The NY Press passes the buck

Getting ready to have my tonsil operation. They will be removed Tuesday morning, bright and early ( I will probably just stay up as I have to be there at 6am).

The fact that the NY Press dumped a few of it's writers, me and Ed Koch (former NYC mayor) included because of their new format isn't as annoying as the fact that they probably knew ahead of time, like end of July that they would be dumping my column as that is why they didn't bother to pay me for all 4 of my August columns or the first week of September's column. For all 5 weeks, my column was printed but yet they won't pay. They are passing the buck. The new editor David Blum changes his story all the time. First excuse was "it will just take longer, but you will get paid". Then it was "It is not my responsibility" then he told the New York Post reporter Keith Kelly that I was already paid and that he is "only in charge since 1 August" (DUH, that means he should pay me for August and Sept, no? WTF!??). The New York Press is simply passing the buck.

 

LAWYER TIME. 

Jerry Portwood, the old editor, well, he is still there, but was demoted as now David Blum is the big cheese, claims it is the new editors responsibility. The paper simply disrespects it's writers; always has, always will. For the couple years I wrote for them, my column was ALWAYS punctual, yet my pay was always late. Always. They conveniently paid one month late and yet let me know one week before my column was dumped so you can imagine, I will never get paid. It's not the amount that bothers me, it is the principle that big corporations like Manhattan Media (which bought the paper recently ) can shit on the little people and get away with it.

The Libra in me is into justice and I can see it will take a while until Justice is served. I will keep you posted. Of course emails to David Blum and Jerry Portwood wouldn't hurt either. heh heh..

"Let it go" some say. Just let it go. Let the German guy who chased me (stalked me) and knocked me out in January get away with it, let the NY Press get away with having 5 weeks of my great sex column for free. Let everyone just go ahead and take advantage. Nice people get walked on, like a fucking rug. Karma is taking a break I see. Hope she gets back soon and kicks some serious ass. 

Jasmine is in Italy now, studying Italian. She loves it there. I will visit her in October.. she said where she is, is like the Kreuzberg of Italy. Hippies galore. Dread locks galore. Cross yer fingers she is safe over there, my little flower.

ttyl

x

 

 

Britney Spears finally explains ^ her less than excellent performance at the MTV "music" awards last week

18th Annual Zappanale

                                                                                                  ^ Napi primping for his performance

 Finally, a street named after Frank Zappa. I asked myself, “why, why Marzahn?” In case you didn’t know, Marzahn is a part of Berlin that is a tad dangerous if you are a foreigner. There are some neo-nazi’s lurking about still, if you know what I mean. It’s on the outskirts of Berlin and well, I would normally never, ever, go there. I found out though, why Frank Zappa street was born in Marzahn. 

The Orwo Haus is the reason. The Orwo Haus is the biggest recording studio in Europe and (some are sure) the whole world. 150 bands at a time can (and do) rehearse there daily. From the out side, it doesn’t look like much, no one would imagine what is going on inside. Well, you can read more about it HERE  if you want. Blah blah blah. 

< Harry

Napoleon (Napi) steals the show wherever he is. You gotta love Napi. Laughing

Around 3,000 people came from all over the place, on July 28th ( I know, this blog is long over due) to celebrate the unveiling of Frank Zappa street. Many bands played and headlining was Germany’s best Frank Zappa tribute band “Sheik Yerbouti” . Napoleon Murphy Brock joined them as their special guest. Nappi gets around 🙂

 

You can see many more pics from that event if you click HERE 

 

 

I was asked to join them for their Encore, a hot version of “I am the slime”. I was freezing my tits off. When I left my flat, it was steaming hot, so I wore open toed shoes, a skirt and t-shirt and even after 18 fucking years living in Berlin, you would think I would KNOW by now you have to literally drag a bag of clothes around with you as you never know how the weather will be/change.  Me= dumb-ass.

 

I was literally shaking from being so cold that by the time I was asked to come on stage and read a letter from From Frank Zappa’s brother, Bobby to the crowd, my lips were purple. But, like a trooper, nothing keeps  me from spreading the love and music  of Frank Zappa. Nothing.  

^ Robyn & Dot

 Another HUGE Frank Zappa fan ^ (I don’t mean she is huge, I mean, she is a big fan, well, you know what the hell I mean).

She flew all the way from the USA along with a tour run by a man named Scott.

They all came together for the street naming and the Zappanale.  

 

 

Like I was saying, NOTHING prevents me from preaching Zappa music. In Germany I am often invited onto talk shows and written about, as they find my career fascinating (so do I ). And every single interview I have ever done, since 1997, I have mentioned Frank Zappa. He crowned me “Dr. Dot” long ago, so that is usually how his name is mentioned “How did you come up with that name?” they ask. Then I tell them about Frank, how my Dad is a massive Zappa fan and how much his music means to me. His music is the BEST (well, I am also insanely into the Beatles, so it’s a tie). 

 

This is my new Zappa shirt ^ My pal Mark drew it and made it for me. I won’t mention were you can find him online as I have  a suspicion a certain family may not like Franks face being sold on anything without their approval. Sorry.

 

That man ^  in the above picture with me, is Thomas, the President of the Arf Society. What is the Arf Society you ask?

Founded on the 20 March 1993, the Arf-Society is a
Frank Zappa fan club based in Northern Germany
with an international membership.”

It’s best you just click HERE to read all about them.  

 

Wolfhard K. actually founded the Arf Society but Thomas is the pres. since a few years (Wolfhard is a busy man). Wolfhard and Thomas are extreme Zappa fans and have been putting on the annual Frank Zappa music fest which they call the Zappanale. This year was the 18th annual Zappanale and they invited me to help out a bit and to join Project Object on stage for some fun. So I accepted and I will try to find the words to explain how happy I am that I went. 

 

Project Object (my favorite Zappa tribute band) ^

What’s missing from this picture? Ike fucking WILLIS, that’s what. Where was Ike? His name was on the posters, the tickets, the press releases. A driver was sent to pick him up in Berlin, all the way from Bad Doberan, which is a 3 hour drive. He did not get off the plane as planned. In fact, he never even bothered to get in touch to tell them he missed his plane.

Why would Ike miss his plane? Because he is having an unfortunate struggle with cocaine addiction. I am not leaking any private information here. Everyone who is hip to the scene knows this. In fact, just about everyone who has met Ike in the last few years, has lent him $50. Ike owes EVERYONE $50. It’s rather ironic that Ike, who was Frank’s right hand man for YEARS and his best friend, ends up a crack addict. Frank was shrewdly against drugs (well, cigarettes are indeed a drug too, but anyways..).

In my opinion, drugs suck. I have never tried cocaine and can’t stand being around people who take it or even talk about it. BUT I can imagine why Ike does this drug. Not making excuses for him, but imagine your best friend dying, how horrible that must be and then on top of it, having to sing his songs almost daily to a crowd of his fans. Frank’s shoes are impossible to fill, and being on the front line,  almost daily (well, nightly) singing the lyrics your best mate wrote must do your head in. It must be hell. Hell in paradise.

Making a living doing something you love is paradise, but in such a circumstance, it can be difficult. If you are sensitive (most artist are overly sensitive) then falling into such a trap, is understandable. Not good by all means, but I can see why it happens.

Fame, drugs, money, (or was it the music? ) heh heh. I just hope Ike gets help and fast. He could end up dying, like other artists have done, thanks to that pesky, overwhelming, addiction People should plan a huge intervention and toss him into Rehab. SO MANY famous artist are having trouble now a days. Amy Winehouse is throwing her fucking career in the toilet too, just like Ike is. It’s so sad. 

But anyways, with or without Ike, the Zappanale party went on. 

The first night ( Thursday) everyone meets and greets in preparation for the Zappanale party following the next day.

I LOVE that sweatshirt I have on. I got it in 1988 in Boston. It’s held up pretty well. It says “Broadway the Hard way” on the  sleeve.

So this was night 1. I was a tad tired, but knew I could handle the up coming 3 nights of partying. It was so fun to meet some of the Zappa-teers (huge Zappa fan organization) and see Nappi, Andre’ and the guys again.. 

Andre’, guitarist/vocalist and founder of Project Object with his sweet heart, Cheri. ^

Andre’ preaches Frank big time. He doesn’t earn jack shit touring with his band, he does it for the love of Frank’s music.  

