feel constipated. Like posting a big blog makes me feel lighter, you know that feeling I am talking about. Like you just took the BEST dump ever. I am a blog addict. I admit it. It's 7am and the sun is shining and I am STILL UP. Back to my old sleep pattern. The sun is over rated anyways.

 

Ttyl

x 

ps. I got a call from a VIP, so I could be going to Philly this weekend to massage them. Would LOVE to say who it is, but that would jinx it.. Cool

 

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NYC/NJ video…round 1

 

Catherine ^ my friend, best massage assistant and right hand woman, comes up to NYC to visit me and we just trade massages for 3 days straight or more. Our hair gets so much massage oil in it, that we stick to wearing hats and laying low until the massage fest is over. But ooooooooh, it's so worth the message hair. It's heaven on earth! Some clients are lucky enough to get our 4 handed massage when she is up visiting from Baltimore. I do their backs while she does their legs and then we switch. Paradise. 

Braveheart ^ 

Another treat in May was massaging Adam Levine again. Talented eye candy. The girls LOVE him.

 

Speaking of eye candy. Look who I found wandering around NYC.. a real live cowboy (from Wales). Thought for sure he was a yank with that hat on.  Maybe he doesn't herd cows or horses, but sheep? Anyways, he's as pretty as a picture. 

Thanks to the dollar being so low and useless, the Brits and Irish are floodig Manhattan. These lads are from an Irish Rugby team. 


 My gay friend Darren was enjoying the fleshy show. I only drink two glasses of wine when I go out. Apparently it's too many.

I hate the song, but it is truly "Raining Men" in NYC. Straight, Gay, Buff, Rich, Poor, Fun, Boring and/or from every corner of the world you can imagine. If these guys are willing to take off their clothes in public, why shouldn't I take some lovely pictures? Too bad one can't hear their accents through the pictures, the Welsh and Irish accents are oooh soooo lovely.

Darren, my gay pal, is the one with the wild eyes and tiny goatee' beard. He was THOROUGHLY enjoying all the men loitering around us at one of my favorite karaoke bars, Solas. I am a fag hag again. Between Danny and Darren, it appears I do in fact get along rather well with gay men. In the past, I have seen some act more vicious than any bitch could dream of being, so I was afraid of hanging with gays. But I am over that, we get along and if we have to have a tiny cat fight, we do and move on. The fights always seem to revolve around tits, men and another catty fag hag, but oh well, it's worth all the fun in the end.

Speaking of GAY, today, sore throat and all, I dragged my tired ass out to witness the annual Christopher Street day parade.I took my new and improved video camera out with me for the first time and made LOADS of videos. I now have the task of editing and narrating it, blah blah blah. That's coming up next 🙂 

By night or day, Manhattan is breathtaking to look at. Almost as breathtaking as the energy it gives off. Even the surrounding burrows; the ambition and joy that the people feel is contagious. You get high off it. NYC: a natural high. I LOVE NEW YORK (and Hoboken 🙂

 

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Curse of the Sopranos and Beyonce Knowles gorgeous behind

I have never seen the Sopranos ( that show on HBO?) BUT I know about the show, because, EVERYDAY since I have lived back in the USA ( 18 months) people come up to me and tell me “You look JUST like that girl from the Sopranos” or “Oh, I thought you-

-were her!! Adriana from the Sopranos” So, let us have a look

You decide, do we look alike? I wish I could figure out how to write NEXT to the photos, but the BLOG format won't let me.So now, let us talk about Beyonce's gorgeous rump.I don't understand why the world makes such a fuss about Jennifer Lopez's ass, because Beyonce has obviously more back than J.Lo. Baby's got a bootylicious back side and she should have it insured.Just thought I would mention my admiration for curvy women.I was in CVS tonight, in the “diet pills” section, as my pal told me he is so thin and trim thanks to these pills.