love – Page 2 – Dr. Dot's Blog

March 4, 2010

Ask Dr. Dot March 2010

Email me with your questions and I will answer back personally as soon as possible. I always change names around, so your secret is safe with me: drdot@drdot.com

I am with a new femme fatale right now and she has opened up new doors (no pun intended) of giving me pleasure through the ass.

I once thought it was the domain of gay men but I fight it most agreeable to say the least.

To stimulate my hiney she has used a variety of methods including a finger with lots of lube and a massager she applies to my taint.

Dr. Dot, this woman claims that through my sphincter hole she can reach my g-spot. Is that true?

Also, as a follow up do men have g-spots and are there alternative ways to reach them.

Thanks for your mastery on this hard matter Doctor.

I gotta go play with my taint.

Tainted Timmy

The man's prostate is pretty much the equivalent of the woman’s G-spot.
Easiest way to reach it is to lie on your back, legs up in the air and lots
of lube near by. If you don't mind a bit of pain, you can also be in the
doggy style position and let your partner take you from behind.
Have your partner explore your taint and hole with her
hopefully short fingernail fingertips. Try to relax your sphincter. They
should search for a chestnut-sized lump a couple inches
inside of your entrance. Rubbing, thrusting, pounding it all stimulate
and you just have to find out what your preference is, as when done
correctly, they can make you cum like you've never cum before.

Do you think a woman faking an Orgasm could actually be a good thing at times?
What I mean by this is by making the guy think he's doing something right, he actually
gets into the act more, and therefore faking a O could actually produce one and
make sex better for both parties? Does that make sense?

By leading the guy on, he wants to produce more, other than killing his ego at the
very beginning, where the sex has no chance of being good. I've actually faked
Orgasms recently just to get it over with because it was SOOOOO boring and
I'm a guy. How fucking hard is it to make a guy happy?

Hasty Hal

No, it is never good when people fake orgasms. We all know women do it more than
men but it's completely counter productive and full of shit. Why praise someone if
they aren't doing it right? Make them WORK for it. If a person just can't cum, they
should just say "go ahead and finish; go for it, I won't cum but I still want you to".
It is ridiculous to pretend reaching climax. Telling your partner that you've "got a
spot that gets you hot, and you ain't been to it" as Frank Zappa sang, should
actually create a challenge and in turn, make sex better for both parties. Fuck the
candy coated lies. Truth rules.

Are there extra fat dildos? The ones I have, and the ones I see online and
while browsing assorted sex shops around here just don’t have enough girth for me.
Perhaps from squeezing out one too many kids. I could never afford one of those
fancy pussy operations to that make one’s snatch tighter. Any idea where get a wide,
not long, dildo? I am not joking here. I LOVE girth.

Girthy Gail

Until “Blackzilla” (google this guy, he is Vin Diesels twin black brother?) makes a rubber replica of

his ridiculously wide cock, you could always just buy a fat cucumber, warm it up first, put condom on it and PRESTO, girth.
(Condom keeps things hygienic and smooth). Naturally you have to keep buying them
but if you are on a low budget as you insinuate, you can peel it and eat it; feed to pets
or put in compost bin after you’ve had your wicked way with it so you don’t feel
guilty for being wasteful.

I’ve been hanging out with a girl recently and we're sorta like friends / drinking partners.
We haven’t had intercourse yet but every time she gives me a hand-job (three times) and
a blowjob (twice). She covers her hands in my cum and plays with pussy for a good 5 minutes after.

She seems a genuinely nice girl but is she attempting to get pregnant or is this a ridiculous
accusation to make? please help. One major reason I haven’t whined about this to her yet is
she is my boss and the way the economy is, I am hesitant to rock the boat.

Scared Shitless

She CAN get pregnant like this, yes. Sperm can wiggle
their way up her twat and make a dash for the egg. It's not
the easiest journey but it is possible.
This is a dangerous game she is playing. She is obviously into you but dumb,
as she doesn't know you well enough to know if you have an STD or not or
if you have enough time/money/desire to become a father.
The fact she loves your spunk may be flattering, but ask yourself this:
are you ready to be a father or settle down with such a risk taker?
Tell her she can/will get pregnant if she keeps wanking off with your lube and
make sure you use a condom when/if you shag her unless you're ready take
on a lifetime commitment to a child.

I met a man last spring, we began getting intimate after a few dates that spanned
over a period of 2 months; he seemed interested, and serious about it.
After becoming intimate, he clearly showed me our relationship would only consist
in sex every other week, and that I was his booty call early in the morning – after 1 am,
after done partying with his buddies. He is 5 yrs younger (him 27, me 32).
I soon realized and stopped seeing him. He went away for the summer and we kept
in contact by messenger, on weekly basis; he wasn’t really deep, but interested on how I was doing.
This made me hope things would turn for better between us.
He came back this October, I agreed to meet him to clarify things, but we ended up having sex.
We met 3 times since his return; the 2nd time I got over my fear of finding out hurtful truth,
and asked him what's up with us, and told all my suspicions – that he's sleeping around, etc.
He confessed he is single, he's only into sex, he does it almost everyday, he runs away from
feelings, and he’s got "no time for softness"…

And last time, after a 3 weeks break he told me after we got intimate again that I should not fall
for him, as he enjoys sex too much and has lots of partners, and as to my question “what have
you done during weekend”, he did not answer as I “might not be too strong to take it”, as I have
a weakness for him. Hearing this, I suggested he stopped calling, we stopped meeting.
I am curious about that, as I can feel something keeps bringing us together.
He is protective, I wonder why.
I am mature enough to understand things and split, but I am single and keep convincing myself
I am doing it for sex only, since there's no one else in my life right now.
I wonder how you see things – what leads him to act this way in his life and with me, why am
I accepting such a relationship, why am I not stopping.

Hopeful Hannah

I feel that all boys start out soft, fall wholeheartedly and very deeply into their first love.
Once they get their heart broken, they usually harden up and never love that way again
unless they have a daughter. Not all, but most.
Some men love twice, but never as completely as that first delicate time. They close
off a part of their heart and from then on focus on their friends, job, self and that includes
satisfying themselves however they choose. That's what makes men different then
women. They can be harder and think with their heads, not
with their hearts as most women do. (Not many women found in the front lines of war).
When a guy TELLS you “not to fall for him” and/or that he “likes to fuck around with
multiple partners”, he means it. You should have listened to your little voice the first time
around when it told you to get rid of Mr. Booty Call.

Don’t let your genitals rule your life.
Sleeping with someone who is clearly using you is a sign of low self esteem unless you
REALLY only want sex with no strings attached but
from what I gather, you wish it would turn into more. This guys is obviously enjoying his
bachelorhood and should not be taken seriously. If you do keep banging him, make sure you practice safe sex, which by the way can't protect you from the nasty viruses you can get from swapping spit with a player (Mono, Hepatitis C, etc). You may enjoy the challenge of being the ONE that ties this bad boy down and makes him change, but you can NOT change people and why bother? There are probably other men around that would be happy to give you more than the occasional shag.
If you don't love yourself, feel proud of who you are, what you do and how you treat others,
how can anyone else?
Only YOU can set the boundaries as to how you are to be treated. As far as him being “protective”, well, naturally he wants to protect his booty call.
Step outside yourself + ask, "Do I deserve this crap?" No, you don't. You can't be mad at others
for using you; it’s YOUR fault if you tolerate it. Never forget that.

I just started a relationship with my ex-wife’s best friend, well now former best friend. She was in an "on again off again" relationship with my brother-in-law. It’s been a month; I have already moved in, I watch her 5 kids while she works nights. When we have sex it is awesome, mutual orgasms, everything. Sometimes I take too long reaching climax. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the sex, I'm just not ready for it to end yet. I know a lot of men would love to extend their lovemaking, but she is beginning to think that she is the problem. I can't
seem to get her to understand that my ejaculation, or delay of, is not what counts. It is the sex act itself, the closeness, and human contact. As long as I am inside her, and feeling her body against mine, I don't need anything else.
I am hopelessly in love with her. But she is not ready to settle down, she has a couple of fuck buddies, she just cannot commit right now. I am more than willing to wait for her, but I don’t have the coping skills to deal with the other man and "lady friend". I don’t want to lose my mind, but I have to be with her. What do I do?