This is the list of all the bands that played at the Zappanale ^

 

 

My hotel ^   it is really strange. There is no one at the desk all night, you could have a massive party in the living room they have off to the side of the lobby  and you could drag that party into your fucking hotel room and no one would care; completely the opposite of the uptight rules they have in Dublin where you can’t even have someone come up to your room to help you with your bags. You have to give it to the Germans, they are liberal Fother Muckers. 

   

The Park across from my hotel. I heard this is where the first ever Zappanale took place. But it got too big for it’s britches and moved to a huge field.. 

 

The town of Bad Doberan is clean, quaint, gorgeous and very tolerant of the annual Zappa festival.  

< Dressed for my “Mary” skit

I finally got to meet my pen pal. Andrew ^ and I have been corresponding online for years. He runs a UK Zappa news/fan web site called “Idiot Bastard Son”. He has intervied many of Zappa’s alumni and I did one for him too a while ago. He was as funny in person as he is online. But then again, most Zappa fans are intelligent, special  and funny, just like Frank’s music. 

  < Bass extraordinaire

 

Project Object were one guitarist and vocalist short ( Ike) but you would have never known it! They were fantastic! 

Don Preston , the man in the purple velvet jacket on key boards, was one of the high lights of the whole Zappanale. He plays with Project Object on tour most of the time, but is busy with many solo projects. I am sure he is over 70 as he is one of the original members of the Mothers of Invention.  

Project Object doing their thing ^ 

One of the few females at the festival was serving beer. I brought that plastic urinal with me, thinking they may not have anything to throw water on me when I play Mary. I got this urinal in a bar in Berlin called  Cafe’ Klo (Klo is a nick name for Toilet in German). Everyone drinks out of these urinals in that bar and you can buy them as well.  I don’t drink beer, but they do hold a lot of beer, so I made good use of it and kept my pals well watered with all of those unwanted beer tickets I was given..

This is Andrew’s pal Ian ^                    Andrew wore this ^ shirt, thinking Ike would be there.  

 Andre’ is a master on guitar ^  

 

This is not the first time I have played “Mary” on stage with Project Object. I like participating anyway I can. I asked them to learn “Valley Girl” so I can sing that with them next time our paths cross.

Here are the lyrics to the song “Fembot in a Wet T-shirt” in case you are one of those people who don’t know the album Joe’s Garage by Frank Zappa..

 

  Act I

SCENE FIVE
THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST

After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
Toad-O’s road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.
With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie…

IKE:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin’ ‘n’ dancin’ ‘n’ payin’
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they’re ready to party
“Cause the sign outside says it’s WET T-SHIRT NITE
‘N’ they all crave some Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They’re gonna get wet
‘N’ the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get ’em upset
‘N’ they all think they are Reety-awright
‘N’ they’re ready to boogie
‘Cause the sign outside says it’s WET T-SHIRT NITE
‘N’ they all crave some Pink delight
When the water gets on’em
Their ninnies get rigid
‘N’ look pretty bold
It’s a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it’s cold
‘N’all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin’ off tonite
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
You know I think it serves ’em right
And it’s WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!

At this point, FATHER RILEY (who had been recently de-frocked
for not meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and
bought a groovy sport coot and moved to Miami and changed
his name to BUDDY JONES) steps onto the crowded bandstand
in his exciting new role as a WET T-SHIRT CONTEST EMCEE…

BUDDY JONES:
Ah, thanks, IKE…
Yes, it’s WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
Here at The Brasserie… Home of THE TITS… huh huh…
And it’s the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals…
Hi,Mary…howya doin?

Having been fucked senseless by the boys in the crew, MARY does
not recognize the former religious personage from her nights in the
rectory basement during which she acquired her basic manual skills…
confounded by his sport coat, she replies…

MARY: Hi!

Realizing that she no longer recognizes him… or even appreciates
the patient religious training he had given her in the past, BUDDY JONES,
like a true WET T-SHIRT EMCEE type person, proceeds to say various
stupid things to waste time, making the contest itself take longer, thereby
giving the mongoloids squatting on the dance floor an opportunity to buy
more exciting beverages. . . liquid products that will expand their
consciousnesses to the point whereby they might more fully enjoy the ambiance
of Miami By Night…

BUDDY JONES:
Where ya from?

MARY:
Ah, the bus…

BUDDY JONES:
Which one?

MARY:
You know…the last tour…
You know…
Leather

BUDDY JONES:
Oh.. .you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III…
why don’t you get in position now and take a deep breath, because
this water is very, very cold, but it’s goin’ to be so stimulating. And
Mary’s the kind of Red-Blooded American Girl who’ll do anything…

MARY:
Anything…

BUDDY JONES:
I said anything… for fifty bucks
That’s right!

MARY:
I really need the fifty bucks you know I gotta get home!

BUDDY JONES:
Yeh, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed… that’s right,you
heard right… our big prize tonite is fifty American Dollars to the girl with
the most exciting mammalian protruberances…

MARY: Here I am!

BUDDY JONES: …
as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male
person’s conservative kind of middle-of-the-road COTTON UNDER-GARMENT!
Whoopee! And here comes THE WATER!

MARY:
EEEK!

BUDDY JONES:
No, you’d squeak more if the water got on you …sounds like you just got an
ice pick in the forehead… AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD…
a million laughs, Mary! Anyway; good golly, what a mess…she’s totally soaked..
totally committed to the fifty bucks.. .That’s it just step into the spotlight.. let the guys
get a good look at ya honey!

MARY:
Here I am!

BUDDY JONES:
Whaddya say, fellas?
Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how’s about shakin’ it around a little…

BUDDY JONES:
Oh my goodness, look at her go!

MARY:
Oooh! I’m dancing!
I’m dancing!

BUDDY JONES:
Ain’t this what living is really all about!
Here’s your fifty bucks, Mary…

MARY:
Oh great! Now I can go home!

BUDDY JONES:
Home is where the heart is.

MARY: “On the bus!”

 

That water was fucking freezing, so the look of shock/horror is authentic. heh heh.  

<  “ Oh great! Now I can go home!”< “with leather?”

The headliners of the whole Zappanale ^.

I haven’t seen Chad since 1988!! He is so shy, so soft spoken. SO SWEET!!! His whole band is sweet in fact. I loved hanging out with these guys. They played an all instrumental set. No Zappa tunes at all, although at certain points you could hear a tad of a Zappa riff, like they were teasing us. They were brilliant. I suppose everyone was expecting them to whip out at least one Zappa tune, but they didn’t. 

Perhaps Chat wants to stay on Dweezil and Gail’s good side. At least now they can’t bitch at them for playing any Zappa music! 

 

Oooh they sounded like butter. Lovely! x 

 

^ you can see from his smile how sweet and genuine he is

 

 

Eric Slick ^ plays drums with Project Object. He is a genius (started playing drums at age 2 🙂

His Mom, Robin Slick, is a famous writer. Check out her blog HERE  

 

The English band, Monty and the Butchers ^ were soooooo fun to hang out with. A million laughs indeed.  

 

Jorg, the film director, who happens to be holding the mic, films each Zappanale. They make a dvd of each Zappanale. They interviewed me for the dvd. I was obnoxious as usual.  

I was lacking sleep, which I really really need right now, as I am literally running on fumes. My tonsils are beyond infected and I was told a year ago they have to be removed but I never find the time, so I have been living on antibiotics and feeling like shit for about two years. I know, it’s stupid. A vicious cycle, but I just never find the time. So if I get less than like 7 hours of sleep, I feel dizzy, sore throat, all that wimpy shit. I was devastated when I was told I had to be up and ready for an interview on stage Saturday at noon. I know this sounds like a diva talking but it’s not. I am just a night person and seldom fall asleep before 7am. Hard habit to break at such short notice 🙂

Jim Cohen, who has been the host for a few years at the Zappanale, was to interview me Saturday at noon. He does a representation each year on the Saturday of the Zappanale  (the Zappanale always takes place in the first week of every August fyi) . He interviews guests and talks in great detail about Frank Zappa. He is a walking encyclopedia of Frank Zappa trivia/facts/info. 

