It is sunny in Berlin, but really cold. Not just the weather either I have to say it is getting harder to adjust each time I go back and forth from NYC to Berlin. Takes longer each time. The differences are amazing. It's cleaner here in Berlin and more organized but the people just do not smile on the street and if you make eye contact with them and grin, they look at you like you must be drunk and/or crazy. Note to self: stop smiling.
Jasmine is back from Italy and can speak really good Italian (she would stop me and correct me "It's NOT GOOD, it's WELL!!" but hey, I think if James Brown sang "I feel well" it just wouldn't have had the same impact. I feel GOOD dammit. Well, not really, my throat is still keeping me down, making me sleep 10 hours a day. Going to a new Ear, Nose Throat Doctor today, see what SHE says. If it's true the American Doctor "Forgot loads of tissue!".
Anyways, it is sooooooo great to see and squeeze Jasmine again. My true love. My sweetie pie. She's a big girl now and wants to go live in NYC for 5 months or so. NOT Hoboken, she wants to live directly in Manhattan and will do so soon. OMG, more sleepless nights to come. I often ponder having another kid but would I just worry even more? Does the love outweigh the worry? I am sure it does. I am so stuck in my ways now though, I love sleeping in; sleeping until I feel like it. Traveling where and when I feel like it. If I have another child all that shit will come to a screaming halt. But I now have the funds and capability to have a nanny, to do the boring work: laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning.. which would leave me more time and energy to give more fun love to the child and sneak in a jog or two as well as regular concerts and karaoke nights.. oh the decisions. I am a Libra and can never decide anything.
My Birthday is this Friday. I hate birthdays. I think anyone over 30 hates Birthdays. BUT it is a fact, we all grow old (unless we get shot, run over or die of cancer before old age sets it). I guess one has to embrace it, but I will remain immature and youthful as long as possible. I am very immature. I admit it. I find myself gravitating to older women (STILL) to get my Mommy fix. Never got that motherly love so I crave it, still. Any women who read this and have a child or are thinking of having a child, be sure to love your child the best you can, as often as you can or they will grow up clinging to older women, like I do, it's pathetic.
Joe Jackson just called, he will come over again for another massage. He came last week and pointed out something to me that has never, in 18 years of flying back and forth from Berlin to NYC, occurred to me. Joe was trying to get a massage at like 8 pm last week and I said "Oh, no, I fall asleep at 7pm for a couple weeks after landing, thanks to Jet Lag". Joe says something that made me feel dumbstruck. He goes "Wot? You go to bed at 7pm and get up at 6am, that means you have Backwards jetlag Dot". LOL!! We talked about it and he is right. It makes NO fucking sense that I get up early after flying from NYC to Berlin. If I go to bed at 7pm here (Berlin) it is 1pm in NYC. Then I get up at 6am here but it's only midnight in NYC. But that's how I've been doing it for the last 18 years. So I have Backwards Jet Lag, as diagnosed by Mr. Joe Jackson. heh heh.
Anyhow, the two pictures below were taken on my balcony in the USA (notice Danny in the background)..Someone from myspace sent me (well, my assistant in Baltimore) this t-shirt to me as a present. I LOVE IT.
Ok, 8 days after surgery and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can only sleep for 4 hours max, then due to ear aches & dry throat from the surgery, I wake and can't fall back sleep, but I have been getting a lot done nevertheless. Look at all the blogs I have been writing
Some of these pictures are a few weeks old. The one above, from left to right, is of Tom, Jeremiah & my uncle Jack (my late Mother's younger brother). They are obviously flaming gay and call themselves the "Sears of Gay" since they are from the 'burbs of CT. They have been together for 19 years (maybe even 20 by now) and are legally married. Now they have reached the pot of gold at the end of every gay rainbow and have adopted a baby. He is cute as hell and actually a blood relative.
My cousin Crystal, who's Mother Irene is my late Mother's younger sister is her mother. Anyways, Crystal already has 2 healthy children and decided to make their dream come true and allow my Uncle and his husband adopt her baby; they were even there to cut the cord. I suggested they call Ophra, but then again, in conservative CT, it may be unwise to cause a fuss.
