Ask Dr. Dot
Q.
Here's my story
I’m 32 and find myself in my first relationship ever – I’ve never felt too comfortable,
nor turned on, by sex….and now I have a boyfriend that I like but I am not turned on
when we have sex…and needless to say, I do not cum….I’m somewhat self-conscious
when it comes to broaching this up with him, but I would like to enjoy sex with him but
am not sure if this is possible-how do I find out what turns me on (and no, I
do not have an active imagination.I’ve tried.I do not even care to masturbate.
waiting and Wanting
Wanking in the shower is fun, but can be hazardous ^
A.
If you are on the birth control pill, overweight or depressed, that could be the reason
for your lack of sex drive. If none of those apply,
it could be that you are just not a sexual person, in this case, my
heart goes out to you.
Just like a smoker can't quit unless he wants to, a non sexual person can't cum
unless they want to. Only you can answer that question.
You are right not to tell him your dilemma, as no man wants to hear that their
Girlfriend doesn't like to fuck. However, if you are screwing and
there is a spot that you want to him rub/lick/reach, then make sure you tell him.
Communication is the key to good sex. Maybe you don't like to masturbate because
you haven't done it correctly.
Make a hot date with yourself, sip some wine, have a hot bath then spread a blanket
out on the floor and put two or three pillows vertically on top of each other,
forming what will be your "man". The floor is best for getting up into the
hard to reach spot, also known as your clit. Cover pillows with a towel, as
they will get wet. Pop a naughty movie into your player and make sure some lube and
remote control are within reach.
Lube up your favorite hand and lie on top of your hand and the pillows. No need to
go inside, as the clit is what needs to be stimulated; this can be done easily
by having your four fingers together (loads of lube) and rocking back and
forth on top of your fingers (riding on hand which is between you and pillows).
The pillows need to be vertical, as your legs should drape down on each side
of pillows making more pressure on your hand/clit. Let go of all pointless thoughts,
just get selfish and make sure you cum. Once you learn to do that, you will know
what pressure and frame of mind it takes to trip your trigger. Some girls can make
themselves cum on a guy much easier than having the guy make her cum. If you are
a slight control freak, you may have to make yourself cum on the guy (you on top
for example). As disturbing as it sounds, the clit is just like a tiny penis, in
fact, some say it is. Treat it accordingly. Inner stimulation is fun, but the clit
needs action to climax. Also, you could have an affair with your shower-head if
it has enough pressure. Once you find out how fun it is to make yourself cum, show
him what worked and try to incorporate him into your repertoire.
< Find your magic spot
Q.
I am finally single again after 6 long years of HELL with my ex girlfriend who loathed sex.
Now I am dating a married mother of 2, yes, I know I'm a mother fucker. She said she will never
leave her rich but boring husband but loves to fuck me. Problem is, she is super jealous. She
has been bitching about my female friends and even trying to read my text messages etc.
I find the attention flattering as my ex didn't give a shit but I am starting to feel smothered.
How can I improve this otherwise perfect set up?
Backdoor Man
SUCKS!
A.
The best way to stop jealousy is to stop it right away. Show your new partner their boundaries as soon
as they start to over step them. Telling a woman "I find jealous very unattractive; a complete
TURN OFF!". This should end it, if not she is stubborn or dumb, both traits are worse than jealousy.
Remind her gently that she is sleeping with another man every night, then kiss her to shut her up.
A nice kiss will shut her up ^
Q.
Is it bad to not really wanna date guys with no money anymore? Been there done that, the whole
broke guy thing, and I just feel like I am going backwards when I start dating guys with little
funds. I am not superficial like it sounds, and I know guys with bucks can be dicks, too.
Anyway, I have a lot of guys asking me out these days, but none that really really have their
shit together, and I feel that going out with them is a waste of time since I know that I really
don't want them. I would rather be alone honestly than do a sympathy date or fuck. And I don't
think I am shutting myself out to some great guys because I dated so many from all over the world
that I feel my weeding out factor is strong now. I just wonder if now my standards are ridiculous.
high, that is.
Classy Kate
< Just kidding
A.
Men leave their old wives for young, fertile women all the time. Men stare at young, perky tits on a
daily basis, not only because they look gorgeous, but because it's natures way of drawing them to a
fertile partner. The same goes for women being drawn to strong, secure men, which used to be just
a muscular thing centuries ago, but now, a bank account has replaced the muscle attraction for most
women. Just like animals, the female chooses the most eligible partner to breed with, so do modern
ladies. It doesn't mean they are gold digger's, it means they are looking for a secure man to have
kids with and/or to settle down with. Making sure he can take care of you and your possible offspring
is normal. Some men actually respect and yearn for a woman who expects a lot from them. It somehow
motivates them,it challenges them and most men LOVE a challenge! (Sports, wars, competitions, gambling).