I was there, on time, and went through with the interview. I did most of it in German as it takes place in Germany, but said somethings in English too for the English speaking audience. What I am getting at, is this weekend is a marathon. You won’t be resting, you will be ON the whole time, partying, talking, laughing, dancing and by the end of the weekend, you won’t have a voice anymore. I swear I am still hoarse from the festival and it was a few weeks ago. Found that out the hard way last night at karaoke.  

 

 

Eric Svalgård  ^

The other Eric of Project Object and I signing the symbol for the Arf Society.  

 

Monty and the Butchers hamin’ it up during the grand finale’  ^

 

The crowd (above) and the sound men ( are nice guys, but have to work while everyone else is raising hell, hence the glum faces) 

 

 Chad and Andre’ ^

Don and I discussing his amazing threads his wife sews for him. What a sweet heart! ^ 

 

 

Christian ^ was my driver for the whole festival. The Arf Society was obviously trying extra hard to please me 🙂

 

 Musician soup ^ …………. backstage at the Zappanale was heaven on earth

Hasi ^  a Zappateers member, from Austria and I in the Zappateer tent. This tent is out in the camping area at the Zappanale festival. Everyone in the camping area pretty much parties straight through, with no sleep, from Thursday to Monday morning. It is a non-stop Zappa themed party. The Zappateers tent is the center of it all. I was welcomed with open arms and even knew a few of the people hanging out in the tent.. It was super fun, but I had to hang backstage most of the time, as they had tiny tasks for me to do. 

 

What are the Zappateers? ” The Zappateers are dedicated collectors of Zappa live shows.”

It’s best to click HERE to read more about the Zappateers.. 

 

These two lovely gals ^  know every word to every Zappa song and I love them. They were a fixture in the Zappateers tent and later on stage for the Grand finale too. They are seriously dedicated Zappa fans. They are also big Project Object fans… YES! x 

 

Sunday when I woke up, I thought, “FUCK THIS!” I am too tired to go to the Zappanale grounds again. I thought I would just sleep all day and hide until my ride took me back to Berlin. WRONG ANSWER. Thomas, the president of the Arf Society called and said “where are you hiding!?? We need you on stage at 9pm!”  Eh? I thought my work was done. Guess not. So I dragged my ass out of bed, well, off the floor as I always sleep on the floor in hotels, as I am a walking sleeping disorder. 

Painted my face a bit and tried to get motivated for yet another night of partying. I am only used to going out like once a week, sometimes once a month. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t go out much at all. I am a hermit. It looks like I go out a lot because I blog about it every time I go out. I can only handle two drinks and hate smoking so I am a light weight and need a day to recover when I party (I have always been that way, so don’t laugh to yourself as you say  “it’s called getting old” under your breath). I have always been a light weight. sigh. ANYHOW, where the hell was I?

Oh yes, my lovely driver came and basically had to pry me out of my room as I was really dragging my ass by Sunday. But like magic, once I set foot on the Zappanale grounds, I woke up like a freshly watered flower.  

 

So, I was wondering, what was my chore of the day? Why was I needed on stage at 9pm? Another Wet T-shirt thingy? A massage for Chad? Was I entered into the Zappa trivia game without my knowledge?  

 

< Napi

Um, I know he works for the Zappanale, I think he is the director of transportation but don’t quote me on that, but at any rate, that is Napi posing with a man I think may be Hendrik.  Surprised  (Lets play “name that German!”)

 

Chad & Andre’  ^

 

 

Kurz, Italian Frank Zappa fan and musician (he let me draw that stache on his face 🙂


   

 

 

I was attacked by a sharpie pen ^ 

 

Naturally after 3 nights of camping, the Zappanale guests, artist, campers and workers started to smell a bit. I mean, it is hot, humid, dusty.. everyone is sweating and drinking.. you get the picture. I had a close wiff of Matthews (bassist/vocalist/founder of Monty and the Butchers)  underarm. Me likey. I LOVE the smell of a man’s sweat. Fuck deo and perfume and show gels. I want to smell the MAN, not the fucking brand. Nothing I hate more than a man wearing perfume, cologne, aftershave, deo etc. I want to smell the truth baby!

Well, it’s only fair…    ^ 

Sunday night, we were ALL TOAST. I couldn’t believe that Monty and the Butchers hadn’t seen the Zappa statue of Bad Doberan yet!

The drivers brought us there and we had a little photo shoot. The one with the glasses (passed out) is Joe. he plays horns some times for Project Object. What a laugh that night was! 

 

 

Me posing with the Zappa statue. There was a LOT of controversy surrounding the statue. Gail Zappa didn’t approve it and is still not happy about it. The Arf Society had to fight tooth and nail to convince the town of bad Doberan to even allow the statue to be erected there. All the drama!! It’s so sad how everyone  behaves after an icon dies (James Brown, Zappa, Elvis, John Lennon, etc).I hope to fuck the dead idols are looking down, watching the behavior, keeping tabs….

I want to close this now and mention once more, how AMAZING the Zappanale was. I will be there for sure next year. This festival has been going on 18 years, and I hope it keeps going on for many more years. It has a special vibe to it, so much love for Frank, so many cool people, so much fun!!!!!!!!!!! The area is amazing too, it’s magical, in fact I couldn’t think of a better place to have such a wonderful meeting of minds. Thank you Arf Society for the lovely time, I will never forget it.

ps. If you haven’t seen them yet, I made 3 videos (well, one long one, broken up into 3 bits) of my Zappanale experience.

Click the links to see the videos:

 

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3 

The Arctic Monkeys and The Coral do Berlin

 When I showed up backstage with my massage table, I noticed another female massage therapist was already there. I thought "oh jeeze, there's gonna be a cat fight here" but no, it went over well. The record company got it wrong and instead of ordering a chiropractor like the manager needed, they ordered another massage therapist. The lady was called Becky and she is English, living in Berlin. She said "you know me already Dot, I applied to work for you about 6 months ago". Aaah, yes, indeed. Guess we never found the time for the imperative audition. She and I had more than enough bodies to rub down between us. The crew, management, and two bands (and some caterers) all needed massages, so I was happy she was there.

 

The Coral and the Arctic Monkeys played football (ok, for the Americans "Soccer" ) before the show. Lots of talented, English Testosterone in the air. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

 

 I head from several people that just a couple years ago, the Arctic Monkeys used to open up for the Coral. Times have changed indeed. I have faith, though, that the Coral will bounce back and headline like they should all over the states. Apparently they have new management and they will do a better job promoting the talented Brits. They are from just outside of Liverpool… super cute accents. Like butter.

I was working hard but I was in heaven the WHOLE time.

 

^ Didn't realize the drummer and singer were brothers when I first met them…

I'm sure girls go mental over this guy ^

The members of the Arctic Monkeys are rather quiet and a tad shy. As the night wore on, they did come out of their shells a bit more. They are Sooooooooooooooooo young. 

 

The Coral has a unique sound, very melodic, kind of a 60's sound, hard to describe. They appeared on the Conan O'Brien show not too long ago, so they are no strangers to the states. I am routing for them. 

''

Steve Skelly, the singer of the Coral brought me up on stage to watch the Arctic Monkeys set. The Monkeys watch the Coral and vice versa, they support each other and get along great.

It was kind of embarrassing for me to be on the stage as it was very light and there were no speakers to hide behind, so the crowd could all see us. I had my massage oil bottle around my waist and my massage shirt on… no way to hide all that. I was surprised how many people were on the stage during their set actually. I guess the younger the band, the more people are on stage. I mean, at the beginning of the Stones career, you can see old videos of them playing live and there were LOADS of people on the stage.. managers, techs, fans, groupies, etc. NOW, only the BAND and the techs on the side are allowed up. I am sure in a few years that will happen with them as well. I mean, a certain person who works for that band, not mentioning any names, was walking around, not really making an effort to hide much, stretching and leaning against an amp, etc. HELLO!? I find that all very amusing. 

It's like men trying to get their recognition. They are paid to work behind the scenes but secretly long for a bit of that spotlight. It's cute. It's far from the first time I've seen it and I am 1000% sure it won't be the last. 

It's rare that two bands who tour together get on so well, so it was refreshing to see and a great vibe backstage.

Some of the British (and Irish) guys that I know here in Berlin called me asking me for free tickets to this concert. I said "are  you sure you want to go? There will be thousands of young, hysterical girls screaming all night" and they said "exactly, that's why we want to go!". Couldn't get them in anyways, as it was really sold out and well, ass, gas or grass, no one rides for free. 