Manny the Masochist

Perhaps you can't cum because her pussy is too loose after having 5 kids and so many fuck buddies, it must feel like fucking a can of paint.
You not being about to shoot your load may also stem from your subconscious knowing she can not commit yet, so your sperm is like "why fucking bother, there is probably other sperm up there waiting to attack us anyways!” If she is "not ready to settle down" and "has a couple fuck buddies" yet you have already moved in and started playing Mr. Mom, I need to tell you that you are WHIPPED. Grow some balls mate.
She is walking all over you. It sounds like there aren't many females to choose from in your area if you are dating your ex wife's best friend/brother-in-laws ex. Time to look outside your area, find someone with less baggage (five kids,
fuck buddies, uses you as babysitter),
Hello?! You claim you "have to be with her" yet you are putting up with so much bullshit, which shows you are lacking self-esteem and confidence. You can't change her, so either shut up and put up, or move out.

My wife and I recently had a discussion about women being able to “ejaculate” or “squirt” while having an orgasm.
Is this possible? If yes, how do I get this to happen?

Thirsty Tim-bo

There is research that claims every female is capable of squirting, but most of the time, her ejaculate shoots up
the urethra into the bladder, and she will just piss it out later on. Tests showed that similar hormones were found
in the woman's after-sex urine, which can also be found in male ejaculate.
The clit, some say, is just a tiny penis (keep than in mind when trying to make your woman cum). So, if stimulated
enough, it may just squirt, but not
all females squirt the same way. Naturally the freaky ones
end up on film, leaving people to wonder if ALL females can
squirt like a water pistol. I have personally never squirted; don’t have any female friends that own up squirting
and don't feel I am missing out on any fun. You can read more
about it here though: http://www.squirting101.com

I have supreme trust issues with my partner since I found out he lied to me about going to an erotic massage parlour.
You know the kind, where they give you a release?
Anyway, he went twice; a year ago, and a few months after that, went again. So he says nothing happened and he says he
was completely embarrassed the last time he was there and would never go again. He said he went there because he was depressed;
his father has cancer and still does. So he goes to see his father at least 5 times a week in the same town where he went to the massage parlour. It's a 20-minute drive from here. The problem is, every time he is in that town, I have anxiety and I feel as if he will be tempted to go again. If I bring it up, he screams and yells at me. Tells me I'm creating problems.
I can't help myself and want to be there for him for his father but this is driving me insane!!!! Please help.

Losing it, Linda.

The chances of one of those happy ending whores falling in love with your partner are pretty much NIL. I am not saying it’s kosher that he goes for a full release, but you can't stop him from wanting to do so. Either leave him and move on or just ignore what he does when he leaves the house. As I have said a few times already in the past, the more fuss you make about a man's wandering eye/cock/body, the more enticing the object of his desire becomes. If THAT is the only crime in your relationship he commits, let it roll right off you. If he pisses you off in many other areas, time to walk.

Simply stop mentioning it, no matter how tempting, as it makes you look extremely jealous, insecure and turns you into the nosy nag.
People who are busy and fulfilled in their lives don't have time to snoop and nit pick. If you really love them and don't want to move on, try some role-playing and surprise him once in a while and dress as a sexy nurse and give him a sponge bath,
massage then a very happy ending.

I am a traveling business man and am now faced with a
love triangle from hell. Thing is, I left my blackberry
out on the desk one night and my fiancé' (been dating
her for over 10 years) found it, snooped and called who
I call my "new love". I met new love a year ago and see
her when I travel. She is my dream girl and could not
be happier with her. Old love called new love and told
her who she was, about our engagement etc. and then new
love emailed me next day saying things like "I don't
even know who you are anymore! Move on, liar!" etc. I
tried to apologize and explain but she is ignoring me.
How can I get her back? I am going out of my mind. I
don't want to lose her!

Frantic Fred

Forget it Fred. New love will never forgive and forget.
I understand HOW it happened but still, women do not
put up with that crap. I am sure the old love will be
more forgiving and just dismiss it as a passing phase;
a fling, but new love will never trust you again. Either
leave old love and make your heart truly free for another
love that may cross your path, or try and patch things up
with old love and either shit or get off the pot. You
aren't doing anyone any favors by keeping them on a string.

I'm a 29-year-old woman, frustrated and disgusted because after
I go on a few dates with a man, he expects unprotected oral sex
from me, and I am only comfortable doing this with a monogamous,
tested partner as I know HIV and other STDs can be transmitted
from oral. When he pressures me and I say: "I love doing that, but
I wait until I'm in a relationship" I never hear from him after wards.
Nobody I know realistically uses condoms for oral sex, so I hold off
until testing/monogamy. My question is: Is there a way to communicate
this request to a new partner in a way that doesn't turn him off?
I'm starting to despise men and don't want to, but I wonder if I have
to compromise my health and peace of
mind to get a boyfriend. Thank you for your help.

Angry Alicia

Although you can get STD's from giving oral sex, the chances
of getting HIV from oral sex are slim (unless you have a huge
open wound in our mouth and/or he has one on his cock and
blood and personal fluids get the chance to co-mingle).
A man who expects unprotected oral sex after a few dates
is probably not the type of man you are looking to be in
a relationship with anyways, so they are doing you a favor
by showing you their sloppy, impatient side. Rather than me
giving you good lines to use like "I'd love to, but I have
no clue where that thing has been", I will just suggest
using your head when it comes to dating.

Take things slower
and oral sex shouldn't even come up for a couple months if he
has a serious relationship with you in mind. So in reality,
it's no work at all, just see what he does and listen to what
he says. If he respects you and treats you like a lady, when
time goes by, you will both know each other well enough to
go get tested together. As I said before, if they are in
such a hurry just to get their cock sucked, they can just
keep walking until they find a loose woman/man/machine who
will be willing to take it all, bareback. Never forget, the best
things in life are worth waiting for (wine, oral, cheese).

Seeing as how I love older women (I just can't relate to the
younger ones. I quickly get bored conversing with them)
every time I try to make a move on an older lady I get the
same old line (I’m too old for you) even if she's like 24 (I’m 21 now)
what would you suggest to make the older ladies I don't know yet,
take me more seriously?
I can't stand hitting on younger girls. Either I feel guilty or just
plain stupid. Ever since I saw Marisa Tomei in ‘The Wrestler’ I've
been on the jones for older bones, so to speak. Well, if you can't help me,
no one can.

Randy Rory

First you have to put yourself in the Cougar's environment.
Avoid hanging out where really young girls gather (lame
dance clubs, house parties, or where ever else it is that
you keep meeting girls your age. Cocktail bars, bars in
general, take a cooking class, post an ad on craigslist
and be specific about liking older women and sign up on
this web site: http://www.cougared.com if you find it hard
to meet an older babe in public. You could also look for
jobs as a handy man, as many older single women need help
around their house, and who knows, maybe in their bedroom
as well. Try not to talk about age. If a girl asks you
your age, say "Sweetheart, I'm old enough to drink, join the army
and procreate", “Old enough to appreciate you”, "How old do you
think I am?" or my favorite "Old enough to hate that question".
Don't even get into a conversation about why you prefer older women,
just go for the older women and avoid talking about age all together.
Just make it clear you enjoy being with HER and leave it at that.

Like you, I am a massage therapist. One of my clients
comes in once a month for a 90-minute rub down and he is absolutely
gorgeous. He has been coming to me for over a year now and we talk a
lot during the massage (he starts it, not me) but it would be very
unprofessional of me to flirt with him and even if he did like me, he would
probably be afraid to ask in such an environment. Our chats do get personal
and he complains about a girl he has been dating. He is fed up with her and
I want to be next in line. How would I go about wording that, or finding out
if he is interested in me or just being friendly? Waiting around for a man
to ask me out in the city may take forever. I am good looking by the way but very choosy
about whom I date. "won't you please, please help me?"