Jeremiah gets all the love he needs and Tom is the dotting "Mom" so to speak and can barely wait to get home from work to show his son loads of love and attention. They are great parents. Funny thing is, when we all go out to eat, I catch myself putting lipstick on at the dinner table, you know, after eating and looking in my pocket mirror for food between my teeth, self absorbed behavior and I look around and see people watching me and imagine they must be thing "what an ignorant Mother! She has barely given that kid any attention all meal, the poor men have to do all the work!". Then I have to giggle and think , if they ONLY knew the situation.
It's also funny walking around with them as people stop and want to say "the baby looks just like…..you?" ha ha. What a gas.
Obviously Jeremiah is inspired by my many "foot on tour" pictures and has pulled a copy cat move here in Hoboken ^
The view from Weehawken is also breath taking. I was thinking, Jeremiah is gonna have to grow a thick skin. He is half black, has white parents, who are both male and gay and his name isn't exactly the kind that blends in. I hope he takes karate lessons before he hits the 4th grade. The part of CT they live in is predominately white and conservative like I said. Oh well, it is his destiny to open minds; to rock the boat
So I am sitting here sipping pure cranberry juice and listening to the Who's Quadrophenia. I was inspired to hear more Who by my friend Justin Kreutzmann. His father is the son of the Grateful Dead drummer, Bill. Justin is a film director and just sent me a dvd he directed for the Who called 'Fragments; fan club dvd'. It is amazing.
Justin said he would someday direct my "how to give a massage" dvd that I have been dreaming of making for years now. That would rock if it happened. I wonder if I could convince Sting to keep his word and be in my dvd. Or I could ask Simon Cowell, I bet he would do it 🙂
Justin works full time for Pete Townshend, filming and doing whatever.. great job to have, or?
Aaah, Jonesy . It was SO GREAT to hang with Jonesy again. He is one of my favorite people on earth. Talent oozes out of every pore of his. He is a singer and stand up comedian. He was singing "I keep forgetting we're not in love anymore" by Michael McDonald when I took this shot. He sounded EXACTLY like the original. Jonesy can morph into anyone he sings. He can do Aretha Franklin and sound just like her, seriously. When I first met him, I walked into a karaoke bar and heard "Misses, misses Jones" (you know that great song?) and wondered which black dude must be on the mic. I came further into the bar and it was a short blonde guy from Boston. That was about 3 or 4 years ago and we have been best buddies ever since. I can NOT understand why he isn't famous yet. He is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay funnier than Dane Cook. I predict he will be the next Jim Carey. Mark my words.
Brooke is a karoake DJ at Iggy's in NYC. She is 24 and an Opera singer so I have no idea what such a gorgeous girl is doing hosting karaoke. I love going there on Monday nights as you can sing ANYTHING as it's not so crowded. Jonesy, Danny and I were whipping out such crazy tunes. I sang Rocky Raccoon, Happiness is a warm gun and Back in the Saddle again (none of which I ever tried before). Those were the days, when I could go sing karaoke 🙁 I wonder how long I have to wait to (1) sing karaoke (2) give head after this tonsil surgery. I really wonder.
They were supposed to start at 10pm and only play until Midnight so I was rather annoyed that they played 20 minutes of them jamming (mainly cool Stones tunes). I mean, us karaoke whores were DYING to grab the mic and sing with the live band so it was torture just listening to them heh heh. If I want to go see a live band, I will go see Steve Vai ok? I went there because the bar was hosting Live Karaoke.
After 20 minutes of them jamming (which I figured out was them just pulling off a sound check while on the clock) Danny and I got to sing some songs. I sang Back in Black, Dirty Deeds and Helter Skelter. Danny sang I touch myself and YMCA, which he did NOT sign up for; I signed him up secretly and he was not amused, but still pulled it off well. Singing with a live band is waaaaay better than normal karaoke. I filmed Danny and he filmed me, but it was too dark in the tiny shit hole, so I had to scrap the material, sadly.
Fet once again, made our photo shoot fantasy come true by photo-shopping Danny ^
Even shopping with Danny is fun. I am such a fag hag.