 

Like I said in the youtube video, Nick is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Not just one the outside silly, I mean, he is a wonderful person. It was difficult for me to behave. sigh. 

Thee guys are LOADS of fun. The music they had blasting out of their dressing room was mostly oldies, stuff like Johnny Cash, the Ronettes, the Proclaimers and lots of other stuff that I can't remember now, sadly 🙁

It all sounded GREAT though. The perfect soundtrack to the perfect evening.  

^ Ok, let me explain so you don't get the wrong idea. Steve Skelly wrote "Thanks for the "LOBE JOB" because I massaged his face and ears and paid special attention to his stressed out ear lobes, like I do. He coined that phrase right there and then. Steve could very well be a stand up comic, he is fucking hysterical. My face hurt when I went home from laughing so much. LOVE THESE LADS!

When they first met me and found out I was American, and saw on my flyer that I had massaged the Undertaker, they went mad. What is up with the Brits loving American Wrestling so much? Lol. It's so strange, they LOVE it. The wanted to know ALL about the Undertaker. cute. 

Steve LOVES the Ronettes and Aretha Franklin. I was also pleasantly surprised when I went to their myspace page for the first time and saw "Frank Zappa" listed up rather high on their list of influences. yay! 

Lee plays a fucking mean guitar. He has a very distinctive sound, one which I heard a few times when the Arctic Monkeys played, not during their wild punk riffs, but sometimes when they slowed down, I heard Lee's influence on them. I have to assume the Coral influenced them a bit, being that they are almost 10 years older than the Monkeys and that the Monkeys opened for THEM not too long ago. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.. sweet 🙂

 

John ^…. another cutie pie. Wtf? Is it raining hotties in the UK or what? 

After his massage (not this one, but the proper one on the massage table in the other room) Ian said "That was the BEST massage I've ever had Dot!". Now those are the words I love to hear.  He wasn't joking when he said he gives a great foot massage. He gave my foot a quick squeeze and I thought I'd died and went to heaven.

 

The Coral on tour:

Jul 28 2007 Lancashire Cricket Ground     Manchester
Jul 29 2007 Lancashire Cricket Ground     Manchester
Aug 18 2007 V Festival     Chelmsford
Aug 19 2007 V Festival     Staffordshire

(and some time in Sept. NYC central park) 

 

and online:

 http://www.myspace.com/thecoral

 

The Arctic Monkeys on tour:

  
07.18.07 Lisbon Coliseum Lisbon
       
07.19.07 Auditorio Del Parque De Castrelos Vigo
       
07.21.07 Festival Internacional de Benicassim Valencia / Benicassim
       
07.22.07 Les Arenes de Nimes Nimes
       
07.24.07 Paleo Festival Nyon
       
07.28.07 Old Trafford Cricket Ground / LCCC Manchester
       
07.29.07 Old Trafford Cricket Ground / LCCC Manchester
       
08.03.07 Hordern Pavilion Sydney
       
08.04.07 The Tivoli Brisbane
       
08.05.07 Splendour in the Grass Festival Byron Bay
       
08.07.07 Festival Hall West Melbourne
   
08.11.07 Summer Sonic Festival / SummerSonic Osaka
       
08.12.07 Summer Sonic Festival / SummerSonic Tokyo
       
09.01.07 Ibiza Rocks Ibiza
       
09.08.07 Virgin Festival – V Festival Toronto

09.09.07 Osheaga Music and Arts Festival Montreal
           
09.14.07 Austin City Limits Music Festival Austin TX
   
09.15.07 Austin City Limits Music Festival Austin TX
   
09.16.07 Austin City Limits Music Festival Austin TX 

 

and online:   http://www.myspace.com/arcticmonkeys  

Happy Independence Day

Happy 4th of July..

from a place where no one celebrates it (I'm in Berlin again, but not for much longer). 

Jasmine is finally out of school (amazing report card) and  has the whole world to explore. Of course I am happy for her, but naturally worried too. How does one let go? I admire people who can, as I am finding it, well, impossible. I will, but still, it's difficult. Even leaving Berlin now will be difficult, as for me it will be somehow leaving her. I have lived two lives (USA/GERMANY) for so long now, I don't think I can change. I love both places- well, I love Europe and how one can hop a plane for $50 and fly to the UK, Italy, or France.

Trying to envision myself settling down and living a normal life, one life, in one house/flat with one person, forever. This freaks me out. I feel push coming to shove here, like I have to decide something big, something SOON and I am not liking it at all. Well, we all do shit we don't like I suppose but being a Libra woman, I try to avoid making big decisions, I can never make up my mind about anything.

I can't even sleep anymore as the decision making side of my brain is wide awake, tapping it's foot, waiting impatiently for some answer that I can not give. All I know for sure is I love the people that I love, whole heartedly, I love my work and I LOVE music…that's pretty  much all I can say is 100% certain.  

"On July 4, 1776, we claimed our independence from Britain and Democracy was born"

Hmmmmm, we broke away from the British empire. That's what all the cole slaw, cook outs and fireworks are about? What a great reason to fucking party. I tried to watch "The wind that shakes the barley" last night and have to confess I only downloaded it cause Cillian Murphy stars in it. But watching British soldiers beat the fuck out of (and kill) unarmed Irish natives as they tried to take over the whole of Ireland made me so sick I had to turn it off half way through. Reminded me of watching Braveheart, how the English killed so many of the Scots, and countless other films that show the English killing/beating the Irish, French, Scottish and well, trying to take over all of America too, well, it just makes me sad and it makes me want to move to Ireland for some reason. War is stupid. Some countries, however, have started more than others. Some breed aggression. The English over here in Berlin are no exception. They start fights every where they go (out in Berlin). There are signs on some bars that say "No Brits!".

I got a taste of that on Saturday night when I hosted a karaoke show. I saw loads of Brits that were in the bar start fights for no reason. Idiots. One even roughed me up. Big bad men. Whatever. Have a fucking scone and relax. They should leave their boxing attitude back home in the UK. But then again, they fit in quiet nicely amongst the German men who throw their fists around as well. The guy who knocked me out here in January while out jogging got off the hook without ANY trouble. He didn't even get arrested. You can actually punch someone out here and not get into any trouble. Some love the liberal ways of Germany, but sometimes it can make you feel unprotected.

I mean sex offenders/pedophiles get off too easy here; they don't stay in jail for long at all, and most get out after a couple years even after murder. Double edged sword here. You feel free, as in, when you are out driving, there are no cops on your fucking ass. You can drink in public, drink basically at any age, smoke grass out in public, piss outside, sunbathe in the nude without any scoffs or trouble, but when it comes to having the law come down on someone who hurt you or your belongings, forget it. They have better things to do, like throw people in jail for forgetting to pay their taxes on time. Murder, rape and violence is frowned upon. Avoiding your taxes will get you 10 years or more in jail. The Government has their priorities. You just sit back and hope karma will take care of things. 

Before I go, I want to know was I the only one who realized how fucking stupid Larry King was asking Olivia, George Harrison's widow, what she thought of the song "Something" ? That song was written about George's ex, Patti Boyd . You can see the interview on Youtube. I just thing Larry was all over the place. That would be like asking Julian Lennon how he likes the song "Beautiful Boy" when it was clearly written about Sean. Guess Larry isn't much of a Beatles fan..DOH! 

Juliette Lewis and the Licks are on FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I know, it has taken me 6 days to complete this blog, but I am dam busy- hard to believe I know. No matter, the sweet taste/smell/sound of Juliette and her Licks are still fresh in my mind. Honestly, I had only heard that she has a band a year ago in NYC, my Jewish friend, Seth Abrams, who is very good friends with the band H20 told me about Juliette and the Licks, that they were playing in NYC and he wanted to bring me but at the last minute, it fell through, blah blah, apparently it was sold out as fuck and I couldn't be bothered to try to work/con/beg my way in, so I missed the show. Seth said it was amazing and I now know that was an understatement. I formed my band just this past April and was told by a few that I remind them of Juliette and I hadn't seen any of her videos or even heard any of her songs. Now that I have seen/heard her, I though "fuck it, why even bother! I will just throw in the towel right now, no point in even trying". This woman RULES Rock and Roll (and even Punk). She does stuff on stage I wouldn't dare do, things I couldn't do, things David Lee Roth did in his prime, things Iggy Pop tried to do. "She will rock you" (see the Rolling Stone  magazine cover she graced).