Maggie Mae

A great way to find out if a man thinks of you as just a friend or has love/sex
on his mind is to ask him if he has
any single male friends he can introduce you to. Make sure you do it in person,
not over the phone, and then you can watch his facial expressions. He will
instantly have a 'fucking miserable' look on his face if he secretly wants you
for himself. He may snap back fast and say "um, well, let me think about it" or
just come out and say "why would I want to give you away to anyone else when I
want you". Either way, you will find out fast.

I am sexually aroused by the smell of woman's farts, and yes I am serious. I
know I am not the only one because their are websites and porn’s made just for that.
But, I was wondering if you ever knew of anybody else who liked farts sexually?
and what are your thoughts on it?

Fart-Fan Frank

*Note: This is exactly the sort of question that makes people ask, "do you make
up some of those questions?” It is flattering that one thinks I have such a
vivid imagination and so much free time but I don't. They are real.
I am sure many women would feel comfortable around you knowing they never have
to hold back (well, except when they aren't in the mood for sex- then they may
just have to hold it in). Smell is really important for mating mammals and
if you don't like a partners smell, you know, breath, sweat, farts, overall scent,
then they are NOT the one for you but this is a rare fetish probably stemming back to
your childhood when your baby sitter would fart around you or something. Yes, I have
seen the Fart Fetish Forum but no one seems to come up with a good explanation
as to WHY they like the farts- just talk about farting, no answers. I am
sorry I am finally at a loss for words; all I can do is cut one at this point in your
honor.

I have a question is it possible for me to be affected by the spring weather like a teenage boy in heat?
Ever since this nice weather has set in I cant get a few ex-lovers off my mind I dream of the and many women I haven't met. Women on the street and in stores have caught my eye I feel as if I've hit puberty once again and I don’t remember it being this bad. I am in my second marriage and she is queen and I feel like I am disrespecting her with all this. I don’t know how to deal with this any advice for a horny schoolboy.

Horny Harold

What about that song from John Lee-Hooker “every girl I see, is lookin’ good to me”?
Don't be so hard on yourself. It is totally normal and natural. Not only are we all in a better mood when it is sunny out, but the physical side to all of this is that sunlight is absorbed through your eye's retina.
Sunlight slows down the production of melatonin in our body, which produces hormones that suppress your sex drive. (Melatonin helps us sleep but kills our sex drive). You produce more melatonin in winter and less in summer when there are longer days and hence, more sun.

This is why everyone feels hornier in sunny weather (and is why states/countries that have loads of sun are more promiscuous than in colder areas).

SO, even though you are happily married, it is not against the law to think sexy thoughts about other people and let the sun make you horny. That's the great thing about our minds, no one can tell us what to think or when to think it. Controlling your actions is a different story though. Nothing wrong with letting your imagination go wild while making love to your spouse now is there?

February 10, 2010

Ask Dr. Dot Feb. 2010

Feel free to email me your questions. Don't be shy, I ALWAYS change senders name to keep their dirty little secrets private:

drdot@drdot.com

I’m four months pregnant, happy and healthy. Thing is, I have trouble getting & staying wet
before and during sex. I’ve tried lubes and they help but they’re so greasy and it turns my
boyfriend off when I apply lube. He thinks he does not arouse me because I’m not getting
wet like I used to. I am turned on but maybe pregnancy makes me dry. He always gives me
oral before we have sex to get me wet but I always get dry before we finish. It’s frustrating me.
Please let me know of any products that aren’t greasy, yet safe or if you know of any techniques to help us.
Knocked up & Frisky

Perhaps your subconscious is drying out your snatch; a little voice in the back of your head
suggesting that having sex while pregnant is bad. Find that little voice and gag it. A lot of
women get extra horny while pregnant; the combo of having bigger breasts, extra hormones and
not having to worry about getting pregnant usually sets them on fire. If you are having problems
already at 4 months, it may get worse so you need to make it clear, verbally, to your BF that he does turn you on and you need his cock or you'll go crazy. Get some “K-Y natural feeling liquid personal lubricant" and after he do his best orally, and you start to dry up, have him playfully drizzle some lube on your pussy; make it fun, tell him "pour some lube on my thirsty twat babe". Rather than trying to ignore the situation, bring it right out into the open and make it fun. Give him plenty of head to keep him happy and everything should be fine.

Q.

I am 23 years old and have been dating an 18-year-old girl for a few months. I popped her
cherry the first month we were together and since then she has gone from clingy, to
psycho. I used to call her and court her, but now she doesn't give me the chance. She
is all over me like a rash to the point where I want out. When I try to pull away, she throws
a massive fit and threatens to kill herself. She cries, pulls her hair out and even cuts herself.
If I leave and she does kill herself, I will have to live with that guilt forever. If I stay, I am
suffocated in every way. She makes me feel obligated to stay with her forever because I
took her virginity.
Poppa Cherry

This emotional blackmail has got to stop. Find
a way to contact her parents/best friend/relative that she admires
and listens to most and arrange a private meeting. Explain the situation
and tell them she needs help and you need an exit. Write her a letter and
tell her you care about her but want to be single to concentrate on your life,
as most 23 year olds (and 18 year olds!) do. If you feel that isn't strong enough,
tell her you have doubts about your sexuality and have met a guy that you have
feelings for. Telling her you are gay is an easy way out. You can't argue with
that. Then stop all contact with her as any form of communication with just lead her
on and prolong the agony for both of you. Lesson learned, popping cherries is fun,
but seldom worth the drama that usually comes with it.

I meet (and bed) women easily but I've been having trouble getting
off with them lately. I concentrate so hard on pleasing them that I end up having
to finish myself off. Now, I don't mind it if I'm getting the woman off but they seem to get frustrated that they can't bring me to cum, and eventually leave me. Help.

Rage against her Machine

Nice to hear you are putting out such efforts to please women. Try to avoid wanking
24 hours before you jump in bed with a lady. A nice goal would be to get to know one girl so
well that you know how and when she will end up cuming, then try to climax together.
Or make her cum, and then have her suck on you (or your favorite means) until you shoot your load.
If they just came, I don't see why they give a fuck how or when you get yours.
Tell her it turns you on to wank off onto her breasts or at worst, tell her you spent so much
energy making her cum you are too tired to cross the finish line. In the end, you will know it's the
right girl when (1) you can still cum with her or after her (2) she doesn't fucking mind what you do, as long as she is with you.

I’m in a relationship, all is good. BUT, my girlfriend has been out of town for about 2 months and my ex girlfriend, who I chat with online periodically asked me over for tea. Well, I had a good meal and ended up getting rid of a nagging 2-month dry spell. I really don’t have feelings for her in a relationship kind of sense, I was just sexually frustrated and my ex was in for the kill from the get go. I guess I just let the wrong “head,” think for me. In the morning we had another round. I’ve never cheated before and don’t intend on doing it again as I feel like a complete cunt. I doubt she would understand but oh the guilt. Should I tell her?

Randy Ralf

Do NOT confess your infidelity to your girlfriend. It may free you of guilty feelings but it will
crush her and ruin the relationship. Everyone makes mistakes. Hopefully it
was a safe-sex kind of mistake but if not, go have yourself checked out and use condoms
for a while with your girlfriend so you don't harm her (tell her you have an urinary tract infection).
Every one gets "super horny" and you aren't married, so you won't burn in hell, you will just have a guilty complex for a while which could in turn, make you more grateful for your girlfriends love which may even enhance your relationship. Twisted, I know, but you are not the first person to have a fling and you won't be the last. Just keep it to yourself no matter what as what one doesn't know, won't hurt them (at least mentally/emotionally).

January 26, 2010

Home is where the heart is

January 15, 2010

I LOVE LIVERPOOL

Been all around the UK and my favorite place hands down is Liverpool. This is the 3rd time I visited Liverpool and as they say, third time's a charm. MUCH friendlier than Manchester and London. LOVES IT!!!!!