I was walking down Washington street in Hoboken the other day and thought to myself, these ^ guys look so old school Hoboken (home of Frank Sinatra and supposedly the birth place of Baseball (but I can imagine Romans playing stick ball WAAAY before America was even discovered)
Typical scene on a week end night in Hoboken outside the Path train station, girls waiting for a taxi ride home..
sweet. I LOVE Hoboken.
x
ps. Steve Vai emailed me today and asked me for my home address. Wonder if he is sending me a get well soon present? I will definitely drag my ass to his show on the 28th (tomorrow). I can't miss it! I will just have to keep my mouth shut backstage and not say too much, as it hurts to talk.. it's a big challenge for me (being quiet 🙂
Ok, I have one hour left to eat and drink as much as possible, then after Midnight, no more food or water. Not even a drop of water. I was told to arrive at the Hospital at 6am and that I would be operated at 11am, that means 11 hours of no water, which is hell for me. I drink A LOT of water. Anyhow, regardless of all the horror stories I have read online, I am sure I will get through this operation smoothly.
Not much keeps me down. I am a tough cookie… Today was a gorgeous day here in NYC. Blue Sky, sunshine but not hot or cold, just right. LOVE those crisp fall days.
Jasmine has been texting me in Italian. Showing off her new knowledge. Cute!
"The Squeaky Wheel gets the oil" indeed. A lovely lady named Joanne Harris of the NY Press ( Manhattan Media) returned my call and finally said sorry for the missing checks. "They're in the mail" she said. Nice.
So I am glued to Animal Planet and will probably stay awake until 6am; that's when I usually fall asleep anyways. When I am in the USA I miss Europe. When I am in Europe I miss the USA. If I could leave myself, I would. Being an indescisive Libra is annoying at times.
if I die during the operation, I am hoping my friends will arrange a massive rock and roll karaoke funeral. No rap or techno (apart from Eminem and Outkast ) please.
Danny and I love to make videos. I bought this game called "Anal ring toss" from the Romantic Depot and was dying to try it out, well, on someone else. Hope you like the video.
Ok I think it's best I make a few tiny blogs at this point, rather than one giant one. I had a LONG flight to NYC and luckily I sat next to a cheery lad named Bryan. He is from Wisconsin and was in Berlin visiting his girlfriend (who was an exchange student in th USA for one year). She made him a shirt, that he had on, that said "I LOVE STEFFI" with a picture of them two together. The boy is LOVE SICK.
He and I chatted the whole flight and suffered together the WHOLE flight. It's not bad enough that it's 9 hours but they took an extra hour deciding when to fucking take off. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. We had an empty seat between us so it was ok. Poor kid had to change planes in NYC and missed his connecting flight and had to wait 6 hours for the next flight (he told me this on line). Have you ever seen the flick "planes, trains and automobiles"? You get the drift. HELL.
^ I am wearing a string thong fyi …. (Mein arsch ist 'ne slip fresser)
It doesn't take me long to get back into the swing of things. Hanging out with my gay friends, baring our asses all over the place.. Danny is starting to get into karaoke, like me. He sings Abba "Waterloo" and "Sweet Transvestite" from the Rocky Horror Picture show soundtrack and "I touch myself" by the Dyvinls (sp?). He also belts out "you ain't woman enough to steal my man".
I sang "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse, "Coshise" by Audioslave, "Hurt so good" by John Cougar and"what's love go to do with it" by Tina Turner. Things are rather slow, erm, empty in the city, but I am sure that will change after Labor Day. Then it gets packed again.
^VERY gay
Danny and I ate at my favorite restaurant, the Yaffa Cafe (St. Marks Place). It's open 24/7 and has EVERYTHING. The cooks are outrageous and it's cheap.The gaudy, tacky surroundings keep your eyes busy throughout the meal if you get sick of looking at your dinner date. Perfect for taking pics.
Danny is in school to be a TV writer. We are already working on our first screen play too. My idea, but he will have to write it, as I haven't the time. It's a movie, well, centered around music, that's all I can tell you for now, snap.
I can't believe Danny has never posed at Times Square yet. He almost got run over, pants down and all. Anyways, I am happy to be back in the USA, NYC fucking ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel overwhelmed though, as I have to write my weekly column today and I STILL have not finished my Zappanale blog. UGH!! I have to do it within 48 hours or I will enter "self loathing" territory and won't be able to sleep. If I don't write, I feel constipated. Like posting a big blog makes me feel lighter, you know that feeling I am talking about. Like you just took the BEST dump ever. I am a blog addict. I admit it. It's 7am and the sun is shining and I am STILL UP. Back to my old sleep pattern. The sun is over rated anyways.
Ttyl
x
ps. I got a call from a VIP, so I could be going to Philly this weekend to massage them. Would LOVE to say who it is, but that would jinx it..