 

When I showed Juliette this picture I printed out for her to sign ^ I said "I hope your band isn't upset that I just have a picture of you instead of the whole band" she smiled and said "oh please, they are SO used to 'the Juliette show' ". She is sooooo funny, I was laughing my ass off the whole night..

I massaged some of the band before Juliette even arrived. They were on a tiny Promo tour and were already all knotted up, tired and stressed out. They are NOT getting special treatment, they are paying their dues like all bands do. Living on 3 hours of sleep a day, riding  in buses instead of sleeping in hotels and yes, barely getting paid.

I know Juliette from her films, From Dusk til Dawn, Hysterical Blindness (my favorite), What's eating Gilbert Grape, California, Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear, etc etc…she has done about 50 films in 8 years, I think she is a work-o-holic. It seems she has just put the movie star career on the back burner to focus 100% on the Rock star career. It was a big risk and for the life of me, I can't think of another actor/actress that has done it successfully, but she is on her way to being the next  female icon. I won't dare compare her to Janis Joplin, as Juliette is of course hotter, very modern, very very flexible and she stage dives, head first, then crowd surfs without fear, something Janis nor any other female rock/pop star has done, to my knowledge. She flirts with the audience sometimes in between songs and everyone, even females, melt.

She couldn't have chosen a better band to back her,  they are tight and in person, are super cool, no attitudes, no ego's just great musicians  (oh, they are all hot too, but that's besides the point completely).

     

Set list ^

This is Todd, formerly of H20 (just google it ok?). Seth lives or lived in the same building as Todd ^  in NYC. Todd is calm, cool, collected and extreme eye candy. The band has her back, the click so well together.

Kemble, is also extreme eye candy ^ , is very polite and friendly and WAILS on guitar!

The drummer is fairly new, not sure why they changed drummers, but this one learned all of their songs in 3 weeks. His name is Ed ^ and he is from Austin, Texas. I totally kicked his ass; wonder if he could move properly the next day.. but he needed it. Drummers always need deep tissue massage, more than anyone else in the band…

 < Kemble in action

I did get a new camera – a bigger and better Sony cyber shot with 7.2 mega pixels, but still, it's not the best camera for onstage shots.

The band came out in full force and never let up. They had the crowd going mad, they were slam dancing so wildly that even I was getting crushed and tossed around and I was waaaay up front on the side near the amplifier (my ears are still ringing). She brings out the crazy fucking Indian in you, she makes you want to play, get sweaty and just ROCK.

It must have been hard when she first started out with her band, I can imaging the critics bashing her before she even started "oh great, another star wanting to change careers". But I am sure they have eaten their words now, as if you hear her sing, you can't imagine why she ever chose a career doing anything else. Even if being a Rock star for a while was a role she wanted to try out, she has become THAT rock star, she IS the REAL DEAL.

I imagined since she is such a well know movie star that she would have a big hair and make up crew on tour with her, body guards and personal assistants to grant her every wish. I was dead wrong. She has NONE of those. Paul, the tour manager, takes good care of her. He, by the way, multi tasks, he does tour/production and personally catches her when she is done body surfing. Juliette is lucky to be surrounded by so many great people who all care about her and want to help make this Rock and Roll journey work like a charm.

 

 

^ If you watch closely, you will see Paul (big blonde man) helping Juliette after her crowd surfing

Juliette spoke to me while we all had dinner in the catering room as if she knew me for years. She makes you feel welcome and comfortable. Actually, she is pretty much exactly how I imagined she would be, similar to the role she played in "What's eating Gilbert Grape". Laid back, FUN, cute as hell and sexy without even trying.

Everyone is drawn to her and her irresistible charisma. She is NO DIVA, she is the opposite, a pure rock chick , running around without any make up, worn out jeans and an old YES concert t-shirt on, before and after the show. She wanted her scalp and feet done before the show and when I was doing her feet, she said when her band makes it big, and she can afford me, she wants to bring me on the road to massage her every day. For me, that is the biggest compliment *sigh*.. I am still purring. I did warn her that she would want to marry me when she tried my foot massage. She was really loving it (note to men: I TOLD you, ALL women want is their fucking FEET DONE properly, so get busy).

After the show I massaged her again… she was really ill that night, a cold and living off of 3 hours of sleep over the last few days.

She still looks amazing in my opinion, not that she cares, she is SO not into the whole hair and make up thingy. She carries her own bags and didn't make any demands at all.

The band did a rather long meet and greet after the show even though they were dead tired. She posed with people for pictures and signed loads of autographs like a champ.

Watching her and seeing how much work this REALLY involves ( I have seen it for years, but watching her do it from scratch was different). I really saw first had what it takes to keep a band going, it's SO MUCH WORK, it actually turned me off wanting to take my band to the next level. Touring is HELL and it takes so much out of you. I felt sorry for the whole band and wish I could have gave them SLEEP as a present on top of the brutal massages. I over heard her mention that she just turned down a HBO series, which would have been amazing for her career, to keep working with her band. She said "I'm gonna ride this thing until the fucking wheels fall off!!!". Now THAT is Rock and Roll.

Their two month tour started yesterday (see the dates below) and if they are heading to a town near you, please go check them out, you won't believe your eyes and ears.

These pictures are from their myspace page  ^   you can hear my favorite song of theirs American Boy on there…check it!

Sep 26 2006 8:00
 Concorde 2 Brighton
Sep 27 2006 8:00
 Astoria London
Sep 28 2006 8:00
 MDH Manchester
Sep 29 2006 8:00
 Leadmill Sheffield
Okt 2 2006 8:00
 Rescue Rooms Nottingham
Okt 3 2006 8:00
 The Village Dublin
Okt 4 2006 8:00
 ABC Glasgow
Okt 5 2006 8:00
 Metropolitan University Leeds
Okt 8 2006 8:00
 Backstage Werk Munich
Okt 10 2006 8:00
 New Estragon Bologna
Okt 11 2006 8:00
 Rolling Stone Milano
Okt 12 2006 8:00
 Usine Geneva
Okt 13 2006 8:00
 Cooperative de Mai Clermont-Ferrand
Okt 14 2006 8:00
 Vents Des Suds Toulouse
Okt 16 2006 8:00
 Sala Apolo Barcelona
Okt 17 2006 8:00
 Sala Arena Madrid
Okt 18 2006 8:00
 Kafe Antzokia  Bilbao
Okt 20 2006 8:00
 Trabendo Paris
Okt 21 2006 8:00
 Den Atelier Luxembourg City
Okt 22 2006 8:00
 Uebel & Gefaehrlich Hamburg
Okt 23 2006 8:00
 Pumpehuset Copenhagen
Okt 25 2006 8:00
 Folken Stavenger
Okt 26 2006 8:00
 John Dee Oslo
Okt 28 2006 8:00
 Trädgårn Gothenburg
Okt 29 2006 8:00
 KB Malmo
Okt 30 2006 8:00
 Debaser Medis Stockholm
Okt 31 2006 8:00
 Platensbar Linkoping
Nov 4 2006 8:00
 Palladium Warsaw
Nov 5 2006 8:00
 Roxy Prague
Nov 7 2006 8:00
 Coccon Club Frankfurt
Nov 8 2006 8:00
 Gloria Koln
Nov 9 2006 8:00
 Starclub Dresden
Nov 10 2006 8:00
 Riff Bochum
Nov 11 2006 8:00
 Karlstorbahnhof Heidelberg
Nov 13 2006 8:00
 Paradiso Amsterdam
Nov 14 2006 8:00
 Solus Bar Cardiff
Nov 15 2006 8:00
 Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth
Nov 16 2006 8:00
 University Newcastle

My friend (right) Fabi and his girlfiend (left) are soooooo smitten with Juliette. They begged me to introduced them. Fabi helped produce

a song for my band and he is super cool, so I did. This picture cracks me up, it looks like Fabi is punching his girl in the face. lol.

I took this shot of the band just minutes after they got off stage.. Juliette is so low maintenance, so naturally beautiful.