Here are some pics I have taken so far. I will complete the blog when I have time (made MANY videos too, so I have to edit them etc still)

Me at Albert Docks, enjoying the sun

View from my hotel room (fucking FREEZING here)

I feel like I belong here. I feel at 'home' here. I wish I could live here in Liverpool. Seriously.

Beatles EVERYWHERE, loves it!

The Mona Lennon. Cost 150 pounds and it would never fit in my luggage, so I pic will have to do. I spent LOADS in the Beatles shops.

Out with local friends at karaoke

My good friend Jamie on the left, me and his twin brother Eddy out to karaoke at the famous Grapes Pub where the Beatles used to hang out back in the Cavern days (there was no backstage at the Cavern and so the bands hung out at the Grapes until it was their turn to play). Mathew Street.

Jamie drunk as FUCK singing "I drove all night". It was so BAD that it was good. haha

The Blonde (Michelle) is Jamie's girlfriend and the Brunette (Leah) is Eddy's girl. They were singing Dolly Parton's 9 to 5. Went over well, but my ears are craving rock and ROLL

Another mate named Jamie's Led Zepp tattoo. Mad cool innit?

I have had more fun in Liverpool in a few days than I have had in a year in Berlin. The people are SO FRIENDLY and the place is clean. Not expensive either and there is no thug/violent atmosphere going on as rumor has it. I hear so often from Mancunians how horrible Liverpool is and you know what? It's not true. I didn't like Manchester at all. I felt scared there, saw MANY fights, it was dirty as fuck and super expensive. I am a Liverpool fan, in every sense of the word.

As I said, I will add onto this later. I will list the best places to sing for the karaoke freaks, but to be honest, you can't swing a cat without finding a pub that has karaoke on. It seems EVERY place has it, aaaah, I am in love with this place.

Liverpool part 1, video I made…

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Jan 20, 2010…

Just returned from the Fab Four Beatles Taxi Tour (cost 50 pounds per taxi and you can bring up to 5 people in it but I went with one friend)

It's really cool, they come and get you where ever you are in Liverpool and then they bring you to all the Beatles sights. I made lots of videos, but it will take a while before I can edit the film, as I STILL can't do it on my MAC, so I have to wait to get back to Berlin to do it on my PC. UGH.

Still NOT bored with Liverpool. It does exhaust me being a tourist, as I am used to having down time but I love it here. Everyone is SO friendly and ready for a laugh. I heard many times, mostly from Londoners and Mancs, that the "Scousers are thieving cunts" but so far NO ONE has even looked at me funny, so I think that is just an ugly rumor. I like it here and no one can change my mind. NATURALLY I have found things I don't like but these are things that happen all over the UK (everything shuts early, no one wears a fucking coat outside even thought it is FREEZING!!) and people drink WAY too much. Oh, and it is hard to find a healthy restaurant. BUT other than that, I love it and would move here tomorrow if I could.

The Case history of Liverpool, check it out here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/liverpool/culture/2002/07/art_tour/suitcases.shtml

My hilarious friend Jamie ^ and I at Strawberry Fields. He is a native Liverpudlian but has never been on a Beatles tour until now

"Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes"

My pal Jamie, a native of Liverpool and I did the Beatles tour together. It was bloody FREEZING, but fun. This is the 2nd time I did the tour (last time was 1988 with an older lady named Hilary who still does the tour in a mini bus)

Roundabout at Penny Lane…

"Behind the shelter in the middle of a roundabout
A pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray
And though she feels as if she's in a play
She is anyway"

"In Penny Lane there is a barber showing photographs
Of every head he's had the pleasure to know
And all the people that come and go
Stop and say hello"

Wolton Graveyard, where Eleanor Rigby is burried+ Beatles old hang out ^

"Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice
In the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream

Waits at the window, wearing the face
That she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?"

George Harrisons childhood home, Arnold Grove ^

John Lennon's childhood house on Menlove Ave, Liverpool ^

Birth place of John Lennon: Oxford Hospital, Liverpool ^

Liverpool Registry Office ^ (John Lennon married Cynthia there and John's parents wed there too)

Paul McCartney's childhood home ^ (the 7th home the family lived in). They stayed here the longest.

Where the Beatles used to rehearse/play

Smelt like they haven't aired it out since 1960 and all

Check out my Beatles Tour video:

John Lennon statue on Mathew street and I

Got coaxed into coming into a 70's themed disco called Flares ^ I did dance my ass off when they started playing Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5 too. LOVED IT. Kinda caught a cold after leaving disco as I was rather sweaty from dancing and it froze right onto my body when I left the club. DOH!

I'm not kidding, girls/ladies/women dress in costume on normal nights, in normal bars. It is NOT Halloween or some sort of Costume party, they just dress up like this for the hell of it. I have been to a few clubs and many pubs (for karaoke) since I have been in Liverpool and I can't believe how people dress up. Guys/boys/men dressed up as a robot or super man, just out dancing like that or in this case above, just out to the pub.

MANY females in Liverpool over do it with tanning beds. They look orange. And they really really dress to impress. High heels EVERYWHERE, all the time. I love it that smoking is NOT allowed inside and unlike the stubborn Germans, they really obey and smoke outside! It's great.

I went to Smokey Mos ^ , they have karaoke on Saturday night, sound is GREAT, huge song list, short waiting time. It's kind rough looking but everyone is really friendly.

My favorite place to sing in Liverpool so far is The Crocodile. They have karaoke almost every night. Great sound, BIG song list but rather long wait.

Did not see ONE bicycle in Liverpool. I heard there never is any either. No rollerbladers either, even in summer (that would change if I moved here innit 🙂

I met SO many special people here, some old friends, some new. I love this place and would love to move here.

Last video…..

The main reason I went to Liverpool was to massages long time, loyal clients, Nickelback. They were in town Jan 16th for production day and the show was Jan 17th at the Echo Arena.

Mike, Nickelback bassist, LOVES the Dr. Dot team's massages. And we love him 🙂

Opening act Daughtry's bassist was super cool. I massaged the singer "Daughtry" himself as well, but he doesn't pose for pictures. Sorry.

January 2, 2010

Ask Dr. Dot Jan. 2010

Q.

I have been going out with this 28yr old designer/film maker for 10 months. I am 31.
Generally, he is good. Met his family, his friends,etc. Pretty consistent guy.

He cares for me, but whenever we hang out lately, he is always coming from somewhere,
like he'll be at a friends or meeting with a buddy at a bar. I told him my time is valuable and
I don't want to be the dumbass waiting for him. He doesn't really get it, but I just been writing
it off like he is social and 'you take the good with the bad'.
Last night, he did that again- I was waiting at his Manhattan apt. WHILE I was there, I found a list of yoga questions (I am a yoga instructor) for a film idea. Like 'how much do they make' is there sex involved ever' , 401k? what percentage are wanna be actors? how long is the career of a yoga instructor.. A whole long typed up list by him. .. very bazaar.
So I called him and asked him. He stuttered, and said 'oh where did you find that.. ?'
yo, that shit is weird.

You had to see the questions. it makes me feel he is either mocking me
or using me for a film idea! I feel so duped. It was clearly something behind my back; he played it off like it was something he is working on that he is going to talk to me about. In my heart, I don't believe him.

THEN, I asked where are you – WITH A BUDDY AT a bar!!!! He knows I hate that. Needless to say, we shouted, he got defensive, I got upset. He got very explosive about me finding the questions and then questioning his whereabouts. I went home. He called 4 times that night; I didn't pick up.

I never want to talk to him again. Besides being out with his buddy while I am waiting for him,
what are those questions about?? (He is a wanna -be producer).

What do you think?

