Stimulus – Econ 101

Stimulus – Econ 101 
 
1. As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.


2. The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

3. The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Farmer's Co-op.

4. The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

5. The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

6. The hotel owner then places the $100 back on the counter so the tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment the tourist comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Stimulus works.

 
 
 

Ralf and the Hen

Ralph and the Hen

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said,

"You died in your sleep, Ralph."

Ralph was stunned.

"I'm dead? No, I can't be, I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past.

"So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"

"Not bad." replied Ralph the hen, " but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, ". obviously you've never laid an egg before.
Well, just relax and let it happen. It's no big deal." said the rooster.

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped his first egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg — his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout…..

"Dammit, Ralph! Wake up! You're shittin' in the bed!"