^ Jason, the bass player is the only one I didn't get a solo picture of, he was really busy with his new lap top, and I came to this conclusion about Rock stars, Lap tops are

the main reason modern day rock/pop stars stay out of trouble now a days. They now have something constructive to do before and after the show, surf online, mainly on myspace.com. Whereas years ago, before the internet / Lap tops were so popular and easy to get, the artist would be bored out of their minds on tour, as they are only on stage for 2 hours, what the FUCK else do you expect them to do the other 22 hours? No wonder Jimi, Janis, Keith, Jim and co. all partied too hard, it's fucking boring waiting around for show time. So in some perverted way, the internet has saved Rock and Roll. Amen.

England are still the real winners in my eyes

Total bullshit. An Argentinian referee (everyone knows they HATE the English) gets rid of Rooney; Beckham was down (got stomped on by Portugal's Nuno Valente… 

THEN the penalty goal was in, but the ref said, well, I wasn't ready, so it didn't count. I feel it was unfair. England should have won. Can you say 'conspiracy'?… 🙁

 Even Mick was "not amused"


The Ramones by Dr. Dot

THE RAMONES round I, from Dot’s diary:

It was the movie Rock ’n Roll High School
that turned me on to the Ramones. I had this burning teenage lust to meet the
singer, Joey Ramone. He looked so sexy! I’m not sure if it was how he sang “I
want you ‘round” so sensually to the girl in the movie, or how he wore his
jeans so snug on his boney hips, but I just had to meet this man.
In the movie, it’s totally impossible to even get a ticket to see the Ramones
in concert, much less to meet them in person. So I was going out of my mind
when I saw them for the first time at the Agora Ballroom in Hartford,
Connecticut, when I was 15. Before the show, I started talking to one of their

roadies, and he said he would introduce me to the band if I showed him my
tits. I was like ‘no deal’.
He let me watch the show from the soundboard anyhow, where you could see the
whole stage. The lighting person then was a guy named Arturo Vega, who
designed their logo and all of the record covers. He did sound, lights,
managed and organized the whole tour thing, and anything else the Ramones
needed at the time. Arturo was at the sound board and he asked me if I wanted
to meet the band (he kinda rescued me from the horney roadie guy who wanted to
see some TIT). So naturally I was over the moon at the offer. About twenty
minutes after the show, he took me backstage and upstairs to the dressing
room.
The band was very sweet to me. DeeDee Ramone, the bassist, was acting all
crazy, making wild faces and smoking.

  < DeeDee spitting

Johnny, the guitarist, was not at all
like I imagined. Not overly friendly, definitely not a flirt. The drummer at
the time was named Ritchie. He looked good, but he was involved with a ballet
dancer and he wasn’t very chatty to other females.
Then came the moment that I spoke to Joey. He was sitting alone in a corner.
Joey speaks very softly, and you have to listen up or you’ll miss something!
But everything the man said was funny as hell. This I found unbelievably
attractive. A man that can make a lady laugh has it all! He asked for my
number, and said they come to Connecticut often and that he would call me up
next time they were in town. I was in heaven! Joey signed my left tit, and
wrote “ To OL’ Dot, love Joey Ramone” and made the “O” in “OL’ go rite around
my nipple, I still have

 

 

Now I was even more crazy about the Ramones. At the time I was living with my
Grandfather and an Aunt in Ellington, CT. Bless their hearts, they had
absolutely no control over me at all. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I
pleased. Sure, they complained sometimes, and frowned upon certain things, but
they were too busy to actually tighten the leash.
Anyway, Gramps can be very grumpy, especially if woken up in the middle of the
night. Joey would usually call late at night, after the gig. I was thrilled,
but sometimes Gramps would answer the phone beside his bed before I could get
to the one in the kitchen. He would scream down the hallway, “Dot!!!

Joey is on the phone, and it’s  two o’clock in the God Damned
morning!” But I would still get on the phone every time. I’d have to sit on
the stairs that went from the kitchen to the basement and talk to him very
quietly. It was so great to hear from Joey, my „first love” – like a dream
come true.
He would tell me where he was and what they were doing, and ask when I could
come to the next show. Joey lived in Manhattan, and most of the shows would
happen on Fridays. So from then on, after school on Thursdays, I was finished
with school until Monday. I was almost never in school on Fridays in the 11th
and 12th grades, all because of those concerts.
Uh, by the way, I had told Joey that I was 19 years old. I know, I know,
that’s lying, but I knew if he knew how old I really was, he would never have
been interested. My breasts surely looked 19 years old, so the tiny white lie
went over without a doubt.Most young girls make themself older and as we all
know, most older women make them self younger. *sigh* -women!
I went everywhere to see the Ramones. Any show in Connecticut, Rhode Island,
New York, all over New England – and I was there. I even flew to Virginia for
a concert once!

^ Me and Vera (Dee Dee’s first wife) at a Ramones show in Virginia Beach. I know,I know my HAIR!


Joey and I were an item, and I always got taken care of. After the shows I got
to ride in the minibus back to the hotel or to the next gig, sitting right
next to Joey. I always massaged his feet and hands in the mini van, and later
on I would massage his back in the hotel room. (Joey had a really bad back,
totally out of line.)
DeeDee always had the back seat and he would toke on a joint and tell the
weirdest jokes and stories. We never needed a radio! Arturo sat in the
passenger seat, and Monty, the Ramones’ tour manager, drove. Monty never cut
loose and partied; he was serious about his job. Once and a while I got him to
soften up and smile, to relax. Sometimes a little shoulder massage while he
was driving helped.
Sometimes I would be so damn tired that I would put my head in Joey’s lap and
he would play with my hair for hours. It was heaven. Joey was actually very
shy and withdrawn. He wasn’t a loudmouth; he was very smart, funny and gentle.
He didn’t talk much, but when he did speak, it was always wise, sarcastic, or
hilarious. When he kissed me, he would put me on his lap and hold me, and the
kisses seemed to last forever. He had the softest lips oh GOD how lovely they
were.

 

 

^ Joey and I (that is a fake fur I am wearing so calm the fuck down)

After a while, I became a part of the Ramones scene. I even helped out a bit.
Before every show, Joey had a routine. He put on his fingerless leather gloves
and his stage clothes – which varied from time to time, but it was usually
very tight dark jeans, a sweatshirt, and sneakers. Then he would find an empty
room and do these very loud vocal exercises, clearing his sinuses with very
loud honking noises. No one was allowed to watch, but I was always waiting for
him outside the door, so I heard it all. I just thought it was great to be
able to witness all these pre-concert preparations. I still enjoy seeing what
all the stars do before shows. Some pray, some meditate. A lot of them do
vocal exercises. I have always found every aspect of backstage prep just as
exciting as the show., and sometimes even better!
Sometimes I would help Joey off the stage. Normally this was Monty’s job, but
I did it whenever I was around. Joey wore very dark tinted glasses, and it
would be so dark when the lights were off at the end of the show – and he was
so damn tall – he needed someone to hang onto, to help him see to get down the
ramp or the stairs.
Then there were the favors I did for DeeDee. At the time, DeeDee was married
to a gorgeous woman named Vera, but he also enjoyed nice scenery backstage. A
„looking at the menu, but not ordering” kind of attitude. DeeDee would have me
go out into the audience before and after the show to „find a cute chick.” So,
with my good eye for beauty, I would scout around and find the cutest looking
girl. I’d tell her DeeDee wanted to meet her, or ask her if she would like to
meet DeeDee.
I would bring her backstage and introduce her to the gang. DeeDee would have
his very dark Sun Glasses on, so you couldn’t even see his eyes. He would just
casually say ‘Hi,” and stay sitting where he was, usually in a corner, and
hardly talk to the girl! Talking to her was my job. I would just chat with her
and try to make her feel comfortable. It was actually very difficult, because
they never knew what was going on (no one did).
Girls would wonder why they were brought backstage, and the only real reason
was to light up the room, to give the band some eye candy. Even though it was
DeeDee’s idea, he would just smoke his joint and stare, or even pick his nose
in front of the girl. He didn’t care. This behavior usually scared the shit
out of the girl, and she would ask to excuse herself and quickly disappear.
Once I asked DeeDee why he picked his nose when the girls were around, and he
said, ‘Well, I don’t want them to fall for me. I just like to look at them!’
It was hilarious.