Sulky Susan

If he is "good" and "consistent" and you've met his friends and family AND he trusts you
in his flat while he isn't home, it means he is into you and not such a bad guy. It seems
to me you are a bit jaded about men and are looking for mistakes; a reason to bolt.
The Yoga list could have been something he was going to ask you about, for his script,
but you act like it was a list of hookers he owes money to. Not trying to take sides, but
he is ONLY 28, which is young; young enough to still want to hang with buddies in a
bar. You are also in a big city; you can't expect men in big cities to put blinders on and
put all of their focus onto you. The fact you had to call him and ask where he is means
there is something wrong. You should agree upon a time and meet some where mutual,
not at his home, waiting like a dog, or worse, his MOM. You're never going to find a perfect man;

but if you want one that will be more attentive, you may have to date an
older man who has been through the wringer a few times and prefers nights at home
to nights in the pub with his mates. But again, no man is perfect. If the only thing this guy
was doing wrong was keeping you waiting (in my eyes that is your fault; make a time and
meet somewhere besides your flats to keep the passion of dating alive) and meeting with
friends (at least he's not meeting with bitches) and his mysterious list (you should NEVER
snoop- a man either loves you madly or he doesn't) then I say pick up the phone when he
calls and don't even mention the bitchfest; just pretend it never happened and from now
on he has to meet you at a restaurant or a cocktail bar to woo you, instead of just wooing his
mates. When you rang him to nag and ask where is he, you could have said "I am busy shaving
my pussy and was just wondering should I shave it all off or leave a landing strip?" and he
would have RAN home. Games; men live for them.

Q.
I have been with my fiance for about 3 years but always on and off.
We just got back together on the 2nd of December and the first time
I even got to see him was on the 27th of December.He lives with his
mom he just turned 18 and has no job which he always says he is
looking for one which i know is a lie. I found messages on one of his
online sites he goes to and he keeps calling all these other girls hot
and sexy and told his ex when me and him were fighting that he
was sorry he left her and he wanted to make it up to her but of course
he was a total a-hole when he left her and she didn't respond but
instead sent me a email telling me about so i asked him and he said
no i didnt someone has my password and is "hacking" into my account
and sending messages to other people. Well obviously he was lying i
know but i still believed him cause i love him. When i try to get him
to come here he says he will leave a note for his mom to wake him up
but he is always high when he says that and i barely get to talk to
him anymore because he is either out partying with his friends or
down at his friends house getting high all the time and i dont know
what to do i love him but i cant stand him always being high or
drunk and he lies to me all the time so please tell me what to do…

Livid Lisa

A.
The biggest lies here are the ones you keep telling yourself. You lie
to yourself "he loves me, he is just high/sleeping/busy" when you
know dam well he is a lying loser. First of all he is ONLY 18!!! People
never know what the hell they want at that age!! Engaged? PLEASE!
Give me a break. You are both too young ( I assume you are around
his age) for such a commitment. Potheads are procrastinators; they
never get anything done and guess what? He will probably STILL live
with his Mom in ten years. You are wasting your time with him; he
is obviously a player; which is normal at his age. Let him enjoy his
youth, other girls, grass etc, but you should too. Enjoy your youth
as you will only have it ONCE. Do not put up with guys who treat
you badly in any way. Once you decide to demand respect, boys like
him will clearly be losers in your eyes and that will make things easier.
Just stop contacting him, cut all ties and move ON!!!!!

After 10 years of drooling at my mother in laws sexy feet and wanting to play with them I finally
got to rub her feet the other night. My wife was asleep and me and MIL were downstairs watching TV.
I had a few beers through the day so my courage was up.
She way lying on our couch and slipped her shoes off and I sat there looking at her
sexy pedicure. After a few minutes I could not stand it any longer. I sat next to her feet and started rubbing them.
I played with her toes, rubbed her soles, I covered every centimeter of her luscious feet.
She never resisted and let me do what I wanted. I got horny and was erect. She never said a word, but I could tell
she was enjoying it and maybe to the point it turned her on –I’m not sure.
I wanted to kiss her feet and suck her toes but I did not go that far. Would it be a mistake to take this any further?
I want to have sex with her and I am not sure if she would. But, I want you're opinion if you think its a
possibility she got horny from me playing with her feet?

Gilf Feet Fan

I am sure it excited her. Foot massage, when done correctly, are a huge turn on.
If you really love your wife and want to keep her, just stick to massaging your Mother in Laws feet once in a while, which could already be disturbing enough to your wife (you may want to ask your wife permission to massage her mom's feet, but make SURE you massage your wife's feet too- just tell her you LOVE to massage feet).
If you don't give a toss about your wife and feel her Mother is the woman of your dreams and are sure the feeling is mutual, then go for it, but know if you leave your wife for her Mom, you will be destroying two relationships, rather than the standard one, when a spouse leaves a marriage for another. You could always just keep the fantasy in your head and use it to enhance sex with your wife. Many people in relationships have fantasies, but we can't always have what/whom we want. Is a sexual thrill enough to make you throw it all away?
That is the question you have to ask yourself, as only you can answer it.

Because I was previously in a long-term relationship, I decided to get an IUD for birth control because I'm unable to take the pill (gives me migraines). Now I'm single again, and concerned about having sex if I start dating someone. Obviously I'd want to use a condom, but since the IUD has strings that aren't exactly soft, I'm worried they could tear the condom and make it useless in terms of having safe sex.
I heard you should only have it if you're in a monogamous relationship, so do you think I should have it removed? (I'm not currently sexually active, and haven't thus far had more than one sexual partner at a time).

Contraceptive Connie

I would have it removed. Not only could it increase the chances of you getting lazy
with a new partner "ah go ahead, I can't get pregnant, I have an IUD" after a few
glasses of wine, but they increase chances of infection, make new partners wonder
(1) What the fuck is that fishing wire doing in her twat-it hurts my cock (that is if you
are lucky enough to find one who has a willy that long) (2) Is she really that sexually
active that she always has an IUD inserted?.
I am certain the string wouldn’t puncture a condom but it's always best to stay on the safe side.
Not a fan of the IUD anyways as it alters the fluids in the Uterus and fallopian tubes, which reduces the chances for fertilization. The "Nuva ring" is better, but again, you need to use condoms unless you are in a monogamous, tested and tried, relationship. If you find yourself
in one, and feel safe to toss the condoms, try the Nuva Ring instead, the IUD is nothing
but drama.

I’m in a relationship, all is good. BUT, my gf has been out of town for about 2 months and my ex gf, who I chat with online periodically asked me over for dinner. Well, I had a good dinner and ended up getting rid of a nagging 2-month dry spell. I really don’t have feelings for her in a relationship kind of sense, I was just sexually frustrated and my ex was in for the kill from the get go. I guess I just let the wrong “head,” think for me. In the morning we had another round. I’ve never cheated before and don’t intend on doing it again as I feel like a complete cunt. I doubt she would understand but oh the guilt. Should I tell her?

Randy Ralf

Do NOT confess your infidelity to your girlfriend. It may free you of guilty feelings but it will
crush her and ruin the relationship. Everyone makes mistakes. Hopefully it
was a safe sex kind of mistake but if not, go have yourself checked out and use condoms
from now on with your girlfriend so you don't harm her (tell her you have an urinary tract infection).
Every one gets "super horny" and you aren't married, so you won't burn in hell, you will just have a
guilty complex for a while which could in turn, make you more grateful for your girlfriends love which
may even enhance your relationship. Twisted, I know, but you are not the first person to have a fling and you
won't be the last. Just keep it to yourself no matter what as what one doesn't know, won't
hurt them (at least mentally/emotionally).