Catherine ^ my friend, best massage assistant and right hand woman, comes up to NYC to visit me and we just trade massages for 3 days straight or more. Our hair gets so much massage oil in it, that we stick to wearing hats and laying low until the massage fest is over. But ooooooooh, it's so worth the message hair. It's heaven on earth! Some clients are lucky enough to get our 4 handed massage when she is up visiting from Baltimore. I do their backs while she does their legs and then we switch. Paradise.
Braveheart ^
Another treat in May was massaging Adam Levine again. Talented eye candy. The girls LOVE him.
Speaking of eye candy. Look who I found wandering around NYC.. a real live cowboy (from Wales). Thought for sure he was a yank with that hat on. Maybe he doesn't herd cows or horses, but sheep? Anyways, he's as pretty as a picture.
Thanks to the dollar being so low and useless, the Brits and Irish are floodig Manhattan. These lads are from an Irish Rugby team.
My gay friend Darren was enjoying the fleshy show. I only drink two glasses of wine when I go out. Apparently it's too many.
I hate the song, but it is truly "Raining Men" in NYC. Straight, Gay, Buff, Rich, Poor, Fun, Boring and/or from every corner of the world you can imagine. If these guys are willing to take off their clothes in public, why shouldn't I take some lovely pictures? Too bad one can't hear their accents through the pictures, the Welsh and Irish accents are oooh soooo lovely.
Darren, my gay pal, is the one with the wild eyes and tiny goatee' beard. He was THOROUGHLY enjoying all the men loitering around us at one of my favorite karaoke bars, Solas. I am a fag hag again. Between Danny and Darren, it appears I do in fact get along rather well with gay men. In the past, I have seen some act more vicious than any bitch could dream of being, so I was afraid of hanging with gays. But I am over that, we get along and if we have to have a tiny cat fight, we do and move on. The fights always seem to revolve around tits, men and another catty fag hag, but oh well, it's worth all the fun in the end.
Speaking of GAY, today, sore throat and all, I dragged my tired ass out to witness the annual Christopher Street day parade.I took my new and improved video camera out with me for the first time and made LOADS of videos. I now have the task of editing and narrating it, blah blah blah. That's coming up next 🙂
By night or day, Manhattan is breathtaking to look at. Almost as breathtaking as the energy it gives off. Even the surrounding burrows; the ambition and joy that the people feel is contagious. You get high off it. NYC: a natural high. I LOVE NEW YORK (and Hoboken 🙂
Today on MTV total request live (TRL) around 3:30 pm, see Adam Levine do his thing. Great guy!
I massaged him again last night here in NYC, then went out for some karaoke. Karaoke in NYC rules. I am having so much fun here, I hate to leave. I will return to Berlin in a few days to see my cutie pie, Jasmine. I have a massive blog, well, two massive blogs to write. I still haven't done my Monte Carlo and London blog. OMG, I will never get these done 🙁
I am pretty sure that I will be living back in NYC again by the Fall. I will still keep my flat in Berlin, but being back in the US with friends, family and loved ones is so nice. Just walking down the street is fun, everyone smiles, they are enjoying life, having fun, being friendly; it's so refreshing, I miss that! I will still have to visit Europe often, as I love it too. Wish I could split myself in two and live both places at the same time. I will be back again in NYC for just about the whole month of August, as I have to get my tonsils removed. Not looking forward to that. Hope it doesn't change my singing voice. I don't want to be a soprano or so. I need my AC/DC voice! 😀
x
Dr. Dot
"We can never know about the days to come But we think about them anyway, yay And I wonder if I'm really with you now Or just chasin' after some finer day
Anticipation, anticipation Is makin' me late Is keepin' me waitin'
And I tell you how easy it feels to be with you And how right your arms feel around me But I, I rehearsed those lines just late last night When I was thinkin' about how right tonight might be
Anticipation, anticipation Is makin' me late Is keepin' me waitin'
And tomorrow we might not be together I'm no prophet and I don't know nature's ways So I'll try and see into your eyes right now And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days
(These are the good old days) And stay right here 'cause these are the good old day"
Taking a step back now, back to December, in NYC. I know, it's taking me ages to blog lately, but I have a lot of things going on, lots to juggle indeed. NYC was amazing; it's still my favorite place on earth. I filmed my Ask Dr. Dot column for an internet radio show but who knows if that will ever take off or not. People come to me daily with "great ideas" on how to make me rich/famous, get my books and ideas out there. They all talk SHIT! It was good practice, as now I am thinking of how to make a Pod cast for my column. Only thing holding me back is the fact that I would have to spend even MORE time online (my poor ass doesn't want to be sat on that much). I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it. You get the picture.