 

THE RAMONES II, from Dot’s diary:

The absolute highlight of my whole time with
the Ramones was the concert they played in my „home town,” Ellington, CT. It
was summer 1984, and I was begging Joey to come play in my tiny little town.
„But there isn’t even a concert hall there,” he argued. So I told him about a
restaurant in Ellington called the Country Squire. I told him the Country
Squire had a little stage, and they sometimes had country acts there. And
besides, the bartender, Kenny, was the biggest Ramones fan in the world.
So, after a lot of pleading and foot massages, Joey agreed. I can still
remember doing sit-ups in my grandfather’s living room, watching MTV, and
seeing the VJ’s face when she read off the Ramones’ tour dates. When she got
to Connecticut, it sounded like she was asking a question: „The Country
Squire? Ellington, Connecticut?” (the Country Squire is now called

Cippinno’s ). All my friends from school called me in
disbelief. They all knew I was hanging out with Joey, but still no one
believed they would come to Ellington. It’s in the middle of nowhere! It’s a
cow town!
Of course, most of my high school showed up for the gig. An hour and a half
after the show was scheduled to start, there was still no sign of the band,
and I was sweating bullets. Everybody was teasing me, saying the Ramones
weren’t coming, that it was all a joke. Then the mini van finally pulled up in
the gravel parking lot. I was practically crying for joy.
The guys jumped out and started explaining why they were late. Just up the
road by our local 7-11, the cops had pulled them over, apparently for
speeding. One look at the Ramones, though, in all their black leather, and the

cops had a field day. They searched the whole van for clues of a rock band’s
party materials – but they found nothing. The police tried to keep them there
as long as possible anyhow. It was probably the most exciting thing that had
ever happened to them. I mean, how exciting could it be to work as a cop in a
town like Ellington?
Finally, the concert began. I remember Joey hitting his head on the ceiling
during the show, because he is so frickin tall. He cut his head – it was even
bleeding a little. But they kept on playing.
During the break, the band and I went out back to get some air. The guys were
like, „Dot, there are cows surrounding us, and there’s corn everywhere. What
the fuck is this place?” I was so happy, I just wanted to marry Joey and live
happily ever after. And all my friends were totally flipping that the Ramones
were playing in our town. It was Ellington being put on the map.
Joey wanted to stay with me so he and DeeDee came over to my grandparents’
house. Gramps, who even Joey called „Grumpy Gramps,” made them both sleep in
the living room. The next morning, I remember bringing them  to Vernon, the
next town over. They wanted to ride the go-carts. It was quite a sight, as
Joey’s legs were a frickin mile long, so it was hell for him to squeeze into
the tiny go-cart seats. This is why I loved Joey. He was so fun, drinking
chocolate milk, riding go-carts, making me laugh. He was like a big kid.
As always, it was really fun hanging out with Joey. He didn’t talk much, but
everything he did say had me in stitches. He didn’t flirt with anyone or even
talk to other girls. He made me feel like the only girl on earth. I remember a
lot of other details from that time.

 

Joey, Arturo and I often went out to eat
Indian food when I was in town. It was like a ritual. I remember Joey had a
cat named „Mouse.” Joey loved having his feet rubbed more than anything, and
he would massage my back. This was way before I became a professional
masseuse. He was so generous and caring, so romantic. I remember he would hold
me in his arms and kind of rock me, and he would pet my hair. Unlike most
boys, who would go right for the naughty parts, he always wanted to make me
feel comfortable. He was an awesome boyfriend, and I couldn’t get enough of
him.

  

^ Richie (was the Ramones drummer for a while)


* I remember the Ramones played a place in New Haven CT called Toads place.
You absolutely had to be 18 to get into this place. The owner demanded to see
my ID but naturally I didn’t have one as I was still under age. Joey told
him that I was with him, but the prick didn’t care. He said under NO
circumstances
was I allowed in the building. This argument went on for a few hours and
finally
Joey said “either she comes in or we don’t play”. How romantic was that? Well,
we won and the show went on. What a man!!!!By the way, here’s some Ramones trivia: Joey told me that the name Ramones
comes from their love of the Beatles. In the 60s, when Paul McCartney would
check into hotels, apparently he would use the name “Paul Ramone.” Supposedly,
Paul took this from his album RAM which has a song called “Ram On”. In the
beginning of the Ramones’ career, they were being marketed as the punk
Beatles, because of the Beatles haircuts and matching punk clothes, four
members, etc.

—————————————————————————————————————

RAMONES, NOVEMBER 1989

In November of 1989, I was living in Berlin  doing the Hausfrau thing my
twenty-year-old husband and six-month-old daughter, when the Ramones once
again entered my life.
I was thinking that my rock & roll  days were long gone. Then one day the
phone rang. It was Arturo, telling me the Ramones were playing that night in
Berlin. It wasn’t that far from our house, so I told my guy that I wanted to
go and say hello.
It was the call of the wild, echoing in my ears once again, going, ‘Rock and
roll never forgets, Dot! Come back to us!’ I brought Benjamin and my daughter
– with the stroller, the burp rag, the whole family thing – to introduce my
family to the Ramones. “We’re a happy family” was ringing in my ears. I showed
my daughter off to the band, took a photo of Joey holding her in her little
snowsuit – November in Berlin is cold!
Joey didn’t want to meet Ben, and Ben couldn’t have cared less.I  understood
Joey,I wouldn’t have wanted to meet his new girl either,we obviously still had
feelings for eachother. When the show started, it got mega loud as usual, and
I did not want my daughter to get scared. So we left without even seeing the
show. But contact with the music scene stirred something up in me again. I had
been trying to ignore it, but I couldn’t any longer.


By the time the Ramones came back in 1992 I looked completely different. I was
wild, dressing like Madonna, wearing mesh clothes, and acting as carefree as I
ever had. They couldn’t believe how many times I changed my ‘image,’ but back
at the hotel Joey told me that he adored them all. We sat for hours in Joey’s
room, C.J was there too, it was the first time I met him, it was fun to hang
with the new Ramone and Joey,my old flame. While we were chatting, I made use
of the time by massaging Joeys big feet, that was his favorite, a firm foot
massage,with little to no oil on my hands, so he could “feel” my hands better.
When I said good night, Joey kissed me on the cheek and made me promise to
keep in touch. I would call on holidays and  every time I went to America, I
would call Joey and we would have a nice chat, so we did keep in touch.I
still,to this day,know his old number by heart.
——————————————————————————————-
THE RAMONES VI, from Dot’s diary, January 1996:

The Ramones were just in
Berlin as part of their “Adios Amigos” tour, which is supposed to be their
last tour ever.

  

^ Joey, me and Monte  back stage at Huxley’s Neue Welt

 

^ Marky gets a foot rub back stage in Berlin

^ CJ afer his massage 

(CJ took over where DeeDee left off in the band)

It was great to see them all again, especially Joey. After the show, he wanted me to come back

to the hotel with them in the van, as it was a bit far from the gig. Johnny complained that only the band

should go in the van, because it was too full. Joey told Johnny to shut up and put me on his
lap and off we went to the hotel. You could have cut the tension with a knife.
We all got into the lobby, and everyone wanted to rush to their rooms for a
shower. I told Joey I would meet him in the bar, but as soon as I got out of
the elevator on the second floor the other elevator opened and Joey came out,
as if he was in a hurry. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he
would clean up later and that we should sit and chat in the bar now.(this
melted my heart). So we sat together for a while. All the Germans were
staring, of course, because Joey looks really unique. So he suggested we drink

up and just go to his room.
I thought it was so sweet that he hurried to meet me, and now he wanted to
talk in private. Up in his room, Joey told me he was dating someone, but he
still kept being incredibly sentimental with me. I massaged his feet and he
played a cassette for me that his voice coach had made for him to practice
while on the road. He did all these vocal exercises for me (just like old
times!). It was awesome, and once again I felt privileged to still be so close
to Joey after all these years.
Right before Joey died, he would email me and tell me how he was doing. I told
him I was writing a book and I wanted him to read the Ramones chapters I wrote. It
took him ages but finally he read it all and wrote back to me “not bad, but take it
easy on Johnny ok Dot?” I was floored. My orignial material really was brutal, as in,
I spoke my mind and mentioned how basically everyone felt about Johnny but I edited it as Joey
wished and was nicer to Johnny (MEOW!) . That just shows you what kind of man Joey was.
If you you know anything about the Ramones, you would know that Joey should have been
the last person to request that someone be nicer to Johnny (Johnny famously stole Joey’slong time Girlfriend from him,

(thank God othewise I wouldn’t have been with Joey)

 

 

  ^ Mr. Grump (Johnny) in Providence, R.I, doing the doughnut thing.