Do you think there's a direct correlation between mental illness and abnormal
penis size? The formula seems to go as follows: guy with big dick = guy with more issues
than a yearly subscription to Sports Illustrated.
Okay, it's just a hypothesis, but the extra girth seems to be accompanied by a
headful of bad wiring and a serious need for some sort of medication — be it
the legal variety or otherwise.
We're not talking about your garden variety chronic asshole syndrome — but
walking train-wrecks who can't maintain relationships (of any sort) to save
their lives. An asshole can always find other assholes to commiserate with
(other wise how else would they get cops to ride around in squad cars together
for eight hours) but these other guys are pretty much all alone in the world.
Which is not to say they're deserving of our sympathy (they're not.) But I
digress…
Curious George

You are correct George but how do you know so much about Cock size anyways?
Sadly, somewhere a long the line, a lover told the man with
girth, how wonderful he is, how perfect he and his monster cock are,
that he can do no wrong and POOF, an egomaniac is born. Not completely different
to a beautiful girl with gigantic naturally big tits. These folks are blessed
with extra large "licenses to kill" so to speak. Why fuck just one when EVERYONE
wants a ride on your big fat cock? This is how they think. They watch porn and
think, "hey, that's me! I am special, I'm built like a brick shit house and I
deserve to have an attitude".
They usually end up with a complex, knowing that they are treated extra special
because of their ridiculously large dick. It's a vicious cycle. They love their
big dick, but know deep inside they wouldn't get away with half the shit they
dish out if they had a small one. They mentally torture their lover as they
silently think "she/he only loves me for my big fat tool". They end up making
people beg to fuck them instead of giving it away like most normal horny males.
Big cocks are WONDERFUL, but they are usually attached to an overly insecure or
overly confident DICK. There’s even a web site http://www.lpsg.org/ that offers support
for men with large penises, sigh.

November 29, 2009

Ask Dr. Dot November 2009

Please feel free to send me your questions anytime. I always change the names around, so no one except me, will know your dirty little secrets. Email them to me at: drdot@drdot.com

I meet (and shag) women easily but I've been having trouble getting
off with them lately….sometimes I do, but more often than not I concentrate so hard on
pleasing them that I end up having to finish myself off. Now, I don't mind it if I'm getting the
woman off but they seem to get frustrated that they can't bring me to cum, and eventually leave me.
What do I do?

Rage against their Machines

Nice to hear you are putting out such efforts to please women. Try to avoid wanking
24 hours before you jump in bed with a lady. A nice goal would be to get to know one girl so
well that you know how and when she will end up cuming, then try to climax together.
Or make her cum, then have her suck on you (or your favorite means) until you shoot your load.
If they just came, I don't see why they give a fuck how or when you get yours.
Tell her it turns you on to wank off onto her breasts or at worst, tell her you spent so much
energy making her cum you are too tired to cross the finish
line. In the end, you will know it's the right girl when (1) you can still cum with her or after her (2) she doesn't fucking mind what you do, as long as she is with you .

I am currently seeing this 28year old – I'm 31. It's been 9 months. I know all his friends, his parents,
and he wants to see me, calls, etc..
We have had a few dramas – what beauties – but in the end we worked thru it and we keep moving forward.
We are both fireballs and a little stubborn – him more than me, but he is patient and forgiving. We are both 'catches'.
The problem: he is not verbal at all – but when I mention it, he does try to correct it. There is very little talk of future.
I asked him over dinner if he saw me in his future and he said “yes”, and that he “doesn't waste time”.
Is the non-verbal thing ok, if he is showing in other ways? Should I stay in this and keep flowing or change it by breaking up? Part of me thinks maybe he'll never be ready.

Ms. Stay or go

You asked a question I would personally never, ever ask a man: "do you see us sharing a future?". That is a waste of breath
and shows them you are insecure and aiming at putting pressure on them. He said "yes, I don't waste time". This should have
made you feel really confident, but you are still questioning the relationship. You seem to be looking for a way out, in my opinion. Love doesn't come with insurance and all we have is today. You can not ensure a future with anyone.
You can get hit by a car; he could die of cancer. Just chill and enjoy the present with
this man who seems to really love you (you met his parents, friends, he verbalized seeing you in his future).
So what he isn't verbal? If you want verbal, date a woman.

I need another Dr. Dot pep talk.
Got rid of that first asswipe this past fall…while on the rebound found
another guy.
He suffers from depression, obsessive compulsive and ADD….One day he's hot,
the next cold.
One day he's in love with me, the next he totally abandons me. It's like a game
for him. He loves it when I come crying back. He's sent me into such a state of depression with all of his problems that I started antideperssants for the first time in my life.
I've done so much for this person….helped him and his kids out in so many
ways. I just can't go on with his split personalities (I truly think that's what
it is). It's wearing me out completely. He's starting to make me feel nuts. On a
side note….he can essentially be classifed in the 'white trash' catagory which
is something that I normally wouldn't fall for…however, I was hurting/rebound.
I'm having a hard time letting go…for no reason, yesterday, for the 10th time
in the past 3 months he dumped me again.

Scorned Suzy

I too took anti depressants ONE time because
of a moody ex. I luckily got so ill off them that first time, I had to go to the emergency room
and get an iV.
He probably knows you are too good for him and rejects you over and over again.
This is a test for your soul: how much shit are you going to take? How much low will you go?
You need to pass the test and show fate that you love yourself enough to walk away from people
who treat you badly. If YOU don't love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to? Make
borders from now on;
limits to what you will and won't put up with and stand by them no matter what.
Do not call this wacky cunt back and ignore any attempts he makes to reach you
and you will pass the test and your confidence will start to soar, bit by bit. We ALLOW
people to treat us bad, so you can't blame them if you allow it.

I know this might sound selfish but please help me out, I have going out with this guy
and he decided to go back to his mother’s child, the problem I can not get him out of
my mind is blowing me off so badly I can even concentrate, I can’t just cope I even go
to the extent of driving pass near their house incase he I see him. I tried to get him off
my mind but it comes back so heavily on me that I cry uncontrollably. I thought time
was the best healer but it does work for me I’m just madly in love

Crazy in Luv

It's not "selfish" it's foolish. "Madly in love", key word being MAD, as in crazy.
Love can make us crazy. Think with your head for a minute and you will see it's insane
to pine after someone who doesn't want you anymore.
It's over, he made his choice, you need to really just move on.
No one likes to be left; to lose, but it happens sometimes.
You can not make him come back; what will be, will be. Start taking good care of yourself; working out, eating healthy
and sleeping properly and keep as busy as you can so you can dump that needy feeling
the will surely turn off any new guys. Listen to as much Frank Zappa music as you
can get your hands on; he makes fun of love and heart break and what you really
need now, is a good laugh.

I just met someone 1 week in a half ago and he's really cool. The thing is that he said
he was single but admitted he had been seeing a girl like dating for over a year but
it wasn't exclusive. I don't believe him cause I know men will say anything to get with
a girl but I also give him the benefit of the doubt. He started text messaging me the
same day we met and then a few days later started to call me to chat and stuff but it
has been a week and change and he hasn't even asked me out. The weekend came
and he said nothing.

I have been unavailable when he asked to see me the other day just to say to say "hi",
of course cause i don't want be too available for him, and also because he asked to
see me for one minute to give me a kiss and a hug and I feel that I can get a kiss and
a hug from my grandma or Mom or dad and quite frankly don't feel that he has even
earned that much. If I accustom him to just do that he'll think I would settle for just that.
Hell probably think IM worth just a drive or a hello in front of my house!!lol. Anyway
I know its only been a week and a few days but he should be trying to get to know
me impress me wine and dine me if he's interested… Atleast go out for drinks.
He's always complimenting me and when he asked to see me the me other day
i brushed him off and a few min after we hung up he text messaged me telling me
he was outside and if it was possible to see me just for one min.. he appeared in
front of my house before i even answered anything lol… i haven't kissed him or
anything and i really like him but i don't know if he likes me that much or if its just that
he does have a relationship with that girl… I just don't know if I should continue
getting to know him or just drop this…?????

Shaky Sandra

"a few min after we hung up he text messaged me telling me
he was outside and if it was possible to see me just for one min.. he appeared in
front of my house " ????

uh, can you stay "stalker"? He sounds like a pushy, creepy, lying
player to me, ew.

October 14, 2009

Ask Dr. Dot October 2009

Please feel free to email me your questions. I answer every email personally. Don't worry, I always change the names around, so no one will know your questions or secrets. Dr. Dot drdot@drdot.com

I'm married for 5 years; we've been together for about 15. Two kids, happy. The thing is that I don't like sex.