< Rite Aide
Even though NYC is one of the BEST places on earth to go out and party, my friends and I try to find healthy, fun things to do instead of always hanging out in bars doing karaoke and shaking our asses. Rite Aide and CVS are open 24/7 and so you can shop whenever you fucking want to without anyone rushing, pushing, nagging, etc. We end up in these places very often and well, we like to spice things up by pushing the envelope. My ass needed some air, so I let her out and started a trend amongst my pals. It was a big rush of adrenaline, seeing how far we could REALLY go without getting caught/arrested for indecent exposure.
My Gay friend Danny and I raise extreme amounts of hell, and we don't even need alcohol
to do so. We are naturally high. We had to ask a stranger to take these pics, he wanted some
cash in the end and we were like "ok, check's in the mail fuck face".
Our mutual pal MAX shot this tiny video in Rite Aide on New Years Eve. Well, it was actually
in the wee hours of New Years Day come to think of it. NAUGHTY!
This was really CHEEKY! ^ I am on a bench, in front of the Hoboken Town Hall, and in front of their Nativity
scene. Tsk Tsk, what a disrespectful wench.
^ Ok, that plunger idea was mine. Too bad he kept his undies on 🙁
It's REALLY fun riding in those carts; the place was packed so this shot was difficult to pull off without many
people seeing the ASS.
Funny thing is, I met Danny AGES ago in a Rite Aide, buying a stupid amount of Cotton Balls at 4am. Long story.
My friend FET made this Thong with the Wind movie poster, that's what friends are for 🙂
Daryl is my NYC massage rep. She runs the show in that area when I am away. I trust her BIG TIME, she is so incredibly honest and ambitious and amazing at what she does. I now have 3 reps on my team, Daryl, Catherine (Baltimore) and Roddy (London). They work their way up to that position and it means they are extremely dependable and trust worthy and basically the best at what they do. That guy there in the pic, Don, is a myspace friend. Sometimes when I know I will be in a certain area, I post a bulletin and say "lets RAWK! Let's karaoke!" and I meet some of my myspace pals. Don is a really cool dude. We all went to some cheesy Asian karaoke bar cause my favorite place, IGGY's (upper East Side) didn't have it that night, the night I ask all my myspace friends to come sing with me if they can (Normally they have it 7 nights a week but they didn't that night so I was flappin'!)
Daryl and her "friend" who looks like Tiger Woods. Daryl can sing her ASS off, I was amazed!!!!! People come up to
that guy and ask for his freakin' autograph on a regular basis. He REALLY looks just like him, it's bananas.
Even though Iggy's was closed the one night, it didn't stop me from going back. I LOVE that place, it is a fucking freak show!
This one guy brings his freakin' Chinchillas in there while people sing wicked loud (karaoke). I let them crawl all over me
(not the guests, the Chinchillas). After touching those little critters, I have to loathe anyone who wears that kind of fur. MEAN!
I got to see one of my best pals, Jonesy and his gal Barbara at one of my favorite restaurants "44X10". It's called that cause it's ON 44th and 10th. It's fucking LOVELY, the food, the service, the drinks, the staff. PLUS you can park free on 10th ave after 7pm. What more could you want? And of course, it's NON smoking, which is heaven on earth for me. Jasmine and one of her best pal's Rachel joined us: those girls!! Also pictured above, Mechel and I and her pal (Mechel is the one wearing the skull & cross bone shirt) and you can see Danny lurking in the back ground. He was nervous being in another "Breeder" bar (as in, not a gay bar), but he survived.
Back in Berlin, Shai, Danielle and I go out and sing from time to time. I usually have to play body guard and shoo the men away, as those
two are too nice. Not the case with me. Heh heh.
Of course the convo usually leads to oral sex and this time they wanted me to show them what I meant ^ (don't ask)
< Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly
I can't BELIEVE I still have that fucking shirt. I bought it in NYC at Trash and Vaudville in 1984!! No wonder I'm not a millionaire yet,
I gave out a fortune in Beatles and Stones shit over the years. That bastard cost me $80 and I've never worn it.
OK, I massaged Shai, then Alex, then they got crazy on my massage table ^ They are NOT shy.