—————————————————————————————————————————-
DEEDEE RAMONE, SUMMER 1998

My next “close encounter of the Ramones kind” was in the summer of 1998, when
DeeDee called me from New York, asking if he could come and stay with me for a
while, and maybe his wife would come, too. He told me some really long stories
about the weird hotel he was living at in Manhattan.
He said he wrote a book and he was doing art, but he really wanted to come to
Berlin. DeeDee grew up in Berlin. His mother is German, and his father was a
US soldier. He wanted to resurrect his music career. He was really into rap
now, and he asked me to find some German rappers who would like him to rap
with them.
DeeDee’s wife Barbara is from Buenos Aires. She was 19 at the time, and only
14 when they got married. After a Ramones gig in Buenes Aires, Barbara, who
couldn’t speak any English at the time, asked DeeDee for an autograph. DeeDee
can’t speak any Spanish, but somehow they fell in love, and now they’re a
pair.
I picked them up from the Berlin airport in my little Volkswagen, and I
couldn’t believe how DeeDee looked. He was incredibly skinny, and his head was
almost shaved, and the hair that was there was gray.

   

 

 

Dee-Dee and Barbara coloring in my living room ^

 

 

Barbara is a cutie. She looks more like a Ramone than Dee Dee did sometimes. She has that original
Ramones haircut. Black hair with long bangs. A pageboy cut, you know? Like the
Beatles had. And she has the same exact tattoos that DeeDee has, on her
forearms. It’s a row of five skulls going from the elbow to the wrist, on the
underside of the forearm. So I figured it must be true love.
I have already learned my lesson about having stars as guests in my house. The
first thing you do after you pick them up is take them grocery shopping.
Otherwise you’ll be sorry. So we went to the grocery store and it was
hilarious. Just imagine DeeDee, super jet-lagged, talking my ear off up and
down the supermarket aisles. They bought mostly junk food, noodles and coffee.
No health food. Probably to keep up the Ramones tradition.
Next on the agenda: where can I get DeeDee some weed? Naturally they can’t
bring their own, and it’s legal in Germany. But grass is hard to find. Hash is
everywhere, but he wanted grass. I didn’t know many people who smoke; only one
friend I know smokes regularly, but he won’t sell it. He will smoke with
people, but doesn’t want to deal it.
I tried to explain this to DeeDee, and he got increasingly angry. So I brought
him and Barbara over to my friend’s house, and my friend laid out a hell of a
lot of hash and grass and we all sat around chatting. I explained to DeeDee
that it’s not cool to just show up, smoke and leave. That he has to get to
know the guy and have a nice chat. And then they can smoke together.
They looked at a lot of old German antiques that this guy had, and books,
photos. But you could see it in DeeDee’s eyes how impatient he was getting.

He wasn’t used to not being in control, and I couldn’t help him out in this
situation. I simply don’t hang out with potheads here.
Finally they smoked and DeeDee loved it and he asked if he could buy some. He
wanted a lot, but the guy said no. But he gave DeeDee some to take with him
anyway. The amount he gave him was generous, but it didn’t last long.
Then DeeDee started bothering me constantly about grass. I was getting
annoyed. I was giving them a free place to stay and taking them sightseeing
and getting him press galore, so I felt he should be more grateful.
It was easy for me to get DeeDee Press attention, because I am already famous
in Germany. I had my book, and I was appearing on every German TV show
possible. So the press is happy when they have a new story with me.
One of Germany’s most popular TV stations (like ABC, or NBC) is called SAT1.
The have an evening show similar to Entertainment Tonight called Blitz. They
came to my house and interviewed us while I was massaging DeeDee.

 

He can speak a little bit of German, and I helped him along when he was stumped.

It was hilarious.
They filmed us for four and a half hours, although they only showed eight
minutes on TV. That’s typical with TV. Even though they had hours of footage,
they chose not to edit out DeeDee trying desperately to put his T-shirt back
on. He thought he was stuffing his head through the hole for the head, and he
was trying to stuff his head through the arm hole. It was frickin hilarious to
see DeeDee with his head stuck in such a tiny hole.
I still have this interview on video. So we helped each other out to get
publicity, and I am still grateful. There was a constant stream of journalists
in and out of my apartment the whole week DeeDee was there, and his photo was
in every Berlin magazine. The press didn’t know before that DeeDee was from
Berlin.
Apart from interviews, searching for pot and staying up all night smoking on
my balcony, DeeDee and Barbara spent a lot of time playing with my daughter.
She loved DeeDee and Barbara, because they were like kids, too. They
especially liked to color with her.
DeeDee would draw all these crazy things for her and she loved the way he
talks. He would say the funniest things like, ”I can’t believe she (Barbara)
likes me. Look at me! I’m ugly!” And he would say it in such a childish voice.

Sometimes even today, my daughter tells me to ” talk like DeeDee.”
DeeDee grew up in Berlin, and he was bored out of his mind in New York, so he
came up with the idea that we should swap apartments for a year. I was
actually thinking about it for a minute.

 

 Me massaging DeeDee in my Berliner flat  (1997?)

 


I like DeeDee, but I think the music business has made him a bit eccentric to
say the least. He has mood swings like New England’s weather changes! He told
me he wrote two books, but couldn’t afford an editor, so the books are printed
unedited, with a shit-load of mistakes. I find this unique, and typical
DeeDee.
All in all, DeeDee has a good heart. While he was in Berlin, Arturo called. He
was also in Berlin, with the Misfits, a punk group from NYC. Arturo was doing
the same for them that he did for the Ramones: a little bit of everything.
Lights, sound, merchandising, graphic designs for the merchandise, etc.
Arturo invited us all to the Misfits gig, in a club here called SO36. It was
small and trashy looking; a punk club. The Misfits know DeeDee already, and
invited him on stage at the gig to sing a few Ramones songs. The crowd went
wild!

 

 

Barb and Dee-Dee at Misfits gig ^

 ^ Doyle getting a rub down in Berlin from my healing hands 

 

The Misfits liked me very much. Jerry, the bassist, and Doyle  the guitarist both asked me to massage them after the gig.

Jerry was extremely sweet to me, and told me I could come on the rest of the tour if I wanted, but
I declined.
The Misfits line up has changed a lot since then. They had Marky Ramones on drums for a while…

Well, anyway it was great to have another round of Ramones, no matter how
strenuous it was. “We’re a happy family!”

* Update.
I asked Monte why I wasn’t mentioned in his book “On the Road with the Ramones”

and he said it was because I was so young when I dated Joey, that it could make Joey look bad. But
it was my fault, I never told Joey my real age…
I still see Monte sometimes when I go to Arturo’s house. Arturo is one of my
favorite people, no one on earth is as dedicated to the Ramones legacy as he
is. He has a lovely dog named Diesel who I could just eat alive, he is so
sweet! He is a boxer and is getting a bit old now but still wags his nub every time I come over.

  ^ Arturo Vega and I at one of his Art shows at the Niagra bar

 

  ^  Arturo’s tatttoo. He replaced Marky’s name with his own..ouch. 

 

Little fact not all Ramones fans know, Johnny’s ex wife is busy suing everyone she can. She has sued Vera, Arturo, Marky, Mickey (Joeys brother)  and everyone else she can as she just can’t stand it unless she has ALL of the control over the Ramones legacy. Pathetic. She wants EVERY SINGLE penny. She tried to prevent Vera from telling her own story in her book ‘Poisoned Heart’ even though the book had NOTHING to do with Linda or Johnny. She made Vera’s life HELL and cost her thousands of dollars in lawyer fees. Tsk tsk. Linda wants to own the Ramones logo, all the song rights, get all the royalties etc. So sad. She runs around dressing in the nasties clothes EVER (fur, micro mini skirts (isn’t she 60 years old now?). Karma, where are you?

 

Linda Ramone ^  (she left Joey for Johnny)