Nothing wrong in falling for a man who can also support you. "Would you walk away from a fool and his money?”
Some women prefer to date men who can change their diapers, I mean, take care of them ^
Q.
Please forgive my English, I am French.
Since 4 months I live with my girlfriend and her 4 yr. old daughter. My
Girlfriend is always stressed… I made everything possible to help her, I
take good care of the child. She moved in with me as she lived in a far away
town.
Since she moved in she seems always under stress, and the result is that she
is angry for nothing and talk to me like crap (so we argue a lot about that
because I hate it) + she is always so tired and he have sex only 2 / 4 times a
month (at the beginning it was a least everyday / twice a day)! The good point
is when we do, sex is always very wild and good.
I love sex, may be too much, and I feel I don't have enough, the more I ask my
girlfriend it feels like the less I have…
She tells me it's not about me, that it's only because her work is bothering
her too much, that she is not used to the stress of living in a big city + the fact
that my flat is too small (one room for the two of us + her daughter) Her
reason are right I can understand all that but the point is I really feel like
starving for sex… I know it doesn't sound nice but that's the way it is….
Crazy Horse
< Yes baby, like that
These guys know what women REALLY want ^
A.
Now you know why I frown upon living with a lover. If you LOVE sex, don’t
Live together. I know, I know, it’s too late and most folks aim for it their whole
Life, but that is my personal opinion. IF you have to live with someone, having
your OWN room could keep things hot, so you may want to save up and get a
bigger place, it will be worth every penny if you are getting your leg over more
often. Now, moving onto your cold shrew. She may be drinking too much coffee,
this makes everyone STRESS out! Try to buy some decaffeinated coffee and sneak
it into her real coffee without her knowing.
Also, massage her FEET every night, each foot 10 minutes or more. Then her
legs and back, this should make her want sex, maybe even ask you for it.
Candle lit Massage and a glass of red wine and some cow-tongue oral sex should
bring on the taming of the shrew.
Q.
I am dating a college guy, who seems like a potential long term partner. All of
his friends are married (which is a good sign) and when he invites me out on dates,
it’s usually with a few other couples. Last time the husbands were VERY friendly
to me and I got bitchy vibes from the Jersey wives. I can’t help it if I am like one of
the guys, I am fun. It’s been a week since I heard from him and I sense it could
be due to the ice storm from the wives, they may have scathed their husbands and
him for having such a social girlfriend. I also told him in a drunken moment that
“I am only interested in having fun, nothing serious”. How can I make things better?
I don’t want to lose him.
Skated on thin ice in NJ
Tell him to leave the wives at home ^
A.
It’s great that he hangs with relationship minded couples and a good sign that he
brings you into his social circle. One on one dating is already nerve wracking but
when you toss in a few bitchy females and flirty males it becomes a complicated high
school style Bitch-fest. Let him contact you first, as nothing keeps a man away from
a woman he adores, not even a challenging comment like “I don’t want anything serious”.
When he does contact you (if he doesn’t, think of it as his loss) tell him you love
being with him but are too shy for group dates. If he insists on it,
agree but tell him you would prefer just drinks or just dinner and to look for your
“lets leave” glance because you can’t WAIT to get him alone to suck his cock.
Just be yourself and if the ladies don’t like you, they will hopefully ban their
husbands from dates that include you, saving you from being the complicated nag.
Q.
My new boy friend leaves stuff behind every time he comes over to fuck me. He also
leaves a mess in my kitchen. Everything else is perfect. How can I tame this cave man?
Tidy Tess
< Typical territorial Male behavior
A.
He is marking his territory, and if he is the only one you are dating/shagging, find
a corner or drawer for his left behind ‘markings” and if that is the only bad thing he does
( leaves a mess in your kitchen) , consider your self lucky, it’s not even worth mentioning.
Let it slide and save the bitching for important things like cheating, blatantly
drooling over other women in your presence or making you buy your own dinner/drinks.
Q.
Hopefully you don’t have to reserve a room in hell, as I know I will need one
eventually. I am dating a man who treats me like a Queen in every way possible,
it’s almost embarrassing how much he does for me. Thing is (there always is a
“thing” isn’t there?) he is FUGLY. The sex isn’t that bad after I suck down a
few drinks but I could easily live without it. I certainly can’t come as his
looks turn me off. Should I end it or tolerate it?
Beauty and the Generous Beast
A.
Looks are just an initial attraction to lure us to breed, they are great but
everyone gets old, grey and ugly as sin eventually.
Why not just fuck him doggy style? You don't look at the mantelpiece when you
poke the fire.
< WTF?