I went to Manchester, England on Feb 10th. I was so excited to go there and hang with my friends and Vicki (dressed as a man here) organized me going on a Music related TV show called "Manchester City Social" or something to that effect. The night I landed was pure chaos. The place I was supposed to stay at, well, the guy changed his mind and said "not tonight, but tomorrow" which left me in the fucking shit. Vicki offered me a place to stay at her place, but it's really small and she and her room mate already had guests staying there and so I had to move my shit to another random renters house, a guy named Keir who was mad cool, but the room he rented was FAR from dark and quiet like he said it would be, in fact, I doubt a place could be any fucking LOUDER!.
Anyways, Vick, Will and I went to the party, the party in which women were supposed to dress as old men and men were supposed to dress as old ladies. Didn't sound very fucking appetizing to me, so I came dressed normal and luckily didn't get turned away for showing up without a costume. The party was great and Vicki rapped on the mic, freestyle for what seemed like hours, she is born to entertain and she is getting her own radio show very soon, and personally, I think she belongs on TV, she is so fucking funny. She sings and has a song called "Don't fucking touch me on the dance floor!" which I am SURE would go over very well in the states, as I personally hate dancing in America, as the men think it's ok to hump you raw on the dance floor, some even sandwich you like a piece of lunch meat.EW, fucking EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sad thing is, they do it cause the girls LET them do it, so they think it's ok to do that to every snatch they see. Wrong fucking answer.
< Too much touching on the dance floor
As you can see, most dressed up for the party.
^ Vicki's breast made a special appearance
This is at a bar called Siam Orchid Lounge (Portland ave). It has karaoke 7 nights a week!! So basically, it's the Iggy's of Manchester. Lots of rowdy fucking
red necks (but the Mancunian accent makes them kewl). It takes for FUCKING HOURS to sing here, so bring lots of time and money
as it's also very expensive. I suggest drinking at home, then going here and drinking water. Their wine SUCKS ASS (screw off cap). It's
great for karaoke, but the food and drinks here bite, get my drift? It's a karaoke-whore hang out. I found it horrifying that they didn't have ONE
James Brown song in their song book. WHAT THE FUCK!? Are you kidding me? Bring your own karaoke cd's to be on the safe side. heh heh.
ps. It's smoky as FUCK in every bar/pub/restaurant in the UK. I can hardly wait for the smoking ban. Amen.
^ Pauline went and washed off that make up and took down her hair. I didn't even recognize her at first. She is a
KNOCK OUT! (she is from Scotland and her accent is so charming, oh LORD!)
Another myspace mate of mine, Jed. He helped me with my bags, helped me get the hell out of Manchester. I
left in a hurry as the guy who found the last place I stayed at seemed to think it was ok to ring my door bell for hours,
sneak into the building and bang on my door for ages and follow me down the street even when I said I don't want
to talk to him, so in some sense, he was stalking me. I am a drama magnet. Holy FUCK!
Vicki and I went out after I filmed that TV show and we ate at a place called Wagamama.
It quickly became my favorite place to eat in Manchester. I ate there several times.
Yummy as HELL!
< Video I made of that expensive HOLE I stated in
A tiny video I made of that OVER PRICED shit hole I stayed in for 5 nights (it was 300 pound for 5 nights, which is like $600 and it isn't even a hotel, it's a flat that has no internet, mold in the bathroom and pubic hairs all over the bed. Fucking EW!!!!!! The bar above, Churchills, is on Canal Street, the gayest street in the UK, which the fags nick named "Anal Treat" (they altered the sign, so instead of Canal Street it's ANAL TREAT). Anyhow, even hetro's hang on this street as it's hoppin' 7 nights a week and Churchills has karaoke tues. thurs and sunday nights. Vick and I went in there and the Lesbo's were really into my leather pants. One even started waltzing with me in the ladies room. I belted out some James Brown and I have to say, the sound is the best in that town for karaoke. Loved it there. Their song book is a foot thick, they have it ALL. Overall, I found Manchester to be EXTREMELY expensive. I had to drag my lap top to Starbucks every day and pay 5 pounds an hour to check my emails. A cup of coffee is like 3 pounds ($6) and to ring a friend on a cell phone, it usually cost about 4 pounds for a quick chat. I don't see how English people survive. Sure I know a lot of stars, a lot of rich folks, but the normal people I hung with were so broke, they couldn't PAY attention, I mean NO ONE has ANY money there, no one! Really sad situation.