I could literally go for the rest of my life without it and be fine with that. For a while I thought it was just him that I wasn't
attracted to, but even in between our dating, I was like that with EVERY guy.
I'm not a lesbian; women don’t turn me on that way. I get turned on by men,
but don't like sex. Goes back to Endometriosis and pain I had a hysterectomy at 28,
but still don’t like sex. I love and adore my husband. He's sexy but due to my lack of sex drive, our sex life is slacking.

I haven't yet said anything to him, but I feel bad about it and wouldn't be completely objected to him
sleeping with someone else just to get that part of him satisfied. In that past I would
have NEVER dreamed of oral sex, but over the past year or two, I've been doing it occasionally
just to get out of having sex. Sure, I have to stop every few seconds to stop myself
from gagging or throwing up. But I still do it. Also, I still refuse to receive it.
This CAN'T be normal?"
Honest Housewife

I know a few women like this. I am not saying it’s normal, but it's not rare either.
Remember Bill and Hilary? You have two kids already and are not opposed to him getting his jollies elsewhere, so you know what you like and what you don't like.
However, if he does have sex with others, there may be a chance he’ll love the sex, gets used to it again, and may end up changing waterfalls, so to speak. MANY women fuck/suck their men just to shut them up (which is sad ) so you’re not alone. Perhaps I am a freak but I think knowing you HAVE to do it, is a turn off, hence marriage can be a catch 22 situation. You marry for love, but the pressure of routine kills the passion. It's best to be honest with yourself and your partner and put all of your cards on the table and see what he says.
It may even make you wet; being completely honest, to the point where you
just don't give a fuck about the consequences, can be so enlightening, that it's a turn
on. Who knows, it may just flip your switch back on.

Q.
My penis is 1 inch when floppy; 2 when hard. I’m only 14 and I have heard it
will grow when you get older but it has been this way since my balls have dropped.
I was about to get a blow job; when I pulled my pants down, she laughed and told
the whole school. I really want it to grow to at least average size so that I
won't have to be afraid to show it off when I am asked to. Help.
The Angry Inch

A.
You have to accept that you’ll never have a monster cock, but you can make it a tad
bigger by using it as much as you can, be it by wanking or screwing. Like I’ve
said in the past, it’s similar to any other muscle; the more you exercise
it, the stronger (and bigger) it will grow. You should learn to be an expert
at giving foot massages and licking pussy, that will be your secret weapon. Making
the ladies laugh will also help them over look any "short" comings you have. Asian
girls have the tightest pussies (um, I’ve been told) so maybe gravitate towards them,
they may even think of your tiny tool as hard to handle. Ps. Does your mom know you read my column?

Q.
I have been married for 13 years. In the beginning, as with most couples,
sex was frequent and fulfilling. Frequency diminished over the years, yet it
was always fulfilling. 3 years ago, during sex, my husband had a heart attack.
An ambulance rushed him to the hospital. That was the last time we had sex.
I have tried to be understanding and thankful he is still alive, yet I need
to have sex. He claims that all sexual desire is now gone. I do realize he is frightened
about what happened, but how can someone totally lose ALL desire? He definitely
doesn’t have a girlfriend, nor masturbate.
I suggested that we just fool around and not have sex. I have made
offers to have a girlfriend join us, one of his biggest fantasies. I have even
masturbated when we go to bed, trying to "guilt" him into touching me.
To no avail. My sex drive is like that of a 17 year old boy. I masturbate, at least,
twice a day. I’m dying here. How can I help him regain sexual desire?

Camarillo Brillo

A.
Dr. Phil and Ophra would probably tell you do drag him to an expensive marriage
counselor that would take ages and may or may not work but would certainly take
a private, sensitive subject and make it even more sensitive & turn a passionate,
spontaneous ritual into an annoying chore for him. How about going away for the
weekend, camping or staying at a hotel and just go down on him in the shower.
I think your bedroom and that bed will always remind him of almost dying in your
pussy. You need to change the surroundings before even attempting to shag him again.
If none of that works, come right out and tell him you need sex and he should
either fuck you or give you permission to fuck someone else (he can watch?) or
you may end up cheating without his knowledge or leaving him all together. A hungry
pussy should never go to waste.
Ps. maybe you and the “Honest Housewife” should
trade spouses every weekend.

I have been here in NYC for 4 years and am like many others, not from here originally.
However, at 36, I am older than the average new immigrant. I am also black,
well-educated and traveled, have good social skills and am employed. (Read, "not of the young and tragically hip")

In the last 3 years, I have had plenty of sex, and a couple of long-term lovers with whom I have enjoyed more than time in bed.
But, once I decided I wanted to look for more, my search has yielded nothing. I haven't yet met anyone with whom I am mutually
attracted and who also has an interest in a long-term relationship. I am not too picky: cute, smart, funny, mature, and sexually confident
can't be too much to ask for someone in my age group, right?

I do the dating sites regularly, meet people constantly, and can even count a number of my former dates among my pool of friends.
But in the last month alone, the number of married or partnered men who answer my ad suggesting an affair has been depressing.
(I'm not a moralist about it, just not interested.) And the number of single people I meet who believe asking for a 2nd date 3
weeks after the first is staggering. (And, just for clarification, those are not sex dates.)
I am tired of being single! I want a partner! I have been reading your column faithfully, and it seems that your overall assertion is
that Manhattan is not the place for partner-minded people.
Surely there are strategies or gathering sites for we similarly afflicted people even in the city of the Swingin' Singles?
Or should I seriously consider a(nother) move?

Somebody to Love, Sadie

Big cities all have one thing in common:
The masses of people/oportunities make it difficult to concentrate on just one person; one relationship. It's easier in the suburbs
and country to find a partner to settle down with, simply because there are less people to choose from and less going on.
Big cities like NYC are crawling with sexy young singles and although it's an aphrodisiac, it can also be torture for
monogamous minded peeps. Unless you are willing
to move to a small town and start over, I suggest placing ads and being VERY specific about your needs.
I placed an ad for a girlfriend a few years ago, just for fun. I wrote it for her as she was too shy.
I was really blatant in the ad, stating "Sexy, Single woman wants generous, nonsmoking, relationship
minded man. Send pics if you want a reply". She got over 50 replies and on the 3rd date she met her current husband/father
of their child. They are still together and that was 9 years ago. There IS love in Manhattan; there's just too much of it.
You have to be more aggressive when courting a long term love here as the hetero men have the advantage of being outnumbered
by women (and gay males) two times over, which leaves the single women very few single, straight men to choose from.
So, either be more specific in your ads, turn “bi” to increase your chances or stop looking all together, as if you've given up;
and love may sneak up on you (a watched pot never boils) or move to a smaller city, one where meeting people is a
bit easier as Nyc, the city of fun,
will never change, it loves to be "single, but dating".

I am currently seeing this 28 year old – I'm 31. It's been 9 months. I know all his friends, his parents,
and he wants to see me, calls, etc..
We have had a few dramas – what beauties – but in the end we worked thru it and we keep moving forward.
We are both fireballs and a little stubborn – him more than me, but he is patient and forgiving. We are both 'catches'.
The problem: he is not verbal at all – but when I mention it, he does try to correct it. There is very little talk of future.
I asked him over dinner if he saw me in his future and he said “yes”, and that he “doesn't waste time”.
Is the non-verbal thing ok, if he is showing in other ways? Should I stay in this and keep flowing or change
it by breaking up? Part of me thinks maybe he'll never be ready.

Ms. Stay or go

You asked a question I would personally never, ever ask a man: "do you see us sharing a future?". That is a waste of breath
and shows them you are insecure and aiming at putting pressure on them. He said "yes, I don't waste time". This should have
made you feel really confident, but you are still questioning the relationship. You seem to be looking for a way out,
in my opinion. Love doesn't come with insurance and all we have is today. You can not ensure a future with anyone.
You can get hit by a car; he could die of cancer. Just chill and enjoy the present with
this man who seems to really love you (you met his parents, friends, he verbalized seeing you in his future).
So what he isn't verbal? If you want verbal, date a woman.

