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Stereophonics get the Dr. Dot rub down in Berlin

I had only been in Berlin for 24 hours and was already massaging the amazing Stereophonics. I wasn't even close to catching my breath or unpacking, but nevertheless, not tired enough to turn down such a gig. My friend Quinner, whom I've known since 1992 is on tour with them. He invited me to come rub everybody down. I have never met this band before and certainly wasn't familiar with their music. A friend of mine from the UK told me “they are as huge as Coldplay! Go see them!”. I was so tired from my jet lag, I was really not in the mood to go anywhere, but dragged my tired ass to the Columbia Hall anyways to see them all.

Glad I did. What a great bunch of people. The management was sweet as pie and so was the band. The singer, Kelly has an incredible voice, rough and strong, super powerful. It was a sold out show and the place was heavin' with Brits who live in Berlin. I could hear every song perfectly from my massage room. I didn't see much of the show, as they smoke so much in Berlin, the air makes your eyes blood red within minutes. The band was not amused at how smokey the place was. It's so ignorant when people smoke at concerts, the smoke kills the singers voice and makes it hell.

^ Kelly and I (slap that arrogant look off my face k?). You can see my Leopard Bra, how cheesy..

Anyhow, the bands main members are Kelly Jones (singer/guitarist/song writer) and Richard Jones (Bass). They come from South Wales (yummy accents!) and have been friends since like the 3rd grade (that's what Quinner told me anyways). The drummer is from Argentina and is called Javier Weyler. The keyboardist, Barry, is from Manchester and had gorgeous eyes, like most Mancunians by the way…. I didn't take his picture though, slipped my mind, too much going on.

^ Richard (6 feet of fun)

After the show they all got a massage and we hung around havin' a laugh and what not. The roadies were in and out of the dressing room and even they were cool. One of the cool things about being in Berlin is that when bands pass through, they are usually on their way to another country and they give me certain things that they can not bring across borders, loads of small change and other goodies… YAY!

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The Experts Guide Party

The Experts Guide Party (Thursday Night) was alright, but Donald Trump didn't come due to bad planning on someone's part, as he launched his new magazine “Trump World” the same night! (Hope he doesn't put himself on the cover of every issue like another celebrity here in the states-not mentioning any names, but she has her own magazine and puts her own picture on the cover of every issue, which I find a little too much). Anyhow, the main author, Samantha Ettus, who enlisted the Experts for her book 'The Experts Guide to Life' was naturally there and I was asked to pose with her, as were the other Experts there.

That is Samantha and I holding up the book.

When she first laid eyes on me (first time we met in person) she yelled “You are so YOUNG! Oh my god!”. Well, what did she think I was another Dr. Ruth already? Was she expecting me to come wobbling in with a cane? She must have been too busy to look at my web sites.

After the press photographed us, I met Alex Michel, the Original Bachelor, (you know those LAME reality shows that take hot guys and make the chicks fight over them over a few weeks?). Well, I personally have never seen the show, and told him so. He said he has heard a lot about me and wants to do a documentary about me, follow me around with cameras etc. I said, 'take a number buddy!'. Hee hee, I was in a pretty sarcastic mood there as I am still ill and well, I hate all that ass-kissing that goes on at such VIP parties. We chatted for a while and he wanted a sample of my grip, so I rubbed his shoulders for a minute and the press snapped me doing so. There is a magazine here called The New Yorker and the photographer there was from that magazine, so that is where it will end up I guess. Anyhow, I told him I have never seen him, but I know of another Bachelor from US magazine who is eye candy. Alex snapped, “Well, I am the ORIGINAL Bachelor, he got tips for me!”.

Alexandra and I met Andrew Firestone, the aforementioned other Bachelor.

Andrew has had it made, even before birth. He was born into the Firestone family, you know the TIRES that are probably on your car/suv/truck. In other words, he is RICH as hell. He is one of the experts in the book, he wrote the chapter on how to open a wine bottle. He knows he is hot and sought after and I found him a bit snobby if you want to know the truth. I wouldn't be so smug if I was him, he has small feet and a tiny nose, and we ALL know what that means. You shouldn't act like prick unless you are packing a big one. Smiles

After hours of sweating in that hot as HELL French restaurant, (which only had ONE ladies toilet, hello? Hundreds of ladies and one crapper? Cut corners somewhere else pal) Alexandra and I and two ladies from Arizona (one was an Expert who wrote “How to eat with Chop Sticks” named Laura) all piled into my car (the other girl is Asian and her name is hard to remember, something like Tusay) and headed towards a restaurant that they ALL insisted on going to called Indo-Chine.