The Germans better fucking count their blessings (6 weeks paid vacation per year,6 weeks of paid Sick Days, cheap health insurance etc) as the English have it HARD compared to how cushy it is in Germany. I bet the UK will fall to pieces if they fall prey to converting to the Euro. I doubt they could survive that blow.
Also, the streets and shops and bars are dirty there (Manchester). Litter everywhere and even the canals were loaded with trash, it was fucking nasty. Sorry, but I have to be honest here.I didn't see ANY grass at all, barely any trees and it stunk like garbage. A great town to go party if you are rich, but there is a lot of fighting there as well, very hostile drunks there (and I mean the WOMEN!). Yes, The women, well, they need to put some fucking clothes on, and no, I am not being prude, I mean most are so fucking chubby and ugly and yet wear things 8 times too small for them and they parade around the streets like that in the FREEZING, wet weather. No matter if it's snowing, raining, freezing, they refuse to wear coats, they want to make it as EASY as possible for the men to look at their bodies.
I can't understand why 95% of the people there walk around without a coat on, are they numb? Dumb? Drunk? Afraid of losing their precious coats? Can't afford one? Or all of the above? Please, fill me in on this, so I can peel my jaw off the floor. Call Jerry Springer, he needs to have a Manchester based show.
Now I know exactly where they got the inspiration for the popular UK comics THE FAT SLAGS from!!
Some crazy fucks floating around that town I tell ya and I was MADLY disappointed at the lack of rock and roll. Everywhere I went I heard shitty "music". I was shocked as I thought great music came from that area. I was hoping to at least hear some Oasis, Happy Mondays or James or so, but no, just cheesy bubble gum techno shite that would make the Spice Girls sound like Led Zepp! Next time I go there, I will do massive research as to where to REALLY go for some good music. The TV show I was on had 3 amazing acts on it, I couldn't believe my ears. So I know there is talent there, but where they fuck do they play/hide?
I guess it's the same in every major city, if you hang out in the tourist center of town, you will get CHEESE.
Me at a tiny English bus stop ^ and a tiny video I made of the country side ^
On my 7th day there, I decided it was time to escape. I was thinking of staying 2 weeks but the place I was staying at fell prey to a stalker and it was getting so expensive, the whole trip cost me more than 1000 POUNDS (that's $2,000) and for what? I still don't know the answer to that. A very special friend of mine came and rescued me, he drove me to the South of England, near Gloucester and I got to see the lovely country side (Prince William lives a mile from there). THIS is the side of England I love, countryside, fresh air, polite folks, no litter, rolling hills of green, cute pubs and loads of land to walk around on, undisturbed. I guess I prefer the country side over the big cities. The ONLY big city I love is NYC, litter and all.
"There's no place like home"
(but where is home? "Home is where the heart is. On the bus")
“Someday we will be famous and rich and get a massage from you”
This is just one version of the silly myths about my massage business. One doesn’t have to be rich OR famous to get a kick-ass, deep tissue and/or relaxing massage to soothe your mind, body and soul.
“Normal person getting massage by Dr. Dot ^
I have massage assistants all over the world and we have good prices. If you come to the Dr. Dot assistant closest to you, it will be cheaper then having them come to you. Having a massage in your home naturally cost more, this isn’t Domino’s pizza ok?
If you want a rub down, just let me know. If you happen to live in NYC or NJ I could probably massage you myself, but if not, one of my tried and tested and very much trusted massage assistants will sort you out.
Click HERE to see my assistants and scroll lightly over the flag next to their name to find out their location…
I have them in the following locations:
Helsinki, Hartford, Berlin, NJ. NY, VA, MD, Philly-PA, FLA (Miami and Tampa), Boston, All over CT, Dallas, Hamburg, Frankfurt, Zurich, London, Birmingham, Glasgow, Dublin, LA (and OC), Paris, Vancouver, Dallas, Albuquerque, Toronto and the list keeps growing.
I have to say it is getting harder to adjust each time I go back and forth from NYC to Berlin. Takes longer each time. The differences are amazing. It's cleaner here in Berlin and more organized but the people just do not smile on the street and if you make eye contact with them and grin, they look at you like you must be drunk and/or crazy. Note to self: stop smiling. 
< Rite Aide
< Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly
"There's no place like home"