August 25, 2009

Ask Dr Dot Aug. 25 2009

I have been writing "Ask Dr. Dot" for over 7 years now. My advice column appears in the Exberliner magazine, NY Rock.com and as "Calling Dr. Dot" in Penthouse forum. Feel free to email me (drdot@drdot.com) any questions you may have. I answer them free and always change the names around to protect your little secrets from everyone else.

Dr. Dot

I'm a young "forty something" lady. I've been invited to a concert where I may get
an opportunity to meet some famous dudes. (Aerosmith)
There are going to be tons of little skinny ass chicks(yes I'm jealous), and I just
want to look hot. Not disgusting, but ya know, it would be nice to be "kinda hot
for a forty year old." I don't have a clue what to wear. I don’t want to be in
running shoes, like eww. Help.
Any pointers?
ps. You always look good.
Mary (from the bus, last tour, you know, leather?)

Decide what your best assets are-
if they are your breasts, wear a low cut shirt in navy blue and a back pencil cut
skirt to the knees and fancy flip flops or those ballerina shoes in silver. If your
best asset is your tiny waist, wear a sun dress that has frills where your tiny
breast sit and again, simple but comfy shoes (high heels make women miserable after a few hours).

Go easy on the make up and hair, focus on your best feature on your face as well and
avoid red lip stick unless your skin and teeth are flawless. Use my secret weapon,
"Hypnotic Poison" and smile no matter what. When speaking, remember, quality, not
quantity works best. If you meet Steve, tell him Dr. Dot says hello. Also, keep in mind,
I am pretty sure all of the band are taken, as in, in a relationship, so there is no
need going through hell trying to lure one of them; just be comfortable in your own skin,
smell nice, smile and radiate confidence which is the sexiest thing of all.
ps. If you don't want to wear a skirt, you could wear Capri’s. Make sure you use a shimmer
body lotion that makes skin look amazing.

I'm really puzzled by the fact that my boyfriend would rather eat me out than have sex.
We see each other a few days a week and have had sex only once in our 3 month relationship
everything else has been oral, him giving it to me; he never lets me give it to him. It's
like he's crazy about it, that’s all he wants to do. What's going on? Is there something going on?
Suzy Cream Cheese

If that's your only problem, consider yourself blessed. A man who only wants to lick your
pussy and wants nothing in return? Hold on tight to him. You have obviously seen his cock.
Could it be too small or soft? Maybe he’s afraid of disappointing you. Maybe he is afraid
of getting you pregnant (read: Catholic). Many men don't trust condoms or even the pill due
to former bad experiences ("surprise" pregnancies). Perhaps you just taste so fucking good
he is addicted. Don't look a gift horse, or cunnilingus master in the mouth.

I am about to propose to the love of my life. Her brother recently died in
Iraq (why do we send away our young men to this country to far away land and
get them back in boxes; all a mother has left of her son is a fucking flag!).

She cries everyday. I feel helpless.

Should I propose soon….and that will give her some happiness to
take away the pain, or should I wait till everything has settled. I would
marry her Monday if I could, but I just want to get it right for her.

Mr. Right

I would wait a couple weeks, maybe even a month until after the funeral,
and then propose to her.
You don't want your wedding anniversary to be too close to his death date.
If you do it too soon, she could think of it as just a romantic pity party.
If you wait too long, she could close her heart to love all together and
need a long time to completely open it again.

My ex is from Poland and went over there to see her…bout 5 months back anyway
we met at airport, had 4 hour journey back to her place was 7 am!! I was sooo tired
but she said “lets do it- do you have condom?” Well I did but feeling so tired I
just didn’t want to…i.e. I’d of been shit lol. So we didn’t and didn’t have
opportunity to do it again. Anyway, I got back home and she ended it per text
message about month later. That got me thinking. I loved her; maybe if did make
love to her on that occasion our relationship would’ve lasted longer? Looking back
I kinda feel guilty over it. I am dumbfounded and gutted.
Mr. Pitiful

I’ve had men visit me in the past from far away and I knew for sure they would fall
fast asleep due to the journey. So I let them be. I expect the same when I visit someone.
There should be some sort of sexual travel leeway period; an unofficial "leave me
alone for 24 hours please" phase. I think she just used that pathetic excuse to dump you.
If someone dumps you for that, they aren't even worth thinking about anymore.
Be grateful you are rid of that impatient wench.

Please cough up some advice for me ASAP. I have seriously not told ANYONE what I'm about
to tell you, but this issue is getting too big for me to ignore.
Basically, my problem is this: I'm in a serious relationship with a sweet but somewhat
insecure man. He is extremely concerned with making me happy in bed, and after some
awkward attempts at the beginning of our relationship, he worked really hard to find
out what I liked and is now able to satisfy me nine times out of ten. So it's not out
of sexual frustration that I've started having fantasies about women more and more recently.
It's something I've always done from time to time, but now for the first time I feel
like I might want to put it into practice. I really want to involve my
boyfriend in this, at least tell him how I've been feeling, but there's a problem: His
last girlfriend left him for a woman, and he's very touchy on the subject of girl-on-girl.
He's not against lesbians by any means, but he gets visibly uncomfortable whenever the
subject comes up, changing the topic of conversation, even changing the channel when two
women get friendly on TV. I care about him so much,
and I'm afraid my desires will chase him away. I don't know what to do. Can you help??

Potentially Bi in Harlem

I would love to know if these lesbo fantasies started before or after you found out about
his ex dumping him for a dike. Be honest and think back. If you started lusting after
women AFTER he told you this, it's simple; you are playing with the forbidden fire.
You know it's taboo and now crave it madly. If not, and you have always wanted to taste
the bearded clam, but want to keep your man, you should just do this on your own time,
without telling him, as it's obviously not going to work. Give the guy a break. Put yourself
in his shoes. At all cost, try your best to hide all evidence of your lesbian adventures.
Asking him will only make him more insecure, jealous and you may end up losing him completely.

I am a proud lady who masturbates on a daily basis. My technique has become
refined in the most recent years and lately I have noticed something… When I
have a very good strong orgasm; my hearing is somewhat diminished. Similar to
when your ears start to go towards popping when going up an elevator. 5 minutes
later my hearing is back to normal. Is this because the blood is rushing from my
ears to my vagina?

Alotta Vagina

Good news is, it is fairly normal. Bad news is, I'm gonna have to get all medical
on you to explain it properly. Take a deep breath and read on.
The ear popping is due to excessive dopamine-adrenalin conversion during orgasm while
your tissue and nerve around and in your ear lack of the relaxin/elastin Prostaglandin
to withhold the orgasmic contraction due to a sequence of adrenalin surges during or after orgasm.
Your auditory nerve is suddenly compressed by the tissue contraction and suffers from
the interruption of nutritional supply due to a sudden contraction of the arteries.
This results in nervous numbness. It can happen in your face, ears, nose, eyes, hands,
legs, pelvic area, or even your whole body. Whew. Who needs to hear anything after they
climax? I think its mother natures way of shutting everything else out so you can just
savor the spectacular moments during and after your orgasm.

May 23, 2009

Ask Dr. Dot May 23 2009

I've been married for 8 years now, and it has been one disappointment

May 9, 2009

Love, the drug?

Some folks function better when the are in love but some people turn to shit when they are in love. Like love is a flu or something that paralyzes them, clouds their thoughts, confuses them and over powers them. Still not sure if being in love is a good thing or a bad thing. I suppose if you have a good relationship to love, it may push you up, but if you don't, it will steal our face rite off your head. The hurricane called love. Like a roller coaster, all the ups and downs. pffft.

It is raining it's ASS off again here in NYC. It was sunny yesterday, but now it's a monsoon again. I feel like the final countdown is on now, slowing tying up loose ends here in NYC in anticipation for my return to Berlin in June. It still bothers me greatly to live in two different places and lead two different lives. When will it end? “I want a horse, I want a sheep, wanna get me a good night sleep, lookin for a home in the heart of the country.. gonna move, gonna go, gonna tell everyone I know, lookin for a home in the heart of the country” Macca .