Here I am attempting to eat eggplant with chop sticks, the girl next to me is Laura, the Expert on Chop Sticks, and not even she could teach me how to use those friggin things so I flagged down our hottie waiter and demanded a fork. By the time I would learn, I would have fainted from hunger!

None of the girls are from NYC (Alexandra has never even been to the USA before) and they have ALL heard about this place. They heard many stars go there and the food is great etc. No stars and the food was NOT all that. No brown rice? Way over priced and the Bathroom was hot as HELL! Jonesy joined us and we all crammed into my car to go to karaoke. Alexandra was too jet lagged and jumped out at her hotel, then we raised HELL. I drive faster and better than any cab driver in Manhattan. I zoom in and out and around the sea of taxis like Michael Schumacher and my passengers love it. I crank the music (usually FUNK to get us rowdy) and fly like the wind. It's like a roller coaster ride.

Roller Coaster

Laura and Tusay really let loose in the car. I took Laura's MOM type earrings our and messed up her hair, took those chop sticks out of her “I don't want sex” hair do and she went wild in the car. There were limbs waving out of every window, including my sun roof and Jonesy video taped the whole time as usual (He has tons of rowdy footage, remind me to bribe him for the tapes).

In the karaoke joint, Jonesy and I decided to try songs we have never tried before as it was pretty empty. I sang “I'm a SOUL MAN” from the blues brothers. It sounded awesome but it is hard to pull off a Blues Brothers tune in a fucking prom dress! Jonesy did Stevie Wonder's “You are the sunshine of my life” so well, the two black dudes in the place gave him jealous looks.Then I did “A day in the life” from the Beatles and I had the timing down perfect, but it's not my range (odd, as it sounds prefect when I sing it in my car!). Laura and Tusay danced when we sang but they refused to sing.

Now, with all that partying, I am back to square one with this evil cold Sicky

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Cashing in on Dead Punk Stars

I get hundreds of emails from Ramones fans, all distraught at Monte Melnicks new book about the Ramones. How he reveals some not so nice secrets and “dirty habits” of Joey and Dee-Dee. He conveniently forgot to mention my name at all ( he said it was because I was underage when I was dating Joey, which is true, but hello? We were in love!)

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Dot the Grinch

I can't stand the Holiday season, am I the only one besides the Grinch who feels this way? Sure it is fun when your MOM is cooking and cleaning and your parents are doing all the work, shopping,

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I LOVE THE BEATLES!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes, I am very aware that this photo has already appeared in one of my former blogs, but I don't care, it is my favorite photo and I still can not get over the fact that I got to kiss Paul McCartney!! Fucking hell, wake me up, am I dreaming?

I ordered “The Beatles Anthology” on DVD and Paul McCartney's “Back in the U.S” DVD and I want to say a few things about both of them. The Paul DVD is incredible, but obviously the camera men on his tour were HORN DOGS, they show girls with HUGE TITS throughout the whole friggin' concert. I mean, I can understand one or two gorgeous women being shown now and then, but this is SO OBVIOUS. I mean, Paul doesn't strike me as such a tit man, or a prev – at all! He seems like a big innocent sweet heart! But who ever edited this concert material decided, well, lets put as many breast in there as we can, so the men watching don't get bored ( er , rather, the men editing it don't get bored). But other than that, it is fucking amazing.

Moving rite along, if you are at ALL a Beatles fan, you simply can not go on in life without buying the Anthology DVD's. I am glued to the TV every night watching each one, I am now on part 7, they are the BOMB. Every thing the Beatles ever did, sang, went, wore, shagged, its all in there. It has so much info and rare footage, every Beatles fan will be pleased. And anyone who watches it, who isn't a fan, will probably have to throw in the towel and love them too.

I am still in Berlin, and it is FREEEEEZING here! I will have to honor of massaging an Italian super star this Saturday afternoon, he is called Eros Ramazotti. He is very talented and